My division commander’s son, Arthur Sterling, told me that if I wanted to marry him, I had to become a regimental commander first. "Eventually, this division will be handed over to us." So, I worked my life away for eight years. Reconnaissance company, artillery regiment, operations and training section—wherever it was toughest, I went. I earned several third-class merit citations and shed layers of skin from the sun. This spring, I thought my promotion to regimental commander was a sure thing. But suddenly, the division dispatched me to the remote Northern Wasteland for construction work. Returning a year later, I saw Lily Vance from the propaganda section leading the regiment in training. I went straight to the division commander's office. In the hallway, two staff officers were smoking. "Commander Vance is so lucky. Her father-in-law promoted her single-handedly." "It's a pity for Chloe Miller. She must have frozen her butt off in the Northern Wasteland, right?" "If you ask me, the division commander should have just told her directly that Lily Vance and his son filed their marriage report ages ago. Would have saved so much trouble." Tossing their cigarette butts, the two walked away. I stood in the empty hallway, suddenly recalling every exhausting night of those eight years. It turned out that in the eyes of others, I was just a joke. So, I went downstairs and called home: "Dad, I'm coming home tomorrow." 1 When I pushed open the door to the division commander's office, I saw Lily Vance sitting on Arthur Sterling's lap. They were pressed against the desk, Arthur's hands wrapped around her waist. Hearing the door, Arthur sprang up, and Lily hurriedly wiped the corner of her mouth. The office was silent for a few seconds. "Chloe..." Arthur stood up, the collar of his uniform slightly wrinkled. "Don't misunderstand. Lily accidentally slipped, and I was just catching her." Lily adjusted her brand-new field-grade officer uniform and cleared her throat: "Major Miller, why didn't you knock before coming in?" I slammed that crumpled appointment notice onto the desk. "When did Lily Vance become a regimental commander?" Lily let out a short laugh: "It was a collective decision by the division's party committee. Do you have an objection?" Arthur pressed his hand on the paper, not meeting my eyes: "Lily graduated with a bachelor's degree from the military academy, has excellent political standing, and is a young cadre prioritized for development by the organization." "Chloe, the organization sees all your contributions, but you need to consider the big picture." I smiled. The big picture? Who ever considered me? "Comprehensive quality? She can't even mark a tactical map properly. Where is the quality?" "Chloe Miller!" Arthur's voice suddenly rose, slamming a folder heavily onto the desk. "You've been in the military for eight years. Don't you know that obeying orders is your bounden duty?" "Don't bring your personal emotions into work!" The way he looked at me was like looking at a troublemaking soldier. Eight years of my life, in his eyes, had become "personal emotions." I looked into his eyes: "Then what do my past eight years count as?" He looked away, his tone softening a bit, like coaxing an ignorant child: "I know it's been hard for you. But the military needs to develop." Lily walked up to me, her epaulets almost brushing against my chest: "I spent five years in the headquarters writing materials. What about you? You spent a year digging drainage ditches in the Northern Wasteland. Do you even have the right to talk about tactics?" The phone rang. It was Arthur's mother. "Mom?" "Get Chloe Miller to get her ass over here immediately! We're hosting a dinner tonight, and she must give an explanation! A woman messing around for eight years and still not becoming a regimental commander, isn't it embarrassing!" Arthur's face changed. He hung up the phone, looking at me with a bit of annoyance, but quickly put on his gentle facade again: "Stop making a fuss." He walked over, trying to take my hand: "You know how my mom is, don't take it to heart." "I'll go with you tonight, we'll explain everything properly." Just as Arthur finished speaking, there was a knock on the office door. It was a communications orderly from division headquarters, holding a document: "Officer Sterling, Commander Vance, the political commissar requests your presence in the conference room immediately for an emergency meeting regarding next week's on-site demonstration." Lily immediately stood up straight, the slight flippancy on her face vanishing instantly, replaced by the demeanor of a serious military officer: "Understood. We'll be right there." She turned to Arthur, her tone as natural as if discussing official business: "Arthur, shall we head over first? Let's not keep the commissar waiting." Arthur nodded and picked up his notebook from the desk. Right before walking out, he paused, didn't turn back, and dropped a flat sentence: "Chloe, tonight at