I broke up with my boyfriend during the year he was at his absolute rock bottom. A year later, he hit the big time. He became the nation’s biggest star and married a girl far prettier and more vibrant than I could ever be. On a popular talk show, the host asked him if he had any regrets now that he had swept every major award at such a young age. He tightened his arm around his new wife, Chloe’s, waist and looked directly into the camera: "I just want to know... after dumping me, how is she doing now?" The host paused, a look of hesitation crossing her face. "She’s doing... not well at all." A smirk finally spread across Silas's face. "Good. Then I can rest easy." "But," the host continued, "Ms. Quinn left behind a box of videotapes before she died." The smile on Silas’s face froze. Inside those tapes were the records of every single day and night I spent from the moment I left him until my final breath. 1 "Before she died?" Silas’s hand, resting on Chloe’s waist, twitched. Then, he forced a dismissive laugh. "Is this for the ratings? A bit dark for a talk show, don't you think?" The host didn't smile. She simply shook her head. The massive screen behind them flickered to life. My face appeared, filling the studio. "Hey everyone! I’m Quinn. And today... I’m officially single! "Huh? You’re asking if it hurts to kick a handsome, talented, pure-hearted boy to the curb?" In the frame, a girl with a completely shaved head was busy picking out a wig from a stand. She looked at the lens and laughed. "It doesn't hurt. What would hurt is letting him see me looking like this. Haha! "Hey! Why is the camera shaking? You’re ruining the shot!" I reached out to steady the trembling hand of my best friend, Daisy. Daisy’s voice came from behind the camera, thick with sobs. "I don't want to film this... Quinn, I can't. I’m going to cry myself to death. Let’s stop." "No way. You promised me, remember? You’re going to document every single day I have left." "Can't I take it back?" Daisy whimpered. "Nope!" I pouted at the camera. "This is my grand finale. I can't trust anyone else with the cinematography." Seeing her still crying, I grabbed the corner of her shirt and gave it a little tug. "Come on, Daisy. You’re the only person I have left in this world." The sobbing grew louder. "Fine, fine... I’ll film it. Just stop talking like that..." 2 [Goodbye World: April 17, 2023, 9:34 AM — Take Everything You Want] After years away, I finally returned to my family’s old house in the countryside. Daisy held the phone behind me as I led my old golden retriever, Goldie, down a narrow dirt path through the fields. A soft laugh came from behind the lens. "No wonder Silas just updated his status with a breakup song. It’s because you took Goldie with you!" I turned around. "What song? I blocked him the second I left." "It’s a classic. Take Everything You Want." Daisy and I locked eyes for a moment and burst into a fit of bittersweet laughter. "Take everything you want, I’ll handle what’s left. Just leave our dog, Whether he’s useful or not..." Daisy laughed until tears came out. "He wanted nothing but the dog, and you took nothing but the dog! Hahaha!" Our laughter echoed under the vast sky. Slowly, it dissolved into weeping. 3 [Goodbye World: April 17, 2023, 10:08 AM — Does a Dog Know When You’re Leaving?] The old wooden door creaked open. I brushed away a thick cobweb. "I’m telling you, ever since Silas and I moved to the city for college, I’ve barely been back. After my parents passed, we took Goldie to the city. This is his first time home." The camera flipped. Now I was holding it. "Hello, hello! Quinn here, taking you on an immersive tour of cleaning the old homestead!" Daisy appeared in the frame wearing an apron, holding a broom with a scowl. "I’m the one doing the cleaning! You’re just standing there, my lady!" "I’m the patient! Give me a break!" After a lot of laughter, I emerged from the kitchen covered in dust and soot. Daisy’s face went black as she snatched the spatula from me. "I told you! No cooking! Do you have no self-awareness about your skills? Go sit down!" I sat down, laughing and coughing at the same time. As soon as Daisy vanished into the kitchen, the smile vanished from my face. I propped the phone against a bowl and began to gasp for air. With trembling hands, I took a few puffs from a portable oxygen tank. Only then did I look back at the camera and smile. "Sorry about that. My breathing has been acting up more often lately... "Cough! Honestly, I’m a great cook. Really. Watch me brave the kitchen again!" As I reached for the phone, I felt something furry against my leg. I tilted the camera down. Goldie was lying at my feet, his eyelids drooping. "Hungry?" I offered him a piece of jerky. He sniffed it, then just rested his head back on my foot, motionless. "Good boy, Goldie. I need to go help Daisy. Get up." He didn't move. "What’s wrong? Why are you so clingy today?" I stroked his thinning, dry fur. "I get it. You’re getting old too, aren’t you? Just don't feel like moving? Fine. I’ll stay here with you for a bit." I leaned back into the worn sofa. "I won't have many chances to sit with you later anyway." Goldie let out a soft, low whimper. 