My new roommate was a total phony. Whenever we were on our phones, she'd sneak up behind us, watching our texts. She'd always be the first to grab a bite of anyone's snacks, but she’d hide in bed after lights out to eat her own. She never bought shampoo or body wash. It was always, "Can I borrow your body wash?", "Can I use your shampoo?", "Can I have some of your laundry detergent?", and then, eventually, "Do you have any tampons I can use?"... I bought a MIUMIU bag, and she kept saying how much she loved it. A few days later, she bought the same one! Turns out, she switched my real bag with her fake one, then accused me of using a knockoff! We had a huge fight, and I demanded she give me back my bag. Instead, she cut my real bag to shreds! Furious, I went to the Resident Advisor (RA) to complain. The RA told her to pay me back, but she started spreading rumors behind my back that I was a prostitute and a mistress! She even leaked my phone number, so I kept getting texts asking how much I charged! I was livid. I grabbed her and demanded she clear my name. She just laughed and mocked me, saying: "You think you're so rich? Showing off in front of me? What do you have to show off now? I can't stand you! Why should you have a good life?!" I realized she was doing it on purpose. I pounced on her! We got into a scuffle, and we both fell out the window. When I woke up, I was back when she first moved into our dorm room... 1 "We've got a student transferring into this dorm. Make her feel welcome." Our RA, Ms. Evans, introduced us to Brittany. She gave us a shy smile. "Sarah, can you help Brittany settle in? She's new to the class, and she might need some help adjusting. You guys are in the same club, so it should be easy for you to get along." I gave the RA a polite, but apologetic smile: "Sorry, Ms. Evans, I'm busy with my senior project right now. I don't have time. Maybe Ashley and Brittany can hang out. The three of us are in the same club." Last time around, Brittany spread rumors about me, and Ashley was right there to add fuel to the fire. I couldn't figure out what I had done to make Ashley do that, stab me in the back like that. But whatever. Let the phony and the backstabber fight it out. Last time, Brittany and I had been pretty friendly, at first. We went to the cafeteria together. I'd save us a table, and she'd get the food. I told her I hated cilantro and to get anything without it. She came back with a cilantro chicken burrito! I asked her what was up. Did she forget? Brittany looked at me with big, innocent eyes. "I didn't forget! But, Sarah, the cilantro chicken burrito is so good! Just eat the chicken, don't eat the cilantro! It's fine!" I had to go get another burrito. Later, I told her that Professor Miller wanted us to come to room 503 in the library at 5 PM tomorrow for a meeting. She blinked at me, all innocent, and asked, "Why does she want us to come at 5 AM?" I told her it was 5 PM. She almost started to cry. "It's already 6! Why are you telling me now?" I took a deep breath and told her it was 5 PM tomorrow. She looked down and mumbled, "Okay." I thought that was it, but a minute later, she looked up and asked: "What room did you say?" "503!" "In the library or the student union?" Me: ... "The library!" I thought I was being clear, but she didn't show up to the meeting. Professor Miller called her and told her to come. When she finally got there, she accused me in front of everyone of deliberately trying to exclude her and not telling her about the meeting! I was so mad. She was such a phony! A phony who couldn't understand a word you said! After that, our relationship went downhill fast, and it ended with both of us falling out the window. This time, I'd just leave her to Ashley. Let those two bitches tear each other apart. 2 Like attracts like, and Brittany and Ashley hit it off immediately. Ashley helped her unpack, and they huddled together, gossiping and giggling. I figured they were just two birds of a feather, and they could keep all their drama between them. But Brittany was a phony through and through. She was impossible to deal with! Soon, everyone in the dorm was sick of her! Every night, she'd stay up until all hours, either watching TV or playing video games. And when she played games, she used one of those clicky keyboards, and it was so loud, it kept everyone awake. And she always got up at 3 or 4 AM to use the bathroom. The toilet flushed loud, waking up the whole dorm. Being woken up in the middle of the night sucked! It was hard to go back to sleep! We had to get up and go to class the next morning. How could we handle it? Me and my other roommate, Chloe, decided to have a talk with her. We tried to be nice and told her to keep it down at night. Brittany burst into tears. "Chloe, Sarah, if you have a problem with me, just tell me! You don't have to do this!" Ashley chimed in, sticking up for her. "Yeah, come on, we're roommates! Why are you being so petty? Brittany just got up to pee! It's a human need!" Chloe and I looked at each other, getting even angrier. You're not the one getting woken up every night! You sleep like a rock and snore! Brittany heard Ashley's words and got even bolder. "Well, I haven't said anything about you guys getting up at 7:30 in the morning, making all that noise and waking me up! We're roommates, shouldn't we be understanding of each other's schedules?" WHAT?! We got up at 7:30 because we had to go to our early-morning class! Was that wrong? Chloe was speechless. I had a sudden sense of kinship with her. The argument went nowhere. Brittany even started dropping things on purpose when she got up in the middle of the night, making more noise! Chloe and I bought earplugs to try and deal with it. Chloe thought we should try to be tolerant. After all, we were roommates. But I knew Brittany was just going to get worse. The higher they rise, the harder they fall! I was just waiting for her to dig her own grave. 