I was officially dating the sweetest "puppy dog" boyfriend online. Every day, without fail, he’d send me photos of his abs. He was perfect. But the day before we were supposed to meet in person for the first time, he suddenly bailed. [Baby, I got jumped. It’s bad. Sobbing.] [My face is a mess. I can’t let you see me like this right now.] My heart completely broke for him. [Baby, who did this to you? What kind of animal puts their hands on you? Tell me who, and I swear I will end them!] His reply came instantly: [Julian Vance. St. Jude’s Hospital, Room 312.] I stared at the screen, and the metaphorical forty-foot blade I was ready to wield dropped from my hands. …Because I am Julian Vance. And just this afternoon, I had absolutely pulverized my insufferable stepbrother. 01 My phone buzzed. It was a message from my online boyfriend. [Baby, show me some skin.] I glanced at the screen, my ears heating up instantly. Is this guy crazy? It’s the middle of the day. I typed back: [Honey, I’m in my dorm room.] Y: [I don’t care. I’m having the worst day. I have to deal with two people I absolutely loathe in a few minutes.] [Baby.] [Pity party GIF.] Fine. I guess I have to spoil him. Luckily, my three roommates had just walked out. I locked the door, scrambled onto my bed, and started a video call. I didn't show my face. Just... skin. … By the time we ended the call, I was drenched in sweat. I took a quick shower and headed straight for the Waterside Estate. Talk about ironies—I also had to deal with someone I absolutely loathed today. My stepbrother, who had never once looked me in the eye since day one. A year ago, after my mom remarried, we moved into my stepfather’s mansion in Waterside. I came back once a week for mandatory family dinner. And to inevitably run into Elias, my stepbrother. Today was no exception. As soon as I walked through the door, I saw him leaning back on the sofa, scrolling through his phone. He looked up and spared me a glance. His expression was anything but friendly. He had a shock of dyed blonde hair. If you didn't know better, you’d think we owned a golden retriever that knew how to use a smartphone. My mom and stepdad, Arthur, were in the kitchen doing the cooking themselves. I let out a quiet scoff and sat down as far away from Elias as humanly possible. I pulled out my phone to reply to my boyfriend. Y: [Baby, I miss you so much~] [Being in the same room as someone I despise is actual torture.] I typed: [Tell me about it. I’m living that reality right now.] [Just looking at him makes me lose my appetite for dinner.] Y: [Ab shot photo.] [Don’t look at him, baby. Look at me.] Ugh, this look-but-don’t-touch thing is killing me. We’d been together for months but still hadn't met up. Originally, we agreed to meet as soon as the semester started. Then he claimed he was too tan after basic training. Then he complained that some murderous barber completely ruined his hair. He definitely had a massive ego. Regardless, tomorrow was finally the day. We were actually going to meet. My mood immediately lifted. Even the insufferable blonde across from me didn't seem quite as annoying. Mom brought the food out, and Elias and I shoved our phones away at the same time. I happened to glance at him, and the faint smirk that had been on his face instantly vanished. Me: “…” What a psycho. 02 At the dinner table, Mom and Arthur did most of the talking. Elias and I remained completely silent. We only spoke when absolutely forced to. The meal tasted like cardboard. After dinner, Arthur had an emergency at work and had to head back to the office. I was planning on leaving immediately, but Mom made me stay. Later that night, she brought a glass of warm milk to Elias. Elias didn't take it. "How do I know you haven't poisoned it? Trying to kill me off so your son can inherit my dad’s money?" My temper instantly flared. "Elias, take the milk or don't, but watch your tone. Show some respect." Elias turned to me, his expression dead. "What? Did I say something wrong?" "You think being a homewrecker and breaking up a family gives you moral ground?" I lunged and slammed a fist directly into Elias’s face. He tried to swing back. But I’d been training in boxing since I was a kid. I sidestepped, grabbed his wrist, and twisted it behind his back. "Apologize!" I spat, getting right in his face. He winced in pain, gritting his teeth, refusing to say a word. Mom started pleading, "Julian! Let him go!" I reluctantly released my grip. Elias had a toxic mouth and a rebellious streak. He always assumed I was after his father’s fortune. He always thought my mother had destroyed his parents' marriage. Every time I wanted to teach him a lesson with my fists, I held back because of my mom. She genuinely loved Arthur. I didn't want to make things hard for her. But today, I couldn't take it anymore. Unexpectedly, the second I let go, Elias took advantage of the opening and landed a solid punch right on my nose. I