The day before I was supposed to meet my online boyfriend for the first time, I heard my stepbrother on the phone. When I heard the deep, raspy voice coming from the bathroom—the exact same voice I was hearing through my phone—I completely lost it! Are you telling me... My stepbrother, who usually treats me like I don't exist, is the guy I've been dating online?! Consumed by guilt, I sent a dramatic breakup text: [Baby, I love you.] [But I'm sick. Death is coming for me faster than our meeting date.] [Forget about me. I wish you the best.] 1 During my freshman year of college, I started an online, long-distance relationship with a guy I met in a video game. We dated for six months. We didn't really have a time difference, so our schedules synced up perfectly. Plus, we were both college students close in age, so we just kept talking. When I found out he was graduating this year and moving back to the States to work, and since we both agreed we wanted to take the relationship to the next level, we decided to finally meet in person after my final exams. The day before we were supposed to meet, I came home from campus, planning to get a good night's sleep and look my absolute best for our date tomorrow. But when I went to look for the bathroom to take a shower, I made a horrifying discovery. My stepbrother, who usually treats me like I don't exist, was my online boyfriend! Here is exactly how it went down: I was on a voice call with my online boyfriend while carrying my clothes to the hallway bathroom to take a shower. This was my stepdad's house. A year ago, my mom remarried and brought me here. They gave me a large guest bedroom. It didn't have an en-suite bathroom, but otherwise, it was great. I knew my stepdad had a son who lived abroad and rarely came home. Plus, college was demanding, so I didn't come home often either. My relationship with my stepbrother was cold and distant. We had zero overlap and had probably only seen each other once or twice. I honestly thought we would just keep ignoring each other forever. Until I heard his voice in the hallway bathroom. He had just returned from overseas a few days ago. The water heater in his en-suite bathroom had an issue because the room hadn't been used in so long. So, for the past few days, he had been using the hallway bathroom to shower. I didn't expect to run right into him the moment I got home. I waited outside the door for a bit, chatting idly with my online boyfriend. My online boyfriend was calling me while he was taking a shower. I heard the sound of running water from both sides—through the phone and through the door—and a sliver of doubt crossed my mind. But I was quickly distracted by what my online boyfriend was saying. Online Boyfriend: "Baby, want to see my abs?" The sound of the water was mixed with his voice. It sounded like my stepbrother was also on the phone in the bathroom. I didn't think much of it. "You want to video call?" We had been talking for six months. Other than voice chatting while gaming and falling asleep on the phone together, we hadn't taken things any further. We hadn't even exchanged pictures or video called. I didn't even know his real name. I only knew his screen name, Vincent. I used a screen name too—Annie. We had an unspoken agreement not to bring up our families. We both just wanted to find a soulmate on the internet, nothing more. But now that our real-life meeting was approaching, I had been nervous ever since we set the date. My hand subconsciously tightened around my cold phone. I absentmindedly pulled at my shirt, trying to make it look like an "accidental" slip of the shoulder. I was actually ready for this. He noticed my nervousness through the phone and chuckled. "Don't worry. I won't break the rules before we meet." We had agreed from the start not to look at each other's faces before meeting in person. Me: "..." You really don't have to be such a rule-follower. Him: "I just remembered you sending me those TikToks. You seem to really like abs." "I happen to have some. I'll let you take a peek first." "I'm trying to earn some bonus points for tomorrow." Don't let my good-girl act in real life fool you. On the internet, I'm a menace. I'm used to talking a big game. For example: "The sun is so bright today, almost as bright as you..." "My canine teeth are a little sharp, you'll have to endure it..." "If I leave my phone plugged in all night, will the charger get tired?" I had a million lines like that. But he was usually very reserved, so I didn't expect him to be so forward today. I naturally wasn't going to turn him down. "Let's see 'em!" "If you show me your abs tonight, I'll show you something else tomorrow." "I'm ready to go three hundred rounds." His deep voice came through the sound of the running water, sounding like it was right next to my ear. "Baby, you better not just be talking a big game. I can go all night." I kept up the bravado. "Who's scared of who?" "I'm going to rock your world." His laughter grew louder and clearer. I