
The scream ripped through the air at my birthday party, a raw, animalistic sound. Tiffany, the fake daughter, stood there, a cake knife clutched in her hand, slashing at her own face. Blood streamed down her cheeks as she sobbed, “Ashley, look… now do you hate me less? I'm begging you! I'll leave, I swear! I won’t ever try to steal your family’s love again. Just… don't make me go with those guys…" The scene froze everyone in place. My parents and brother, even more than the other guests, looked like they wanted to kill someone. Under their horrified stares, they publicly announced they were sending me away to a "therapeutic boarding school." In that place, beatings, electroshock therapy, it was all routine. Forced to drink someone else's piss, choke down rotten food, and even worse... endure the constant "correction" from those twisted "counselors." My body and mind were broken down, reshaped into something unrecognizable. A year passed before my family finally remembered the daughter they’d shoved into the shadows. When they finally came to pick me up, all I could do was cower on the ground, whispering, "I'm sorry, please forgive the dog. I know I messed up. I'll take any punishment, just… please be gentle…" 1 My legs trembled as I limped out of that hellhole. My brother, Chad, was leaning against a black SUV, waiting for me. They’d cleaned me up, dressed me back in the skirt I’d arrived in. You couldn't see a trace of what I'd been through that past year. Before telling me they were sending someone, they'd forced me to eat, fatten me up. They'd put makeup on me, covered all the scars. Seeing me just staring at him, not even calling him “Chad”, he frowned, grabbing my arm. "What the hell are you doing? You knew I was coming. You made me wait two hours!" "Ashley, you're still acting out? You want to go back to that place?" Hearing the anger in his voice, the thinly veiled threat, my eyes widened with terror. I instinctively jerked my arm away, my face turning paper-white. I dropped to my knees in front of my brother, thud, thud, thud… I started banging my head against the asphalt, begging for forgiveness. "Master, I'm sorry! The dog made you unhappy…" "Your shoes are dirty, the dog will clean them for you…" I started crawling towards his feet, wanting to lick them clean. Chad suddenly recoiled, stepping back, a look of disgust on his face. "Ashley, what the hell is wrong with you?" His gaze was icy, like shards of winter. It sent shivers down my spine. The memories… the horrific memories flooded back. This was the sign. They were going to punish the disobedient dog. My hands went to my skirt, pulling it up, whimpering like a dog. "Woof woof… Master, please don't be mad! The dog will be good, obedient…" "The dog knows she messed up, please punish her lightly…" Chad looked completely shocked. He bent down, grabbing my hand, yanking me to my feet. His face was a mask of anger. He was practically spitting the words: "Ashley!" "You still haven’t gotten over it, have you? You are doing this just to piss me off, aren’t you?" I was trembling, tears streaming down my face. Angering them meant only one thing: brutal punishment. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! Don't hit me, I'll be good, I promise…" "I messed up, I know! I shouldn't have been bad, I know I messed up!" Smack! Chad slapped me hard across the face. "Enough! Shut up!" It was the first time he’d laid a hand on me in three years. If it had been the old me, I would have retaliated. But now, I just shrank back, then started slapping myself, harder and harder. Each slap was a silent promise, a desperate attempt to erase the transgression. I bit down on my lip, tasting blood, but I didn't dare make a sound. 3 The moment I arrived at the school, I took down the people who tried to take advantage of me. Then they used electroshock batons on me, beat me with sticks and whips for three days straight. When I was hungry, I could only eat sour rice, when I was thirsty, I could only drink the others' urine. Once I was lucky. A "trainer" came to vent his frustration, got drunk, and I grabbed his cell phone. I remembered Chad’s number and called it, begging him to take me home. But he just said, "Ashley, we agreed on a year. It's only been a few days. Tiffany has suffered so much, this is hardly anything." "Just be good, okay? Lose the princess attitude." I could hear Tiffany crying in the background. "Ashley’s just confused. It was my fault, I stole Mom and Dad from her. She can punish me all she wants…” "Can't you guys forgive her? I am not Ashley from now on. I just want to go far away to live a normal life." Before I could say anything else, Mom and Dad were yelling. “Chad! Can't you see Tiffany is getting upset? Hang up! Don't take Ashley’s calls ever again!" "We said a year, she'll stay a year. She comes home when she’s learned some manners.” The phone hung up and I was despaired. I learned later that the whole family was preparing to fly to South Korea with Tiffany for plastic surgery. Mom and Dad announced that they would always love her. But I, from the beginning, never fit in. This has been true for three years. 