I lied to my mom and told her I was heading to college a week early. My mom gave me a suspicious look: "The boy next door goes to the same college as you, and he hasn't left early." I rubbed my hands together guiltily. "You're going to see a boy, aren't you? It's fine, I'm not some old-fashioned prude. Here's an extra three hundred bucks, go have fun." I accepted it with overwhelming gratitude: "Yes, yes, yes, whatever you say!" My mom bought it. On the train, I pulled out a brand-new physics textbook and scratched my head, desperately copying notes. What boyfriend? I was going back early to take a makeup exam! On the way to the makeup exam. My mom video-called me. "Sweetie, let Mommy see your new boyfriend." 1 I'm doomed. I only have new test scores, not a new boyfriend! Driven by desperation, I could only point the camera randomly at a passerby. "Mom, he's the reason I left for school early." When I lie to my mom, I always commit fully. I was planning to just use the side of the passerby's face to fool her. But no matter how softly I spoke. The handsome guy in the camera still turned his head. My mom screamed from the other end of the video: "He's so handsome?! Are you dating a celebrity? Bring him home this weekend!" "Gotta go, I'm going to take screenshots and show off to my friends, hahahaha..." The video call ended with my mom's exaggerated, boomer-style laughter. Leaving me and the handsome guy staring at each other in the wind. The guy stood tall and straight, his facial features sharp and handsome—a literal god. I scratched my head and laughed awkwardly. "Sorry about that, classmate. I was too embarrassed to say I came back early for a makeup exam, so I lied to my parents and said I was coming back to see my boyfriend." The handsome guy expressed understanding. And he sped up his pace alongside me. Looks like we're in the same boat. I struck up a conversation while practically jogging: "Classmate, are you here for the physics makeup exam too?" The handsome guy didn't speak, just kept rushing forward. He didn't have any study materials on him. At a glance, you could tell he was an honest kid. Cheating on such a hard class was a must; he was definitely going to fail! A plan formed in my mind: "Bro, how about this: I have a lot of cheat sheets on me, I basically copied down all the formulas. I'll share some must-pass tips with you, and you come home with me this weekend to meet my parents, deal?" As soon as I said that. He stopped in his tracks. Seeing that he was bought off by me. The beginner's guide to cheating begins now! I pulled out the tissue paper with key points from my pocket. Then I fished out a ten-fold formula sheet from my knee-high socks. The most, most important thing, of course, is the phone! The handsome guy was confused: "How do you bring a phone into the exam room? The proctors always use metal detectors!" I smiled wisely: "Heh, the teachers only scan your body, they never check what's in your hand! And mine is a flip phone!" "What about the signal jammers?" "Those old jammers our school has can't block 5G signals at all; the connection is perfectly fine." The handsome guy nodded thoughtfully, and continued to ask sincerely: "Since you have so many tricks, how come you didn't pass the final exam?" I waved my hand, patting his shoulder earnestly: "Let's not dwell on past failures, let's look forward together!" After arriving at the classroom. I saw a few of my suffering sisters. Great, our mutual aid group was assembled in a second. But I didn't forget the handsome guy I just met. I quickly pulled him in. Seeing how breathtakingly handsome he was, the sisterhood agreed immediately. Everyone started sharing their cheat sheets and how they planned to pass answers right under the proctor's nose later. The handsome guy must have been moved by me. He even proactively asked for the names of everyone in our mutual aid group. I raised an eyebrow at him, signaling no thanks needed. As good bros, this is how we do it. Enough for him to remember for a lifetime. 2 There were only ten minutes left before the exam. The students had finished all their preparations. But the proctor was nowhere to be seen. My best friend, Jessica, started gossiping about the proctor. "I heard the proctor for our room is the male god from University A, a second-year PhD student, super handsome, exaggeratedly better looking than Timothée Chalamet. He's only proctoring at our University C today as a favor to a friend." "Rumor has it he's a research genius, already being fought over by research institutes from University A and University C before even graduating, with starting salaries in the seven figures." Chloe from the sisterhood slammed the desk in regret: "Damn it, if I had known, I would have done a full face of makeup." "Sigh, then we need to be careful when cheating." "It's fine! A good student like him, he's never seen our high-tech cheating methods!" ... It wasn't until the roving proctor outside the classroom delivered the exam papers that everyone quieted down. "Hey, where's your Teacher Gan? Wasn't he supposed to be here early?" Teacher Gan? I whispered to the sisterhood: "What a weird last name, hilarious. If he's Teacher Gan (Dry), am I Teacher Shi (Wet)?" (Translator's note: In Chinese, "Gan" means dry. The protagonist makes a dirty joke contrasting it with "Shi" meaning