subconsciously took out one of my AirPods and pressed my ear against the bathroom door. My stepbrother inside the bathroom was laughing too. A very bad feeling started creeping into my chest. The next second, my online boyfriend decisively sent a photo of his wet abs. The eight-pack was well-defined, glistening with water droplets. The water trailed down his sexy V-line, and further down... well, that was probably reserved for tomorrow's programming. My mouth instantly went dry. But the longer I looked at the bathroom tiles in the background of the photo, the more familiar they looked. As I was deep in thought, I heard my online boyfriend say: "How is it? Do you like what you see?" I had one AirPod in, listening to the phone, and my other ear pressed against the bathroom door. The voices from both sides... why did they sound exactly the same? The sound of the water slowly stopped. My eyelid twitched violently. I held my breath and listened closely. The guy on the other end deliberately lowered his voice into a raspy whisper. "Baby, why aren't you saying anything?" The voice in my ear and the voice I was hearing live were exactly the same words, exactly the same voice. No way. What are the odds? Is the universe playing a joke on me? Oh my god! I made him say a few more things just to confirm that both voices belonged to the same person. My heated mood felt like it had been doused in ice water. It was like a bolt of lightning from a clear sky. I drifted back to my room like a ghost, struggling to accept the fact that my online boyfriend had suddenly transformed into my stepbrother. I guess calling him "Daddy" online had really manifested some family ties. When I didn't say anything for a long time, my online boyfriend asked: "Did my photo leave you speechless?" I mumbled a few incoherent responses. "Babe, I'm getting a little sleepy." He was in a great mood, giving a low chuckle. "Go to sleep early, baby. When we wake up tomorrow, we'll finally see each other." I hung up the phone and stared at the ceiling, a million emotions swirling inside me. ...I don't think we'll be seeing each other. Common sense and basic morality dictated that a stepbrother and stepsister dating was probably a bad idea. Plus, he already hated me and my mom for moving into his dad's house. If he found out I was his online girlfriend, he'd probably think I deliberately seduced him to get my hands on his family's money. I tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep. I was anxious, heartbroken, miserable, and tormented. Finally, I steeled my resolve and sent a dramatic breakup text: [Baby, I love you.] [But I'm sick. Death is coming for me faster than our meeting date.] [Forget about me. I wish you the best.] After sending that triple-threat combo, I pulled the covers over my head and cried my eyes out. Mourning my dead romance. 2 I didn't sleep a wink. Sporting two massive dark circles under my eyes, I heard movement outside my door early the next morning. My room was right next to the stairs. If my stepbrother, Lucas Vance, wanted to go downstairs, he had to pass my door. Hearing the noise, I whipped my door open. It was indeed Lucas. I forced a dry greeting, "Hi, Lucas. Heading out so early?" Lucas glanced over, gave a dismissive nod, clearly not wanting to talk to me. He was dressed to the nines today, looking incredibly handsome. But no matter how he dressed, he couldn't hide the dark circles under his eyes, which were heavily bloodshot. A grown man... he couldn't have actually been crying, right? And this early? I already texted him saying we weren't meeting. Where was he going? Where could he possibly go? I went back to my room to grab my phone, just in time to see a message he had sent to my burner account. [I will wait for you. No matter how long it takes.] It was the dead of winter, and it was snowing outside. I couldn't just let it go, so I secretly followed him. Lucas went to the arcade and the movie theater we had agreed to go to. He was doing all the things we planned to do together, just by himself. Finally, I followed him to the romantic restaurant we had booked for dinner. On the table was the candlelit dinner he had ordered in advance. There was a violinist playing nearby. According to the plan, we would be eating, confessing our feelings, and being all lovey-dovey right now. Just as my heart was a tangled mess of conflicting emotions, a waiter walked over holding a very familiar gift box. My eyes widened. I recognized that box. I had wrapped it myself a few days ago. Oh crap! I forgot about that! That was the gift I had prepared a few days ago and sent to the restaurant ahead of time as a surprise for him. He froze for a second. When he took the gift box, the emotions he had been holding back completely shattered. A single tear unexpectedly fell from his eye. Then, a string of large teardrops hit the table. His eyes were red and wet, his expression broken, and his body trembled slightly... I hid in the distance, so shocked my jaw almost