Everyone knows I am the illegitimate daughter of the prominent Vance family in Capitol City, a secret kept in the shadows. It's only because of Mrs. Vance's kind heart, keeping me around to pray for her beloved youngest daughter, that I was allowed to grow up in the Vance household. But what outsiders don't know is that from age six to twenty-six, I donated blood to Lily Vance hundreds of times. Half of one of my kidneys is even functioning inside her body. When I turned twenty-seven, Lily's heart started failing. The eldest Vance son immediately locked me up in the estate. Mrs. Vance, rolling prayer beads in her hands, spoke with a tone as gentle as a saint: "Good child, I have wronged you. If you come back to haunt someone after you're gone, come for my life." But on the day of the surgery, a former maid who had gone mad suddenly appeared at the hospital, hysterical. She kept screaming: "Ma'am, someone switched your baby back then!" On that day, the proud Mrs. Vance shattered her own heart and took her own life. ... After I was hospitalized. The person who visited me most often was Liam Vance, the one who dragged me back from the airport. He didn't really do anything. He just sat in my hospital room for a few hours every day, watching me knit a scarf. I really couldn't stand this human refrigerator. I tied off the yarn and looked at him with a headache. "You've posted so many bodyguards, I definitely can't escape. There's no need for you to personally guard me, right?" At those words, Liam awkwardly looked away. After a long while, he looked at me again, his tone a bit lost: "Is there anything you want?" "Or, do you have any wishes? Before..." Wishes? My fingers paused. The day I was dragged back to the Vance estate and locked up. I was supposed to fly north to see the snow. In my twenty-seven years of life, because of Lily's health condition, I hadn't taken a single step out of Capitol City. At the beginning of the year, the doctors said her health had improved a lot. So the Vance family finally relaxed their control over me. But Lily started dating someone and actually went bungee jumping and scuba diving with her boyfriend. With her fragile body, she went into shock that very night and ended up in the hospital. This time, the doctors said she needed a heart transplant. So, the world of ice and snow I had thought about countless times became an eternal fantasy. And now, the chief culprit was actually asking me what my wish was? As if he would really fulfill it if I told him. I smiled mockingly. Seeing Liam's persistent look, I said perfunctorily: "Osmanthus jam, I guess." Liam froze for a moment, then said softly: "Osmanthus jam, Mom loves that the most too." "You both like sweets. Lily doesn't like it at all, says it's too cloying." I twitched my lips and didn't reply. An illegitimate daughter like me wouldn't dare claim a connection with the most pious Mrs. Vance in Capitol City. Liam had nothing more to say. After sitting for a while longer, he got up to leave. When he reached the door, he stopped and looked back at me. "Chloe, believe it or not, after all these years, we've truly considered you family for a long time." I scoffed. Family? Hearing that gives me nightmares. I'm terrified of being reincarnated into a family like theirs in my next life. From the moment I could remember, I knew my awkward status in the Vance family. So I always shrank back, trying to minimize my presence. But that didn't stop me from envying Lily Vance. She was born sickly, practically living in the hospital. Whenever that happened, Mrs. Vance would stay by her bed all night, copying scriptures over and over. Mr. Vance, no matter how busy, would rush back just to see her. Ethan and Liam would rack their brains to find all sorts of novelties just to make her smile. Her hospital room was always filled with flowers and toys. The one thing she lacked least was love. And I, having just had my blood drawn, would always hide in the room next to hers, secretly listening to her silvery laughter. From losing too much blood, I also felt terrible all over. But I had no right to express my joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness as freely as she did. She laughed loudly when happy, acted spoiled when dissatisfied, and cried when in pain. Every tear could earn her double the tender affection. As for me, my crying was annoying, my happiness was always inappropriate. To the Vance family. Her life was precious. And mine seemed born just to exist for her. This point was brought to my attention by the second young master of the Vance family, Ethan Vance. He was the person in the entire Vance family who hated me the most. Moving my room to the attic was his idea. From elementary school to college, he was the one tirelessly educating everyone that I was an illegitimate child. Thanks to him, I hardly had a single comfortable moment growing up. The phrase he said to me the most was: "Your usefulness to Lily is the greatest purpose and value of your life. You should be thankful." Later, probably because Lily's condition improved. He surprisingly started showing me a somewhat pleasant face. Once, I was carrying a stack of old books down from the attic and almost tripped on the stairs. He happened to be downstairs and instinctively reached out to catch me, even asking if I was okay. After I said I was fine, he hesitated and asked if I wanted to move out of the attic. It scared me so much I didn't sleep all night, wondering how he was planning to prank me next. Fortunately, Lily was hospitalized again, and the abruptly changed Ethan finally stopped looking at me with strange eyes. However, the day I was brought back to the Vance family and sent to the hospital for matching. He accompanied me the whole time, keeping