At our high school reunion, the guy I secretly crushed on for three years, Liam, actually showed up. From the beginning to the end of the night, we didn’t exchange a single word. That was, until the party broke up, and I was the only one left to drag his drunk self back to his hotel room. Inside, I stared at him passed out on the bed, waging a violent internal war against my most earthly desires, and eventually managed to keep my hands to myself. I never expected him to show up at my front door the very next morning, looking deeply wronged as he asked: "How did you hold back?" I stared at him, completely bewildered. "Weren't you blackout drunk?" He took a step closer. "I was drunk." "I was faking it." "But you... you stared at me for so long, and then you just left me there and went home." 1 This class reunion was organized by our class president right before the holidays. Everyone was RSVPing in the group chat when our old sports captain suddenly tagged Liam. [Is Liam coming?] [Whoa! If Liam comes, Chloe will definitely be there, right?!] [Omg yes! My favorite high school ship is finally reuniting!] Scrolling through the messages, a bitter, sour feeling settled in my chest. Chloe was our school’s ‘It Girl’—radiant, beautiful, and from a wealthy family. Standing next to Liam, they really did look like a perfect match. As for me? The most interaction I ever got with Liam was when the teacher read out the test scores, and he’d throw a teasing comment my way: "Our class rep really is built different." My crush was a secret I intended to take to my grave. I didn’t even have the courage to hold a normal conversation with him. I was terrified that a single look would give me away. After a long pause, Liam finally replied to the chat with a simple [1]. I privately messaged the class president to RSVP as well. The night of the reunion, I was sitting in a corner, chatting with some old friends about college life. Suddenly, Liam pushed the private room door open, with Chloe following closely behind him. The whole class erupted into cheers. "Liam and Chloe look so good together!" "I knew the only one who could tame Liam was Chloe!" Chloe smiled shyly, rolling her eyes playfully at the cheering crowd. "Alright guys, keep it down." But Liam’s face suddenly turned ice cold. "Don't talk nonsense." He pushed through the crowd and walked straight over, sitting down right next to me. The room instantly went dead silent. Every single pair of eyes snapped toward us. I stiffened my neck, turned my head, and met Liam’s pitch-black eyes. "Long time no see, Class Rep." I instantly chickened out. I just nodded at him, considering that a greeting. He was tall with incredibly long legs, and to avoid accidentally touching him, I shimmied closer to the wall. Liam shot me a sideways glance but didn’t say anything. My friend Jenna, sitting on my other side, frantically texted me. [Holy crap, why did Liam sit next to you? Since when are you guys this close?!] [I have no idea! Is it because I’m wearing a black jacket today and he literally didn't see me sitting here?] [...He’s not legally blind. But you better watch out, the look Chloe is giving you right now could literally kill you.] I sneaked a peek at Chloe. Her expression was completely thunderous. I texted Jenna back, saying I’d rather shrink into my seat and play dead than become cannon fodder in their drama. The class president quickly pulled Chloe to a seat, trying to smooth things over. Everyone started chatting again, reminiscing about high school, and the atmosphere slowly relaxed. Suddenly, Chloe walked over with her wine glass, leaned down, and smiled at me. "Sarah, do you mind swapping seats with me?" I looked up, meeting her perfectly composed, flawless smile. I was just stressing over how to escape this awkward situation! I immediately agreed: "Oh, sure, yeah, let's swap." I grabbed my glass of juice, ready to stand up. Suddenly, a heavy weight landed on my shoulder, pinning me down. I froze, slowly turning my head to look at the pale, long-fingered hand resting on my shoulder. Then I looked at Chloe. Oh boy, the look in her eyes was even worse now! But Liam remained completely unfazed. He lifted his heavy eyelids, shot Chloe a cold look, and said flatly: "She's sitting here. Find somewhere else." Cold sweat instantly broke out on my back. My first instinct was to shove Liam's hand off me. But then I realized that if we started physically struggling, it would look even more suspicious. I decided to just play the polite bystander and let out an awkward laugh to defuse the tension: "It's fine, I'll swap with you. I don't really want to sit against the wall anyway." Liam turned his head and raised an eyebrow at me. "In high school, didn't you always say your favorite spot was right against the wall?" The fake smile on my face instantly shattered. I had no idea what kind of game he was playing. The room went dead