hit the floor. No way. You're making me look like a heartless monster right now. 3 As a heartless monster, I sadly slept for three days straight. But I heard Lucas hadn't slept in almost three days. My mom burst into my room bright and early. "Sleep, sleep, sleep! That's all you do all day!" "It's already noon, and you're still not out of bed." In my groggy state, I heard her aggressively pull open the curtains and turn off the heater. I checked my phone. It was only 10 AM. "Mom..." I've been in a bad mood these past few days. What's wrong with sleeping a little extra? My mom plopped down on the bed, looking at me like I was a disappointment. "You're the only one in this house still sleeping. I'd be better off raising a dog than raising you!" I replied weakly, "Then you better hurry up and get a dog." My mom: "?" "If you get one now, it can take care of you when you're old." My mom anticipated my reaction. When I jumped up to dodge her slap, her other hand was already waiting and landed squarely on my arm. "Get your butt out of bed right now!" "While your stepdad is annoyed with Lucas, you need to step up and show him what you can do! After you graduate, you can go straight into Vance Corp., and he can set you up with a good position." My mom was furious at my lack of ambition, and to be fair, I really didn't have any. My first priority was gossip. "What's wrong with Lucas?" My mom, playing the role of a "qualified" stepmom perfectly, said, "I don't know what kind of trauma he went through." "A few days after he got back, he started carrying this ratty box everywhere he goes." Me: "..." Mom, if my guess is correct, that's the box of chocolate cookies your daughter personally baked. "Your stepdad asked him to go into the office, but he refused. He just mopes around all day, looking like a zombie." "If I didn't know better, I'd think he was carrying an urn around." Mom, you can't say things like that. I rubbed my arms, feeling a chill in my bones. At lunch, my mom put on an act and told me to go call Lucas down to eat. "Maya, go tell your brother it's time for lunch." I went upstairs and knocked on the door for a long time before Lucas reluctantly opened it. He was holding the urn—I mean, the chocolate box I gave him. I felt too guilty to look him in the eye, so I stared at my feet. "Arthur says it's time to eat." Lucas responded by slamming the door in my face. He had always been cold and hostile toward me and my mom, treating us like we were just mooching off his dad. I took the rejection and slinked back downstairs. My mom asked, "What happened? Is he still refusing to eat?" Her expression of deep concern was a complete 180 from her wicked-stepmom routine this morning. "A man needs to eat. He can't keep this up." Arthur scoffed, "Ignore him! He's a grown man. I refuse to believe he'll starve himself to death!" The more Arthur thought about it, the angrier he got. "That brat! I know he's unhappy that I told him to come back and work at the company." No response. He yelled louder. "Does he really think I have to rely solely on him?!" "I'm remarried now, and I have a daughter! If he won't do it, someone else will!" Honestly, I didn't want to do it either. I just wanted to be a happy couch potato. I turned and saw my mom grinning so hard she could barely close her mouth. "Don't be mad, Arthur. Maya definitely won't let you down." Mom, I'm useless! "Lucas just got back. Don't push him too hard. If he really doesn't want to do it, Maya and I will always be here to support you." Mom, please dial back your ambition a little. I'm afraid you're going to start cackling out loud. 4 It was almost Christmas, and Arthur's son was back. The house should have been filled with joy. But because of the heartbroken, depressed Lucas, Arthur—who didn't know the truth—was angry, and I—who knew the truth—was living in agony, suffering every single second. Only my mom was living her best life. I counted the days on my fingers. My desire to go back to college reached an all-time high. Finally, it was almost time for the new semester to start. But during dinner one night, Lucas suddenly announced, "After the holidays, I'm going to take a teaching position at NYU." Arthur, who had been planning for his son to join the company, stopped mid-chew. He looked at his son in disbelief. "What did you just say?" We all silently wondered if we had misheard. Lucas repeated it. This time, all three of us heard it loud and clear. Arthur was older, so his reaction was a bit slow. My mom couldn't suppress the corners of her mouth turning up. As for me, the sky was falling. NYU? Isn't that the university I go to? Could this be the surprise Vincent mentioned he was preparing for me before he came back? Arthur asked, "Are you going to teach from now on?" Lucas gave a rare explanation: "The foreign language professor at NYU was my mentor when I studied in Malaysia. She's about to go on maternity leave, so she recommended me to the university. She asked me to fill in for a