My twin sister was born autistic and seemingly simple-minded. By the time she was seven, she still hadn't spoken a single word. My father planned to marry her off as soon as she turned sixteen. I, on the other hand, carried the weight of high expectations and was meticulously groomed for success. Pitying my sister's situation, I would sneak around to play with her, enduring my father's scoldings and beatings, secretly vowing to save her. But when I turned eight, my sister suddenly got better. Not only could she speak fluently, but she also casually solved a math problem I had been agonizing over for a long time. My father, astounded, declared her a prodigy and decided to devote all his resources to her. And I fell into a state even more miserable than my sister's had been. "The family's resources must go entirely to the most gifted child. Chloe is just too average; marrying early and having kids is her true calling." "After the holidays, we'll send her off as a child bride." My father and mother had decided my fate. I was consumed with anxiety. The night before, my sister came to say goodbye. "Sister, I'm leaving. Please try to be happy." She said she was running away from home. In that instant, memories of a past life flooded my mind. After my sister left home alone, she met a tragic end. My parents treated me as a sinner, and my life became a living hell. "They all abandoned me. Are you going to throw me away too?" This time, I decided to make my sister stay, and I would be the one to leave. 1 "Mia, how did you solve this math problem?" I stared in shock at my expressionless sister, Mia. A minute ago, I had been holding my scratch paper, calculating the problem my father had assigned for the umpteenth time. I had agonized over it from early afternoon until dusk, but that crucial step always eluded me. Just as I was about to set it aside, Mia sneaked in to find me. "Sister, I want to play catch. Play with me." My naturally slow sister had recently started speaking. As her older sister, I was relieved and happy. Even at the risk of being scolded by my father, I promised to make time to play with her every day. I glanced outside; it was well past our usual agreed time. "But Mia, the most important thing right now is, how on earth did you solve this math problem?" My father favored smart children. Since I could remember, he made me memorize math formulas daily, saying only straight A's made me worthy of being his child and earning the right to inherit the family business. To avoid being discarded and to protect my sister, I studied like my life depended on it. While other kids goofed off and climbed trees, I recited textbooks. While Mia cuddled and acted spoiled in Mom's arms, I solved equations. Maybe I was just too stupid. I often couldn't get perfect scores on the assignments my father gave, and the extra-credit problems took me ages to solve. My father was never fully satisfied. Yet my sister, who had always been considered simple-minded, easily achieved what I found so difficult. "I looked at your textbook. I knew how to do these the second I saw them. Are they supposed to be hard?" Mia looked up, confused. I wanted to press her further, but she said, bored, "Sister, I'd rather play games with you than do math problems. Can we go outside now?" I was speechless. With complex feelings, I put down the paper and fulfilled my promise to play with Mia. As it got dark, we headed home. My father was waiting under the porch light, waving us over. "I made some custard. Come eat it before it gets cold." I was just about to thank him and ask if I could share half with Mia, but my father acted as if he didn't see me. He turned to Mia and said warmly: "Mia, I heard you solved the math problem I assigned in under a minute. You're so smart. You'll definitely bring honor to the family in the future." "I made this custard for you. Eat it while it's hot." Mia hesitated for a moment, then slowly stepped forward. Everything shifted into slow motion. My eyes widened as I watched my father shower my sister with boundless praise, and then look at me with... disgust. "Why are you still standing there? Do you want to eat your sister's food?" "You greedy, useless thing, get out!" My father's tone was impatient, as if my very presence was polluting his sight. Terrified of his anger, I quickly retreated and closed the door. Just before it shut completely, the sight of my father preparing to spoon-feed my sister made my limbs go stiff. Before, he only knew how to discipline me with a belt and rarely gave me a pleasant look, let alone such an intimate gesture. It seemed I had been discarded. 2 In the days that followed, my father grew visibly colder towards me. He no longer demanded I complete daily tasks, nor did he take time to test my knowledge. I had an abundance of time to just stare into space. At first, escaping the heavy burden of studying felt somewhat relaxing. But as time went on, the feeling of being completely ignored gnawed at my bones, making me restless. What truly drove me to despair was a conversation I overheard. "Chloe has such a strong personality. What will happen to her in the future?" My mother's timid voice was laced with worry. "The family's resources are limited. Funneling everything into the most gifted child is the optimal solution. Mia is exceptional and deserves our undivided attention. As for Chloe..." My father's tone was dismissive. "Does a normal kid like her really think she can compete with a