wet). The dirty-minded girls instantly thought the wrong thing. Giggling endlessly below the desks. My face felt a bit hot: "I didn't mean it like that!" But no matter how much I defended myself, it was useless. Just while everyone was still grinning. The handsome guy who had been sitting in the corner slowly stood up. He calmly accepted the exam papers, pulled a proctor ID from his pocket, and stood at the podium. "Hello everyone, I am your proctor for today, Arthur Gan." No way. Excuse me? Is it too late for me to apologize with my death right now? 3 Obviously, it was too late. Forget the phones and cheat sheets. Even the smartwatch Jessica hid in her pant leg was confiscated. Arthur said he meant no harm. I agree. He simply didn't want us to live. Without any suspense. The sisterhood and I were completely wiped out by Arthur, forcing us all to retake the class. In sheer desperation, I could only kneel to the sisters in our group chat: "I'm sorry, I invited the wolf into our house. To make amends, I'm willing to give you my life!" Chloe sent a "disgusted" emoji: "Only offering useless things." Jessica immediately followed up: "Since you sincerely want to make it up to us, we will show great mercy and give you a chance to redeem yourself." I nodded like a chicken pecking at grain: "Tell me, tell me." "Arthur will be taking a part-time job at our University C this semester, and he just happens to be our physics teacher. Go seduce him, claim him, ravage him! Help the sisters vent our anger, and then get the exam paper from him at the end of the semester." Huh? Me? What kind of thing am I, that I even deserve a second glance from Arthur? I was helpless: "Jessica, do you have a filter on me? What makes you think I can take down the male god of University A?!" Jessica was full of confidence: "Based on my years of experience navigating the world, the way Arthur looked at you that day was definitely not innocent. You just need to crook your finger, and he'll take the bait." I don't know if Arthur's eyesight is good or bad, but Jessica's eyesight is definitely bad. But since things have come to this, I can only try to treat a dead horse as a living doctor. Besides, I failed the makeup exam. I absolutely can't let my parents guess that I came back early for the makeup exam. The day after tomorrow is the weekend. No time to lose, I need to hurry to University A and find Arthur to go home with me this weekend. 4 Before setting off, the whole dorm helped me put on a super stunning succubus makeup look. The head-turning rate was indeed quite high. Our University C and University A are only separated by College Avenue. Arthur is very famous. I just asked a random student and found out his dorm building. When I arrived at his dorm building, I was shocked. As expected of a PhD student. A single room for one person is one thing. This dorm building was like a luxury apartment. It made me want to apply for a PhD too. Very luckily, after squatting downstairs for half an hour, I caught Arthur. He wore a crisp black shirt, the cuffs slightly rolled up, revealing his prominent wrist bones. Unlike the messy look when I first met him. Today, his hair looked meticulously styled, every single strand radiating handsomeness. I was so struck by his handsomeness that my breath hitched. Dressed up, he was far too high-profile. Passing girls all looked over. "Looking for me?" He raised an eyebrow. "How did you know?" I was puzzled. The corners of his mouth curved up slightly: "You've been squatting at this door for twenty-eight minutes. You didn't stop any of the many guys walking by, but as soon as I came down, you came to meet me." Taking him to play a murder mystery game would definitely be an easy win. I got straight to the point: "Yes, I want you to go home with me this weekend pretending to be my boyfriend to deal with my mom." He crossed his arms: "Why should I?" "Because you used me to infiltrate our sisterhood, making me the target of public criticism, failing the makeup exam, and unable to answer to my parents!" I was anxious. He still had the nerve to ask me why. If it weren't for him, I would have passed the makeup exam long ago. And I wouldn't have to beg him to go home with me. He frowned slightly: "Is your cheating really that justified?" "You!" I licked my lips, unable to refute. True. He, a PhD student at University A, hadn't done anything wrong either. What capability did I have to make him pretend to be my boyfriend? It seems Jessica's eyesight really is problematic. Saying the way he looked at me wasn't innocent. We're the ones who are truly doomed if we mess with him. Seeing Arthur turn around, about to go back inside. A clear, cold voice interrupted my thoughts. "Mia, why are you here?" "Senior Ethan?" 