quiet again. Completely ignored and humiliated by him, Chloe's eyes turned red. She choked out: "Liam, do you really have to embarrass me in front of all these people?" The air pressure around Liam dropped to freezing. He said in a low, dangerous voice: "You brought the embarrassment on yourself. She was sitting here perfectly fine. Why should she move for you?" Unable to take the humiliation, Chloe slammed her glass down on the table, turned around, and ran out of the room. But Liam didn't move an inch. Finally, the class president sighed, stood up, and chased after her. The crowd's gaze shifted from Liam directly onto me. I felt like I was sitting on a bed of nails. Dear God. I have literally nothing to do with this! 2 After Chloe left, Liam started drinking. Hard. To anyone watching, it looked exactly like a couple having a nasty fight. I didn't dare speak to him, terrified of causing an even bigger misunderstanding. I just shrank back into my corner, clutching my orange juice like a lifeline. Silently counting how many glasses he was throwing back. In our three years of high school, Liam and I rarely ever sat this close to each other. He had taken off his jacket and draped it over the back of his chair. The sleeves of his white dress shirt were rolled up, revealing the lean, defined muscles of his forearms. I fought with everything I had to keep my eyes off him. But the faint, intoxicating scent of rosewater radiating from him kept drifting to my nose. It had been almost a year since I last saw him. His features had sharpened, losing the soft edges of a high school boy. He existed in that perfect space between a boy and a man, looking even more breathtaking than before. I couldn't help it. I sneaked a tiny, quick glance at him—and crashed straight into his gaze. I immediately snapped my eyes away and violently started eating my salad. After a few seconds of silence, I heard him let out a soft, low chuckle. "Hiding again." My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to burst out of my chest. Thankfully, some of the guys started talking to him, breaking the suffocating tension. I absentmindedly poked at the greens in my bowl. I was starting to regret coming to see him. I knew he didn't belong to me, yet I couldn't stop myself from secretly pining for him, over and over again. Just as my thoughts were spiraling, a massive chicken drumstick suddenly appeared in my bowl. I looked at Liam in absolute shock. He didn't even look at me. He just said coolly: "I used the serving chopsticks. They're clean." I took a deep breath, forced myself to stay calm, and managed a stiff, "Thank you." But inside, I was screaming— Is this about the chopsticks?! Since when are we close enough to serve each other food?! Luckily, no one knew about my secret crush on him, so everyone just assumed I was awkwardly caught in the crossfire. Even Jenna texted me: [Looks like our favorite ship has officially sunk. Sarah, I feel so bad for you, but I can't save you. Just eat your food and stay quiet.] I replied with a single smiley face emoji. Expressing my absolute speechlessness. Liam seemed determined to drink himself into a coma tonight. He barely spoke another word, and his eyes didn't drift my way again. Everyone read the room. Seeing that the night had run its course, they all started making excuses to leave. I wanted to leave too. But Liam was leaning lazily back in his chair, his eyes closed, his incredibly long legs stretched out, completely blocking my only exit. I called his name softly. "Liam? Could you move a little?" No response. I tugged lightly on the edge of his shirt. "Liam?" Still nothing. Looks like he was genuinely blackout drunk. I signaled Jenna for help. "Jenna, wait for me, let's leave together." But just as she started walking toward me, Liam’s eyes snapped open, and he shot her a freezing, lethal glare. Jenna froze in her tracks, laughing awkwardly: "Uh, Sarah, why don't you do the honors and get him home?" I didn't even get a chance to object. Liam let out a low "Mm," turned to look at me, and said with perfect, slurred politeness: "Sorry to trouble you, Class Rep." Me: "...No trouble at all." 3 I booked a room at the nearest hotel and asked him if he could still walk. He gripped the edge of the table to stand up, but immediately stumbled. I frantically reached out and caught him. The sudden, close physical contact sent my heart into overdrive. I wanted to let go, but I was terrified he would crack his head open on the floor. "How about I ask a waiter to help you to the hotel?" Liam instantly stood up straight, his brows furrowing deeply. "No. I don't like other people touching me." He grabbed his jacket off the chair and looked back at me. "Let's go. Didn't you say you were walking me back?" With that, he started walking toward the door on his own. I stared at his back, completely bewildered. Is he actually drunk or not? I sighed