I’m a cat. A tuxedo cat, to be precise. And a damn feisty one. So when a sudden slap jolted me awake, I shot up, ready to shred whichever suicidal human dared to disturb my slumber. But then— Where were my claws? My fur? My magnificent, fluffy tail?! 1 "What the hell..." The voice that escaped my lips was human. A guy with wide, panicked eyes stared at me. "Who are you? What are you doing in my bed?" I was even more shocked than he was. Because I, a cat, had fucking turned into a human. His gaze drifted downward, and his face instantly turned crimson. "Holy shit, you're a pervert." He scrambled to his closet, yanking out a few pieces of clothing and flinging them at my face. "Put these on, for fuck's sake!" I glanced down at my own bare, smooth body. Hmph. So I’d lost my fur. Big deal. "I'm not wearing that," I said, tossing the clothes right back at him. "Only sissy tomcats wear clothes." The guy’s—Liam's—face flushed a deeper red. "Dude, stop with the drunken act, I'm begging you." "Drunken? I’m perfectly sober, you moron." "I'll count to three. You're getting dressed. One... two—" "No!" I snapped, then my voice faltered. "I... I don't know how." "...What?" I puffed out my chest. "Unless you help me." Liam took a deep breath, shaking a T-shirt open and trying to pull it over my head. "Arms up. No, those are your legs!" I thrashed wildly. "Murder! He's trying to murder me!" "Hold still," he growled through clenched teeth, hooking an arm around my neck to force the shirt on. My leg shot out in a powerful kick. He gasped, clutching his crotch as he doubled over, and I seized the opportunity to break free. But a second later, with a vein throbbing on his forehead, Liam lunged at me, a pair of boxers in hand. "I swear to God, today I'm gonna—" The door suddenly swung open. "Hey, Liam, the RA downstai—" Three guys stood frozen in the doorway, their words dying in their throats. The scene they walked in on: Liam, kneeling on the bed, brandishing a pair of patterned boxers, pinning down a disheveled me. Well, the human version of me. I was biting his wrist, my T-shirt hiked up to my chest, two pale legs kicking wildly in the air. "Our bad," the guy in glasses said, and slammed the door shut with a loud BANG. Liam froze. I shoved him off me hard. I tried to scramble down the bunk bed ladder, but my footing slipped, and I tumbled headfirst to the floor. "Hiss..." The pain made me want to lick my fur, but my tongue was too damn short to reach anything. "Useless human body." Liam leaped off the bed and clamped a hand over my mouth, his face pale as a ghost. He yelled at the door, "It's not what it looks like! This is my cousin! He's wasted!" A chorus of snickers came from the hallway. "Nice try, dude. Your cousin bites your wrist? You guys are into some kinky shit." "Get lost!" Liam grabbed a slipper and hurled it at the door before turning back to me, his voice a harsh whisper. "I don't care if you're a man or a demon, right now, you pretend to be drunk." I rolled my eyes. "But I haven't been drink—" Liam leaned in close, his warm breath ghosting over my ear. "Play along. Or I'll hand you over to the biology department for experiments." ...You despicable human. 2 The moment the door opened again, I channeled the feeling of hacking up a furball and let out a dramatic, dry heave before collapsing limply into Liam’s arms. "See? He's completely smashed," Liam said, patting my back a little too hard. "I was just getting him into some clean clothes." "Then why was he biting you?" one of them asked. "He..." Thinking fast, I threw my arms around Liam’s neck. "Bro! The ants... the ants are biting me!" It was true, too. A bunch of ants had bitten my balls just last week. Liam went with it, wrapping an arm around my waist. "See? He's hallucinating." His hand felt… nice. I instinctively rubbed my cheek against his chest. Wait, what was I doing? Where was my feline dignity?! I instantly recoiled, forgetting the clumsiness of my new body and slamming backward into the wardrobe with a loud thud. Someone choked back a laugh. "Liam, your cousin's pretty... lively." "Tsk. Seen enough? I need to get him changed." "Okaaay, changing," they chorused, backing out of the room with knowing grins. The last one even closed the door gently for us. Liam wiped a hand over his face. "What the hell are you?" I rubbed my bruised head. "A cat." "...What?" "A tuxedo cat. Male," I clarified. "You were flicking my balls this afternoon." "Oreo?!" he shrieked, then reached out and pinched my cheek. "Are you trying to die?!" I snapped my jaws at him. "It's really you..." Liam stared, dumbfounded, at the teeth marks on his hand. "This isn't a dream..." The next second, he grabbed my shoulders. "Listen, I don't care if you're Oreo or some other cookie, you are going to learn how to wear clothes right now." He shook the patterned boxers at me. "Lift your leg." "No!" I stumbled back. "That thing will squish my butt!" "Fine, go naked then. Don't blame me when they drag you off to a lab to be dissected." My courage vanished. "Fine, I'll wear it." I don't know how long we