My parents' marriage was a business arrangement, entirely devoid of love. My mom would make out with her young boy toys right in front of my dad, and my dad brazenly photoshopped his "the one that got away" into our family portrait and used it as his phone's lock screen. The only reason they didn't divorce was because they wanted to give me a "complete family." But recently, the winds have shifted. My dad's first love moved back to the States. And the high school sweetheart my mom thought was dead? He's alive. So, they started talking about divorce. But they both wanted full custody of me. In court, my mom pulled out a kitchen knife, threatening to remove her uterus on the spot to prove she wouldn't have any more kids. My dad pulled out a pair of scissors, threatening to castrate himself. I was incredibly moved by their love for me. 1 When my grandma caught them, I was reading a comic book, and my mom was making out with her new boy toy. My grandma was so furious she immediately called my dad, demanding he come over right away. My mom wasn't scared in the slightest. She just kept flirting with her new boy toy. I called her new boy toy "Uncle Tommy." When I got tired of reading my comic book, Uncle Tommy would read it to me. My grandma stood to the side, furious, yelling at my mom. She called her a tramp and said the Sterling family didn't owe her anything. 2 My mom wasn't about to back down. Hands on her hips, she started screaming right back. My grandma finally snapped: "Enough! We'll talk when my son gets here. You two are getting a divorce today!" My mom rolled her eyes: "You better make sure your son actually divorces me." My parents' marriage was a corporate merger. When they got married, both families' businesses were booming. But soon after, my maternal grandparents' company went bankrupt. The reasons for the collapse were complicated, anyway. My mom had always wanted to divorce my dad. They both had other people they loved. My dad was in love with a poor college student he met years ago. He considered her the love of his life, his "White Moonlight." He even photoshopped a picture of her into our family portrait and made it his phone background. Originally, he just photoshopped her into a picture of him and me, but I wasn't happy about it. I wouldn't allow a picture without my mom in it. So, he photoshopped her into a picture of the three of us instead. 3 My mom was in love with a poor college student too; they were each other's first loves. But her college sweetheart joined the military and died on a mission. Ever since then, every young guy my mom dated looked a bit like him. I knew she was mourning her first love. Both my parents were very sentimental people. My dad arrived quickly. He walked right over, picked me up, gave me a bunch of kisses, and called me his precious baby. I was super happy too, hugging him and asking for a piggyback ride. My grandma immediately chimed in: "Son, your wife doesn't even bother hiding her affairs anymore. You have to divorce her! If she doesn't care about her dignity, we still care about ours." My dad was furious: "Sarah, are you insane? Cuckolding me in broad daylight!" My mom rolled her eyes: "He's our daughter's playmate." My dad's attitude instantly softened. He nodded at Uncle Tommy and said, "Thanks for your hard work. Take good care of my daughter, and I'll give you a raise." My grandma looked like she was about to explode: "Hudson Sterling, I demand you divorce her!" My dad looked torn: "Mom, if I divorce her, she'll steal my daughter!" My mom rolled her eyes again: "She's my daughter to begin with! Why should you get her?" "She's my daughter too!" "Bullshit! She came out of my body!" "Stop using that as an excuse. After she was born, I was the one changing her diapers and raising her! Now that she's walking and talking, you want to swoop in and take the credit! And how do you even take care of her? You're always hiring these 'playmates.' Is that how a mother acts?" My mom fired right back: "Oh, so you're the expert? Then you take care of her! If it weren't for you never being around, would I have to hire playmates? It's easy for you to stand there and criticize." 4 I looked at my dad, then at my mom. I was just about to tell them to stop fighting. But both their phones rang at the exact same time. I saw the caller ID on my dad's phone: "Vivian." "Hudson, I'm back in the States," my dad said, reading the message aloud. "Can you come pick me up at the airport?" Vivian—my dad's "White Moonlight." The eternal pain in his heart. My dad was speechless. My mom suddenly choked back a sob: "Arthur, you're not dead!" Arthur. Arthur Stone. My mom's first love. Every Memorial Day, she would make me stand in front of his gravestone and call him "Daddy." My mom's reasoning was that Mr. Stone died without any children to carry on his legacy, and she was worried he wouldn't have any money to spend in the afterlife. So, she had me pretend to be his daughter to burn some paper money for him... 5 The sudden silence was the scariest part. My parents looked at each other, then in perfect sync, they looked away. I said: "Mom, Dad, I'm hungry." My grandma