The day I returned to the States and attended a college reunion. I inevitably ran into my childhood sweetheart and former love, Carter. After two years, he hadn't changed a bit. He was always the center of attention wherever he went. I was about to go over and say hello when I overheard his friends gossiping about me. "Carter, the guys and I made a bet. That Vance girl who's so desperately in love with you? The first thing she'll do when she gets back is come crawling to you, begging to get back together." "Man, you have the best luck. All these women constantly orbiting you. What's the saying? You've got eight slices of cake; you can divvy them up however you want." Carter noticed me walking toward him through the crowd. He smirked and said: "Don't worry. Vivian can't live without me. Didn't she just obediently come back to the States just for me?" I walked right up to him and ruthlessly shattered his arrogant delusion. "Who said I came back for you? I came back because my family arranged my engagement party here. "I'm getting married, Carter. Regardless of everything, thank you for keeping me company all those years." 1 "Even though I genuinely wish I could erase every single day I spent with you." My words wiped the smiles off everyone's faces. Carter's face turned especially dark. "Vivian, watch what you say in public. Stop throwing a tantrum. What engagement? Are you just trying to make me mad the second you get back? "I know I made mistakes before, but you know Sarah and I are just friends. I haven't even seen her since you went abroad." "Yeah, exactly! Vivian, I can vouch for him. Carter really cares about you. Honestly, he hasn't been doing great these past few years while you were gone." Carter's friends scrambled to smooth things over. If this were two years ago, seeing Carter try so hard to explain himself, I probably would have nodded with tears in my eyes and forgiven him instantly. But our relationship ended long before I ever left the country. "It doesn't matter. Who you see and where you meet them has absolutely nothing to do with me anymore. "Oh, right. You actually know the guy I'm engaged to. You two probably haven't seen each other in a long time." "Who?" "What?" "I'm asking you who you're marrying!" "Ethan Sterling." 2 I looked at Carter's expression of sheer disbelief. Thinking about how our relationship devolved to this point, perhaps it was fundamentally flawed from the very beginning. When I was little. The Vance, Hayes, and Sterling families were all very close. So, I had known Carter Hayes and Ethan Sterling since childhood. I was always a sickly child, so those two were incredibly attentive and protective of me. Thanks to them, I rarely encountered any real danger or hardship. But that kind of good luck doesn't last forever. When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by thugs hired by a rival corporation. Because I was the only daughter of the Vance family, my ransom value was incredibly high. The kidnappers used me as leverage to extort highly classified documents from my parents. I don't know if it was a blessing or a curse, but while waiting to be rescued, I was so terrified that I passed out. I drifted in and out of consciousness. Because I was blindfolded, my hearing became hyper-sensitive. I heard a familiar voice arguing with the kidnappers. Then, the owner of that voice walked over to me and held me gently in his arms. He kept whispering to me, telling me not to be afraid, that everything was going to be okay. Feeling safe, I drifted back into a deep sleep. When I woke up, I was lying in a hospital bed. And Carter was asleep next to my bed, holding my hand. Later, my parents told me that Carter was the one who got me out. Carter also told me stories of how he bravely negotiated with the kidnappers to rescue me unharmed. From that moment on, I devoted all my attention and affection to Carter. I never bothered to investigate why Ethan, who disappeared that very day, was in a wheelchair the next time I saw him. Not long after, the entire Sterling family moved abroad so Ethan could get treatment for his legs. That was the last time I saw Ethan during our youth. After that, my life revolved entirely around Carter. I got into the same university as him and chose the same major, all just to be closer to him. But after we officially started dating, Carter's possessiveness and temper escalated significantly. He wouldn't let me interact with other guys. He wouldn't let me wear nice clothes. If anything didn't go his way, he would resort to emotional, and sometimes physical, abuse. Every time I was on the verge of breaking up with him, he would pull me back in with sweet words and perfectly timed displays of vulnerability. Even his friends joked that I loved him far too deeply. Until the day I discovered that Carter had been secretly dating an underage freshman behind my back. All the grievances and injustice I had swallowed over the years instantly broke the dam. That day, I calmly and quietly broke up with him. I was so calm that Carter genuinely thought I was joking. He completely ignored me and went right back to reviewing some business documents on his laptop. So, the very next day after I broke up with him, I packed a bag and moved abroad. 3 I originally just wanted to go abroad to clear my head and relax, but I never expected to run into Ethan. I ran into him at a hospital. Having not seen each other in years, we talked for a long time. He told me his legs were treated at this exact hospital. By some twist of fate, he eventually became a surgical resident there. It felt like we had traveled back in time to when we were kids. He asked me a lot of questions, including questions about Carter. I didn't want to talk about Carter much. He probably sensed that, so he dropped the subject. After that day, we started seeing each other frequently. On his days off, Ethan would take me exploring all over the city. During his lunch breaks, I would cook delicious meals and bring them to his office to eat with him. Just like that, having him by my side made my days abroad bright, sunny, and peaceful. Looking back, that must have been when I fell in love with Ethan Sterling. Later, Ethan's hospital organized a charity gala. He invited me to attend as his "only family in the area," as he put it. I sat in the audience, watching him play popular songs on his acoustic guitar, genuinely happy that he had picked the instrument back up. After a few songs, standing under the bright, dazzling stage lights, he confessed his feelings to me, while the entire crowd cheered us on. In that moment, I said yes without a second of hesitation, because I had to admit, Vivian Vance truly couldn't live without Ethan Sterling. Not long after becoming Ethan's girlfriend, I had