struggled, but by the time Liam had forced the last piece of clothing on me, I was exhausted and drowsy. "What kind of anti-cat design is this...?" Liam sighed, a sound of pure defeat. "I can't believe I'm teaching a cat how to get dressed." "Teaching? Does that mean you'll be responsible for me from now on?" "What kind of logic is that?! I'm kicking you out of this dorm the second I can. Go wherever you want." My eyes narrowed. I gracefully climbed back onto his bed. "I like it here." "Get down!" "Nope." I wrapped myself tightly in his duvet. "Or I'll tell the whole campus you abuse cats." "You're a person now, you idiot!" "But my soul is a cat's." Suddenly, the booming voice of the dorm supervisor echoed from the hallway. "Liam! I hear you have an unauthorized guest staying overnight!" We both froze. In a blur of motion, he yanked me off the bed and shoved me into the wardrobe. "If you make a single sound, you're dead." 3 He argued with the supervisor for what felt like an eternity. Long enough for me to start dozing off before her voice finally faded away. I peeked out from the pile of clothes and saw him slumped in his chair, looking like he’d just survived a natural disaster. Tch. Coward. It was dark in the wardrobe, filled with stacks of Liam's clothes. They were soft and smelled like him. I couldn't resist burying my face in a wool sweater. Damn, this felt amazing. Even better than that velvet cushion on the balcony of the girls' dorm. "Hey. Get out." Liam pulled the wardrobe door open. "Are you planning on having your kittens in there?" I clutched his clothes defensively. "I'm a tomcat, you moron! I can't have kittens!" "Then get out." "No~" I burrowed deeper into the corner. "It's dark and soft in here. The perfect cat nest." Liam looked like he'd just swallowed something foul. He reached in to pull me out, and I immediately flashed my nails. "Touch me again and I'll bite you!" "Fine. You win." Liam sneered and pulled out his phone. "I'm calling the biology lab right now. I've got a cat that's turned into a spirit." With a yowl, I shot out of the wardrobe and launched myself at him, clamping my hands over his mouth. "Shut up! Don't you dare!" The impact sent him staggering back two steps. His back hit the desk with a loud thump, and he winced in pain. We were tangled up, wrestling, when the dorm room door opened again. "Hey, Liam, is your cous—" The air froze solid. The guy with glasses stood in the doorway, his eyes wide and vacant. Liam: "..." Me: "..." Glasses guy: "...My bad." The door was slammed shut. Again. Liam's face was thunderous. He jabbed a finger at my nose, his voice a low growl. "From now on, you are my cousin, visiting from back home for a few days. Got it?" As the smartest cat on campus, I certainly understood the principle of "know when to fold 'em." So I smiled sweetly and rubbed my cheek against his chin. "Got it, bro~" 4 In the end, Liam let me sleep in his bed. I curled into a ball, instinctively seeking out the warmest spot. Which happened to be Liam. "D-don't get so close..." Liam's whole body went rigid. "What's wrong?" I mumbled, draping a leg over his waist. "This is how we cats sleep." His breathing hitched, growing noticeably heavier. "You're a person now." "So annoying," I grumbled, and simply flopped on top of him, burying my head in the crook of his neck. "There. Is this better?" Liam: "..." I could feel his heart hammering against his ribs, and his skin felt feverishly hot. "Are you sick?" I reached up to feel his forehead. He snatched my wrist, his voice raspy. "...Go to sleep." Tch. Humans are so complicated. But... he was pretty warm. 5 The next morning, they all left for class, leaving me—the cat—alone in the dorm. Ha. As if these foolish humans could cage me. I slipped out onto the balcony and shimmied down the drainpipe with ease. I nearly twisted an ankle on the landing, though. Damn, this human body had terrible balance. I swaggered across the campus grounds and spotted that stupid calico cat crouching by the flowerbeds. The one who was always trying to claim my territory. "Hey! You want to go a round today?" I called out. "I'll even give you a three-move head start!" The calico glanced up at me, flicked its tail, and turned its back, walking away. ??? "Hey, get back here!" I chased after it. "What's with the silent treatment? You pretending you don't know me?" The calico's fur bristled. It hissed at me, its expression one of pure terror, before scrambling up the nearest tree. I stood at the base of the tree, hopping in frustration. "Coward! Get down here and fight me one-on-one!" It stared down at me, its gaze the kind you give a total moron. ...No way. It really didn't recognize me? A sudden tightness squeezed my chest. I picked up a small rock to throw at it, but then, for some reason, I just let it drop. 6 When Liam got back, I was sprawled on his bed, stewing in a foul mood. "Here. Got you some food." He tossed a plastic container onto the bed. I lifted the lid and sniffed. Just as I was about to dig in, the image of the calico's dismissive stare flashed in my