was fuming, yelling at my dad that a piece of burnt toast would be better than him. She insisted they get a divorce. But they decided to take me out to eat first. Uncle Tommy came along to take care of me. He was so quiet you could barely hear him breathe. He smiled apologetically at my dad, acted subserviently to my mom, and took meticulous care of me. At the dinner table, I was the only one actually eating. My parents were both glued to their phones—one second looking devastated, the next sighing heavily, and then looking conflicted. I knew they were both mourning their respective romances. I felt a little bad for them. 6 After eating, I got a "food coma" and drowsily fell asleep. I felt my dad pick me up, and I snuggled comfortably into his arms and slept. I didn't wake up until the afternoon. I yawned. I climbed out of bed, drank a huge glass of water, and went downstairs. Downstairs, my parents were discussing the divorce. My dad said: "Vivian is back. I have to give her a home." This time, my mom didn't mock him. She also looked heartbroken and said: "Arthur isn't dead. He was undercover all these years, relying on our love to keep him going. I can't let him down." They spoke in unison: "Our daughter..." And then they stopped talking again. My dad spoke first: "I'll give you half my personal assets, and you can take all our joint property. Leave our daughter with me. You're still young; you can have more kids." My mom countered: "I'll leave with nothing, and I'll pay you twenty thousand a month in child support. You give me our daughter." They both scoffed at each other simultaneously: "In your dreams! You piece of trash!" 7 The dynamic in the house had completely flipped. Before, they wanted to divorce too. Before, when my mom kissed her boy toys in front of my dad, he would viciously declare he wanted a divorce. When my dad looked at the photos of his first love in front of my mom, looking depressed and saying, "Vivian, I'm so sorry," my mom would also say she wanted a divorce. But the moment the issue of custody came up, they would both back down. Because they both knew the other was a terrible person, and compromise was absolutely impossible. Now, they were constantly raising the stakes, desperate to get a divorce but equally desperate to win full custody of me. 8 I didn't know if they were actually going to get divorced. Honestly, deep down, I definitely didn't want them to. But I knew they didn't love each other. Sometimes, when my mom went to church, her prayer was always that my dad would get into a car accident and die so she could inherit a massive fortune. My dad was even worse. He actively encouraged my mom to take up extreme sports, promising he would take great care of me if anything happened. They both truly loved the people outside this marriage. When my mom was with her young boy toys, she acted much more delicate and feminine. But when she was with my dad, she was as awful as could be. She acted like a crazy person. Whenever my dad looked at his first love, his eyes were always deep and full of pain. I really wanted them to be happy, not to sacrifice themselves for me. I was getting older now, and I knew I shouldn't be too selfish. Especially since they loved me so much, I couldn't be selfish anymore. 9 My dad secretly asked me: "Sweetheart, if Mom and I get a divorce, and the judge asks you who you want to live with, who would you choose?" I said: "I'd choose you, Dad." He was so moved his eyes instantly turned red. He hugged me tight, and I hugged him back. We had such a deep father-daughter bond. My mom asked me too: "Sweetheart, would you choose to stay with Mom?" I immediately said: "I'll stay with you, Mom. We'll never be apart." My mom started wiping away tears too, swearing she would absolutely never leave me. 10 My mom took me to meet her first love. Mr. Stone was very tall and imposing, completely unlike the young boy toys I had seen before. He was very warm toward me, picking me up to play as soon as he saw me, and even brought me presents. When he looked at me, his gaze was restrained yet full of deep affection. He promised my mom: "Sarah, don't worry. From now on, I'll be so good to you and your daughter. I'm never taking another undercover mission again." My mom said: "Arthur, I'm never having another child in this lifetime. I only have one daughter, and I can't bear the thought of anyone making her feel unwanted or second best." I was so moved. This was my mom. "I agree. We already have our little Dumpling, we don't need any more kids. I couldn't bear to see you suffer through childbirth anyway." Mr. Stone said to me: "Precious, hurry up and call me Daddy. I am your daddy. Daddy had to go on a mission back then, which is why I had to leave your mommy. Daddy didn't know you existed yet." Me: "..." I distinctly remember my grandma taking my hair and my dad's hair to do multiple paternity tests. Calling my mom's first love "Daddy" felt like a bit of a betrayal to my actual dad. But looking at my mom's expectant eyes, I couldn't bear to break her heart, just like she couldn't bear to break mine. I also remembered that I had already been calling