I’m the kind of girl who crawled out of the gutter, damp and shadowed, yet somehow I landed Kian Wilde, the king of campus. Four months into our relationship, Kian’s beautiful first love, Sienna, transferred to our university just for him. During gym class, they were at it again, openly flirting for everyone to see. Sienna shot me a triumphant, challenging look from the corner of her eye. Students from several classes were pointing at me, whispering, waiting for the punchline. My face went pale. I shrank into a corner, head down, playing dead. But as soon as class was over, I shoved Kian into an empty classroom, slammed him against the door, and kissed him with a desperate, frantic hunger. “Next time you get that close to her,” I hissed against his lips, “I’ll kiss you senseless right out in the open.” 1 Kian’s lips were slightly swollen from where I’d bitten them. He frowned. “Maya, can you stop talking about kissing me senseless all the time?” “Besides,” he added, his voice tight with frustration, “I’ve already explained this. Our families are old friends. If Sienna talks to me, am I supposed to just ignore her?” That was his way of saying he wasn’t going to change. My anger flared hotter. I lunged at him again, my right hand snaking under his t-shirt, my fingers tracing the hard lines of his abs. A laugh, half anger and half amusement, escaped him. “Damn it,” he swore, pushing me away. “You’re insane. I’ve seen people cash in on a favor, but never this desperately.” —This relationship was me cashing in on a favor. A little over four months ago, Kian was nearly hit by a modified street bike on his way back to Aurelia University. I happened to be walking behind him and shoved him out of the way at the last second. Afterward, he thanked me and asked if there was anything he could do. “Can you be my boyfriend for a year?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper. Kian raised an eyebrow. He was the undisputed king of AU—tall, handsome, arrogant, and rich. Countless beautiful girls had thrown themselves at him, and not a single one had succeeded. And me? I was just another ordinary girl, the kind you see everywhere on campus, the kind who always keeps her head down. When he didn't answer, I quickly lowered my offer. “Six months is fine, too. If that bike had hit you, you might have been laid up for that long anyway, right?” He finally let out a sharp sigh. “Fine. Six months it is, my life-saver.” He had no idea. The entire thing was a trap I had designed just for him. The guy on the bike? I’d paid him with a year’s worth of my part-time job savings. And as the anchoring effect suggests, people are more likely to accept a lesser offer after being presented with a higher one. —All I ever wanted was six months. Outside, his basketball teammates were yelling for him to come to practice. I still held onto him, refusing to let go. “You and Sienna crossed a line. You have to make it up to me. Tonight, you have to do whatever I want, however I want to play.” He looked utterly exasperated. “I know, I know,” he said, trying to pry my fingers off the door handle. “Tonight, you can play all you want. Happy now, you little psycho?” 2 The sun was still bright when I finished my work-study shift at the library. My mind buzzed with excitement for tonight. I decided to head to the basketball court and wait for Kian so we could walk back together. “Maya Stone.” A voice called my name. I turned, surprised to see Neil Vance, the university’s other campus prince. I didn’t know him at all. Why was he talking to me? He walked up to me, a warm, gentle smile on his face. “We haven’t had a chance to talk since the chess tournament. This Friday night, the club is having a friendly match. I was wondering if you’d be interested in coming?” Oh, it was about the chess thing. The only reason I’d entered that tournament was for the $5,000 champion’s prize. A friendly match had no prize money. I looked down at my shoes, trying to think of a polite way to refuse. Neil added with another smile, “I was very impressed by you during the tournament. I was hoping I could take this opportunity to officially become your friend?” “Your friend?” I blushed, looking up at him. Because of my withdrawn, strange personality and my status as a scholarship student, I was something of a pariah at AU. I hadn't made a single friend in three years. And now, a god-like figure like Neil Vance wanted to be my friend. “Yes,” he said, his eyes softening as he seemed to notice my awkwardness. “A beautiful girl like Sienna is wonderful, of course, but a girl like you, Maya, is brilliant in her own right. You deserve to be appreciated, too. That’s what I believe.” My face burned hotter. What did he mean by that? It felt like he was implying something. “O-Okay,” I stammered. “I’ll be there on Friday.” His eyes lit up. “That’s