He Bought His Secretary a House, and Lost His Wife

My husband bought his secretary an apartment. That apartment was built on the land where our first home, the one that got demolished, used to stand. From its window, you could look out and see the little bungalow where we first started our business. The day I had my car accident, he was with his secretary, celebrating her housewarming. I called him sixty-five times. All I got in return was: “Luna, I’m busy. Don’t bother me.” 1 I found out Alex was cheating because his secretary “accidentally” messaged me. Alex and I had matching profile pictures; she must have sent it to the wrong person. “Boss, how come your old lady didn’t bring you lunch today?” Alex had a sensitive stomach, so I went to his office every day at noon to bring him food. I’d kept up this habit for fifteen years. Our company had gone from that little bungalow to a towering high-rise. Every time I came to the office, he’d hug me and whisper his thanks: “Luna, marrying you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Two minutes passed. The message wasn’t deleted. Then she sent another: “Oh, I’m so sorry, Luna. Sent that to the wrong person. My bad.” It felt like a taunt. I stood downstairs from his office building, holding a thermos of hot chicken soup, feeling a chill creep over me. It was as if the past fifteen years were all a joke. Just then, Alex called: “Honey, I’m starving. Why haven’t you brought my lunch yet?” His voice was still so gentle. But my hands wouldn’t stop trembling. I frantically clicked on his secretary’s social media profile, searching for any clue, any trace. I didn’t have to look hard. Pinned at the top of her feed was a picture of a pair of hands holding a bouquet of roses. On the inner side of the fingers of one hand, the letters ‘LU’ were tattooed. The tattoo was faded, a bit blurry. I recognized Alex’s hand instantly. I tried to remember the last time he’d given me flowers. It must have been over ten years ago. 2 Alex came downstairs to find me. He slung an arm around my shoulder and took the thermos of soup. “Honey, your cooking is the best…” He didn’t finish. His gaze froze on my phone screen. The words caught in his throat. After a moment, he managed to croak out: “Lu, you’ve misunderstood.” “That was a company event. I gave flowers to all the employees.” I hadn’t even said anything, and he was already making excuses. He was clearly feeling guilty. I knew this secretary of his. In a way, we had a history. A few years ago, before I became a full-time homemaker, I was the HR manager at the company. She was a fresh college grad, very sweet, always smiling. Her resume was too thin; I hadn’t planned on keeping it. But Alex happened to come looking for me that day, saw her, and told me to give young people more chances. He said she reminded him of me when I was younger. Her name was Lucy. Even her name was similar to mine. Alex had those charming eyes that always seemed to hold a deep affection, no matter who he was looking at. Back then, the way he looked at Lucy and the way he looked at me – there was no difference. I was still lost in thought when a warm embrace enveloped me. Alex always hugged me when he wanted to comfort me. He whispered in my ear: “Honey, there’s really nothing between her and me.” “If you don’t trust me, don’t you trust our fifteen years together?” Fifteen years. From a twenty-year-old girl. To thirty-five, with wrinkles forming at the corners of my eyes. After my parents died unexpectedly, I dropped out of college and started the business with Alex. I taught myself accounting, HR, IT… For our work. I studied so hard I got severe conjunctivitis. All our business partners praised me, called me an iron lady in the workplace. But now, I didn’t have the courage to question our relationship. “Alex, can you honestly say you haven’t wronged me?” I asked him. Alex clumsily opened the thermos and started gulping down the chicken soup. Then he coughed, choking on it. “Cough… Honey, I really didn’t cheat. Believe me.” His way of showing affection was always a bit awkward. In that moment, I didn’t want to dig deeper. He repeatedly promised it wouldn’t happen again. He even called Lucy down to apologize to me in person. Lucy was thinner than when I’d last seen her a few years ago, wearing a pair of black-rimmed glasses. She looked less like an office worker and more like a student. She apologized sincerely: “Luna, I was just joking around with someone else and accidentally sent it to you. Please don’t misunderstand.” She was so earnest. It made me look like I was the one being unreasonable. Standing on the street, I felt utterly alone. Suddenly, I didn’t love him anymore. Our marriage felt like a beautiful silk brocade. In that instant, it was suddenly crawling with maggots. For all these years, my life had revolved around another person. I didn’t know where I could go if I left him. I said to him gravely, “Alex, I’ll trust you this one time.” 3 My trust crumbled faster than I thought. That night, when I got home, I found a used lip gloss stick on the nightstand. A sheer watermelon pink, a color I would never touch. I didn’t cry. I just let out a short, sharp laugh. I felt ridiculous. Maybe it was time to end it. When Alex came home, I had already packed my bags. He had just loosened his tie when he saw me dressed in a sweatsuit. “Honey, where are you going?” He froze, his brow deeply furrowed. “Just going out to clear my head.” I smiled and greeted him. Like any other ordinary evening. He sensed something was wrong and blocked my way: “Honey, are you still mad about what happened today?” “Lucy’s young and doesn’t know any better. You don’t need to be so petty.” I looked at him seriously. In our marriage, I had always been the understanding and tolerant one. I always believed that unless it was a matter of fundamental