his head down, not looking at me once, but his hands were shaking violently. Even during these past few days while I was locked in the hospital waiting for surgery, he restrained himself and didn't come once to warn me to know my place. I smacked my lips, shaking my head to clear him from my thoughts. Instead, I looked with satisfaction at the scarf I was spreading out. Just a little bit more and it will be finished. By the day of my surgery, it should be done. I hope the person receiving the gift can survive this winter that I won't be able to. Later that evening, Liam had someone bring me osmanthus jam. A large jar full of it. I had just opened the lid when the hospital room door was violently pushed open. The next second, the jar in my hand was knocked to the floor. Ethan's angry voice echoed in the room: "What did you say to Lily?" "Lily is refusing to have the surgery now! She was perfectly fine before she left her room that day, but after coming to see you, she's been crying and throwing a tantrum! Did you spout some nonsense in front of her?!" I stared at the osmanthus jam spilled all over the floor for a long time. Then, I looked up, meeting his red, angry eyes, my voice so calm it even surprised me. "Yes." "I said I didn't want to die. Is there a problem with that?" This was my true, inner thought, but to the Vance family, it probably sounded like high treason. Ethan froze in place. I smiled, looking straight into his eyes, and said word by word: "I told her I'm only twenty-seven. I'm still so young, I don't want to die." "Are you satisfied? Second Young Master Vance." All color drained from his face; he stared at me, unable to utter a single word. After a long moment, he violently averted his eyes and almost stumbled out, not even bothering to close the door. The hospital room fell silent again, leaving only the cloyingly rich, almost bitter scent of osmanthus. Actually, I lied to him. Lily did come to my room in a wheelchair that day. Except Liam accompanied her, glaring at me with a warning look the entire time. Lily thought I was hospitalized for appendicitis surgery. She looked pale and said to Liam, almost whining: "Big brother, none of you told me Chloe was sick. Good thing I'm smart and noticed you kept secretly taking the elevator upstairs." Liam gently ruffled her hair, his tone soft: "It's big brother's fault, I apologize." Lily then smiled and looked at me: "Chloe, appendicitis surgery is minor, don't be scared." As she spoke, her smile became strained, and she lowered her eyes: "Unlike me, I'm having a heart transplant in a few days. Having your heart taken out... it must be terrifying." I stood there, instinctively raising my hand to touch my chest. Inside my chest cavity, that strong heart was beating vigorously. Yes. Having your heart taken out must be terrifying. I was also so scared. When she left that day, she was clearly still smiling happily. I didn't know why she suddenly threw a tantrum about not wanting the surgery, leading Ethan to come charging over like a mad dog looking for trouble. He was the one who protected Lily the most in the family. If anyone made Lily shed a single tear, he would fight them to the death. I have to admit, Lily really hit the reincarnation jackpot. If people really have a next life, I hope I don't get dealt such a terrible hand again. I sighed and slowly got out of bed. I crouched down, used a fingertip to dab a little of the osmanthus jam from the floor, and put it in my mouth. So sweet. I smacked my lips, looking at the amber jam on the floor, my voice as light as a sigh: "What a pity, I won't be able to eat this ever again." The day before the surgery, Lily came to my room again. This time, a nurse wheeled her in. Her lips were purplish-black, and an oxygen tube hung under her nose. After recovering for quite a while, she finally spoke: "Chloe, the surgery is tomorrow, I'm a little scared." I didn't speak, my hands continuously knitting the last section of the scarf. Time was almost up. She didn't seem to need my answer either. She stared at me unblinkingly and said softly: "Chloe, will you blame me?" "We are both Vance children, and we are often sick at the same time, but Mom, Dad, and my brothers always stay by my side." "While you here..." The steel needles in my hands paused, and suddenly I looped the yarn wrong. She had already lowered her head; I couldn't see the expression on her face, I could only hear her breathing, which sounded like a bellows. "I don't blame you." I re-looped the yarn: "There's nothing to blame you for." You get used to it. I was only five the first time I was dragged to the hospital to have blood drawn. At that time, my concept of family hadn't been completely crushed yet. I naively thought that if I helped my sister, I would be accepted by this family. So when I came out of the hospital room, the first thing I did was carefully take Mrs. Vance's cold hand. And then I softly called her "Mom." I don't quite remember Mrs. Vance's expression that day. I only remember her saying I needed to go back and learn the rules properly. So I understood. Lily and I were completely different existences. Later, after having my blood drawn so many times, it stopped hurting. Even later, when they took my kidney, they did give me some preferential treatment. I stayed in a room slightly better than the attic and ate delicate hospital food for a few days. From beginning to end, not a single person told me the details of the surgery, nor did anyone ask if I was willing. I was used to being taken from. Used to preparing myself, with every one of Lily's critical condition notices, that a part of my body might be taken away. I just, at the very end, really regretted that I didn't get to go see the snow in the