genius? Marrying her off early so she can start a family is her true calling. If she can't measure up, she needs to accept her fate." "The mayor of the neighboring town quite likes her. Next year, we'll send her over as a child bride. We can use the dowry to hire another tutor for Mia." My father constantly spouted rhetoric about how the useless should make way. In the past, because of her condition, my sister was almost drowned at birth. After my mother barely saved her, it was decided she had to be married off as quickly as possible. Now that it was my turn, it seemed natural that I should accept the same fate. But. Why did it hurt so much? I had exhausted myself trying to gain his approval, sacrificing all my dignity, yet I was broken so easily. After reading all those books, my only destiny was to be cast out. "Mom, I don't want to leave you." The night I heard that conversation, I knocked on my mother's door. It took a long time before she let me in. Looking at my frail mother, who was forcing herself to maintain composure in front of me, I spoke dryly. She was silent for a good while. She seemed to be looking at me, but at the same time, looking right through me. "Your sister's talent is incredible. You must have seen it." I pursed my lips, a wave of panic washing over me. "Mom, I know I can't compare to Mia. Not in academics, and definitely not in being lovable." My father believed a doting mother raised a spoiled child, so he rarely let me near my sickly mother. Mia was the only one allowed by her side. I hadn't fulfilled my duty as a daughter. And now, I couldn't even beat Mia in solving equations. In every comparison with my sister, I felt like a defective product. "But Mom, even if I can't compete with Mia, I don't want to leave you. I don't want to be someone's child bride." I wanted to keep studying. The air in the room seemed to freeze. My mother's rigid posture slumped. She awkwardly wrapped an arm around me. "Chloe, I have no choice. Please don't make this harder for me. You've always been such an understanding child. I can't change your father's mind, and I can't alter his decisions. Don't make this difficult for me, please." My mother cried. Tears streamed down her pale chin, making my heart tremble. "Okay, I understand." I nodded, defeated. My mother's wrists were so thin. The doctor said she was very weak. I needed to be a good, trouble-free child. "Then Mom, could you give me a pendant just like the one Mia wears? The one you prayed for and got for her?" I thought, at the very least, I should take something meaningful with me. "I'm sorry." My mother cried again, apologizing through her tears. "It's all my fault for being useless. My health is too poor to go pray for another pendant for you. The one your sister wears, I got it a few years ago when I was feeling better, by kneeling on every single step up the mountain. I can't do that now..." I fell silent. In the end, I had lost both my mother's love and my father's expectations. My sister. The sister I had sworn to save, had acquired these things so effortlessly. It made me look ridiculous. "Okay, I understand." Complex emotions took root in my heart, and I started dreading seeing my sister. I was afraid she would be frightened by my ugly jealousy. 3 "Sister, I'm leaving." The next evening, my sister had a small knapsack on her back, looking like she was ready to say goodbye. "You're leaving? Why?" I repeated, confused. Suddenly, a splitting headache hit me, and images flashed before my eyes. My sister's battered, scarred body covered with a white sheet. My father's cold, dead eyes and my mother's face, pale without a drop of blood. And then, curses sharp enough to pierce the heart. "If only it were Mia who stayed, why did it have to be you? Why wasn't it you who died!" "I should have known you were rotten inside. Mia is so sweet; you must have instigated her to run away. Such a vicious heart at such a young age! Go die and give me my Mia back!" Those were my mother's screams, filled with extreme hatred. "It's a pity. A smart kid like Mia could have led this family back to its former glory. Why are we left with an average nobody like Chloe?" Those were my father's sighs of infinite regret. The woman propped up her sick body and slapped me hard across the face. Pain exploded on my cheek, but I stayed silent, letting myself be beaten to the ground in an act of atonement. Finally, the chaos ended the moment my mother suddenly collapsed. "Mia, you don't have to leave." "I'm the one who should go." I looked at my trembling hands. In my previous life, it was these hands that had cowardly clenched into fists, failing to stop my sister from running away. If I made her stay this time, would my father and mother not be disappointed? "No, I have to go." Mia, who usually had a blank expression, now showed a rare look of determination. She glanced at me. "Sister, you've been unhappy these past few days. Is it because of me?" "Dad has been acting so strange lately, talking about grooming me. His face looks scary. I don't like being controlled by him. Anyway, one of us has to leave. Let me go instead of you." I stared at Mia, my feelings complicated. With things developing as they had, it wasn't that I didn't have dark thoughts. In the agonizing pain of the night, vicious ideas would sometimes take over my mind, making me wonder—if I had been the only child born, without my sister, would I have been happier? Since I exist in this world, why does Mia