didn't have time to dodge. Son of a bitch. Just as I was about to retaliate and pulverize him, Arthur walked back in. Fuming, I grabbed my keys and went back to my dorm, refusing to stay another minute at the mansion. Mom sent me a novel’s worth of weary, pleading texts. I understood her position. I really did. But I was still furious. That animal Elias hit pretty hard. My nose was killing me. Back in the dorm, my roommate, Logan, looked at me in shock. "Holy shit. Your brother do that?" I gritted my teeth. "He did. But I don't have a brother." Logan teased, "Don't you usually make your online sweetheart call you 'Big Daddy'?" I glared at him, pulled out my phone, and said, "Don't compare Elias to my baby. I need to get some sympathy from the one person who actually cares about me." I opened messages, and he had already sent several texts and a photo. The photo only showed his profile. His lip was cut and swollen. [Baby, I got jumped. It’s bad. Sobbing.] [My face is a mess. I can’t let you see me like this right now.] Why is today such a clusterfuck? Both me and my baby got beaten up. My heart completely broke for him: [Baby, who did this to you? What kind of animal puts their hands on you? Tell me who, and I swear I will end them!] Y: [Julian Vance. St. Jude’s Hospital, Room 312.] 03 I froze. My entire body turned to ice. I turned my phone off, then unlocked it again. I rubbed my eyes hard. I pinched my thigh as hard as I could. It hurt like hell. I wasn't dreaming. I hadn't misread it. My baby was saying I was the one who beat him up. A million things flashed through my mind at once. My baby is a freshman at St. Jude’s. Elias is a freshman at St. Jude’s. My baby’s username is Y. Elias’s last name is Yale. At this point, I had to face a brutal reality. My online boyfriend was Elias Yale. In the dorm room, I let out a gut-wrenching, agonizing roar: "FUCK!" Logan ripped his bed curtains open in terror. "What is wrong with you?!" I waved a hand at him, looking like I’d just welcomed death. Then, I let out a squeal like a terrified gopher. Just thinking about the fact that I’d been calling Elias "baby" every day. Thinking about Elias calling me "darling" and "hubby." Thinking about the video calls we had… where we both showed… things. To each other. I wanted to die. I actively wanted the ground to swallow me whole. No wonder I thought his voice sounded familiar the first time I met him. But at the time, I’d dismissed the possibility that he was my online boyfriend within a fraction of a second. That guy always had a frozen, resting-bitch-face, like the whole world owed him money. How could he possibly be my sweet, obedient, "puppy dog" baby? In this moment, I regretted everything. I should have been more suspicious. Every time I went back to Waterside, I complained to "Y" about my awful stepbrother. We both knew the other person had someone they absolutely despised in real life. Who would have guessed the despised person was... us? I was in absolute agony, and I couldn't tell a soul. I didn't sleep a wink. I scrolled through my entire chat history with Elias. It was a mess of emotions. How could my perfect baby be Elias? After a night of torture, I came to a decision. Since we hadn't met up yet, I needed to make a clean break. Now. Run! I texted Elias, telling him I’d suddenly met someone in person at school that I really liked. Then I broke up with him. I blocked him and deleted his contact immediately. My heart felt completely hollow. Online dating is a curse! I am never doing this again as long as I live. Over winter break, I was on my Xbox, trying to rank up in Call of Duty. I was in a 1v1 matchup against another player in the same tier. The other guy kept calling in teammates for help. He was beating me, and I was getting pissed. After the match ended, I invited him to a private 1v1 duel. I absolutely annihilated him. Finally, I felt a sense of release. He sent a friend request. We started playing Doubles together frequently. After talking for a while, it became clear we both... leaned the same way. He was three years younger than me and started calling me "Daddy." I was completely whipped. One thing led to another, we set up "partner" tags in-game, bought matching skins. We started dating. Knowing he was coming to St. Jude’s as a freshman, becoming my schoolmate... I was so excited I couldn't sleep that entire night. Thank god he had such a massive ego back then, so we never met up. Otherwise, I can’t even imagine that scene. It would have been pure hell. 04 I spent the entire next day asleep in my dorm room. I woke up in the late afternoon to a call from my mom. "Your stepdad called Elias into his study early this morning. They talked for hours." "Then, Elias came out and gave me a very awkward, stiff apology." "When you have some time, you should talk to him, too." I let out a sigh. "I have nothing to talk to him about." "As long as he doesn't say awful things to you, I’m fine with