him "Dad" in front of his gravestone for years anyway. There was no reason I couldn't call a living person the same thing. So I steeled myself and called out: "Daddy!" He was so moved tears streamed down his face. His voice trembled as he said: "Daddy knows you used to sweep my grave. From now on, Daddy will stay right by your side and watch you grow up." My mouth fell open in shock. They hugged me, cuddling together, and started planning our happy future life. 11 Mr. Stone was in the military. They planned that after my mom's divorce, we would move to the military base housing. Mr. Stone said they had everything there, including lots of other kids for me to play with. My mom said she would cook dinner every day and wait for him to come home. I remembered that my mom couldn't even fry an egg. Once, my dad had a sudden whim to cook for me. My mom, afraid he would win me over, relentlessly mocked him. My dad was a bit flustered, and a bottle of soy sauce tipped over. My mom didn't help; she immediately pulled out her phone, started recording a video, and sarcastically commented on how clumsy he was. My dad was busy trying to salvage the burnt beef. I was the one who picked up the soy sauce bottle. Mr. Stone was very moved. I raised my little hand and asked: "Uncle—I mean, Daddy, can we hire a nanny?" Mr. Stone said apologetically: "Sweetheart, there aren't enough rooms there for a nanny to live with us." My mom said affectionately: "I don't want strangers in our house anyway. I just want our family of three to be together." I fell into deep thought... 12 My dad also took me to meet his "White Moonlight." Aunt Vivian was incredibly beautiful. She spoke very softly and smelled amazing. Under my dad's expectant gaze, I hardened my heart and called out: "Mommy!" Aunt Vivian swore to my dad: "Hudson, don't worry. I will absolutely take good care of Dumpling and be the best stepmother I can be." My dad was very moved: "Vivian, you're really lucky. Being with me means you get such a well-behaved, sensible daughter." I felt Aunt Vivian's arms stiffen slightly around me. Then my dad continued: "Vivian, I hope that after we get married, you'll get your tubes tied. I am absolutely forbidding you from having any children. I only have one daughter, and I don't want anyone making her feel unwanted or second best." I was so moved. This was my dad. My dad added: "Of course, I'll get a vasectomy too." Aunt Vivian completely froze: "You never plan on having any more kids?" My dad looked at me lovingly: "Yes. I have Dumpling. No matter if we had a son or another daughter, she would feel slighted, and I can't bear that." My dad then said: "By the way, I hope the structure of our family doesn't change too much. When Sarah was here, she was a full-time stay-at-home mom." Speaking of my mom, my dad's brows furrowed deeply, though he quickly masked it. Obviously, he wasn't very satisfied with my mom's parenting performance. My dad smiled and praised my mom: "Look at how well she raised little Dumpling. Vivian, I hope that after we get married, you won't work either and just focus on taking care of Dumpling. Also, you should get some certifications first—maybe in child psychology and pediatric nursing. You need to be even more familiar with Dumpling's coursework than she is so you can tutor her." My dad looked at Aunt Vivian encouragingly: "I know you're incredibly smart and capable of learning anything. You'll definitely excel at this. And, of course, I'll give you a monthly allowance." My dad had also demanded my mom get certifications and tutor me in piano, horseback riding, golf, English, French, and Spanish. My mom had told him to screw off. Aunt Vivian's face was stiff, and she said she needed to go to the restroom. When she came back, she was a new woman. She nodded and said: "I will do my best. For you, Hudson, I'm willing to do anything." My dad said: "Our family of three is going to be incredibly happy." Me: "..." 13 My parents' divorce was turning into a massive spectacle. They would negotiate for 5 minutes every day, and then spend the next hour screaming at each other. Sometimes I would sit nearby and watch, even playing the piano for them. When they were calm, I'd play "Mariage d'Amour." When they started arguing, I'd play "Croatian Rhapsody." I couldn't participate in their fights, but I could provide the soundtrack. We were a family, so we should do things together. Including fighting. My kindergarten teacher asked us to draw a picture of our family. I drew three families on one piece of paper. They were all my family. My mom, Mr. Stone, and me. My dad, my mom, and me. My dad, Aunt Vivian, and me. If you did the math on the permutations and combinations, Mr. Stone and Aunt Vivian could also give me a family. I fell into deep thought. My drawing won the "Most Creative Award," and then my parents were called into the school for a very long talk with the teacher. Afterward, the teacher hugged me and said: "You've suffered so much, sweetie. If you ever feel unwanted in the future, come to me. I'll give you a home." Me: "...Thank you, Mrs. Smith." 