4 [Goodbye World: April 17, 2023, 11:21 AM — Is a House Still a Home If No One Is In It?] When I woke up on the sofa, Daisy was kneeling by my feet. She heard me move and looked up, her face drenched in tears. "Quinn... people say dogs can sense when their owners are about to leave. They say they go to the next world early to wait for them. Is that true?" I almost dropped the camera. I reached out to touch Goldie. Cold. No breath. He was curled up by my feet. While I was drifting off from exhaustion, he had quietly left me. My smile looked worse than a sob. "What are you talking about? Goldie was ten. He just died of old age." When the camera turned on again, I was in the backyard, mounding dirt over a small grave. My breath was shallow, my face deathly pale. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and pointed toward the house. "Just walk straight that way and you’re home, Goldie. Don't go the wrong way. If you wander off toward Silas..." I stopped abruptly. I smiled and pulled my hand back. "Don't go back there. There won't be anyone there soon anyway. Wait for me. When I get there, we’ll find Mom and Dad and start a home together." The camera shook as Daisy sobbed behind it. I looked up and pointed at the lens. "What are you doing? You can't even hold the shot steady." Daisy wailed, "You’re the one! Listen to yourself!" I laughed, waving her over. "Look at you. Let's go home and eat your cooking. I’m starving." "Quinn! If you keep acting like this, I’m going to stop talking to you!" I walked up and threw an arm around her shoulder. "Don't worry. Your girl Quinn is invincible. "A little cancer? Please. I’ve got this. "Hahahahahahaha!" 5 [Goodbye World: April 18, 2023, 8:27 AM — Sometimes I Forget I’m Sick] "Quinn! Quinn, open the door!" Daisy was pounding on the wood. The camera was propped up on a nearby crate, capturing only the lower half of her body. Inside the room, I was screaming. "Go away! I told you to go! Get away from me!" Then came the sound of violent retching. Daisy was crying now. "Quinn, if you don't open up, I’m breaking this door down! What happened? Let me see you!" "Leave me alone!" The heart-wrenching scream cut through the speaker. Daisy threw her weight against the door. The old wood gave way with a crash. Inside, I was on my knees by a trash can, vomit matting my hair to my face. I looked pathetic. There was no trace of the girl who was singing and laughing yesterday. I looked up in despair, my eyes bloodshot. "Daisy..." "Quinn." She dropped to her knees and pulled me into her arms, ignoring the mess. I clung to her with trembling hands, burying my face in her shoulder, my tears soaking her shirt. "I’m sorry... I shouldn't have yelled... "But every time I wake up, I have this split second where I think I’m normal again... "Then I stare at the ceiling for a long time and remember... I’m sick. "I’m dying, Daisy... I’m actually dying..." I was hyperventilating. Daisy held me tighter. "It’s okay. It’s okay, Quinn. You can fight this. You can... "Because you're... "You’re Quinn. You're the strongest person I know." 6 [Goodbye World: April 21, 2024, 4:34 PM — Sometimes Forgetting is a Mercy for the Dead] I was leaning on Daisy’s shoulder. My sleeves were rolled up, revealing arms covered in purple and blue bruises from the IVs. My voice was a raspy whisper. "What am I going to do, Daisy? There’s nowhere left to stick the needles. It hurts so much." "Oh, now it hurts? You weren't complaining when you stayed up all night to snag those concert tickets." I pouted. "I had to see my ex-boyfriend’s first sold-out stadium tour. I haven't seen him in forever. I wanted to see if his vocals actually improved." Daisy went silent. After a long time, she nudged me. "You said you dumped him because you didn't want to drag him down. If he still has feelings for you, would you ask him for help?" "Never!" I was firm. "But he makes millions per song now. He could afford the best treatment in the world for you." "No! And don't you dare tell him!" "But Quinn, look at you..." I put my hands on my hips, the medical tape on my skin crinkling. "I’m doing great! Besides, I dumped him when he was a nobody. If I crawl back now that he’s famous and tell him I’m sick, what does that make me? "Don't worry. I’m Quinn! "Cancer? Pfft. Easy work." I pinched my thumb and forefinger together in a "tiny" gesture. Daisy stared at me for a long time, then sighed. I waved her forward. "Let’s go. This illness probably won't get better no matter how much money I spend. I’d rather spend my last bits of cash on having fun. Come on, we have the pier tonight! But before that, I found this BBQ place..." "Oof!" I walked straight into someone’s chest. I started apologizing frantically, but when I looked up and saw his face, I froze. I stumbled back several steps. Daisy gasped. "Silas?" Even with a mask and a hoodie pulled low, lovers recognize each other by the eyes alone. "Quinn?" His beautiful eyes were wide with shock. Then, they turned to anger and resentment. I didn't think. I just turned and bolted. The camera shook violently as Daisy chased after me. A cancer patient managed to run faster than a healthy person. Behind me, over the sound of my ragged breathing, I heard a voice screaming my name: "Quinn! Do you really hate me that much?!"
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