As the college entrance exams approached, my crush, to encourage me to study hard, made a deal. For every problem I solved correctly, I'd get a kiss. Later, my lips were red and swollen, and his buddies noticed. Facing the crowd's teasing, his expression remained flat: "We'll cut it off after the exams." Later, he asked me where I wanted to go for college. I thought about it, named a random city, and deleted all his contact info. When we met again in college, he pinned me fiercely against a corner wall. "You said you were going to Capitol City, but then what?" "Were you playing me?" 01 "I can't do it!" Late at night, in the school hallway. Ethan Vance, wearing a pristine white uniform, flipped through the past three years' college entrance exam papers with his long fingers. His expression was aloof, yet carried an inexplicable laziness. It made my heart flutter again; I liked him so much. I pulled at the sleeve of his uniform: "Hey, I said I'm done!" Ethan looked over, the corner of his mouth curling up lazily. "Yeah." "I can't do... mhm..." My lips were blocked by the boy. A clean, pleasant minty scent filled my nose. My heart pounded violently. Just when I was about to suffocate— The boy let me go, his thumb brushing across my lips, saying flatly: "Next time you can't solve the final problem, sit here." He pointed to his lap. My eyes lit up instantly! "I definitely will!" 02 The deal with Ethan originated from his parents and mine. We were childhood friends who grew up together. After my eighteenth birthday, even his parents started worrying about my studies. But I was mischievous by nature. Faced with his cold, boring tutoring, I would just rub my foot against his clean white sneakers. And say lazily: "Ethan, I'm so tired, I don't want to study." Ethan looked at me and grabbed my offending ankle. His tone as cold as ever: "What do you want?" I had liked Ethan for a whole ten years. He always had that lukewarm attitude. He indulged me like a neighborhood little sister. But that was it. After my eighteenth birthday, I suddenly developed a sense of "adult" rebellion. For the first time, I took control. I stood right up from the desk. And leaned close to him. I lightly caressed his pinky finger with my thumb. Once, twice... Until he couldn't take it anymore and pulled me down. We looked at each other at eye level. I smiled, still with that careless, willful look: "If I solve one problem, Ethan will give me a kiss, okay?" 03 To be honest, when I made that request. My heart was in my throat. But I didn't expect Ethan to actually agree. His handsome, regular features showed no emotion. He just nodded. "Fine, as long as it gets you to finish the work." At that moment, my immense joy was slightly dampened. Ethan might have a cold personality, but he always listened to his parents. Agreeing to my absurd request— Was probably just for their sake. But, I had always been careless. As long as I got to kiss him, it was fine. Who cares about the reason? And so it went. In the garden behind the track field. On the rooftop before evening study hall. And in the school hallway after evening study hall. Conservation of momentum, ion equilibrium in electrolyte solutions, solid geometry... We kissed wildly in places where no one was around. Even once when Ethan and I came out of the stairwell one after the other. We happened to run into his buddies. Their expressions were ambiguous and playful. Darting back and forth between Ethan and me. But they tactfully nodded to me. And didn't ask much. Thinking I was far away, they started teasing him: "Alright, Ethan, I was wondering why you wouldn't eat with us after school, or walk home with us after evening study hall." "So you were here keeping little sister company!" "You hid it well, when are you going to make it official?" In the deep night, the moonlight slanted down on the boy's aloof, handsome face. Making him look even colder and more refined. "What nonsense are you talking about?" He said flatly: "We'll cut it off after the exams." 04 The people around dispersed. I stood behind the stairs. For a long time, I couldn't snap out of it. Right. Ethan kissing me was just to complete a task. It wasn't because he really liked me. So what was there to be sad about? Wasn't it just for fun? Chloe, what were you expecting that you shouldn't have? My old brick of a phone suddenly rang in the empty night. It was a message from Ethan: [Where are you? Let's go home together.] I didn't hesitate and immediately replied: [No need, I'll walk myself.] Ethan didn't insist. When I came out, the empty street was deserted. I held my breath in my chest. And sent him another message: [We don't need to walk together anymore.] After a long while, he replied: [Okay.] 05 From that day on. Ethan and I still exchanged correct answers for kisses. But outside of that, I avoided him whenever possible. I stopped pestering him to eat together. To go to and from school together. Even when discussing college applications. I asked my parents to find an experienced senior to help me. And didn't go to him. When he came to my house, the senior was helping me look at related majors and explaining them. "You're a bit better at humanities, but the job market isn't great. You need to think carefully..." The senior was elegant and polite, his smile warm and gentle. Looking at him, I inexplicably thought of Ethan's sour face again. And then mentally slapped myself hard. Heh. There are so many guys, why do I have to think about him every day? I leaned closer to the senior, my voice sweet: "Mhm, I understand. Thank you, Senior..." The door was pushed open, and a ray of sunlight shone in. Perfectly illuminating our overlapping silhouettes. Ethan's handsome face tightened slightly. A moment later— He returned to normal. "We haven't done today's problems," he said flatly. I absolutely hated his expressionless face. I deliberately turned my head away: "I don't need you to teach me today, someone else is." Ethan's hand on the doorknob tightened. Then relaxed. "Mhm, fine." He left. Without even looking back. 06 He was ruthless. I swore I would never think about him again. But my mom rushed out and smacked me on the head. "How can you be so rude! Ethan teaches you every day, he's ranked first in the grade, gives you handwritten notes, and you treat him like that!" "Get over there and do your work, be a good girl!" I said goodbye to the senior, and was dragged