In the fifth year of our marriage, my husband and I started trying for a baby. I had just propped a pillow under my hips, adjusting my position, when his phone rang. Without a moment’s hesitation, he pulled away and started getting dressed. “A friend invited me out for a round of golf. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.” This was the 99th time our attempts had been interrupted. I looked at him and, to my own surprise, spoke. “Leo, let’s get a divorce.” The motion of strapping on his watch paused for a fraction of a second. He laughed. “You want to divorce me because I’m going to play golf?” I swiped open his phone and pointed to a chat message. “Can’t wait to get a hole-in-one with you tomorrow, big bro! ;)” Leo frowned. “Because of this?” I nodded calmly. “Because of this.” 1 “We’re just golf buddies, it’s slang. Why do you have to be so sensitive about everything?” he grumbled. “You bring up divorce every other week. When was the last time? Two weeks ago?” He stopped dressing and sat back down on the bed. “Fine. I won’t go. Happy now?” He sighed, his tone a mixture of exasperation and condescension, as if he were placating a petulant child. A humorless smile touched my lips. “I’m not joking,” I repeated. “Let’s get a divorce.” Leo’s brow furrowed in genuine confusion. “So I’m not allowed to have a hobby? I have to be attached to your hip 24/7? When did you become so unreasonable?” He stood up again. “If you don’t trust me, then come with me.” Without giving me a choice, he pulled me up, threw a random set of clothes at me, and drove us to the golf course. When we arrived, four or five people were already there, greeting Leo warmly. “Leo! We’ve been waiting for you. Hey, is this your wife?” “No wonder the papers are always talking about what a happy couple you are. Can’t even play a round of golf without her.” “I’m so jealous.” A young woman walked towards us, vibrant and full of life, every strand of her hair seeming to radiate energy. Her form-fitting sportswear hugged a curvaceous figure. In my drab, oversized coat, I felt completely out of place. “Your wife looks so sweet and gentle, Leo. You’re a lucky man.” Though I’d never seen her before, my gut told me she was the one who had sent the text. “Alright, let’s go! We’ve been waiting!” someone called out. Leo changed and joined them on the course, leaving me to stand on the sidelines like an awkward spectator. “Ah, so close to a hole-in-one!” “Too bad! Next time for sure.” “I’m determined to get a hole-in-one today!” “Nobody leaves until we get a hole-in-one!” The phrase ‘hole-in-one’ was tossed around constantly, as if to prove to me that it was nothing more than a common golfing term. During a break, Leo walked over, his voice laced with exasperation. “See? I told you it was just golf slang. Can you stop making a scene now?” Before I could answer, the young woman, Hailey, jogged over, her ponytail swinging. “Abby, why are you just sitting here? Come play with us!” “I don’t know how.” Hailey covered her mouth in an exaggerated show of surprise. “You don’t play golf? Oh, you have to learn! Leo is an amazing player. He’s the one who taught me everything I know.” She leaned in conspiratorially. “Leo loves golf so much. It would be great if you learned to play with him.” “I don’t like it,” I said flatly. Leo’s current success was something we had built together. When he was starting out, he had no money. I was the one who worked myself to the bone to support his dream. The first time I was pregnant, I was delivering food part-time to make ends meet. It was pouring rain, and when I arrived, a few drops of water had gotten onto the customer’s sushi. He was furious. He threw the box in my face and demanded I get on my knees and eat it off the floor. I turned to leave, but he grabbed a nearby golf club and swung it, hitting me squarely in the stomach. I miscarried. I never told Leo what happened. So he could play golf without a care in the world. But I couldn’t. I would never touch a golf club as long as I lived. A few moments later, Hailey and Leo walked off together. As they played, he would occasionally offer her guidance. From where I sat, his tall frame seemed to envelop her completely. There was a subtle, almost imperceptible physical contact between them, a restrained intimacy that crackled with unspoken chemistry. Soon, a loud cheer erupted from the group. “Leo got a hole-in-one!” “You have to buy us all dinner!” “Leo, you’re incredible!” Leo grinned, holding his club aloft. He then tipped all the caddies on duty—a generous five thousand dollars each. Five thousand dollars. That was how much I used to make working three part-time jobs for two months straight. After they finished, they all clamored to go out and celebrate. As we got to the car, Hailey quickly slipped into the front passenger seat. I paused for a second, then opened the back door. As the car started moving, Hailey seemed to suddenly remember me. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Abby! I get carsick, so I just habitually sat in the front. You don’t mind, do you? We can pull over and switch.” Leo’s voice cut in before I could respond. “It’s fine. If you get carsick, just stay there.” I swallowed the words on the tip of my tongue and slowly closed my eyes. After a sudden brake, something rolled out from under the seat and hit my foot. I picked it up. It was a used tube of lipstick. 2 The shade was bright and bold. Not mine. It was, however, very similar to the color on Hailey’s lips. How many times had she been in this car without my knowledge? The thought spun in my mind, but before I could come to any conclusion, Hailey suddenly clutched her stomach, her face contorted in pain. Leo noticed immediately. “What’s wrong?” Hailey was too pale to speak. “It’s not your period this week. Did you eat something bad? I’ll take you to the hospital.” Without another word, he slammed on the brakes. “Abby, Hailey’s not feeling well. I’m taking her to the hospital. You can get out here and find your own way home.” He practically dragged me out of the car, giving me no chance to refuse. Before I could even open my mouth to protest, the car had sped off, leaving me in a cloud of dust. My hands and feet were numb with cold. I stood frozen to the spot. He had forgotten that I’d rushed out of the house without my phone, without my wallet. He had simply abandoned me here. And yet, he remembered Hailey’s menstrual cycle with such perfect clarity. A bitter laugh escaped my lips, but it felt like all the strength had been drained from my body. Under