seven, my house. Don't be late, and don't say things you shouldn't." The door closed. That evening, I walked into the Sterling family's small courtyard alone. The house was brightly lit, filled with loud voices. This wasn't a family dinner; it was a celebratory banquet. The star of the show was Lily Vance. She was wearing a pristine field-grade woolen uniform, epaulets gleaming, holding Arthur's arm, laughing and chatting with people. I felt like an outsider who had wandered in by mistake. All eyes turned to me—surprise, disdain, and then undisguised mockery. "Oh, Major Miller is back?" "The sandstorms of the Northern Wasteland didn't bury you there?" Mother Sterling walked over, looking me up and down: "What are you doing here? Our family doesn't entertain idle people." Lily leaned close to Arthur, feigning concern: "Auntie, don't say that. Major Miller also made contributions in the Northern Wasteland." An elder walked over with a wine glass, patting Lily's shoulder: "Arthur has good taste. Lily is young and promising, just promoted to regimental commander. This is what a daughter-in-law of our military region should be like." He turned to me, his smile cutting: "Unlike some people, messing around for so many years and still just a major, shamelessly clinging to Arthur without looking at what she's worth!" "Exactly! Hurry up and leave!" I looked at Arthur. He just stood there, watching coldly. He didn't even furrow his brow. His silence was more piercing than those words. 2 I set down my wine glass, turned, and walked out of the Sterling family's courtyard. "Chloe Miller! Stop right there!" Arthur chased after me, grabbing my arm tightly under the streetlight: "Haven't you embarrassed yourself enough?" I threw off his hand. "Let's break up." He froze for a second, his face darkening: "Just because my mom told a few truths, you can't handle it?" "Chloe, think about it yourself! Who's to blame that you haven't been promoted all these years? If you had become a regimental commander earlier, who would give you a hard time?" I looked at him, feeling only absurdity. His tone softened a bit: "Alright, stop making a fuss. It's my fault, I shouldn't have let you go in alone to get scolded." He sounded like he was lecturing a disobedient soldier: "Without me, where could you go? Your current position is only because my dad did an old comrade a favor." "Besides leading troops into battle, what else can you do? Which unit would want someone like you?" Without allowing any argument, he shoved me into his Jeep. The car drove to the small cafeteria behind the military service cooperative. He dragged me into a private room. The door was slightly ajar, and inside, several young staff officers were laughing and talking: "Officer Sterling is really devoted to Commander Vance." "For sure. This afternoon, when Commander Vance saw that Officer Sterling still had Chloe Miller's old photos in his notebook, her face turned black." "Officer Sterling immediately had someone call Chloe back from the Northern Wasteland. He specifically brought her here to 'smooth things over' for Commander Vance." "Being played for eight years and still kept in the dark, that's really something..." I stopped dead in my tracks. Arthur's face stiffened, and he pushed the door open. "What's so lively in here?" He smiled and pushed me down onto a stool: "Chloe's stomach isn't feeling well, so I brought her over for some soup." The private room fell silent. The officers exchanged weird glances. There were dishes on the table, and a bottle of high-proof white liquor in the middle. Arthur grabbed my enamel mug, poured half a mug of white liquor, and pushed it towards me. "Drink it, warm your stomach." I have severe stomach issues; the whole division knows it. He knows it best. "Are you crazy? I can't drink that!" "Giving you face and you don't take it?" His voice turned cold, "Given the occasion today, don't be ungrateful." He picked up the mug and brought it to my lips. The spicy liquid poured in, burning my throat like a knife. I clutched my stomach and bent over, cold sweat breaking out on my forehead. Arthur glanced at me: "Stop pretending. You're ruining the mood." At that moment, Lily, sitting in the seat of honor, suddenly picked up her own mug of liquor, Tilted her head back, and gulped it down forcefully. She drank so fast and hard that the liquor spilled from the corners of her mouth. Arthur's face turned completely pale. He frantically lunged over to snatch the mug: "Lily! What are you doing! Stop!" Lily pushed his hand away, deliberately taking another huge gulp before wiping her mouth and glaring sideways at me: "I'm unhappy, what's wrong with having a drink?" Arthur was so anxious his eyes turned red. He pulled out a handkerchief to wipe her mouth, his voice trembling: "Do you want to die? It's only been a few days since your stomach bleed! Have you forgotten what the doctor said?" He turned and glared fiercely at me, as if I had forced Lily to drink: "It's