14 My parents' divorce was going to court. They wanted a judge to make the most impartial ruling. In the courtroom, I sat in the gallery. Because they wouldn't let me sit next to the other person, fearing it would influence the judge's decision. My mom cried bitterly, talking about how hard her life had been, what a scumbag my dad was, and how she was essentially a single mother raising me alone. My dad also started wiping his eyes, talking about how promiscuous my mom was, how she constantly cheated, and he even brought out the notebooks he kept on how to raise a child. My mom pulled out her ultimate move, declaring she would have her uterus removed, swearing she would only ever have me as a child, and begging the judge to grant her custody. My dad pulled out a pair of scissors. The judge jumped in shock, almost diving under the desk. The judge said: "Sir, please calm down." My dad stood up, glaring viciously at my mom: "Sarah, you crazy bitch! Watch me! I'll castrate myself right now! I will only ever have Dumpling in this lifetime too!" Saying that, my dad raised the scissors, aiming at his crotch... 15 My mom wasn't going to be outdone. Unable to find a prop, she dragged Mr. Stone forward. She immediately declared: "Your Honor, since I plan on marrying him, I can't prove my determination to you right now, but my future husband can!" After saying that, she looked expectantly at Mr. Stone. The judge's eyes widened in horror, staring at Mr. Stone. Everyone was staring at Mr. Stone. He squeezed his eyes shut and said: "If he castrates himself first, I will too." My dad immediately froze. He pulled Aunt Vivian up. He told the judge: "Your Honor, this is my future wife, and she is also willing to have her uterus removed!" The judge's face was a picture of pure, utter confusion. My dad nudged Aunt Vivian, prompting her to state her position. Aunt Vivian closed her eyes too: "I am also willing." I watched them seriously. These were my family members. Eventually, the bailiffs had to intervene to prevent a bloodbath in the courtroom. 16 My parents, Mr. Stone, and Aunt Vivian agreed to all go to the hospital together tomorrow. Whoever didn't show up would be admitting defeat. I felt very excited. I looked up at this group of adults with genuine admiration. They were all so cool! My parents were supposed to drive me home. Whenever we went out as a family, we always took the Toyota Sienna minivan. After I climbed in, my mom said to Mr. Stone: "Arthur, come home with me. Spend some time with little Dumpling so she gets used to you." My dad immediately countered: "Vivian, you come back with me too." And so, they both got in the car. The silence in the car was terrifying. The driver kept glancing nervously in the rearview mirror. I sat in the back, lowered the tray table, and started doing my homework. I really envied adults. They got to spend all day talking about love and romance, and they never had to do homework. 17 Mr. Stone had a month-long leave this time. So he just moved straight into our house. Aunt Vivian wasn't working, so she moved in too. I was thrilled. The house was full of people and lively. Mr. Stone had to "talk" with my dad. Aunt Vivian had to "talk" with my mom. I was in the study taking my French lesson. When my lesson was over and I went downstairs, they were already in a full-blown brawl. My grandma happened to walk in at that exact moment. She almost fainted from anger, screaming: "What are you doing! Stop it right now!" My mom's hair was a rat's nest, and Aunt Vivian had a massive handprint on her face. My dad had a bruise on his jaw. Mr. Stone had been shielding my mom, so he wasn't hurt. Truly living up to his reputation as an elite soldier! 18 My grandma was absolutely furious. Upon hearing that the two "guests" in the house were my parents' future spouses, she practically passed out again. That afternoon, my grandma brought a woman to our house, announcing this was the new wife she had chosen for my dad. My mom, applying lipstick nearby, glanced over and said: "Take a seat. There are two people ahead of you in line. Number one hasn't divorced him yet, and number two is waiting in the wings." The woman said directly: "It doesn't matter. I can compete for the position. I heard things are pretty straightforward here, so let's cut to the chase. What are the requirements?" Aunt Vivian, sipping tea nearby, said breezily: "Women have to get their uterus removed, and men have to castrate themselves." The woman's mouth twitched: "You're all psychos." And she ran away. My grandma was livid. She dragged me into my room. She started badmouthing my mom again: "Little Dumpling, when your parents divorce, you absolutely must not go with your mom. Once she gets a new husband, she won't love you anymore. She'll have her own new kids." I said: "My mom said she's only ever having me. She's going to get her uterus removed." I looked at my grandma and continued: "And my dad is going to castrate himself!" My grandma clutched her chest. This time, she searched my room frantically for a long time, finally grabbing a heavy French dictionary, and charged out. I excitedly chased after her.
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