mind. Suddenly, even the fish didn't seem so appetizing. "Not hungry?" Liam raised an eyebrow. "I can give it to Mike." "It's mine!" I snatched the container back and began shoveling food into my mouth furiously. Liam sat down on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong?" "I saw that stupid calico today..." I slammed my chopsticks down, ready to vent, but Liam clamped a hand over my mouth. He glanced toward the other side of the room. Oh, right. The other roommates were here. "Tell me later," he whispered. I rolled my eyes and went back to my food. So annoying. As a human, you even had to watch what you said and where you said it. During the afternoon nap time, the dorm was finally quiet. Liam slipped through the curtain of his bunk and whispered, "Okay, you can talk now." "That moron calico actually—!" My voice shot up in anger before Liam slapped his hand over my mouth again. "Keep it down! You want to wake everyone up?" Damn it. I couldn't even be angry properly? Being human sucked. I lowered my voice to a seething whisper. "It pretended not to know me. I've been fighting that cat for two years! We just fought yesterday!" Liam blinked, then a snort of laughter escaped him. "What's so funny?!" I punched his chest. "You humans will never understand!" "I get it, I get it..." he said, trying to stifle his laughter as he reached out and gently scratched the back of my neck. !!! The sensation was so familiar it made my scalp tingle. Back when I was a cat, the girls on campus loved to pet me just like this. I would always tilt my head back involuntarily and start to purr... "Hnnn..." A soft hum escaped my throat, the sound curling at the end. Liam's hand froze. Mortified, I wanted to dig a hole and crawl into it. I decided to just go for broke and buried my face in his chest. "Keep going!" I could feel the rumble of his chest as he laughed, probably at me again. But his hand did start moving, stroking down my back, from my neck all the way to my waist. Damn... I couldn't help but nuzzle against him, then I remembered myself. "You're not allowed to tell anyone about this." "Tell them what?" he asked, feigning innocence. "That someone starts purring like a kitten after a few pets?" "Liam, I'm going to claw your eyes out!" "Shhh..." He covered my mouth again. "They're sleeping." I bit his finger in protest, but the bastard just took the opportunity to give me a few more good strokes. Fine. His technique was pretty good. I, the great Oreo, would graciously let it slide this time. After a thorough petting session, my anger had mostly subsided. I turned my back to him and mumbled, "Being a human is alright, I guess. I get a bed and fish to eat. I don't care about those stupid cats anyway." Liam gently wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on the top of my head. "Yeah. Being human is pretty good." "Especially with a personal servant," I added. "Hey!" "Shut up and keep petting." "...Yes, my lord." Hmph. That's more like it. I snuggled a little deeper into his arms. 7 A few weeks passed like this, and I had grown quite accustomed to human life. Liam dutifully served me every day. As my personal servant, he was... adequate. But the idiot had been acting strange lately. He hadn't petted me in three days. Not only that, but last night when I tried to snuggle into his arms like usual, he actually turned his back to me. And today, he didn't even bring me lunch. "Where's my food?" I blocked the doorway, glaring at him. Liam's face was a cold mask as he sidestepped me. "Buy your own." Buy my own??? I launched myself onto his back. "Say that again, I dare you!" Josh, one of his roommates, was watching with amusement. "Whoa, lovebirds having a tiff?" "Who's a lovebird with him?!" Liam and I yelled in unison. Liam peeled me off his back, hissing, "Knock it off, the guys are here." "Then get me lunch!" "Go yourself." "I don't know how to use the meal card!" "Learn." I was so furious I could feel my fur wanting to stand on end. This idiot was definitely doing this on purpose. Fine. If Liam was going to be a jerk, then I, the great Oreo, would be a jerk right back. He could forget about being my exclusive servant! That afternoon, Mike was eating fried chicken in the dorm. I immediately sidled up to him. "Can I have a piece?" "Sure, man." Mike grinned, holding out a drumstick. "Just call me 'bro' and it's yours." Hah. Childish human. "Broooo~" I cooed, deliberately rubbing against his arm. "Please~?" Mike's face went from red to white as he shakily pushed the entire box of chicken towards me. In my peripheral vision, I saw the pen in Liam's hand snap in two. Ha! Serves you right! That evening, when another roommate, Josh, came out of the shower, I pounced on him, sniffing his neck. "Did you get a new body wash? It smells so good." Josh stiffened. "Uh? It's... it's just regular lemon scent...?" "I love lemon~" In reality, the smell was so strong it made me want to sneeze, but to piss off Liam, I endured. Suddenly, Liam slammed the door and stormed out. Heh. Victory.
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