1 On my childhood best friend's birthday, I put on a new dress, did my makeup perfectly, and invited all our friends, planning to finally confess the feelings we'd shared for ten years. I waited from six in the evening until eleven at night. He never showed up. As everyone was leaving, I glanced into the private room next door and saw him locked in a passionate kiss with my best friend. I turned around, threw myself into the arms of the most popular guy in school, and sobbed, "Do you want to give us a try?" The day I was supposed to leave the country to study abroad with that same guy, my childhood friend ran up and grabbed my arm. "She told me that a little jealousy would make you need me even more! Please, don't go!" To hell with childhood sweethearts. This time, I'm rewriting my own script. I had spent an entire month preparing for this night. 999 paper cranes, each one inscribed with something I wanted to say to him. The walls were covered with photos I'd secretly taken of Leo over the years—sweat dripping down his face during a basketball game, him chewing on his pen with a goofy grin, and one time when he fell asleep studying, drool nearly pooling on his homework. In the center of the wall, surrounded by a halo of balloons, was a sign that read: "It's been ten years. Let's be together." I thought he would be moved, that he would hug me and say, "I've liked you for a long time, too." I never expected this. I sat there like a joke from six o'clock until eleven, and he never even came. My friends started exchanging nervous glances. One of the guys finally grumbled, "Can we just eat? I'm starving." The girl next to him kicked him under the table, then turned to me with a strained smile. "He's probably just held up at practice. You know how it is with athletes." The pity in her eyes was like a needle, making my face burn. "It's fine, you guys go ahead and eat," I said with a smile, my voice light, even as my heart sank into a cold, dark pit. The party wound down, and people started to leave. I was the last one out, my head spinning as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over me. As I passed the private room next door, I glanced inside out of habit and froze. Leo was there, holding Maya, his lips pressed against hers as if he wanted to devour her whole. Maya was my roommate. And my best friend. I stood there, a roaring in my ears. I wanted to storm in, to tear them apart, but my hand stopped on the doorknob. What right did I have? Was I his friend? His "little sister"? What gave me the right to question him? I turned to leave and stumbled into a waiter's tray behind me. Red wine splashed all over me, all over my new white dress, staining it a deep, blood-red. My friends heard the crash and came over. They saw the scene in the room and stood there, awkwardly silent. Someone handed me a napkin. Someone else looked away. Another pretended to be busy on their phone. After seeing them all off, I couldn't hold it together anymore. The heel of my high heel twisted, and I collapsed onto the sidewalk. The jar of paper cranes shattered, the glass shards cutting my hand. Blood mixed with the wine on my dress. All my strength left me, and I broke down, sobbing uncontrollably. Just then, a suit jacket was draped over my shoulders. I looked up to see a hand reaching out to me. It was Ethan. 2 I remembered he was one of the invited guests tonight, but he had been sitting quietly in a corner the whole time, so much so that I'd barely noticed he was there. He looked at my pathetic state, his hand still extended, and said, "Let me take you home." I took his hand to stand up and fell into his arms, clinging to him tightly. The tears came even harder, a messy torrent of snot, tears, and smudged makeup, all over his clean white shirt. "How could they?" I wailed, oblivious to the stares of passersby. "Why would they do this to me?" He didn't seem to notice the onlookers either. He just gently patted my back, soothing me like I was a frightened kitten. Back in my dorm room, I crawled into bed and shut my eyes, trying to will the night away. The door creaked open. Maya was back. "Ava!" she called out excitedly as she walked in. The blanket was pulled back to reveal her beaming face. "Leo and I are together! Aren't you happy for me?" Seeing my cold expression, she quickly added, "You're not mad at me, are you?" I looked at her. There was no guilt on her face, only a smug triumph. "I'm not mad," I said quietly. She let out a sigh of relief. "I knew you were the best," she said with a smile, then sat on the edge of my bed and started recounting their love story. "Last week, when he helped me carry my books, our fingers touched." "He remembered that I don't eat cilantro." "Today, in the private room, he said he'd been waiting for this day for a long time." "He kissed me first, you know. He'd had a little too much to drink and said he'd liked me since the first time he saw me." She was animated, her lips curved into a triumphant smile. As I listened to her go on and on, I thought about a month ago, when I was up all night folding those paper cranes for Leo. She had said to me then, "If a guy ever did something like this for me, I'd say yes in a heartbeat." I thought about how, just a few days ago, she had encouraged me, telling me that if I liked someone, I should just be brave and tell them. I just didn't realize she was talking about them, not me. "As long as you're happy," I sighed. She paused, seemingly surprised by my calm reaction. 