1 My new little snake won't stop headbutting me. Worried something was wrong, I frantically messaged the online shop I bought him from. 【Hi there! That just means your snake’s head is feeling a little itchy. Just give him a few more pets and he’ll be fine.】 I shot back a reply immediately. 【No way, I've already pet his little head so much it's practically raw.】 The seller: 【We didn't mean that head.】 A few days ago, the baby snake I’d ordered online arrived, and he was the sweetest, most docile little thing. I couldn’t resist. I placed another order. But the shop owner replied: 【Hey, so sorry, but that particular snake has been so popular it’s completely sold out. If you don’t mind, we could offer you another one of our precious serpents from the shop.】 I stared at the product page, which showed a sales count of exactly ‘1,’ and fell into a thoughtful silence. This had to be some kind of marketing gimmick. I was about to refuse when the picture they sent completely captivated me. It was a perfect shot of my absolute weakness: a man with a lean, chiseled torso, those V-lines disappearing tantalizingly below the frame. Coiled on his porcelain-pale skin was a baby black king snake, no thicker than a finger. The tiny serpent was latched onto a pectoral muscle, nursing so intently that it was completely oblivious to its crime being documented. I practically drooled. Ooh, and they were pink. They were both from the same shop, so how come this snake was eating so well? 【If you place the order now, we’ll even throw in a collection of the baby snake’s growth photos for free~】 【Does that include pictures of the abs?】 I typed back. 【Of course.】 I had to admit, their honey-trap strategy was first-rate. So pale, so… generous. I’d call him Snowy. I placed the order in a flash. Hilarious. There wasn't a trace of lust for those abs in my eyes—it was all pure, unadulterated adoration for little Snowy. Snowy and Inky looked so much alike; their personalities had to be just as sweet, right? The moment my payment went through, the seller played right along. 【Your order will be personally delivered by our model and owner! We hope you have a wonderful time~】 A warmth spread through my chest. The way they phrased it, you’d think if you bought the snake, they’d throw in the owner for free. 2 Less than half a day later, my doorbell rang. But when I swung the door open in excitement, I didn’t see the handsome model with the chiseled torso. In fact, I didn't see anyone at all. Deeply disappointed, I was about to shut the door when a notification popped up on my phone: “Your item has been delivered.” I glanced down and finally noticed a small cardboard box nestled among the clutter by my doorway. Inside the box was the pet snake I’d ordered. What happened to the personal delivery by the model-owner? Never mind not seeing him, but who just dumps a package like this on the doorstep? I was starting to get annoyed. I was seriously considering leaving a bad review. But Snowy was just too beautiful. And so clingy. The moment I opened the box, he poked his little head out and slithered up my arm without any hesitation. According to the girls in my snake-enthusiast Discord, when a snake willingly coils around its owner’s wrist, it’s a sign of trust. This was our very first meeting, and Snowy already trusted me this much. He was just as well-behaved as Inky! My heart swelled with joy, and all thoughts of leaving a bad review vanished from my mind. Cradling Snowy, I brought him over to Inky’s enclosure, hoping they’d get acquainted. Normally, Inky was timid and shy around new things. But this time, the second I placed Snowy inside, Inky immediately rolled over, exposing his soft underbelly. Inky seemed incredibly excited, constantly trying to snuggle up to Snowy. After a long while of being pestered, Snowy finally gave Inky's belly a brief, dismissive nudge with his head. His expression was one of pure disdain, as if to say, “Alright, you can get lost now.” I snapped a picture of the scene and posted it in the Discord server with the caption: “My new baby male snake seems to be getting along great with the resident! Any tips for a newbie raising a male?” Almost immediately, someone tagged me. I expected some helpful advice, but their comments were… suggestive. 【@Penny, girl, you’re eating well! And you got two of them!】 【These Serpents have so much energy, one is enough to leave me exhausted. You got two?! Girl, are you trying to get your back broken?】 【Once upon a time, I was an innocent soul who didn't know what a Serpent-brand powerhouse was. I’ve learned my lesson now.】 【They look so much alike, I can’t even tell them apart. I heard Serpents are jealous creatures. Yours don’t fight?】 I took a moment to reply: 【Nope, they’re both very good.】 My response was met with a chorus of envy in the chat. 