heavily and jogged after him. "Liam, wait a second, let me call an Uber." "Is it far?" "Not really, but—" "Then let's walk. I'm dizzy. I don't want to sit in a car." I looked at his pale face and tightly knit brows. He definitely didn't look well. Maybe getting some fresh air would help clear his head. For the entire walk, I quietly trailed behind him. The only sound was my Google Maps navigation telling us which traffic light to turn at. Suddenly, Liam stopped dead in his tracks. I wasn't paying attention and almost slammed right into his back. Thank god for my quick reflexes; the tip of my nose barely brushed against his wool coat. "What's wrong? Are you going to throw up? Should I run into a pharmacy and get you some hangover meds?" Whenever my dad drank too much, my mom always made him an herbal hangover drink, and it always settled his stomach. There happened to be a 24-hour pharmacy right across the street. I pointed at it. "You stay right here. Don't wander off, I'll be right back—" Liam suddenly grabbed my wrist, yanked me backward, and pulled me solidly into his arms. My entire body froze. I forgot how to breathe. The hug I had only ever dared to imagine in my wildest dreams was actually happening. But I was completely sober. And I knew this was wrong. I tried to push him away, but he only held me tighter. If anyone from school saw us like this, I would never be able to explain it! My voice was trembling when I called his name. "Liam—" He buried his face in the crook of my neck, his voice incredibly hoarse and low: "Please don't go, okay?" "I didn't do anything to make you mad. Stop hiding from me." 4 Liam was definitely blackout drunk. He was mistaking me for Chloe, and spouting a bunch of easily misunderstood nonsense. I didn't want to get into a wrestling match with him in the middle of the street. So, I had to treat him like a toddler. "I'm not going anywhere, I'm taking you to bed. Be good, let go of me first, okay?" He let out an obedient "Mm," released the hug, and immediately grabbed my hand instead. And then he looked at me with those huge, wet, puppy-dog eyes. Thank god my psychological fortitude was strong and my moral compass was high. For the next two blocks, my palms were sweating from how tightly he was gripping my hand. I stepped on his shadow, muttering under my breath: "If you're this clingy, why the hell were you fighting with her in the first place? You brought this on yourself!" When we finally made it to the hotel room and the door clicked shut behind us, his legs gave out completely. He dragged me down onto the bed with him. His hot breath fanned against my ear, the intoxicating scent of alcohol and rosewater completely overwhelming my senses. All I had to do was turn my head an inch, and my lips would touch his. Who could possibly resist this kind of temptation?! Me, that's who! Even though I really wanted to. I couldn't. He was just drunk, not dead. Taking advantage of him while he was blackout drunk was highly immoral. I violently suppressed the massive wave of dirty thoughts in my brain and shoved him off me. Liam lay flat on his back. The alcohol was probably making him thirsty, because he restlessly shifted and ran his tongue over his dry lips. Dear God. If I looked at him for one more second, I was going to get a nosebleed. I frantically unscrewed a bottle of water and brought it to his lips. He swallowed instinctively, his Adam's apple bobbing. The pale skin of his neck was flushed red from the alcohol, the color spreading all the way to the tips of his ears. ...This was getting out of hand. Truly. I squeezed my eyes shut, and my hand jerked. The cool water spilled past his lips, soaking a dark patch into the hotel sheets. I mentally slapped myself in the face. I muttered a curse at myself. "You absolute animal!" I kept my eyes locked on the ceiling. I aggressively yanked the duvet over him, tucking him in like a burrito, and finally managed to calm down. Staring at Liam's sleeping face, his brows still furrowed in discomfort, I gave myself a mental thumbs-up. Great job, Sarah. You didn't sexually assault him while he was vulnerable. This was the boy I had loved for three years. He belonged in my dreams. He shouldn't actually be a part of my real life. The doorbell rang. The hangover medicine I ordered had arrived. I placed the meds, a box of tissues, and a fresh bottle of water on the nightstand. I gave him a little wave and whispered my goodbyes. "Goodbye, Liam! Don't drink this much ever again. Boys need to be careful when they're out alone at night." 