great! Friday at seven, at the club room. I’ll be there waiting for you. I’ll see you the day after tomorrow.” “See you then.” I stood there for a moment, stunned by the unexpected kindness. Then, as he walked away, I silently began to follow him. 3 I rounded a corner and, just as I expected, heard a group of excited voices. “Neil, you’re amazing! She took the bait!” “She just got lucky in that chess tournament! Total fluke she won.” “Last time, that video of her soaked and exposed only went viral on the campus network. This Friday, I’m going to livestream it and make it ten times worse! I’ll make sure all the research institutes and companies see it. She’ll never get a decent job in her life!” “That’s enough,” Neil’s voice cut in, cold and sharp. “Just get everything ready. I don’t want any mistakes on Friday. Don’t give her any chance to recover.” ... Their footsteps faded into the distance. I stood alone in the cool evening breeze, a little disappointed. A story about the aloof student council president falling for me after a single competition was always too much like a cheesy drama. And to think, I’d actually wasted time worrying if it was too soon to move on to Neil when I only had a month left with Kian. So, the video of me in a white shirt, soaked by two buckets of water, had been his doing all along. But a livestream on Friday, huh? “What are you doing standing here?” A familiar, magnetic voice came from behind me. I spun around, a placating smile already on my face. “A student left their headphones in the library. I was just trying to catch up to her.” Kian frowned, his gaze flickering toward the distant figures of Neil’s group. “Let’s go,” he said, turning away. I quickly trotted over and took his hand, my fingers lacing through his. He tried to pull away but failed. “It’s a hot day. Aren’t you worried about sweating?” he grumbled. “Nope. I like you. I even like the way you smell when you sweat.” It was the kind of over-the-top flattery I always laid on him. He gave me a look of disgust but let me hold his hand. 4 We had already eaten on the way, so as soon as we got back to the apartment, Kian went straight for the shower. When he came out, he had nothing on but a towel wrapped low around his hips. He was six-foot-two, all broad shoulders and narrow waist, with sharply defined muscles. Droplets of water traced the V-lines of his hips before disappearing beneath the white towel. I swallowed hard and immediately ducked into the bathroom myself. After a quick shower, my hair still half-damp, I eagerly climbed onto his lap where he sat on the sofa. I kissed him like an addict getting a fix. Kian tilted his head back, letting me have my way, but his hands were just resting lightly on my back. I’d heard that when a man truly desires a woman, he wants to breathe in her scent, to pull her into himself until there’s no space left between them. Kian never had that kind of impulse with me. But that was normal. He was only with me out of obligation. And then there were the scars crisscrossing my body—burns from cigarettes, welts from a belt, rope burns, cuts from a box cutter... No one would ever desire a body like mine. But it didn’t matter. As long as I desired his body, as long as he still responded to my touch, that was enough. And in that department, Kian never disappointed. “Little psycho,” he murmured, his voice husky. “Weren’t you going to play with me? C’mon, show me what you’ve got, hmm?” ... 5 The next day, our classes were in different buildings. After we walked through the school gates, I stopped him. “Kiss me before you go.” He gave me a look that clearly said you’re insane. “Since when do you enjoy being a public spectacle?” I didn’t care. Today, I wanted the perfect college romance experience. To be kissed by the most handsome boyfriend in the world, in the gentle morning breeze, with the most adoring affection. It didn't matter if the last part was just my imagination. In my memories, it would all be real. I held onto his hand, refusing to let go. With a sigh, Kian relented. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. I heard the gasps from the students around us and saw Sienna, waiting a short distance away, throw her coffee cup to the ground in a fit of rage. “Kian, I love you,” I whispered, then turned and walked away, my heart soaring. I was in a fantastic mood all day. Even when, between classes, someone deliberately mentioned that Kian and Sienna had sat together. Even when someone else brought up that video of me, their eyes raking over my body with a disgusting leer. Even when another person “accidentally” spilled half their milk tea on my desk. Just like always, I kept my head down and silently wiped my drenched books, page by page. A girl came over with tissues to help me. It was the same girl who had spoken up for me back in freshman year