【You must have them well-trained! Mine won’t even let me look at my phone! He gets so jealous and tells me that for every minute I’m on my phone, he’s adding ten more rounds.】 【Ugh, same! He’s only been letting me catch a break because he’s pregnant and sleepy lately. That’s the only reason I have a second to reply to you guys.】 【Same here, just like my man.】 【Everyone knows Serpents have two… you know. So you’ve got two Serpents, which means four! Whoa, girl, are you even gonna survive that? Will you be okay?】 I felt a little weirded out. What did they mean, “will I be okay?” And those other women… did the snakes tell them all that in a dream or something? It was a bit much. How could a snake possibly talk? But to keep the peace in the group, I just ignored that last comment and replied to the one before it. 【No, I have one female and one male.】 The chat instantly exploded. 【Damn, girl, you’re playing on expert mode!】 I exited the chat, feeling utterly bewildered. The girls in that group were definitely strange. Thankfully, someone with more experience sent me a private message. 【This male looks quite a bit larger than the female. Are you sure you bought a baby snake?】 I replied: 【Don’t they look the same size?】 The response was swift: 【You really are a complete newbie, aren’t you? Didn’t you know that male snakes of this breed are several times smaller than females of the same age?】 【Judging by the size, you bought an adult male. The seller probably scammed you.】 Most buyers preferred to raise serpents from when they were babies. Very few would buy a fully grown male. For one, adult males had trouble bonding with a new owner. And two, any good adult male wouldn’t be on the market. If he was being sold again, it meant his stamina and endurance were probably lacking. Otherwise, why would his previous owner give him up? Besides, buyers had a thing for raising serpents from the start. A male who’d had too many owners was considered undesirable. But I didn't really care about any of that. It wasn't like I was looking for a husband. It was just a pet. Still, I was definitely going to leave that seller a bad review. 3 The Discord server was a goldmine of daily tips for raising serpents, and I learned a ton from it. Ever since I got my two little snakes, I found myself sneaking peeks at the group chat during my work breaks. 【Hey guys, my snake has been a little down lately. Any suggestions?】 【That’s easy! A little physical affection solves everything. Just give his little tummy a good rub.】 【There are still good people in this world.】 【OMG, girl… that’s way too spicy. I just gave him a little touch, and things got completely out of hand.】 I put down my phone. I’d noticed my two serpents had been off their food recently. One morning, I even woke up to find them coiled on my chest, nuzzling against me. I’d asked the group about it, and they all said the same thing: the snakes were hungry. But the food I left in their bowls remained untouched. Seeing how highly everyone praised belly rubs, I decided to give it a try myself. That evening, I called my two little ones over, ready to put the theory into practice. Everyone said it was best not to keep serpents in a tank, or they might get depressed, so mine had free roam of the house. Right now, though, they were nowhere to be found. I called their names several times, but neither appeared. I tried calling again. Since I often had trouble telling them apart, I’d given them little hats to wear for differentiation. This time, there was a stir. A moment later, a snake with a tiny pink hat slithered up to me. It was Snowy. I gently poked his little head. He didn’t flinch, just stared up at me with those big, round, innocent eyes. I placed Snowy on my lap and flipped him over to expose his little belly. The sudden movement seemed to stun him for a second. Usually, he was the one showing me his belly to be cute; I’d never been the one to initiate it. When Snowy snapped out of it, he excitedly wrapped his body tightly around my hand. I started by gently stroking his tiny tail before moving on to his belly, using the rubbing technique I’d seen in the group chat. The texture was incredible, so soft and yielding. I couldn’t resist giving it a little squeeze. At that, the tail that had been coiled tightly around my fingers went slack, quivering faintly as it rested against me. Seeing how well it was working, I happily continued rubbing lower. I’d heard that if you rubbed them just right, you could make them squeak. I’d only ever heard them hiss, and the thought of a little squeak made me incredibly curious. But before I could find the right spot, the little snake suddenly arched his back and began to thrash wildly. He was trembling so violently that I thought I must have hurt him, so I eased up on the pressure. But then, he started shaking even more intensely. And in a flash, he wriggled free and darted away. Did the