kicking and screaming to Ethan's house by my mom. Mr. and Mrs. Vance were as nice to me as ever. Bringing me fruit, bringing me snacks. And even gave me a plush toy I loved. Their affection made me too embarrassed to continue my protest. I could only sit obediently in front of Ethan. In the sunlight, the angles of his face were sharp, only his eyes carried a faint teasing smile: "What? Not going to the senior anymore?" "None of your business!" I bit my lip, acting fierce: "Just explain your problems!" The smile in Ethan's eyes vanished, and he coldly explained the problems I needed to do today. I had actually practiced those problems privately many times. Originally, it was just to make Ethan fulfill his promise. The steps were already firmly etched in my mind. But today, while taking the test. I looked up at Ethan many times. The boy was bland, aloof, like a high-altitude flower. The kind I couldn't reach. Forget it. I raised my hand and deliberately wrote a wrong answer on the final step. "Done." Ethan slowly walked over and took a look. "Hmm?" "It's wrong, I guess. I'll go back and correct it. We don't need to..." I lifted my leg to walk out. But was suddenly pulled back by him. Picked up. And placed directly on... My long-awaited wish was fulfilled just like that, inexplicably. 07 My center of gravity was unstable. Afraid of falling, I could only wrap my arms around his neck. A sense of humiliation welled up in my chest. I struggled and hit him hard. The usually emotionless boy seemed exceptionally strange today. Proactive, fierce. He pressed against the back of my neck and threatened in a low voice: "Want them all to hear?" I instantly quieted down. In the parents' minds, I was the quintessential good girl. How could they know I was using math problems to... Ethan smiled in satisfaction and continued kissing. After a long time, my legs went numb. I asked weakly: "Why did you... mhm... what did I... do wrong?" Why was he doing this? "Yeah, it's a punishment," Ethan said. After a long time, I really couldn't hold on anymore, struggling to ask him: "When are you... mhm... going to be done?" Ethan was still rubbing against my lips, his voice cold but carrying an ambiguous undertone: "I can let you go." "But you're not allowed to see that senior anymore." The fire in my heart surged even higher. Who are you? You're going to cut ties with me after the exams anyway. What right do you have to dictate my social circle? But with my whole body still nestled in his arms, I had no choice but to be honest: "Mhm, fine, you, stop kissing." "Put me down first." But Ethan didn't move. Then he asked me another question: "Decided where you're going? What are you studying?" I looked into his eyes. Slowly, I named a city that had absolutely nothing to do with my dream college choices. "Capitol City." Ethan's gaze was faint, his hands resting behind my head. His tone lazy: "That's going to be tough." Me: ... Even now he doesn't forget to insult me. I pinched him hard: "Get lost!" The boy started laughing. His chest vibrating violently. 08 The next day, Ethan's desk was empty. "I heard he went to a competition training camp." "He's a genius, seriously." "That university in Shanghai already offered him a spot." "Why is he insisting on testing into Capitol City?" "Who exactly is in Capitol City?" My desk mate, Mia, mumbled in my ear. The hand holding my test paper trembled. I didn't speak for a long time. Just kept my head down, doing problems. The workbook was compiled for me by Ethan. Densely packed, it was entirely made up of my weak spots. So it was very difficult to get through. During the break, I was racking my brain. My phone suddenly vibrated in my pocket. I took it out, a message from Ethan: "If there's anything you don't know, text me." "Just send the page and question number." Looking down, in front of every single problem— There was a 1, 2, 3 written on them. My heart felt like it was touched by something. And then ruthlessly pushed down. I replied: "Okay." I turned and poked Mia. "Do you know how to do this problem?" Mia was holding a small mirror, adjusting her pretty hair. Her smile innocent and pitiful: "Babe, I failed math last time." "Are you sure you want to ask me?" Me: ... I just instinctively didn't want to ask Ethan. I didn't notice who I was asking. 09 For a whole two weeks. I asked every student in the class with good grades. Mia watched me running around like a headless chicken. Resting her chin on her hand, she said slowly: "By the way, aren't you and Ethan neighbors?" "Why don't you take your problems to him?" I froze. I hadn't contacted Ethan for over two weeks. I didn't look for him. And he didn't look for me. The empty chat box. Only my messages flirting with him remained. It felt like a lifetime ago. I gripped my pen and told the truth: "We're not that close." We just kissed. It's not like we're boyfriend and girlfriend. Mia frowned, looking confused: "That doesn't make sense, just a few days ago I saw you chasing him around every day." "You two even went to the stairwell together?" "How come you're suddenly not close?" I frowned. The old history of flirting was brought up. My face felt like it couldn't hide it. I forced a smile, pretending to be a clever imp. My tone nonchalant: "Oh, I did that on purpose." "You know my parents are very strict with me, they don't let me do this, they don't let me do that." "I just wanted to be rebellious." Mia was thoroughly confused by my explanation. She blinked, very bewildered: "So, you don't like Ethan?" "Of course I don't like him." I didn't give myself time to think. While talking, I folded up the problems I didn't know how to do. "It could have been a Liam, or an Oliver..." "As long as it made my parents mad, that's enough." Mia was completely stunned. Her gaze stared blankly at a corner behind me. I sensed something was wrong. And looked up. I met Ethan's gaze dead on. He was still dragging a suitcase. It seemed he hadn't even gone home, coming straight here. The boy was wearing a loose hoodie, his hair messy, his uniform thrown on carelessly. He looked like a very youthful, bad-boy heartthrob. His handsome face was tense, his gaze meeting mine deeply. My heart pounded. I didn't know how much he heard. After a long time, the corners of his mouth slowly curved into a smile. As if he didn't even see me. He walked straight to his seat.
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