have to exist too? Those unspeakable resentments suddenly vanished into thin air in the face of Mia's smiling farewell. I lowered my eyes, a wave of self-loathing washing over me. Actually, the one who truly shouldn't have been born was me. "They all don't want me, they all despise me, and now even you are going to abandon me and leave?" I stepped forward, grabbed her sleeve, and shook it. "Stay with me, okay? If you leave, I don't know how I'll survive in this house. Please." Mia looked up in surprise. Her usually empty eyes reflected my image as she whispered, "Sister, do you really not want to be apart from me?" "I thought you'd be happy if I left." I nodded firmly. In this life, Mia absolutely could not leave. Ultimately, the total failure who had no right to stay here was me. "Mia, have you thought about this? What will you encounter if you run away alone? There are a lot of bad people out there, and they don't have a conscience. You're only eight; your thigh isn't even as thick as an adult's arm. What will you do if you run into them?" "If something happened to you, how could I ever be happy!" I initially meant to just act a little to make her stay, but I didn't expect that when I actually spoke the words, they were mixed with genuine feeling. I really, really didn't want to see Mia get hurt again. "Don't cry, Sister. I won't go. I promise I won't go. I'll stay with you!" Mia frantically tried to wipe away my tears. I... was crying? Could someone like me, who was willing to watch her own twin sister walk away for her own selfish gain, actually cry? 4 Regardless, Mia stayed home this time. Having a genius child, my father walked with a newfound spring in his step every day. Even my mother, freed from the fate of being a discarded piece because of her favored child, seemed to have gained some vitality. My father assigned Mia study tasks, and my mother, afraid she would get tired, forced herself to cut fruit and bring it to her. Worried she would overwork herself, she uncharacteristically argued with my father, fighting fiercely for Mia to have break times. These were things she had never done for me. I hid in the corner, like a cockroach in the shadows, peeking at a happiness that didn't belong to me. "Don't worry, Sister. I won't let Father send you away. We sisters have to stick together." During her lunch break, Mia sneaked over to see me and made a solemn promise. I looked at her. Her slightly frail body had filled out quite a bit after a period of careful feeding. Her cheeks were plump and glowing, and her exposed skin had no bruises or redness. That's wonderful. ...In the past, whenever my father was displeased with me, he would punish me. But as expected, with Mia being such a genius, even a strict man like my father became much more lenient. "Okay, I'll wait for you to protect me." The roles of protector and protected had been completely reversed. I suppressed my sorrow and agreed, though I didn't think she could persuade our father. My father was my father. Having been the head of the household for years, male chauvinism was carved into his very breathing. Even if Mia was incredibly smart and capable, how could she possibly resist his deep-seated stubbornness? Just as I expected. The day Mia brought it up with my father, I was hiding behind the door, nervously realizing his voice had darkened. "I allowed you to study as a woman, take the college entrance exams, and find a live-in son-in-law—isn't that enough? What other family's daughter isn't married off for money after a few years? Mia! I have been merciful enough to you!" "The law of the jungle! Survival of the fittest! Since that useless Chloe couldn't beat you, she should obediently accept her fate! It's not like I told her to go die!" Mia's pure voice interrupted him. "Sister wants to keep studying. She's going to be the world's best scientist." "You dare talk back!" My father grew even more enraged. "What dreams! Bullshit! Oh, I get it now. She put you up to this, didn't she? I knew she wouldn't behave. A piece of trash who doesn't want to fulfill her last bit of value and actually dares to instigate you to make trouble." "Where is she? I'll personally convince her to accept her fate." The chilling malice in my father's words made my scalp tingle. Terrified, I nearly dropped to my knees and immediately turned to run. Unfortunately, before I could run more than a few steps, my father kicked the door open and quickly grabbed me. Like an experienced hunter pinning down a weak lamb. The only fate left for it was to be cooked and eaten. One slap after another fell. Looking at Mia, who watched me getting beaten in a daze, and my mother not far away, covering her mouth and sobbing bitterly but not daring to take a step forward, My heart was filled with numbness. I touched my face, and my hand came away wet with tears. 