North. Twelve hours before the surgery, my scarf was finally finished. Black cashmere yarn, which I specifically chose; it should really suit his skin tone. I smiled, carefully folded the scarf, and placed it on the nightstand. My eyes, however, caught sight of a jar of osmanthus jam on the nightstand. It wasn't the celadon jar Liam had sent, but an ordinary glass jar. It looked like a premium brand you could buy at a store. I didn't know who put it there, only that when I opened my eyes, it had appeared on my nightstand. That morning, Mrs. Vance coincidentally also came to see me. Rolling her prayer beads, she sat by my bed and held my hand. She looked very tired. Every time Lily was hospitalized, Mrs. Vance always stayed up all night by her most beloved youngest daughter's side, night after night. This time was no exception. She stared at me blankly for a long time, and finally, her gaze fell on the osmanthus jam on my nightstand. "You like eating osmanthus jam too?" I nodded. Her eyes instantly turned red, and large tears rolled down without warning. "How strange. Liam told me you also liked osmanthus jam, and I didn't believe him." "Lily is allergic to osmanthus..." She mumbled the last sentence. Her tears flowed faster, and the hand holding mine unconsciously tightened, her nails almost digging into my skin. After a long time, she calmed down, looked at me, and said: "Chloe, I am the one who wronged you. I won't deny the sins I've committed." "But I am a mother. I would rather die myself than not save my child." I pulled my hand from hers and smiled shyly: "I know, Lily is lucky to have you as her mother." I meant that sincerely. Lily indeed was lucky. To have a mother willing to sacrifice everything for her. To have a family that treated her like a treasure. She was silent for a moment, then said: "When you were first brought to the Vance family, I actually hated you very much." "I thought, why is my child struggling on the edge of life and death, while you are healthy and laughing without a care in the world." "But Chloe, the more you give to Lily, the more I can't lift my head in front of you." "What did you do wrong?" "I have no choice, Chloe. I can never repay what I owe you." "If you come to claim my life, I won't have a single complaint." I looked at the tears in her eyes, feeling a bit dazed. All these years, Mrs. Vance spent her days copying scriptures in the Vance family's Buddhist shrine, ignoring worldly affairs. But when I was bullied by distant Vance relatives and maids at home, she was the one who stepped up time and time again to scold them back for me. There was another time when I was very sick, with a high fever that wouldn't break. In my delirium, a cool hand rested on my forehead. I struggled to open my heavy eyelids and saw Mrs. Vance sitting by my narrow bed. Later, she scooped me up and carried me downstairs. That was the first time she held me, and the only time in my entire life. What a true pity. I had never seen my mother. So even up to the moment I close my eyes, I will never know if my mother's embrace would have been just as gentle. The moment before entering the operating room. The gurney was waiting at the door, and the nurse was doing the final checks. Ethan suddenly burst through the doors. His eyes were terrifyingly red, and he spoke incoherently to me about my childhood. Finally, unable to continue, his voice hoarse, he apologized over and over again. I didn't respond, just looked at him calmly. He stumbled backward a step, covering his face with his hands, his shoulders shaking slightly. I didn't know what kind of fit he was having, choosing the last moment to come bother me instead of staying by his beloved sister. However, being on death's door, I could finally say what I'd wanted to say for a long time. "Ethan!" He looked up at me. I smiled at him: "You are the person I hate most in the entire Vance family." His face was shockingly pale. I thought for a moment and maliciously added: "I will never, ever forgive you." Even after entering the operating room, I was still relishing Ethan's stiff, pale expression at that moment. It was quite interesting; he looked as pained as if his own sister had actually died. Then, My world went completely dark. Dying is a very strange thing. If this floating state can be called dying. The Vance family members outside the operating room all had different expressions, but without exception, they all looked haggard. Especially Ethan; he shrank into a corner, constantly biting his fingernails, blood already flowing over his hands. I tsked. I had to admit, Ethan's love for his sister Lily was true. I glanced at Mrs. Vance again. She was mechanically rolling the prayer beads in her hands, muttering to herself. In this dead silence, at the end of the hallway, the elevator suddenly dinged open. A figure stumbled out. "Ma'am! It's wrong! It's all wrong!" This roar made everyone outside the operating room whip their heads around. Ethan was the first to react, yelling at the bodyguards: "Stop her!" But it was too late. The woman with disheveled clothes stared fixedly at the door, screaming incoherently: "Madam! Help! Someone is trying to steal the young miss! That bitch took her child and switched the babies!" "She even hit me, blood! So much blood!" "I held the baby Madam gave birth to! I held her with my own hands!" She reached out her trembling hands, gesturing madly in the air. "That child was fair and plump, her little legs kicked with such strength, her cry was loud. Later, later she stopped crying and laughed, her eyes curved like a little lucky doll! A healthy lucky doll!" The air went dead silent. Only the mad maid humming a nursery rhyme intermittently remained.
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