3 Leo and I grew up together. He was an athlete from the school next door—tall, handsome, with a sunny disposition and dimples when he smiled. Every time he came to find me for dinner or to hang out, I could never bring myself to leave Maya alone, so the three of us became a familiar sight on campus. But Maya... She knew. She knew how long I'd liked Leo. She knew that for years, I had shared every secret, every flutter of my heart, every romantic fantasy with her, holding nothing back. She knew that today, in that very room, I was planning to tell him, "Let's be together." And yet, on the day of my planned confession, she was in the room next door, kissing the boy I loved. Maya continued to chatter in my ear. "Ava, please don't be weird about me and Leo getting together. We still think of you as our best friend!" "The three of us can still be just like before!" "If you're mad, it would make me really, really sad." My face was a cold mask. I couldn't be bothered to answer her. She looked at me, then asked tentatively, "Will you come shopping with me tomorrow? I want to buy matching couple outfits." I pulled the blanket over my head and replied coldly, "I'm busy." Undeterred, she tried to pull the blanket back, ready to say more. I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. A little while later, my phone vibrated. It was a message from Leo. "I'm the one who went after her. Don't take it out on her." "She thinks of you as a sister. What kind of friend are you being? She's been crying all night!" "Don't be jealous just because Maya and I are together. If you bully her again, we can't even be friends anymore." I stared at the screen, a sickening feeling twisting in my stomach. I remembered when we were ten, and he carried me home after I scraped my knee, promising, "I'll always protect you." On my fifteenth birthday, he gave me a basketball with "Wishing Ava a lifetime of happiness" written on it. After we graduated high school, he said, "I'll go to the university next to yours, so I can always look out for you." Those memories clashed with the image from last night, exploding in my mind. I clutched the corner of my blanket. It turned out the boy who grew up with me wasn't the person I thought I knew at all. 4 The next morning, I went to the dean's office to re-apply for the full scholarship to Oxford that I had previously given up. The administrator flipped through my file. "There you go," she said. "It would have been a real shame to let such a great opportunity go. I was afraid you'd regret it, so I never submitted your withdrawal form. See? Now you're back." She continued to chatter. "What is with you kids these days? Treating your futures like a game." "That Ethan kid, too. He got the spot, then gave it up, only to apply to the same school on his own… I just don't get it." My heart skipped a beat. "This spot… Ethan gave it to me?" The administrator nodded. "He did. His advisor and I tried to talk him out of it. He was so set on that school, but when he got the scholarship, he just refused it. Insisted on applying through the regular process. I'll never understand what goes through your heads." I walked out of the office in a daze, her words echoing in my mind. I didn't know Ethan well. I mostly knew of him from others—the campus heartthrob who dominated the university's social media every month, the genius who was always at the top of his class, and, rumor had it, from a very wealthy family. The kind of guy girls would steal glances at wherever he went. In my memory, he was always untouchable, with a warm but distant smile, maintaining a polite social distance from everyone. If we had any interaction at all, it was in the packed library before final exams. There was always an empty seat next to him, and since I was always late, I'd drag Maya to sit there. We had barely exchanged a few words. But I remember one time, I was stuck on a problem, so frustrated I almost ripped my textbook in half. Ethan, sitting next to me, "happened" to get up and leave just then. I glanced over and saw the complete solution written out in his notebook. I felt a little thrill of victory and quickly copied it down. Just as I finished, he came back and picked up the notebook he'd "forgotten." Another time, I fell asleep at my desk while working on an architectural model. When I woke up, a jacket was draped over my shoulders. I had always assumed it was Leo's. Now that I thought about it... Leo wasn't even there that day. How could I have been so blind, so certain that he was the only one who cared about