when they had accused me of stealing an earring. I held up a hand to stop her. “It’s okay. I’ll do it.” If she got too close to me, she would become unlucky too. I was fine on my own. I didn’t like dragging others down with me. After my last class, I went to my part-time job at the McDonald’s near campus. Tutoring was a more popular and lucrative option for AU students, but every time I found a gig, the parents would receive an anonymous message about my “bad character.” So, McDonald’s it was. At 9 PM, my shift ended. As usual, I used my phone to order a meal, made it myself, and placed it in front of the little girl with the dirty face who was, once again, spending the night in the restaurant with her mother, scavenging for leftovers. Then I shouldered my backpack, found a public restroom, and changed into a black hoodie and sweatpants. I pulled on a black mask and work gloves, tugged the brim of my cap down low, and melted into the night, heading back towards the university. 6 Three hundred meters from the north gate of AU, there was a short, secluded alley. It was quiet during the day and practically deserted at night. Only students who rented apartments in that direction would use it as a shortcut. In a pile of trash at the end of the alley, I found the baseball bat I had stashed earlier. I hid in the shadows of a corner and waited. About fifteen minutes later, footsteps approached. The streetlight at the entrance stretched the person’s shadow longer and longer until it was swallowed by the darkness of the alley. My hand began to tremble uncontrollably. My heart hammered against my ribs. The moment the shadow was completely consumed, I swung the bat. “Ah! Who the hell hit me?!” “Agh, stop... stop hitting me...” “Damn it! If you want money, just take it! I’ll give you money...” Neil fell to the concrete ground with a scream. I gave him no chance to fight back. The bat rained down on the high and mighty student council president. He went from cursing, to negotiating, to finally just whimpering and begging for mercy. At last, I stopped. I stood over him, looking down at his pathetic, sobbing form with disgust. If this were Kian, he wouldn’t have made a sound, even with every rib broken. It would be nice if a video of Neil like this was posted online. Let him know what it feels like to be unable to hold your head up in public. I took a deep breath and quickly left the alley. I took a long, roundabout route, ditching the bat in a park trash can. I crossed two more streets, found another place to change back into my original clothes, and stuffed the hoodie, sweatpants, gloves, and hat into my backpack. I’d done this kind of thing long ago. It was all calm, practiced, routine. I had even tried to teach those two animals who gave birth to me a lesson like this. Though I’d only been beaten more severely for it afterward. Once everything was taken care of, I took a deep breath and forced a smile onto my face. Then I headed back to Kian’s apartment. 7 When I walked in, Kian was sitting at the dining table, scrolling through his phone. He looked up at the sound of the door. “Your shift ends at nine. What took you so long tonight?” I gave him a sweet smile. “We got a huge group order right at closing time. Probably some boss treating his overworked employees.” “Is that so?” He stared at me for a long moment, then shifted slightly, revealing a small cake on the table. “Bought this after the game. It’s from that place you like, right?” My eyes lit up. I kicked off my shoes and immediately launched myself at him, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Kian, you’re not just the most handsome boyfriend in the world, you’re the best!” “Don’t touch me until you’ve showered,” he said, pushing my face away with a look of disdain. I didn’t mind his attitude at all. I happily put down my backpack and started on the cake. It wasn’t expensive, just a simple cream square. When I was a kid, I’d always see other children eating them and wonder what they tasted like. After I got my college entrance exam scores, the first thing I bought with the small scholarship money was a cream square. I’ve loved the cloyingly sweet taste ever since. Kian watched me eat for a bit. “Is it really that good?” I nodded earnestly. “It’s good on its own, but because you bought it, it’s double good!” He snorted. “So easily pleased.” With that, he picked up his pack of cigarettes from the table and went out to the balcony. He hadn’t been a smoker before. He’d probably started in the last two months, around the same time Sienna had pulled strings to transfer from another top university. I heard she had always kept Kian on a string, and it was only my appearance as his "girlfriend" that had finally made her panic. But now that she had delivered herself to him, Kian was bound by his promise to me and couldn’t do anything with his first love. He was probably frustrated. I watched the hazy white smoke rings dissipate on the balcony and licked the cream from the corner of my mouth. Kian really was a decent guy. Once he agreed to something, he saw it through, no matter how much he disliked it. For the past five months, he had fulfilled every superficial aspect of a relationship that I had wanted to experience. So. I was willing to give him a little something in return. After my birthday next week, I would set him free ahead of schedule. After all, with Neil as a little appetizer, I was getting impatient to prepare the main course. 