3 After about a month, it was time to pay the electricity bill. Usually, we just split it evenly. But of course, Brittany had to make a scene. "I'm not paying! I never turn on the lights in the dorm, and I charge my phone and laptop in class. I barely use any electricity. Why should I have to pay as much as you guys?" Chloe and I were stunned. "Didn't you get any use of the lights? Didn't you feel the AC?" Brittany rolled her eyes. "I didn't ask you to turn on the lights and AC! You decided to do it. Why should I have to pay for it?" Chloe was furious. "Then leave when we turn on the lights and AC! Don't enjoy the results of our money!" Brittany looked at us with her innocent eyes. "What do you mean? Are you trying to kick me out of the dorm? I paid my rent. Why shouldn't I be allowed to stay here?" What kind of logic was that?! She was a phony! I was sure of it! I couldn't hold back anymore. "Nobody's trying to kick you out, but you need to pay your share! Are you that broke? Can't you afford a few bucks for electricity? Are you a freakin' beggar?" Brittany started crying even louder. "You're insulting me! How could you say that!" I laughed. "I'm insulting you? Look at what you're doing!" I stormed to the closet and pulled out the laundry machine. "Brittany! I've never met someone so gross! How long have you left your clothes in the washing machine! It smells, you know!" Brittany rolled her eyes and covered her face. "Waaaaa... You look down on me!" Chloe saw the situation in the washing machine and got mad too. Before Brittany came, we bought the washing machine all together! It was ok for her to use it without paying for it, but she didn't even dry the clothes she washed, just letting them stink. And she also used our washing machine to wash her shoes! Ugh! It was too gross for us to use the washing machine anymore! Chloe couldn't stand it anymore. She grabbed one of the wet towels in the washing machine, a towel that smelled gross. She used two fingers to drag it into Brittany's bed: "Smell it! Smell this gross stink! Who would look up to you now?! Your mom would look down on you!" I looked at Brittany with contempt. "I agree. You didn't even pay for our washing machine! Why we should let you use our washing machine!" Brittany shrieked that we were bullying her. She ran out of the room, causing the other students to watch us. I intentionally looked at the door and said: "Brittany! Don't say we bully you! Who has ever heard of a roommate who doesn't share the electricity? By the way, your clothes smell! You let them rot in the washing machine!" Last time, everyone trusted Brittany and complained about me. But this time, I took the first step and made everyone know what kind of guy Brittany was! 4 Ashley must have said something to her. Brittany came back as if nothing had happened. She didn't act politely. She still focused on our stuff. I knew that she did this, so I hurried to store my expensive Estee Lauder products. I put a bottle of SK-II product on my desk. I put hydrogen peroxide in the bottle. Let her steal it! Humph! Let her make her face ugly! But Chloe didn't know what to do. She carelessly put her Clarins products on the desk. Brittany despised Ashley's cheap skin-care products. Brittany started using the products Chloe bought and even used Chloe's cleanser and toothpaste. Eww! She even applied Chloe's cream on her feet! She used the hand that she used to rub the skin to apply the cream on her face! So gross! Last time, she must have done the same thing to me, so I was even more disgusted. Before I knew it, my face was closed to her foot skin. Yuck! Moreover, she was sharing the products she stole with Ashley! Ashley even used the cream that Brittany applied to her feet! Wow! Who were these garbage people? Did they even have a conscience? I laughed with anger. That's why Ashley said bad things to me last time. Ashley even used the skin-care products that Brittany stole! They were so cunning! Last time, I killed Brittany, and I didn't settle my account with Ashley! This time, they would never get away with this! I secretly took videos of her stealing the products and sharing them with Ashley. Then, I sent the videos to Chloe. 5 Chloe was furious. She couldn't believe that Brittany was stealing our products. She pulled my hands and asked: "Is Brittany a beggar? Does she have a problem in her head? She stole my skin-care products and my toothpaste! Also, she used her foot to rub the skin, so gross! I will ruin her face!" She bought new products to replace the stolen ones and locked all of our skin-care products and wash-care products. When Brittany noticed that we locked our products, she even had the nerve to ask: "Sarah, Chloe, why did you lock your products? Who do you want to prevent?" I rolled my eyes. "Can you guess?" Brittany said: "Anyway, you are rich, so you should give us some, what's the matter, you are stingy." I said unhappily: "What about we are rich? Our money is earned by our parents! Our money is not from the wind! Our money is not for the thieves who take others' products without permission!" Chloe agreed and said: "Some people's faces are thick! They use other people's products without permission. They use other people's products as if their products were free! So gross!" Brittany kept silent. After a while, she came back with two bags of fruit tea. She gave us one cup of fruit tea: "I felt bad for that thing. I want to buy you some drinks so that you won't be angry." She gave us drinks of the top brands, each worth thirty dollars. She put straws into the drinks and gave us the drinks. "I want to say sorry to you, you can taste the drink, it is so delicious." She added that there were grapefruits and strawberries in the drinks and that the drinks were super delicious. Brittany smiled and said: "There are grapefruits and strawberries in the drinks, and the drinks are super delicious, right?" Chloe's expression changed. "Didn't you say there were no citrus products?" Brittany winked her eyes: "Right, there are no oranges, but the grapefruits are not oranges." Chloe's face became red. "Quick, call 911. I am so allergic to citrus products, and I will be breathless! Quick call 911!" My face became pale. Severe allergic reaction will kill people! While I was calling 911, Brittany said: "Is that so serious? Is she acting? I only added some grapefruit juice. She is acting so scary, trying to deceive someone." I was both angry and nervous and pointed at her nose: "If she has a problem, you will be in trouble!"
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