belly rub work? Maybe he ran off to eat? I couldn’t find him anywhere, so I decided to let him be and turned my attention to calling for Inky. Ever since Snowy arrived, Inky hadn't been as clingy as usual and was harder to summon. I had to call his name several times before he finally, sluggishly, appeared. Inky’s little blue hat was askew, threatening to fall off with the slightest movement. Looking closer, I saw that his entire body was trembling uncontrollably. Putting this together with Inky’s strange behavior over the past few days, I knew at once: Snowy had been bullying him! I had no idea where Snowy had scurried off to. After a long search, I finally found him curled up asleep in his little bed. Without a second thought, I scooped him up. “Snowy, were you bullying your sister?” He tilted his head, a look of pure confusion on his face. A tiny head, filled with big questions. He looked like he was about to burst into tears. My heart melted at the sight of his pitiful expression, but I knew I had to set some ground rules for Snowy. I forced myself to be firm. “You’re the big brother. You can’t bully your little sister. Look how miserable she is,” I said, pointing towards Inky. Snowy followed my finger. He saw “Inky” swaying unsteadily, looking as if he was about to faint. Seeing “Inky” in such a state only seemed to confuse Snowy more. Though he clearly didn't understand what was happening, he dutifully nuzzled my fingertip and then rubbed his soft little head against my palm as if to soothe me. This soft, cuddly little thing was trying to comfort me. My resolve crumbled. I let him off with a warning not to do it again. But my little sister still needed comforting. To make it up to her, I gave her an extra-long belly rub. The whole time, “Snowy” kept cheekily nuzzling against me. I just pushed him away, my face impassive. “No. Didn’t I just give you a belly rub?” The little guy scurried away in a huff. Even by bedtime, “Snowy” hadn't shown his face. I knew the little guy was sulking, but I didn't go looking for him. I just snuggled up with “Inky” and went to sleep. He was a big boy snake. A real man. There was no need for all those tears. 4 I didn't sleep well that night. In my dreams, I kept hearing a man’s voice, soft and gentle. “There, there, Mommy didn’t mean it. It must be because you keep climbing onto her at night, begging for milk. She’s not getting enough sleep, that’s why she got upset with you, baby.” The reply was a barely audible hiss. The man chuckled softly, his voice a low murmur. “Daddy only eats because Mommy lets him. Mommy didn’t say you could.” The hissing grew louder, punctuated by the rhythmic thump-thump-thump of a snake’s tail hitting the floor. The force was so great it sounded like it might crack the tiles. “I’m not lying. Be a good boy and go to sleep. If you don’t, Mommy will get angry with you again.” At the man’s words, the temper tantrum stopped. The sounds ceased. The little snake seemed to say something. But the man refused without a moment’s hesitation. “No. You’ve had more than enough today. No more. If you drink it all, what will Mommy have? Daddy needs to save some for Mommy, too.” Ever since that day, I made a habit of giving my two little snakes regular belly rubs. But lately, I noticed that even the usually clingy Inky was ignoring me. He’d also developed a habit of stealing my extra-sweet bubble tea. Every time I woke up from a nap, the milk tea I’d ordered before I fell asleep would end up in his stomach. And how did I know? Well, Inky was too dense to destroy the evidence. I’d always find the empty cup in his little bed. Stealing my bubble tea was one thing, but now he was addicted to the internet. He’d skip meals just to watch videos on my tablet. I’d even set a passcode, but somehow, he always managed to unlock it. The girls in the Discord said this was all normal, but I was still worried about his eyes. Conversely, it was the usually proud and aloof Snowy who was now constantly seeking my affection, acting cute and cuddly. One day, I came home from work to find Snowy curled up in a perfect little doughnut shape, waiting for me by the door. I gave his soft little head an absentminded pat and then went to the sofa to find Inky. Sure enough, there he was, nestled in his bed, engrossed in the tablet. I tiptoed up behind him, curious to see what he was watching so intently. I thought maybe he was watching something that was teaching him bad habits. Instead, I found him watching the same video on a loop. He’d even saved it to his favorites. I leaned in closer. This time, Inky noticed me. He seemed to have a bone to pick with me, agitatedly pointing his little tail at the screen. I followed his tail and read the text on the video. 【The following behaviors are actually the serpent deliberately acting cute.】 【The serpent world has its own manipulative charmers.】 