8 I had told Kian about my birthday weeks in advance. When the day came, I went back to the apartment after class. I showered and changed into the silk slip dress I had bought just for the occasion. I’d never dared to wear something like this in front of him before because of my scars. But this was our last time together, and my first real birthday. I wanted to experience the "romance" and "sweetness" I had always craved, in its entirety. I even put on some light makeup and a touch of perfume. Then I sat on the edge of the bed, scrolling through videos of lively birthday celebrations online, and waited for him to come home. By nine o’clock, he still wasn't back. He had told me his department head had suddenly arranged a dinner for the top students. He couldn't refuse, but he promised he’d find an excuse to leave by eight-thirty. Maybe the department head was hard to fool, I thought, shifting my weight. The silk would wrinkle if I leaned back, and my back was already aching. At ten, I messaged him. No reply. At eleven, I called him. No answer. At eleven-forty, he finally texted back. Sienna collapsed at dinner. I’m taking her to AU General. I’ll be back as soon as her parents get here. It would take at least twenty minutes to get back from the hospital. I stared at the message, my body stiff. I looked at the time. Then, barefoot, I walked step by step to the bathroom mirror. The reflection showed a girl with pale shoulders, arms, and chest covered in a grotesque web of old scars. Her face was darker and more lifeless than ever before. Why? Why couldn’t you just give me a perfect ending for our last night? Why, when you people already have so much happiness, can’t you stand to see me have just a little taste of it? CRASH! I grabbed the perfume bottle and hurled it at the mirror, shattering the reflection of that crazed face. Then I ripped off the silk dress, stormed to the storage room, and pulled out my suitcase. I punched in the code, changed into my black hoodie and sweatpants, and pulled on my hat and gloves. Finally, from an inner pocket of the suitcase, I took out a foldable military knife. After a final check, I glanced at the time again: 11:55 PM I gripped the knife in my left hand and pulled up my mask. My right hand reached for the doorknob. Click. The door was pulled open from the outside. 9 “...Dressed like that, where are you going?” Kian stood in the doorway, a bouquet of flowers in his hands, his eyes locked on me. His chest was heaving. He took a heavy step toward me, his gaze shifting to my hand. “What are you holding?” I was frozen solid, a statue. I stared back at him for a long time before my dry, tight voice returned. “Weren’t you waiting for Sienna’s parents? Why are you back?” “It wouldn’t be your birthday after midnight. So I floored it.” “Oh. I thought I was going to be spending my birthday alone again, so I was just going for a walk.” I forced a smile and opened my palm to show him the knife. “It’s not safe for a girl to be out alone, so I brought this for protection.” Kian stared at the knife for a long moment before finally closing his sharp, dark eyes. He held out the roses. “I messed up tonight. I’m sorry I’m late. Happy birthday, Maya.” I looked down at the bouquet and the small, elegant box nestled within it. “Thank you.” Inside, I put the flowers in a vase and opened the box. It was a beautiful, understated necklace. “Do you like it?” I nodded. Kian took it out and fastened it around my neck, then pulled me into a hug. Maybe it was my imagination, but the hug seemed to carry a hint of profound, relieved gratitude. He let me go and turned toward the bathroom. “I’m covered in sweat. I’m going to take a quick shower.” By now, the adrenaline had faded, and I remembered the state of the bathroom. I grabbed a broom, forcing another one of my placating smiles. “It was my first time using that perfume. My hand slipped and I broke the mirror. I’ll just sweep it up.” Kian paused at the doorway but said nothing. Later, when we were lying in bed, his body, still damp from the shower, pressed against me in the darkness. It was a rare occurrence. This was the first time he had ever initiated.
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