semester." I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness it was only one semester. Arthur also seemed relieved. "It's good for you to come back and adjust for a bit." One semester is only six months. As long as he wasn't planning on teaching forever and it didn't affect him taking over the company later, Arthur wouldn't object too much. When my mom heard this, her smile instantly vanished. Arthur looked pleased. "What a coincidence. Your sister, Maya, also goes to NYU. You guys will be at the same school." I wasn't naive enough to think this was a coincidence. "When you leave, just take Maya with you. It's on the way." Lucas's gaze instantly locked onto me. Usually, this stepbrother of mine was cold and distant, practically treating me like air. It was rare for him to spare me a glance. Even though I didn't want it. For no reason at all, I felt guilty and panicked. Lucas asked, "Maya goes to NYU too?" I kept my head down, shoveling rice into my mouth, pretending to be very busy. "Mmhmm." My mom kicked me under the table and scolded me with her eyes. I knew exactly what she meant: [Eat, eat, eat! That's all you know how to do!] [He's asking you a question, act presentable! Stop embarrassing us!] Motherly love runs deep, but her expectations are brutal. I decided to play dead until the end! My mom answered for me: "Yes, Maya is majoring in English at NYU." Lucas said, "That really is a coincidence. The mentor I'm filling in for teaches in the English department." His online girlfriend was also an English major. If I had known, I wouldn't have said so much. Why did I tell him my major and my university? I hate myself! Why didn't I just tell him my real name and family situation early on? Then none of this would have happened. I was deeply regretting my life choices. Although it was hard for Lucas to hear that his online girlfriend was terminally ill, the person who knew the truth was suffering even more. After dinner, I went back to my room and saw the messages Lucas had sent me. He had been trying to send his online girlfriend money through WeChat over the past few days, but I hadn't replied or accepted any of it. Lucas: [Before the semester starts in a few days, I'm going to take a teaching position at NYU's English department.] [I originally wanted to surprise you.] I guessed right. [You told me you envied the couples holding hands and walking around campus.] His tone was pleading. [No matter what, can you just let me see you one time?] [Even if it's for the last time.] [I know you're sick, but money isn't an issue.] [If you're willing, I can contact the best doctors to treat you. I just want to see you.] It was all my fault for being soft-hearted back then. I was afraid he wouldn't be able to handle it, so I didn't just tell him I died. Now, I was giving him false hope. I gritted my teeth, lying as easily as breathing. [I dropped out.] Compared to how excited I was for the semester to start a few days ago, my desire to drop out was now at an all-time high. [It's terminal. Incurable.] [Don't come looking for me.] [Our destiny ends here.] 5 After I dropped those harsh words, he actually went quiet for two days. But on the third day, when Lucas was driving me to NYU, he suddenly asked, "Do you know a girl named Annie in your major?" Annie, Annie... my English name is Annie! My heart leaped into my throat again. Dude, are you still not giving up? I played dumb. "Annie... I don't think I've heard of her." "What's wrong, Lucas?" "Why don't you tell me a little more about her? I can help you look." I offered some fake politeness. Lucas didn't hold back: "She's also a freshman. English major. She has long, dark, shiny hair, big beautiful eyes, fair skin, tall and slender build, and a fiery, passionate personality..." Wait, I just said those things casually back then, and he remembered them perfectly to this day? My palms were sweating. Other than the "fiery, passionate" part, everything else matched me pretty well. If he paid even a little attention to me, he'd probably realize I fit his description perfectly. Thank goodness he never paid any attention to his cheap stepsister. Thank goodness I always acted like a good, quiet girl. As soon as I got back to campus today, I was going to cut off my long hair! I was going to throw away all my two-inch heels and wear flat shoes! Me: "Did you need to find her for something, Lucas?" Lucas: "Yeah. She's someone very important in my life." Someone important in his life? My conscience suddenly started gnawing at me. Arthur had told me his son was cold and had no interest in women. I didn't expect him to be such a hopeless romantic when he actually fell for someone. Me: "If she's so important, why don't you just contact her directly?" Lucas's voice choked up: "She's sick and doesn't want to see me." Me: "Oh my god, how did she get sick?" I put on an exaggeratedly shocked expression. "I think I understand why she doesn't want to see you." "Girls are self-conscious. When we're sick, we don't look our