leaving him alone." Mom sighed on the other end. "I suppose that’s for the best." "I saw him sitting out in the garden alone this afternoon, crying. I’m afraid something terrible must have happened." "His eyes were swollen shut from crying." "I didn't dare ask him. When I tried to get him to eat, he said he wasn't hungry." I froze. Could this be because I broke up with him? After hanging up, I opened Snapchat and saw a dozen new friend requests from fake accounts. The accompanying messages were heartbreaking. [Darling, everything was fine yesterday. Why did you suddenly break up with me today?] [Did I do something wrong? Tell me, I’ll change. I’ll do anything.] [Please just accept my friend request so we can talk, okay?] [Baby, I’m in so much pain.] My heart twisted. I turned the phone off. How is this kid a completely different person online versus in real life? Monday, on my way to class, I ran right into Elias in the hallway. I scanned him. The cut on his lip still hadn't healed. His eyes were indeed swollen. He stared at me with an icy, dead expression. I quickly looked away. Frozen, my ass. If you knew who I was, I wonder if you’d still be acting like this. If I was a bad person, I could play you like a fiddle. For the next few days, I had zero appetite. Logan knew the whole story by now and kept sighing about "cruel fate." To distract myself, I dragged Logan to play basketball all afternoon. As dusk fell, we walked past the quad and saw a student band setting up for an open-mic night. We grabbed a random spot on the grass and sat down. Until I heard a voice I knew too well. "I’d like to dedicate this next song to someone at this school." The backing music started—it was "The Long and Winding Road" by The Beatles. Elias actually had a beautiful singing voice. It was deep and resonant. Very alluring. His pronunciation was perfect. Back when we were dating over the phone, I always made him sing for me. This was my favorite song. When he finished, the quad erupted in thunderous applause. Elias had already made a name for himself during freshman orientation with his looks. After this song, he’d probably double his admirers. Logan said, "I did some asking around. Elias has put out the word that he already has someone he likes." I buried my face in my knees and replied, "I don't want to know!" Elias was tireless, sending me friend requests from new accounts every day. [I sang a song for you at the quad open-mic tonight. Did you hear it?] [Baby, I think about you every single second of every day.] God, he’s annoying. The more I see it, the more annoyed I get. The more annoyed I get, the less I can sleep. 05 Luckily, Arthur and Mom were going away on another vacation. I didn't have to go back to Waterside and see Elias. I was hiding out in my dorm, playing video games, when I got a call from Arthur. His tone was strained. "Julian, can I ask you for a massive favor? Could you go check on Elias?" "He’s sick. He won't go to the hospital, and he’s just locked himself up in that apartment I got him near campus." After hanging up, I threw some clothes on and sprinted for Elias’s off-campus apartment building. I wasn't worried about him. I was simply doing Arthur a favor. I knocked on the door for a while, but got no answer. So I entered the code Arthur had given me. There were several empty beer cans on the coffee table in the living room. I pushed open the bedroom door. There was a large lump under the covers. I pulled the comforter back. Elias’s face was flushed dark red, and his forehead was drenched in sweat. His temperature was dangerously high. This kid is going to kill himself. I started running around, getting a thermometer, making him take some ibuprofen. Then I used a cool towel to wipe the sweat from his forehead. He was frowning deeply, like he was having a nightmare. He started talking in his sleep. "I was wrong." "Don't leave me." "Baby." He was clutching my hand with terrifying strength. My heart suddenly felt like it was being pricked by a needle. I used my other hand to gently pat the back of his hand and said softly, "I’m not leaving." Elias calmed down almost instantly. I stared at him closely. He actually looked pretty peaceful when he was asleep. He wouldn't let go of my hand, and I couldn't pry it loose without waking him. Before I knew it, I slumped against the edge of the bed and fell asleep, too. I woke up because my arm was completely numb. When I opened my eyes and tried to stretch, Elias was leaning against the headboard, watching me warily. Holy shit, you scared me. He asked, "What are you doing here?" Seeing his cold, distant demeanor again made me instantly furious. I snapped, "I'm here to take care of you, obviously." "Arthur was afraid you were going to burn your brains out." He looked slightly taken aback, and his tone softened a fraction. "Thank you." I let out a cold scoff and checked the time. 3:00 AM. I was sweaty and gross. I wanted to take a shower. Ten minutes later, I walked out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around my waist. Elias was leaning against the door frame like some kind of sentry. I almost jumped out of my skin. My hand slipped, and the towel dropped to the floor. Furious and mortified, I snapped, "What is wrong with you? Are you standing there just to give me a heart attack?" He stared at me, and his gaze suddenly darkened. I realized he was staring at my waist. Crap. I used to send him photos of my abs all the time. I had a mole on my collarbone and another one right on my lower back, in the small of my waist. I frantically grabbed the towel and wrapped myself up. Close call. Too close. 