【When a serpent frequently tilts its head to look at you, dear owners, do not be fooled! It’s just putting on a cute act!】 I glanced at Snowy, who was, at that very moment, tilting his head to look at me, and I couldn't help but laugh. Every single point seemed to be aimed directly at him. Inky must be jealous. Given Inky’s clear dissatisfaction, I decided to give him the first belly rub of the evening. He was unusually excited today, acting as if it were his first time. He kept pointing his little tail here and there, completely different from his usual self. With Inky happy, now Snowy was displeased. He kept "accidentally" brushing his head against me. Soon, even belly rubs and head pats weren't enough. He started bumping his head against me. At first, I just thought he was being playful and told him to stop messing around. “Behave now. Settle down.” He did settle down, for a bit. But later that night, Snowy was still restless. 5 I was woken up by Snowy nuzzling me. The spot he chose was so… awkward. Blushing, I fished him out from under the covers. "You little pervert, you can't rub there." He seemed to be doing it unconsciously, his eyes looking at me with a dazed, confused expression. His body felt hot to the touch. In the haze of sleep, I thought I felt Snowy's tongue flick out. "Are you hungry?" I asked. The little snake didn't answer, just kept bumping his head against my palm. The force was light, but something felt very, very wrong. I posted in the Discord server, but the replies were not very helpful. 【Mine’s never done that before. First time I’ve seen it. Is he hungry?】 【Mine hasn’t either. Maybe he’s sick? You should ask the seller, they should offer some after-sale support.】 Thankfully, it was the weekend, so even though few people were online, a couple of kind souls replied. Following their advice, I reached out to the seller, not sure if they’d even reply at this hour. I hesitantly typed out my message: 【Hi, I think something’s wrong with my snake.】 To my surprise, they replied instantly: 【Hi there! Can you describe the problem in detail?】 I was thrilled. 【He keeps headbutting me, and he was rubbing against me while I was sleeping… oh, and his body temperature is really high! Is he sick?】 【Could you be more specific? For example, where did he headbutt you, and where did he rub against you?】 I felt a flush of embarrassment. 【Well… here and there…】 【…】 It took a long time for the seller to reply. When they finally did, their diagnosis was: 【Hi there! That just means your snake’s head is feeling a little itchy. Just give him a few more pets and he’ll be fine.】 I immediately shot back: 【No way, I've already pet his little head so much it's practically raw.】 The seller: 【We didn't mean that head.】 After a patient explanation from the seller, I finally understood. Snowy was in heat. I was starting to panic. Snowy’s temperature was getting higher, and he kept trying to burrow into my clothes. 【So what do I do?】 【You do it!】 I felt like their answer was completely useless. I was still clueless. 【Is there a video tutorial or something? I don’t know how!】 【? I’m sorry, but we don't provide video tutorials for that. Besides, saying too much could get our account banned.】 【If you… really want one, you could try looking for a link online.】 No way. How would I even search for that? Where would I even look? 【Girls, emergency! Does anyone know what to do when a serpent is in heat?】 I typed furiously, clamping my legs together, terrified that Snowy would find his way inside if I wasn’t careful. I could only hope someone in the group would send me a link soon. It was one of the same girls from before who replied. 【What else can you do? You do it!】 【How?! This is my first time dealing with this! Can someone send me a video? Or even a text guide would work!】 【LMAO, I'm dying. This is the first time I've ever seen someone ask for something like this. Must be your first time, huh?】 【Yes! Can someone seriously send me a video? My snake is starting to chew on my clothes!】 【I got you, girl, I got you! I’m looking for one now!】 My sisters, my saviors. A two-hour-long video link quickly popped up in the chat. 【I won’t show you the rest, don’t want to get reported. Of course, if you’re worried you won’t get the angle right, I can DM you a tutorial video.】 This comment brought out all the night owls. 【Damn, you really don't see us as outsiders, do you!】 【Woooow, you’re eating well too! Your Serpent is a dark-skinned muscle man!】 【That video is so well-shot, it’s making me want to drag my own snake over for another round.】 I felt like I’d been thrown a lifeline and quickly tapped the link. But the sounds that came from my phone almost made me throw it across the room. What the hell? What kind of video was this?! And on the screen… why were there two people?
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