5 It was incredibly late by the time I got home, but I wasn't tired at all. Jenna was still awake, eager to gossip. [Sarah, did you hear? The class president said when he finally caught up to Chloe, she was crying so hard it was pathetic.] [She said she had a little argument with Liam, and it made him furious.] That made sense to me. For three years of high school, they were practically joined at the hip. Their families were both incredibly wealthy and well-connected, so even the teachers turned a blind eye to them. Thinking about that mistaken hug tonight... I felt even more ashamed. My crush was something I couldn't control, but the only thing I could control was my own actions. I wouldn't cause trouble for him. And I wouldn't humiliate myself. I scrolled through my phone, feeling completely miserable, until I finally tossed it aside and forced myself to sleep. Early the next morning, my doorbell rang. At this hour, my parents had already left for work. Logically, no one should be visiting. But the doorbell kept ringing persistently, like whoever it was had an emergency. I threw on my fluffy robe and went to open the door. When I saw the person standing outside, my jaw dropped. "Liam?! What are you doing here? The hotel room I booked for you doesn't check out until 2 PM!" "That's not important." I was completely baffled. I couldn't think of a single reason why he would be at my front door. He took a step closer and said in a low voice: "I came to pay you back for the hotel room." I let out a huge sigh of relief. "Oh, you could have just Venmo'd me! You didn't have to come all the way here—" "But you never gave me your number." "...I'll give it to you right now!" After we exchanged contacts, he didn't immediately send the money. Instead, he stood in the doorway, rubbing his arms, his voice sounding incredibly pathetic. "Class Rep, I'm so cold. Aren't you going to invite me inside?" I snapped out of my daze and realized he wasn't wearing the heavy wool coat from last night. He was only wearing a thin black hoodie and jeans. He looked amazing, but he was definitely freezing. I looked down at myself. I was wearing a massive, fluffy, bear-eared pajama onesie. Warm, yes. But incredibly childish! I couldn't bear to watch him freeze, so I stepped aside to let him in. "Come on in and sit down." The second the door closed, I instantly regretted it. A boy and a girl, alone in a house. He was completely sober, and I was completely sober. He was a living, breathing human standing in my living room, and he was staring right at me. I didn't know what to do with my hands or feet. I ran around like a headless chicken, turning up the thermostat, pulling out chips, sunflower seeds, and a bowl of fresh cherries. "Have a snack first, I'll go grab you a glass of milk." He suddenly grabbed my hand. "Stop running around. I'm not hungry." His freezing fingertips sent a shiver through me. He immediately let go. "Just sit with me for a minute." I sat down rigidly, my hands placed perfectly on my knees like an obedient school child. It was way too quiet. I was starting to panic. After a long pause, Liam broke the silence. "Why did you leave me there last night?" "...I didn't leave you! You were blackout drunk. I took you to the hotel, made sure you were asleep, and then went home." Liam’s clear, dark eyes stared directly into mine. "I was drunk. But I faked passing out." He drank at least six or seven bottles of beer last night. He was drunk as a skunk, and he even thought I was Chloe! And now he was sitting in my living room trying to claim he faked it?! I reasonably deduced he was just trying to save face. I gave a dry laugh, offering him an out. "Oh, totally, totally! I could tell you handle your liquor really well! You weren't messy at all!" Liam stared at me, looking deeply frustrated, like he was looking at an absolute idiot. "If I didn't pretend to pass out, with how terrified you are of me, when would you have ever dared to come near me?" "I was literally lying there totally helpless last night. You could have done whatever you wanted to me." "And what did you do? You tucked me in and ran away." I froze completely. Wait, did he figure something out?! I thought I hid my crush perfectly! Liam stood up, taking a step toward me, and slowly opened his arms. "You absolute coward. Can I get a hug?" "I'm dying of a broken heart over here." 6 Liam reached out and pulled me into a gentle hug. My nose was filled with the faint, elegant scent of roses. It was so intoxicating I felt myself melting into it. The living room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I couldn't tell if the deafening, hammering heartbeat I was hearing was his, or mine. Was he actually sober right now? If he was, why was he hugging me? I absolutely refused to be his temporary rebound after a bad breakup. And I refused to take advantage of him while he was heartbroken and vulnerable. I forced my rational brain to reboot and pushed him away. "Liam, you have a girlfriend. You cannot hug me." "I only took you to the hotel last night because we're classmates. Please do not misunderstand." Liam’s entire body stiffened. He looked at me in total, absolute shock. "Since when do I have a girlfriend?" I was just as confused as he was. "You and