me? Before, I was so wrapped up in my feelings for Leo that I was oblivious to everything else around me. Now, all these little details I'd never noticed before were coming into sharp focus. I thought about last night, how I'd cried all over him, my ruined makeup and tears smearing his shirt. My face started to burn. What an embarrassing memory to have. 5 To celebrate his new relationship with Maya, Leo invited our entire four-person dorm room out for hot pot. The table was laden with Maya's favorite dishes. He tenderly placed food on her plate, gently pushed her hair back when she leaned over, and wiped the corners of her mouth. He barely ate himself, spending the entire meal doting on her and watching her with a loving smile. Our other roommates sighed in admiration. "Leo is so good to Maya! It's like a fairytale romance!" "I'm so jealous! This is the cutest thing ever!" Maya playfully tapped Leo's arm and said to our roommates, "You know, I always thought Leo liked Ava. They grew up together, after all. But he told me they were really just friends, and that I'm his type." She said it casually, but her eyes kept flicking over to me. Leo chuckled, picking up a piece of beef and feeding it to her. "What did we know as kids? Ava and I are just like brother and sister." I kept my head down, stirring the food in my bowl, fighting the urge to roll my eyes. Suddenly, Maya turned to Leo, pouting. "I heard you built a little greenhouse in your backyard. Can you take me there later? I was always so jealous when Ava told me about you two going there together." My hand froze, my chopsticks nearly clattering into the pot. Leo's smile didn't falter. "Of course. From now on, I'll only take you." My fingers tightened, my nails digging into my palm. That was our secret place. A greenhouse Leo had built just for me. On my fifteenth birthday, he painted glowing stars on the glass ceiling and told me, "This place is just for you and me." I had nodded seriously, and I had believed him until this very moment. She turned to me, a bright, innocent smile on her face. "Ava, want to come with us?" Leo immediately interjected, "We're on a date. Why would we bring someone else?" I looked up at them, my voice laced with indifference. "No, thanks. I'm sick of that place." Their smiles froze. I had no interest in watching their little performance any longer. "I'm done. I'm leaving," I said, getting up from the table. A cold wind hit my face, making my eyes sting. I walked out and stood at the street corner, staring at my own shadow under the lamplight. I felt as lonely as a stray dog. 6 My phone vibrated. It was a message from Ethan. "The administrator told me you're going to Oxford too. Do you have time to discuss study abroad stuff?" I thought for a moment and replied, "Sure. Give me a minute." The place he suggested was my favorite dessert shop. When I pushed open the door, I saw him immediately, sitting by the window. His long, elegant fingers were tapping restlessly on the table, making him look a bit nervous. On the table was a slice of my favorite strawberry cake. "How did you know I like this?" I asked, surprised. His eyes darted away. "I just ordered randomly," he mumbled, but his ears were turning a telltale red. I leaned in, a smile playing on my lips, and studied his face. "Really?" I blinked. He froze completely. I was so close I could see the gentle flutter of his eyelashes and the faint dark circles under his eyes. He cleared his throat awkwardly and handed me a folder. "I'm also planning to go to this school, so I put together some information for you." His voice was steady, but his hand trembled slightly. I took the folder and opened it. Inside wasn't just course descriptions, but also study tips, a guide to living abroad, and even notes on the research interests and preferences of various professors in the architecture department. I looked up at him, shocked. "This must have taken you a lot of time. But how did a finance major manage to prepare all this for an architecture student?" He froze again, at a loss for words. I pressed on. "The administrator said you gave me your scholarship spot?" He was stunned for a second but quickly regained his composure. "It… it wasn't challenging enough," he stammered. "I wanted to test myself by applying through the regular process." "Is that so?" I said, a teasing glint in my eye. "Yes…" He picked up his water glass and took a sip, avoiding my gaze. "But… you're drinking from my glass," I pointed out. He froze, looked down at the glass in his hand, and his ears instantly turned a fiery red. He quickly set it down, stammering like a guilty schoolboy. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to…" I couldn't help but laugh. He was actually kind of cute. I picked up the bag beside me and handed it to him. "This jacket… you're the one who put it on my shoulders, right?" He opened the bag and glanced inside. His hand tightened around the handles, his voice barely a whisper. "You know?"
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