4 I started hitting myself harder, my face swelling. "Stop it!" Chad grabbed my hands, his eyes burning with anger. "Ashley, are you this desperate now? "Did you do this in there, trying to gain their sympathy? It won't work!" "Those people are experts, Ashley. I told them everything, they won't be moved by your pathetic act." Hearing Mom and Dad mentioned, I realized it was Chad. "Chad... It's you..." Chad froze, his face darker. "Don't act dumb! It's only been a year, you haven't forgotten me, have you?" "We just want you to be better. Why are you trying to disgust me?” "I recorded you slapping yourself. You can't pin this on me!" Three years ago, I was brought back to the family. Tiffany would hurt herself, and say don't blame me. Then she broke Dad's vase, broke Chad's toy blocks, saying it was all me. When I explained myself, they said. Don't blame others. This happened on my birthday party last year. "I can't believe you tried to hurt Tiffany! Don't try to blame others!" I felt the pain and my throat was dry. Chad grabbed me and put me in his car. When we got home, Tiffany ran to my arms in a white dress. "Ashley! You are finally back! I missed you so much!" But she hurt my wound and said quietly. "You dare to come back? If I were you, I'd kill myself." I felt pain in my wound. Why is she doing this? What for! I pushed her away, ready to yell at her. "Oh!" Tiffany acted like I would do that and she fell. Her head hit the stair and blood came out. "Ashley, it's been so long. Are you still mad at me?" She cried and blood came out to her white dress. "Ashley! You have been acting. You are still so evil!" Chad kicked me away, hugging Tiffany and going to the living room. Tiffany shrugged on his shoulder, mouthing at me: (I will make you go away.) 5 Next second, she cried and my parents came. They tried to help her until Chad said I hurt her. My parents paid attention to me. “Mom, Dad, don't blame her. She ate well in the school, but there are so many rules. She is not free, so she is upset." Tiffany cried for me and my father was upset. He walked to me, slapping me. "Ashley, what did you learn in one year?! How come you are so evil? Why hurt Tiffany?" My ear was buzzing and I almost fell. Hearing "evil", I kneeled. "I am sorry... I am sorry!" "I was wrong, don't hurt me, I know I was wrong..." The torture was nothing to me. My respect, pride, were all gone. Dad did not expect this, so he just stood there. I knocked head, and Chad helped me up. "Enough! Don't act dumb." "You recognize you were wrong, we will celebrate for you and let's eat!" Mom watched me and said. "Ashley, why are you so thin?" I was scared and looked at my rice, no looking at the meat. I did not want to eat, I dared not to. I ate cold food and leftovers for the whole year. I did not listen, so I did not have food. Sometimes I looked in the leftovers. Once, they dropped a chicken leg to the table. I grabbed it but I was forced to get under the table. My arms and legs were tied, and then I was ashamed. I learned after that. The delicious food was not free. I dare not touch. 6 Seeing me shivering, Mom sighed, getting a chicken leg for me. "Good girl, eat." Seeing the chicken leg, my eyes got big and I shivered. I reflexively stood up, hugging head and getting under the table. "I don't want to eat... Please." My parents were shocked. They watched me and I was shivering. "Ashley!" Chad was fast, getting me out. I push his hand and screamed. "I am sorry! Don't shock me!" "I will be good, I will listen..." I lay on the ground and started to take my dress off. Chad got me up. He was angry. I dared not to move, so I smiled. "I will not move, I will listen. Don't shock me, don't burn me, okay?" Because I fought back, so I was shocked and I lost feeling. People put wax on me, hitting me. I had no strength and bit arms and they forced hot cigarette on me. Chad grabbed my mouth and looked dark. "What are you talking about?" I thought he would burn me with cigarette, so I screamed. Seeing me out of control, my family got the doctor. I got dizzy, but I did not want to sleep. If I slept, something scary will happen. "She got hurt mentally or physically. "And she is malnourished. She needs a dietician." "She needs to see a doctor. This could cause after effects." Tiffany cut the doctor. "We arranged the school well. They should take care of her. Why is she like this?" "No, Miss, she is..." Chad cut the doctor coldly. "Enough! Wang, you joined her." He watched me and realized what was up. "Ashley, I am impressed! You even bribed the doctor!" The doctor froze. "Young Master, you misunderstood..." "What am I misunderstanding! She is not sleeping! She gave you money?" Dad looked upset. "My daughter was there for one year, she is healthy. It won't be like you said." Mom sighed. "Ashley, why are you doing this?" Tiffany cried. "Mom, Dad, she is harder to control. My head hurts..." Chad grabbed my hand, dragging me out. "She is not sorry. Let's send her back!" "No! I don't want to go back! Please!" I freed myself, trying to run. Chad grabbed me. My dress was broken. A lot of scary wounds showed.
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