all your fault! You had to make a scene! Are you satisfied now that you've made her so angry?" My stomach felt like it was on fire. I suddenly remembered three years ago. I had just come back from the frontlines, and had a couple of extra drinks at the celebration banquet. He smashed his cup right there, pointed at me, and said: "I hate women who drink and mess things up the most. If you drink like this again, don't come looking for me." Since then, I hadn't touched a drop of alcohol. It turned out he didn't hate the alcohol, it depended entirely on who was drinking it. 3 I rushed into the washroom, vomiting uncontrollably. Splashing freezing water on my face barely suppressed the burning sensation in my throat and the churning in my stomach. Just as I wiped my face and turned around, I saw three or four military officers, their faces flushed from drinking, swaggering over with their arms around each other. Leading them was Old Zhao, the commander of the First Battalion. "Well, well, well, isn't this our great talent, Chloe?" Old Zhao stumbled over and slapped my shoulder hard, "The main character of tonight, why are you hiding here?" Next to him, Deputy Battalion Commander Sun from the Third Battalion immediately let out a strange laugh: "Old Zhao, that's not right. Staff Officer Miller is battling the elements in the Northern Wasteland. That's called 'tempering oneself,' how can you call it hiding?" "Right, right, right, 'tempering oneself'!" Old Zhao slapped his thigh, "Back in the military academy, you, Chloe Miller, were the most badass, getting excellent marks in every subject. It's been eight years since graduation, right?" "Oh, still 'tempering yourself' in a major's position? We brothers are untalented, but we've all managed to reach lieutenant colonel." "Staff Officer Miller has high ambitions, she's meant to be a regimental commander!" "Regimental commander? I'd say if she 'tempers herself' for another eight years, she'd be lucky just to keep that uniform!" Their grating laughter echoed in the washroom. These guys were all my peers from the military academy. Back then, we called each other brothers. I don't know when it started, but they got transferred and promoted one by one, While I kept bouncing around different battalions and companies, even serving as their deputy for a while. People's hearts, I guess, just turn cold like that. Back then, they sourly said I had "latched onto a high branch, saving twenty years of struggle," And now they were taking back the face they'd lost, with interest, by humiliating me. "You guys don't know shit!" Deputy Battalion Commander Sun winked exaggeratedly, "Chloe Miller's boyfriend is Division Commander Sterling's young master! That's called experiencing life, going deep into the grassroots!" "Her? She's not even fit to carry Officer Sterling's bags! A girlfriend? I think she's daydreaming, she must be crazy!" Amidst the roaring laughter, the door to the cafeteria's private room opened. Arthur, holding Lily's hand, walked out surrounded by a crowd, probably having heard the commotion over here. Deputy Battalion Commander Sun's eyes lit up, and he yelled at the top of his lungs: "Officer Sterling! Commander Vance! Perfect timing to ask. Chloe Miller goes around telling everyone that she and you... have that kind of relationship. Is it true or false?" In an instant, the entire hallway fell dead silent. All eyes were pinned on me. A few young female soldiers were already covering their mouths, snickering. I looked at Arthur. He looked back at me, his face expressionless. Then, a very faint arc curved at the corner of his mouth, and he spoke clearly: "Thank you all for your concern. However, there might be some misunderstanding here." He raised his hand, which was clasped with Lily's. His voice wasn't loud, but it was enough for everyone to hear clearly: "Lily and I submitted our marriage application, and the organization has approved it." "We will hold our wedding next month. We invite everyone to come have a drink with us then." After speaking, he didn't look at me again. Arm in arm with Lily, he walked out of the cafeteria doors with the laughing crowd. Old Zhao and the others still wouldn't let me go. They leaned in, their alcohol-laced breath blowing in my face. "Hear that? Wedding drinks next month!" "Chloe Miller, you not only lie to us, you even lie to yourself!" "Back then, you were the most badass in the whole squad. And now? When you see me, you have to call me 'Deputy Regimental Commander'!" I didn't hear what they said after that. My head was buzzing, only Arthur's words "marriage application, already approved" remained. Eight years of sweat, eight years of brutal fighting, eight years of hoping. Like a popped soap bubble, nothing was left. I pushed past them, walking through those needle-like gazes, and out of the cafeteria. As the night wind blew, the burning pain in my stomach suddenly seemed to turn numb.
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