Chloe! Weren't you guys dating all through high school?" Liam let out a breath of pure exasperation, almost laughing. "Are you kidding me? For three years of high school, the only things I cared about were studying and playing basketball. Where the hell did you get the idea that I was dating her?" "But that's what everyone always said—" "Sarah. You believe them over me?" Hearing him say my actual name sent a jolt of panic through my chest. I avoided his intense, burning gaze and mumbled: "I didn't say I didn't believe you. It's just that everyone said it, and you never bothered to deny it..." "I made it perfectly clear to her a long time ago. I don't like her. The only connection we have is that our parents are friends and we live in the same neighborhood." "Whatever she does has absolutely nothing to do with me." "But you, on the other hand. You absolute idiot. I've been in love with you for three years, and you didn't notice a single thing?!" I couldn't believe my ears. I never thought I would hear a confession from him. Suddenly, a flood of memories hit me. Every time I had casually glanced over my shoulder in class, I had always locked eyes with Liam. But I always thought it was just a coincidence. I never dared to imagine it meant anything more. It wasn't until Liam gently brushed his fingers against my hand that I realized I was trembling so hard I was vibrating. "Why aren't you saying anything?" "I... I need to think about it." The fact that he was confessing to me felt entirely surreal. I needed to calm down, re-evaluate every interaction we had ever had, and then give him an answer. Hearing that, Liam let out a soft, relieved laugh. "Okay. There's no rush. I'll get going then." "So soon?" Crap. Said that out loud. I looked up, and sure enough, Liam was fighting back a massive, triumphant grin. I wanted to crawl under the sofa cushions and die. Liam reached out and affectionately ruffled my hair. "Once you finally give me a title, I'll never leave your house." "It's my birthday next week. Can you come to my party?" "Yes, I'll definitely be there." After Liam left, I got a Venmo notification from him. The amount was astronomically higher than the cost of the hotel room. I sent him a question mark. [You sent way too much.] He replied: [Thanks for taking care of me last night.] [Can you use the extra to buy me a present?] Even if he hadn't asked, I was going to buy him one anyway. I knew exactly when his birthday was. For the past three years, the birthday gifts I had bought for him were all locked in the bottom drawer of my desk. I just never had the courage to give them to him. He said he never dated Chloe. And he said he liked me. Compared to my terrified, hiding-in-the-shadows approach, his absolute, unapologetic honesty gave me a surge of courage. I decided that on his birthday, I was going to officially confess my feelings. 7 On the day of Liam's birthday, he was waiting outside my apartment building bright and early. He was even holding a bouquet of flowers. But he never told me he was coming to pick me up! Seeing him step out of his car and walk toward me, I quickly jogged over, a huge smile breaking across my face. "What are you doing here?" "It's a long drive. I wanted to pick you up." He glanced down at my dress, and his brows immediately furrowed. "It's too cold. Get in the car." The joy I had just felt instantly dissolved into panic. Usually, I dressed like a complete tomboy. Today, I specifically bought a brand new outfit and even put on a little makeup. The skirt ended right above my knees, and even with fleece-lined tights, the winter wind was cutting straight to my bones. Liam always looked so effortlessly cool and athletic. I just didn't want to look like a complete slob standing next to him. "Do you not like it?" "What are you talking about?" "The dress looks amazing on you. But I don't want you to freeze to death. Get in." A warm, fluttery feeling bloomed in my chest. I whispered, "I'm not cold." Liam leaned over the center console and gently buckled my seatbelt for me. Then he placed the bouquet of flowers onto my lap. I looked at him in total confusion. "Today is your birthday, why are you giving me flowers?" "I was worried you forgot to buy me a present, so I brought these. When we get to the party, just tell everyone you bought them for me." I immediately felt embarrassed. "I can't do that! Besides, I did buy you a present!" I pulled a small velvet box out of my purse and handed it to him. Liam opened it right then and there. His eyes lit up. "A bracelet? It's beautiful. I love it." He immediately slipped it onto his wrist. He turned to me, shook his wrist to show it off, a brilliant, genuine smile spreading across his face. "Thank you. Getting two presents today makes me really happy." "You're welcome. As long as you like it." Seeing you happy makes me happy.
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