to return to the States because of some family business. Ethan had to stay behind for a bit longer to wrap up some work at the hospital. Before we parted ways, we agreed that as soon as he returned, we would start planning our wedding. I just never expected him to suggest inviting Carter to it. 4 Snapping back to the present, I noticed some commotion around me. Immediately, I realized something was wrong with Carter. The veins on his forehead were bulging, and his pale, slender hand suddenly reached out toward me, trembling violently. Seeing the situation escalating, his friends quickly grabbed him from behind to hold him back. Carter looked exactly like a feral, enraged beast. His eyes were bloodshot as he roared at me: "Vivian Vance! You are mine! You'll be mine for the rest of your life, don't you even dream of leaving me! "I don't believe it. There's no way you don't love me! I know exactly how good you've been to me all these years! It has to be... that bastard Ethan must have brainwashed you!" I remained perfectly calm, because I was very familiar with this state of his. He suffered from severe anxiety and panic attacks. The signs started showing shortly after his mother, Mrs. Hayes, abandoned their family. Everyone around us was shocked by Carter's outburst. The eldest son of the prestigious Hayes financial dynasty, the famously rational, calculating CEO of the Hayes Corporation, losing his mind in public over a woman. Only I knew that right now, Carter was completely incapable of controlling himself. Carter cared about his image more than anything. Normally, even if he felt an episode coming on in public, he would suppress it with everything he had. An outburst like this was a first. I realized I was probably the only one who could calm him down right now. After hesitating for a second, I called his secretary and told him to bring Carter's medication immediately. Honestly, I didn't want his secretary to know I was back in the country so soon. Because the news would definitely reach Old Mr. Hayes's ears. The old me worshipped Carter as my savior, treating him as the man I could entrust the rest of my life to. I never realized that to him, I was at best a trophy to brag about, a pawn in his games of leverage and profit. To advance his career, he messed around with the daughters of various CEOs behind my back, and even initiated our "breakups" just so he could offer me up to his business partners. Back then, I treated Carter as my entire universe. I believed that even if he didn't know how to express it, he truly cared for me deep down. I thought that as long as I did what he said and acted obediently, he would come save me. His possessiveness was so strong, he wouldn't let anyone else lay a finger on me. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Dead wrong! That night, I experienced the agonizing descent from hope into absolute despair for the first time. I learned exactly how torturous waiting could be. After I luckily managed to use my family's status to intimidate the man and escape, I swore I would never, ever be soft-hearted toward Carter again. But then, a drunken, hyperventilating Carter appeared in front of me, suffering a massive panic attack. It was the first time I saw him lose control, and my first introduction to his severe anxiety disorder. I didn't want to help him, but Carter claimed his condition was a direct result of the trauma he endured while saving me years ago. He only said that one sentence before passing out, and no matter how much I asked him about it later, he never brought it up again. Fortunately, I was able to temporarily calm his episodes, so every time he had one, I stayed by his side. But at the same time, every episode filled me with a deep, crushing sense of powerlessness. I knew I should stay away from him, even hate him, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Looking back now, wasn't that just another form of torture for the old me? After that day, I felt nothing but guilt toward Carter, because no matter what, I could never bring myself to love him again. Carter's grandfather, Old Mr. Hayes, would always gently try to persuade me. He said he loved me dearly and desperately wanted me to be his granddaughter-in-law, but Carter was just too disappointing, too much of a bastard. Old Mr. Hayes always said he had let me down, and let my grandfather down. So, he always treated me much better than he treated Carter. Old Mr. Hayes is getting on in years now, and I didn't want to cause him any more worry. It didn't take long for Carter's secretary to arrive, and Carter slowly began to calm down. However, his gaze never left me for a second, making me feel like I had needles in my back. Assuming my part was done, I was about to leave with my friend, but Carter's secretary stopped me. He said Old Mr. Hayes wanted to see me. 5 Thinking about it, I really should go visit the elders since I just got back to the country, so I agreed. I had driven my own car, so I declined the secretary's offer to ride together. Carter walked quietly in front of me the whole time. I had no idea what he was thinking. I was used to it. After an episode, Carter always went through a period of heavy silence. I got into the driver's seat and was just about to start the engine when the passenger door was yanked open from the outside. "I'm riding with you. You said it yourself, when I have an episode, you have to stay with me." Carter was always like this—showing weakness while still being incredibly stubborn. To him, this was his version of coaxing you, and you were supposed to be grateful for it. But now, I had absolutely no relationship with him, and I didn't need or want to tolerate or accommodate him anymore. "Get out. "Don't make me force you out!" Carter turned to look at me, his expression dark and suppressed: "Vivian, I don't get it. What is so great about Ethan Sterling? Tell me, how exactly does he beat me? "We've been together for over a decade! You were only abroad with him for four years. "Stop throwing a tantrum. Let's get back together, okay? I..." "Carter, do not compare Ethan to yourself. You aren't worthy!" I cut him off coldly: "When I loved you, you hurt me the deepest. You are the last person on earth who has the right to ask for my forgiveness. "Get out of the car! I'm not going to sit here in a standoff with you. Even if Old Mr. Hayes invited me, I can always choose not to go!" I ignored him entirely, only listening for the sound of the door opening and slamming shut. After he got out, I stared blankly at his retreating back for a moment. I suddenly felt so exhausted. I had barely been back in the country for a few days, and I was already missing the time I spent abroad with Ethan.
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