choices, there was no need for us to fight. Later, I read in a psychology book. The real breakdown of a relationship isn’t arguing. It’s indifference. Maybe I hadn’t loved him for a long time. I just hadn’t realized it yet. “Alex, you brought her into our home. Why are you still pretending to be so devoted?” I pointed to the lip gloss on the nightstand, my voice mocking. Alex’s face darkened, and his hand instinctively went to his stomach. He always got stomach pains when he was nervous. It was his tell-tale sign of guilt. “After all these years, let’s at least give each other some dignity.” He didn’t speak. He gripped my shoulders, trying to snatch the suitcase from my hand. I couldn’t match a man’s strength. He pulled me back into the house. He left a bright red five-fingered mark on my arm. The air in the room still smelled faintly of chicken soup. I had made the soup at noon to his liking, waking up early to buy a fresh, organic chicken. I had lived this day-to-day life for so long. He finally lost his temper, shouting at me irritably: “Luna, that’s enough! Stop being unreasonable!” “Look at you, acting like a crazy woman! I give you all the money I earn, can’t you be a little more rational!” Was I the one in the wrong? I stared straight at him. Until he flinched. Rewind fifteen years. No, not even that long. Just five years ago, before I quit my job. He would never have said those five words to me: “that’s enough.” I smiled and pushed his hand away. “You slept with her in this bed, didn’t you? I’m tired, Alex.” His eyes were bloodshot. “Honey, I love you so much!” “Please… don’t leave me! I just had a moment of weakness. She looks so much like you when you were young. I just love you!” Such a noble-sounding love. I told him, “But I don’t love you anymore.” 4 I drove away from home. Alex’s car followed me the whole way. When I pulled over at the bungalow on the outskirts of town, he got out too. He’d worked all day and was exhausted, dizzy. “Honey, stop this nonsense. Where would you go if you left me?” “These past few years, apart from Lucy, I haven’t done anything to wrong you. Can’t you just cut me some slack?” I took a deep breath. I tried hard to control my emotions and said to him: “Alex, I am an independent person, not a pet you keep. Is that so hard to understand?” Hearing my words, he actually laughed. “Alright, honey, I promise I’ll fire Lucy tomorrow. You’ll always be the lady of this house.” Even at this point, he still thought I was just throwing a tantrum. Hopeless. Before I could say anything, his phone rang. He glanced at it and quickly silenced it. I knew. It was Lucy’s call. Seeing she couldn’t reach Alex, Lucy started messaging me on social media. I waved my phone at him. “Want to see this together?” Alex’s face was pale. He shook his head instinctively. I opened the chat. She hadn’t sent any text. Just over a dozen pictures. From a few years ago when she first joined the company, to becoming Alex’s secretary. Her, snuggled against Alex’s shoulder as he slept. Them, out shopping, Alex buying her a necklace. Documenting their happiness in photos. Alex’s charming eyes still looked so full of affection. Five years. Right under my nose, Alex had been cheating on me for five years. I pressed my hand to my chest. My heart was beating furiously beneath it. This heart, no longer young, was heaving under a tide of despair. Alex still loved me. He’d worry about me being in danger, tailing my car for half an hour in the dead of night. He loved Lucy too. His heart was broken in two, given to different people. I looked up. The sky was overcast; it looked like it was about to rain. Alex didn’t say anything, just took an umbrella from the car door and held it over my head. He was always so considerate. My phone pinged. It was from Lucy. She said: “Luna, I think we need to talk.” 5 In the diner, she sat across from me. The wife and the other woman, sitting together calmly. Quite a strange scene. She cried as she spoke to me: “Luna, I didn’t want to ruin your relationship. I just really like him.” Liking someone else’s husband? Not exactly a commendable habit. I looked at her, amused. “What do you like about him?” She hesitated for a moment, then spoke timidly. “The boss, he’s rich, and handsome. And actually, he’s a good person. Apart from me, he hasn’t been with anyone else.” Handsome and rich? I almost laughed out loud. I couldn’t help but remember when I first met Alex, years ago. He’d pulled several all-nighters trying to get his startup off the ground, looking disheveled, slumped over his desk. I made him congee, and he forgot to eat it even after it cooled. Finally, he was so tired he practically passed out into the bowl. Would Lucy like that version of him? She tried to persuade me: “Men, you know, they all like younger women. Luna, I’m not asking you to forgive me, and I don’t want to take anything from you. I’ll leave your lives. I just hope you can forgive the boss.” I shook my head and told her, “I’ve already prepared the divorce papers. I hope you and he can be happy.” Her eyes flickered. She bit her lower lip, as if wanting to say something. “Luna, I truly want the boss to be happy.” What had Alex done to deserve such devotion from a young girl like her? “I can feel that the boss still loves you.” “Luna, who in this life isn’t just settling, just getting by?” She had a look of someone facing death with resolve. Lucy really was a lot like me. From her features to her demeanor, even her love for Alex. So much like the me of years ago. I asked her, “So what are you planning to do? If you don’t work at Alex’s company anymore, where will you go?” She blushed: “Luna, I won’t hide it from you. The boss bought me an apartment. I can do some freelance projects on my own. I can manage to live alone in the future.” An apartment?

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