the scorching sun, I began the long walk home. The oppressive heat reminded me of my second miscarriage. I had been wearing a heavy mascot costume, handing out flyers, when a speeding scooter knocked me over. I screamed for help, but my voice was muffled by the costume. By the time I got to the hospital, my second child was gone. I took the five hundred dollars in compensation money and gave it to Leo. He bought a decent suit for a networking event and landed a hundred-thousand-dollar contract. That night, he held me, ecstatic, completely unaware of what had happened to our baby. Later, when I told him, his eyes were red, his voice trembling. “Abby, our baby… is gone.” Two hours later, I dragged my numb legs to our front door and punched in the code. The first thing I saw was Hailey lying on the living room sofa, with Leo kneeling in front of her. He was holding a bowl of porridge, patiently feeding it to her, spoonful by spoonful. So gentle. So patient. I had seen him like this a thousand times, but never from a third-person perspective. Leo turned and saw me. His hand froze mid-air. He put down the bowl and walked over to me. “What took you so long?” I was on the verge of collapse, barely able to speak. “Water…” Leo immediately brought me a glass of water. I tilted my head back and drank greedily. The cool liquid soothed my parched throat, but a second later, I felt my airway constrict. The glass fell from my hand, and I clutched my neck, staring at Leo. “What… did you put in it?” “Honey.” The word left his lips, and then his face paled in horror. After some quick treatment to alleviate the reaction, I could finally breathe again. Hailey rushed to apologize. “I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault! I didn’t like the taste of plain water, so Leo added some honey for me. I’m so sorry it made you have a reaction, it’s all my fault…” After all these years, Leo knew all my preferences, and he was always so careful about my allergies. Whenever we ate out, he would meticulously check every dish. But now, he had forgotten I was allergic to honey. I lowered my eyes, my heart as still and dead as a stagnant pond. Soon after, Hailey left. Leo saw her out and came back in. I spoke again. “Tomorrow, I’m sending you the divorce papers.” Leo’s eyes widened, and he refused without a second thought. “I don’t agree!” Then, perhaps remembering what had just happened, his tone softened. “I was wrong earlier. I was in a hurry and I forgot. I’ll buy you a gift later to make it up to you.” The next day, I received a package. It was a golf club. 3 My blood ran cold. I threw the club as hard as I could. The pain of my first miscarriage was still so vivid. The feel of the golf club hitting my stomach, the sharp, searing pain. And then, the slow trickle of red down my legs. I had lost my first child before I even knew I was pregnant. Tears streamed down my face, my hands shaking uncontrollably. Just then, a message popped up on my phone. It was from Hailey. “Abby, do you like the gift? Leo asked me to help him pick something out to cheer you up, and I thought of this club. It’s a dream for so many golfers.” “What happened yesterday was my fault. I hope you can accept this gift and forgive me, and forgive Leo too.” So, even the gift to appease me was chosen by Hailey. But why, of all things, a golf club? I bit my lip so hard I could taste blood, the memory of my lost child overwhelming me. The front door suddenly opened. It was Leo. And behind him was Hailey. Leo saw my tear-streaked face and frowned, rushing towards me. “What’s wrong?” But then, Hailey shrieked and fell to her knees, cradling the golf club, which had snapped in two. “How could this happen? This was my favorite club!” she wailed. “I got my first hole-in-one with this club! How could it be broken?” She cried pitifully, hugging the broken club to her chest. Then, she looked up at me, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Abby, d-did you not like the gift? If you didn’t like it, you could have just said so. Why did you have to destroy it?” I was speechless, a lump forming in my throat. Leo’s cold, hard gaze was fixed on me. “Abby, even if you don’t like it, you shouldn’t waste someone’s kind intentions.” “Apologize.” He didn’t ask me why I was crying. He didn’t ask why I had broken the club. He just demanded that I apologize. It was a gift for me, yet I had no right to do with it as I pleased. The irony was suffocating. “Why don’t you just give her another hole-in-one? I’m sure that would make her feel better.” The next second, a sharp slap landed across my face. My head snapped to the side, my ears ringing. Leo had never hit me before. This was the first time. And it was for another woman. Realizing what he had done, Leo’s expression froze for a moment before his face contorted with rage again. “Abby, you’re getting more and more out of line.” I lifted my chin. “How am I out of line? All I did was repeat her own words back to her. Is that so out of line?” Leo’s chest heaved. “You know exactly what kind of filthy mind you have.” He then turned and left, taking Hailey with him. I managed a weak, humorless smile and began to pack my things. I had just finished typing up the divorce agreement when a wave of nausea hit me. I rushed to the bathroom and threw up. A few seconds later, I froze. 4 I didn’t know what to feel when I saw the two pink lines. After a year of trying with no success, now that I was leaving, I was pregnant. But even so, it wouldn’t change my mind. I would consider it a gift from the heavens. With a child by my side, I wouldn’t be so lonely. As for the missing father, I would do my best to make up for his absence. I left the divorce agreement on the table and walked out with my suitcase. But as I reached the door, I ran into Leo, his face dark and stormy. He saw my suitcase and sneered. “Just committed a heinous crime and now you’re trying to run away?” I was stunned. “What?” He grabbed my arm and dragged me to the hospital. “Abby, I never thought you could be so vicious. I told you there was nothing between me and her, but you were so jealous you had to destroy her life! Will you only be happy when she’s dead?” I couldn’t understand what he was saying. I struggled against his grip. “What did I do? What are you talking about?” “Still playing dumb?” Leo’s voice was like ice, his eyes devoid of any warmth. “You hired someone to take a golf club… and shove it inside her, to give her a ‘hole-in-one.’ Abby, don’t you dare tell me you didn’t do it!”
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