5 Ethan is a senior at University A. We met at a mixer. He had a good impression of me. Gentle, considerate, polite, and proper. So I used the excuse of liking aloof men to reject him directly. At this moment, my eyes darted around, and I quickly grabbed his sleeve: "Senior Ethan, are you free this weekend?" Ethan had just opened his mouth. When Arthur turned back, looking at me coldly: "He's not free." "Huh? Teacher Gan, I..." "Have you submitted your graduation thesis?" Speaking of the thesis, Ethan was not only unpanicked but quite confident: "Not yet, but I'll finish it next week!" "Too late, Professor Huang wants it this Saturday, he asked you to go see him on Saturday." Ethan panicked a little: "There was no notice." Arthur spoke slowly: "Professor Huang will notify you tonight." Ethan nodded, then said to me: "Then I'm free on Sunday." My originally dimmed eyes lit up again, hope rekindled. Arthur glanced at me, his tone calm but unquestionable: "Sunday won't work either, the short essay for my class is due on Sunday." Ethan gasped: "What? Teacher Gan, you didn't mention that." Arthur calmly took out his phone and operated it for a bit: "The notice has already been sent to your phones." Seeing he still wanted to say something, Arthur continued: "The mock test that hasn't been scheduled yet is also set for..." "I'm not free!!" Ethan turned his head, looked at me, and said firmly: "Sorry Mia, I'm not free this weekend. I have to study this weekend. I love studying. I'm going to go study now, bye." 6 "I can agree to pretend to be your boyfriend, but you have to agree to one request of mine." After Ethan left, Arthur leaned in close to me and said. His exquisite features suddenly magnified in front of me, and I leaned back a bit: "Sure, as long as you come home with me this weekend, I'll agree to ten of your requests!" "Okay, my request is that you come home with me tonight first." "Huh?!" I widened my eyes, suspecting there was something wrong with my ears. Arthur looked at me expressionlessly: "What, just said you'd agree to ten requests, and now you're chickening out on the first one?" "No, your request... is it proper?" I shrank back warily. Arthur raised an eyebrow: "You want an improper one?" "I don't!" He turned to leave: "Then forget it." "Wait, wait, wait!" I grabbed his sleeve: "I'll go! Who's afraid of who! It's a society ruled by law, what can you possibly do to me? But we have a deal, if I go to your place, you have to come home with me this weekend." Arthur looked down at my hand gripping him, the corners of his mouth curving slightly: "Deal. I'll pick you up for dinner at my place around mealtime." While following him toward the apartment building, I frantically messaged the sisterhood group chat: [Sisters, Arthur wants me to go home with him tonight.] Jessica replied instantly: [Holy shit! You're amazing, sis! This progress bar is moving faster than a rocket!] Chloe: [The girls at University A all say Arthur could outshine Timothée Chalamet and Tom Holland if he debuted. Mia, you should just start a masterclass.] Rachel types very slowly, with grandma-speed: [Remember to wear ultra-thin 0.01.] Concise, straight to the highway. Me: [Wear your head, I'm going to exchange favors with him.] Chloe sent a "let's get dirty" emoji: [Going to his place to exchange? Exchange what? Positions??] Jessica: [Oh my god, Mia, you're something else! A pure female college student on the outside, playing so wild behind closed doors?] Me: [Can you guys be a little pure! He's a PhD! He's about to be our substitute teacher! Do you have any professional ethics?] This group of women, whether it's red or black, they'll turn it yellow for you. (Translator's note: In Chinese slang, "yellow" means pornographic/dirty). Chloe: [Tsk, he just caught you cheating, and turns around and asks you to his place. Savor this operation, savor it carefully.] Me: [...Savor what, I can't savor anything.] Jessica: [I savor that he wants to tutor you privately! One-on-one! Private lessons! Close-contact teaching!] Chloe: [The kind where you wear tight clothes.] Me: [...I'm wearing a hoodie and jeans, thank you.] Jessica: [Tsk, so unromantic. Hurry up and go buy a battle outfit! There's a new mall outside the school!] Me: [I have no money!] Chloe: [Didn't you just scam three hundred bucks out of your mom?] Me: [...] 7 Arthur's apartment is in a high-end complex next to University A. In the elevator, I was so nervous I was picking at my fingernails. He, on the other hand, was completely composed, leaning against the elevator wall scrolling on his phone. I secretly glanced at his profile. Really handsome. Hiss, why does he feel a bit familiar? I seem to have seen him somewhere before. Sigh, handsome guys always look handsome in the same way. Only ugly men are ugly in all sorts of strange ways. "Have a seat anywhere." Arthur poured me a glass of water. Holding the glass, I sat awkwardly on the sofa, not knowing where to look. Arthur sat across from me: "Your name is Mia Lin, sophomore in Computer Science at University C, living in Happy Community, Hangzhou. Right?" I almost spat out a mouthful of water: "How do you know?!" He gave me a flat look: "The day you cheated, I memorized the names of everyone in your mutual aid group, and casually checked your files." I gasped: "What exactly do you want to do?" Arthur didn't answer, instead asking: "When did your mom ask you to bring me home?" "Saturday noon." "Okay." He pulled his phone from his pocket, swiped a few times, and handed it to me. I took it and looked. It was a list: Two cases of premium liquor. Two boxes of bird's nest. Two cartons of imported cigarettes. Two boxes of cherries. Two boxes of sea cucumber. Two boxes of abalone. Two cases of olive oil. Two cases of milk. "This is?" Is this trying to move a supermarket to my house? "The standard package for meeting the parents." Arthur replied with his head down, looking at