06 I slept in the guest room. The next morning, I took Elias’s temperature, and it was normal. I let out a sigh of relief, then turned to him. "I'm leaving." Elias called after me, looking like he was forcing himself to say something incredibly difficult: "Thank you again for taking care of me last night." "And... about what happened the other day. I'm sorry." "I shouldn't have said those things to your mother. I was wrong. I misunderstood her." I waved my hand and told him, "You're apologizing to the wrong person. Tell my mom." "I’ve already sent her an apology text." I replied, "Then we’re good. After all, I pulverized you." Elias: “…” He continued, "I used to think my dad abandoned my mom, but I just recently found out the truth. My mom abandoned my dad. And she abandoned me, too." "She moved abroad with another guy." "It feels like... I’m always being abandoned." Elias’s voice got quieter and quieter, looking utterly lost and dejected. My breathing hitched. I turned around and said, "Don't overthink it. Arthur loves you more than anything." "You just started your freshman year. Stop skipping classes, and stop drowning your sorrows in beer." Elias fell silent for a moment. I figured I’d successfully shut him up with my "dad lecture." Then, I heard him say, "Julian, I swear your voice sounds more and more familiar every time I hear it." My stomach dropped. I gave a forced, awkward laugh. "I have a generic voice." I fled the apartment as if it were on fire. I had just gotten to the bottom of the apartment building when my phone rang. Mom. "Julian, sweetie? You and Elias seem to be getting along a bit better?" "Arthur said Elias just asked him for your Snapchat username." I stopped dead in my tracks. My phone slipped from my hands and hit the pavement. I stood there, a total disaster. I only have one Snapchat account. I don’t have a burner. I told myself: You are dead. You are so dead. 07 I was wandering down the street like a zombie, trying to call an Uber. Then, I heard fast, urgent footsteps behind me. What will be, will be. Elias ran up to me, panting, staring at me in absolute disbelief. "Julian. It’s you." I turned around, forcing myself to look calm. "Yeah. It’s me. Disappointed? Trust me, the feeling is mutual." "So you can stop sending me friend requests now. I’m tired of blocking them." Just as I finished speaking, my car arrived. I scrambled into the backseat. For the next few days, my friend request page on Snapchat was finally quiet. I sat on my bed, staring at my phone. This was exactly what I wanted. I should have been happy. But my heart was thoroughly twisted in knots. See? Elias Yale hates Julian Vance. The only person he loved was that imaginary guy online. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Wait, what am I even angry about? Oh, I knew what I was angry about. The truth was, I still really loved my puppy dog baby. Even knowing he was Elias. Or to put it another way—I loved Elias. I couldn't stop looking at him. I was completely drawn to him. I walked down from the second floor of the mansion. The maid was in the kitchen cooking. Arthur and Mom were on the sofa, talking. I was planning to head back to school immediately. Arthur asked, "Julian, you aren't staying for dinner? Elias will be here in a few minutes." I used "urgent schoolwork" as an excuse and bolted out the door. Talk about bad timing. The second I walked out of the gate, I ran right into Elias. And the girl he’d been seen with at school this afternoon. He’s bringing her home to meet his dad? Things are moving that fast? I walked right past them, ignoring them completely. Elias called out, "Julian, where are you going?" I snapped, "None of your business!" I walked away as fast as I could. None of my roommates were back yet. I was alone in the dorm. I lay on my bed, my chest feeling tight. Am I officially heartbroken? I was deep in thought when I heard a knock on the door. I opened it. Elias. "Julian, your mom said you were in a terrible mood. What’s wrong?" I spat back, "Why aren't you with your girlfriend? Why are you here bothering me?" He looked confused. "I don’t have a girlfriend." "The girl I was with this afternoon? That’s my cousin. She’s my uncle’s daughter."
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