best. If it's a terminal illness, she'll probably lose her hair and stuff. She definitely wouldn't want the person she loves to see her like that." Lucas looked over at me while we were stopped at a red light. I bit the bullet and tried to counsel him: "I think you should respect the patient's wishes, Lucas. She probably just doesn't want to make you sad..." Please stop looking for me! Just pretend I'm dead! Wait, no, no, Grim Reaper, I'm just joking! Please don't actually take me! Sitting in Lucas's car felt like sitting on pins and needles. After an agonizing half hour, we finally arrived at my dorm. School had just started. Families weren't allowed inside, so they could only drop students off at the building entrance. As soon as I got out of the car, I ran into my roommate, Jenna, who came running over enthusiastically. "Maya!" "Did your boyfriend drop you off?" Lucas was getting my luggage out of the trunk for me. I quickly slapped my hand over Jenna's mouth. My roommates all knew about my long-distance online relationship, and I couldn't let her spill the beans. "No, he's my brother. Lucas." Jenna: "Oh, oh!" Lucas handed me my luggage and asked, "Are all the English majors in this building?" I gave a vague "Mmhmm," then grabbed my luggage with one hand and Jenna with the other, sprinting into the dorm. Jenna was dragged inside, completely confused. "Maya, is your stepbrother a monster or something? Why are you so scared of him?" During our late-night dorm chats, I had mentioned my family background. When my roommates heard his last name was Vance, they knew he was from my stepdad's side. I quickly drank some water to calm my nerves. "Lucas Vance... why does that name sound so familiar?" Jenna suddenly remembered something, pulled out her phone, and checked our class schedule. "Holy crap, is your stepbrother the Lucas Vance?" I looked too. The name for our English specialized course had changed from the pregnant foreign professor to "Lucas Vance." "Yeah, that's him. He's our substitute professor for this semester." Jenna: "..." A professor. That was definitely monster territory. "What kind of person is your stepbrother? Is he easy to get along with?" I shook my head. Jenna: "Never mind, let's drop it." "By the way, Maya, we haven't properly congratulated you on getting a boyfriend yet!" She winked at me. The other roommates, who were busy doing their own things, immediately dropped what they were doing and gathered around. "As the first person in our dorm to get a boyfriend, don't you owe us a big meal?" According to the plan, yes. But plans change. "Don't mention it. The online dating thing was a disaster." I let out a long sigh. "Sorry to disappoint you guys, but our dorm remains the Forever Single Dorm." Roommates: "What happened?!" "Did he turn out to be a jerk?" I shook my head. Jenna: "Was Vincent just too ugly? Did you feel like you couldn't kiss him?" "I told you, online dating without seeing pictures or video calling is super risky!" I agreed with the second sentence. But the first sentence... Lucas had deep-set eyes, a high-bridged nose, exquisite features, and a cold, ascetic vibe. He had inherited great genes. If it weren't for his identity, I would have thrown myself at him. Why let a perfectly good handsome guy go to waste? It was a shame. Jenna could tell I was feeling down and offered a word of comfort: "It's fine. Out with the old, in with the new. He's just a guy. No need to let him break your heart like this." The situation was too dramatic. I didn't tell my roommates the truth. In reality, I was the one who broke the guy's heart. "We can just find another one in a game! It'll be a piece of cake for our resident flirt, Maya!" I met Vincent while playing a game. By chance, I teamed up with him in League of Legends. I saw that he was really good, and I wanted to rank up, so I proactively added him as a friend and asked him to play with me every day. We just played and played until feelings developed. At first, Vincent was very aloof. He was an aloof jungler who didn't say a single word the entire game, just coolly carrying the team to victory. I instantly imagined a handsome guy in my head, and then I fell head over heels for the fantasy I had created. I shamelessly started pursuing Vincent. It took a long time to melt his iceberg of a heart. I originally thought that finally getting to meet Vincent in person was a blessing from God, but I didn't expect it to be a punishment. I had learned my lesson. I wouldn't dare flirt with guys in games ever again. I reflected on my past mistakes and decided to focus on my studies. Before, when I was pursuing Vincent, I learned he was studying abroad. I often shamelessly asked him to tutor me in English and speaking. I was constantly mesmerized by his clear, authentic British accent. My mind would wander, my lust would take over, my legs would tingle... Without Vincent's English tutoring, I'd have to rely on myself from now on.
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