the list and pondering: "What do your parents like? Add it on, I'll go buy them tomorrow." I stared at him blankly: "Why does it feel like you sincerely want to go home with me?" "After all, I can't let you squat for those twenty-eight minutes for nothing." His tone was very calm, but I always felt something was off. Just then, his phone rang. The screen flashed two words: "Queen Mother". He answered, and before he could speak, a powerful female voice came from the other side: "Son! Let me tell you, that boy Auntie Li introduced to you, he's a piano teacher, super handsome. I sent you his photo on WeChat, see if you like him!" Me: "???" Boy??? Arthur rubbed his temples: "Mom, I don't need it." "Why don't you need it? You're so old and haven't even been in a relationship once! Mom isn't some old fuddy-duddy, whether you like boys or girls, Mom supports you! This one is really super handsome, just meet him once..." "Mom, I have a girlfriend." The phone went quiet for two seconds. "What?!" "Really, you can come see for yourself right now." "Stop lying to me! Last time you said you had a partner, you brought back a cat!" I couldn't hold it in and burst out laughing with a "Pfft". Arthur shot me a chilling glare. The mom on the phone obviously heard it too: "Son, is there someone next to you? Who is it?" Arthur was silent for a second: "The cat." "..." "..." Me: "???" You're the cat! Your whole family is a cat! 8 After Arthur hung up the phone, he put on an apron and started cooking. I was still brooding over that "cat" comment. "Arthur, how am I like a cat?" Arthur glanced at me while chopping vegetables: "You squatting downstairs curled up in a ball, doesn't look like a cat?" I looked at him suspiciously. Could it be that he had been staring at me from upstairs the whole time? But I was too embarrassed to ask. Arthur chopped vegetables very quickly. His wrist bones were prominent, his knuckles like jade. And very agile. Seems like he's quite strong too. ? Why did my thoughts suddenly turn dirty? Sure enough, he who lies with dogs shall rise with fleas, and he who is near yellow gets yellow! Arthur skillfully heated the wok, poured oil, and stir-fried. In no time, the aroma of food filled the air. "Wow, I couldn't tell you knew how to cook." I started showering him with compliments. The corners of Arthur's mouth turned up: "There are plenty of things you can't tell." Holy cow, one compliment and he's already this cocky. "Can you cook?" He asked me while offering me a taste. Of course I can't. I took his offering with my mouth: "Haha, when I cook, I mainly focus on forfeiting color, aroma, and taste." Soon, the second dish went into the wok. Right then, the sisters in the group asked me how the battle was going over here. I sneakily took a profile photo of Arthur cooking and a photo of the food. Jessica sent a picture of a fitness pause: [Looks like a girlfriend-perspective Timothée Chalamet. No wonder they say cooking is the best plastic surgery for men. I'm not working out anymore, whoever wants to work out can work out, I'm going to be your fragile beauty.] Chloe sent a "666" emoji: [Sis, if you meet a culinary school chef, just marry him, you won't have to worry about food for the rest of your life.] Rachel, as always, types the slowest but drives the fastest. [Why are you serving dishes, serve him!] [Have you been in rehab? Being with such a huge handsome guy, can you resist?] The black text made my heart race. Just then, Arthur poked his head over: "What are you looking at, your face is so red?" I immediately switched to a study app interface, and said seriously: "Doing my daily study modules, party members are required to get a daily average of 30 points or more." He glanced at my phone screen and laughed: "So this is the reason for your total score of 300? Looks like you joined the party ten days ago?" I swallowed nervously: "No, no, the points reset every so often." Sure enough, one lie requires countless lies to cover it up. "Oh? Then why do my points never reset?" He opened his study app interface, showing a score of 51,753 points. His mouth was curled up, the corners of his eyes full of amusement, even carrying a trace of malice. Even that little canine tooth was rippling with mockery towards me. I gave him a thumbs up: "Teacher Gan, you're really amazing!" Hearing the word "Teacher", he quickly waved his hand: "Hey, I'm just teaching you this semester, don't call me teacher." I said fawningly: "How can that be? A teacher for a day is a father for life." "No, no, no!" Seeing how resistant he was to me calling him teacher, an evil thought popped into my head: "Since I can't call you teacher, and you're not my parent, how about I call you 'Brother'?" As soon as my voice fell. His face turned completely red in a second. This much fun? I leaned on his shoulder, deliberately whispering with a light laugh in his ear: "Brother." I saw his Adam's apple bob rapidly, his body stiffening. He abruptly lifted me onto the dining table, resting his hands on either side of my body. A gentle, abstinent aura gradually washed over me. "Mia, did you do that on purpose?" I didn't expect one "Brother" could make him react this strongly. I took the opportunity to wrap my arms around his neck: "Brother, do you like me calling you that?"
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