5 Because I "wouldn't behave," my father decided to send me away early. "I'm sorry, Sister. I'm too weak right now. I can't fight Father." "Will you wait for me? When I get into college and have some say, I'll come get you immediately. You know I'm very smart. It won't take long for me to finish the high school curriculum. I can skip grades!" For some reason, listening to Mia's earnest words made me feel a bit nauseous. Frowning through her vows and promises, I gave a faint smile. "Okay, I'll wait for you." I was lying. Every second I was tied to this family disgusted me. I never wanted to see any of them again. The day my future mother-in-law came to settle things, Mia hugged me and refused to let go. "Sister, I don't want to be apart from you." "Sister, I will protect you." "Sister, wait for me." "Sister..." Even as I was taken away by the strange woman, my sister's longing calls kept echoing behind me. Ah. I really wanted to tear off my mask and tell Mia that I hated her, that every word and expression of hers made me sick. I wanted her to realize how despicable her sister really was, and warn her to stop foolishly offering up her sincere heart! I didn't care for it! But I was so useless. I couldn't even manage to show her a mean face. From the time I could remember, my mother begged me to protect my sister. She said my sister was slow and easily bullied, so she needed me to take care of her. She said my sister couldn't speak and was pitiful and helpless, so as her older sister, I had to cherish her. I suppressed the nausea and waved at Mia, who was looking back at me from a distance. "Goodbye!" Goodbye forever! An hour later. On the way to my mother-in-law's house. I created a distraction and, while she wasn't looking, ran away with the small amount of money I had secretly saved up and hidden in my shoe. 6 The years after leaving home were gray and bleak. The money I brought wasn't enough, and because I was too young, there weren't many legitimate jobs available. I couldn't save anything, and whatever baby fat I had was worn away, leaving my bones protruding. On top of that, in those days, human traffickers were everywhere. If I wasn't careful, I'd be targeted. If I hadn't read a lot of books and had a bit of street smarts, I would have been done for long ago. By the time I finally settled down in a city hundreds of miles away from Mia, eight years had passed. "Hey Chloe, want to catch a movie tonight?" The factory manager's son, young Mr. Davis, invited me with a smile. I pulled my thoughts away from the math problems running through my head and expertly declined. "Sorry, Mr. Davis, I have plans tonight. I can't go with you." Ignoring his attempts to persuade me, I packed my things and went home when my shift ended. On the way, I remembered I had left something at the factory and decided to turn back to get it. "What's her deal? I've been pursuing her for months, the gifts I give aren't cheap, and my old man is the factory manager. Yet she rejects my gifts and gives me attitude. Who does she think she is?" Young Mr. Davis complained. Auntie Wang, a coworker I got along with, eagerly agreed. "What kind of lady is she? Just a poor girl. The other day she was fighting with me over discarded vegetable scraps at the market. Don't be discouraged, Mr. Davis. She's just read too many books and gotten stupid, thinking she's so great. She dreams every day of getting into Crestwood University like that talented Lin girl." "It cracks me up. I sneaked a peek, and she still keeps newspaper clippings about that talented Lin girl in her drawer. She's just a country bumpkin. Does she really think a big-shot genius would even know she exists?" Young Mr. Davis looked mocking. "Are you serious? How does she have the nerve to compare herself to Mia Lin? My cousin, who goes to Crestwood, says Mia Lin is amazing. So many men can't even compete with her. That Chloe girl thinks way too highly of herself." I hadn't offended them, and I had even helped Auntie Wang before, yet the malice they harbored towards me was intense. While I felt uncomfortable, I had to admit one thing. They were right about one thing. For someone like me to vainly hope to be compared to a genius like Mia, it was truly overestimating my own abilities. I should have realized years ago that Mia was favored by the heavens, while I was an inconspicuous, ordinary person. No matter where I ran, I couldn't escape the blinding glare of her brilliance. "So this is how you see me." Releasing my tight grip on the doorframe, I interrupted them coldly. "Gossiping behind backs—are you two that exceptional yourselves? What right do you have to comment on my business?" Young Mr. Davis shot me a guilty look, and my expression turned to disgust. "Gossiping about a female colleague behind her back—how do you expect to ever get a girlfriend? Just wait. The next time you try to hook up with someone, I'll tell her exactly how low your character is. You can look forward to being single for the rest of your life!" Young Mr. Davis flared up. "Who do you think you are to threaten me? This factory belongs to my dad! I can have you thrown out with one word! Stop acting so high and mighty!" After cursing, he swaggeringly eyed my face and body, then said with mock kindness, "I know it's not easy for you, being an orphan working in the big city. You don't want to lose your job, do you? Behave, apologize, or agree to be my girlfriend, and I'll reluctantly forgive you." I clenched my fists and considered it. If I hit him, would I lose my job? Manager Davis was fairly upright. He originally invited me to join the factory because he appreciated my skills. He probably wouldn't fire a key technical worker just for his son. Of course, even if I was fired, it wouldn't be the end of the world. At my lowest, I had eaten weeds by the side of the road and filled my stomach with snow to stave off hunger. No matter how hard it got, it wouldn't be that bad. Since that was the case, I threw a punch right into young Mr. Davis's eye socket. Phew, that felt much better.
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