Silenced in the Snow

My older sister suffered from severe neurasthenia. She couldn't tolerate even the slightest noise. If I made a sound, she would scream and claw at her own face. To protect her, I even had to tiptoe when walking around our house. This winter, our apartment's heating failed. I caught a severe case of pneumonia. Whenever the urge to cough hit me, I had to desperately cover my mouth. But one night, I couldn't hold back a muffled cough. My sister woke up instantly, crying and screaming that her head was exploding. My mother stormed into the room. Looking at my face, which was purple from holding my breath, her eyes held nothing but disgust. "Can't you just hold it in?! Do you have to torture your sister like this?!" To give my sister a quiet environment to sleep, my mother grabbed a roll of heavy-duty duct tape and wrapped it tightly around my mouth and nose. "You're standing on the balcony tonight. You can come back inside when you learn how to be quiet." The freezing wind howled. The phlegm from my infected lungs blocked my airway. I desperately pounded on the glass, begging for help. But my father just pulled the curtains shut. "The kid watches too much TV. She's just playing the victim. She'll be fine by tomorrow." But I never saw tomorrow. It was a winter night, five degrees below zero. The cold was piercing. I was wearing thin cotton pajamas, standing barefoot on the ceramic tiles of the balcony. With every agonizing breath, phlegm bubbled up, blocking my throat. "Cough... cough..." I desperately wanted to cough out the sludge blocking my windpipe. But my mouth and nose were tightly sealed with duct tape. To make sure my sister didn't suffer, I listened to my mother and didn't tear the tape off. My chest began to heave violently from oxygen deprivation. My heart pounded so hard it felt like it would explode. I turned around and desperately slapped my hands against the glass door. Please... let me in... I won't cough anymore... I can hold it... I'm so cold... I can't breathe... Through the glass and the slight gap in the curtains, I could see the warm, yellow light of the living room. The thermostat on the wall read "78°F". My mother was sitting on the sofa, holding my sister, Annie, in her arms, gently patting her back. "Don't be scared, Annie. Mommy kicked your sister out to the balcony to reflect on her behavior." "You can finally get a good night's sleep tonight." Annie nestled into our mother's embrace. There were tears on her face, but the corners of her mouth were turned slightly upward. She pointed toward the balcony, seemingly saying something. My father walked over from the master bedroom, looking annoyed, and yanked the curtains completely shut. The last sliver of light vanished. Darkness instantly swallowed me whole. Only the howling blizzard outside the balcony continued its rampage. I thought back to before dinner. I had just let out a soft cough because I couldn't suppress the tickle in my throat. Annie, who had been watching TV, suddenly hurled the remote control at me. "Mia! Did you do that on purpose?!" "Are you trying to kill me with that noise?! Ahhh, my head hurts so much!" Annie grabbed her head and screamed, her fingernails gouging bloody tracks down her own cheeks. My mother rushed out of the kitchen, not even bothering to put down her spatula, and backhanded me across the face. "Mia! How many times have I told you your sister has neurasthenia and can't stand any noise?!" "How dare you cough in front of her!" I covered my burning cheek. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I didn't dare let them fall. Because my mother had told me that crying was also noise. "Mommy, I didn't want to cough... but my throat tickles so much..." I tried to explain. I tried to tell her that I had been dizzy and burning with a fever for three days. I tried to tell her that I was coughing up streaks of blood. But my mother didn't listen at all. She only saw the scratch marks on Annie's face. She only saw Annie screaming in agony. "Your lungs hurt? I think you're just full of wicked schemes!" "Are you faking being sick just to get attention because you think we care too much about your sister?!" "How many times have I told you we don't love you any less? Your father and I are already exhausted from work. Stop causing us trouble!" And so, that roll of heavy-duty duct tape used for sealing moving boxes was wrapped around my face. Every layer was accompanied by my mother's exhausted glare and my sister's smug sniffling. The feeling of suffocation grew stronger. Dark spots danced in my vision. I wanted to knock on the glass one more time. But my hands were frozen stiff. They were so heavy I couldn't even lift them. My body slid uncontrollably down the glass. My knees slammed into the hard tile, but I couldn't even feel the pain. My consciousness began to blur. In my delirium, I thought I saw my grandmother, who had passed away three years ago. She was standing outside the balcony, smiling kindly and waving at me, holding my favorite roasted sweet potato. "Mia, come to Grandma. It's not cold here, and you don't have to hold in your coughs." Tears flowed uncontrollably. They seeped into the gaps in the duct tape and quickly froze into ice crystals. Mommy, I'm sorry. Next time... I promise... I won't cough. If I don't cough... will you hug me... like you hug my sister? The moment that thought crossed my mind, my heart stopped beating for the last time. My body curled into a tiny ball, collapsing stiffly into the corner. Snowflakes drifted down, slowly burying me. My body felt so, so light. I found myself floating in mid-air. Below me was my own body, curled up in the corner of the balcony. The tape was still wrapped around my face, and my eyelashes were covered in white frost. Mia, you look so ugly. No wonder Mommy didn't like you. I passed through the sliding glass door and floated into the warm living room. The clock read 2:00 AM. My sister, who supposedly couldn't tolerate a single sound, was currently hiding under her covers. But she wasn't sleeping. The faint blue light of a phone screen glowed from beneath the blanket. She was wearing headphones, her thumbs furiously tapping the screen. To prevent our parents from catching her, she had the blanket pulled tight over her head. As I floated closer, I could still hear the intense sounds of a video game shootout leaking from her headphones. "Push! You idiot teammates!" My sister cursed softly under her breath, her cheeks flushed red with excitement. Where was the neurasthenia? Where was the agonizing headache caused by noise? It turned out she wasn't afraid of noise at all. She just didn't want to hear my voice. I turned and floated toward the master bedroom. My parents were sleeping soundly. My mother was even snoring softly. Weren't those snores noise? Why couldn't my sister hear them? Why wasn't she screaming and clawing at her face because of them? I floated to the edge of the bed, looking at my mother's sleeping face. I wanted to reach out and touch her, to ask her why she sealed my mouth with tape. But my hand passed right through her body. A wave of freezing cold made me pull my hand back. I was already dead. Dead on that balcony they had forgotten about. Even in death, it seemed I hadn't brought them any peace. At 6:00 AM, the alarm clock rang. My mother stretched and got out of bed. The first thing she did was go to the kitchen to make breakfast. Eggs sizzled in the pan, filling the air with a comforting, domestic smell. She was also frying golden, crispy dough sticks—Annie's favorite. My father woke up too, tying his tie while watching the morning news. The anchor reported: "A severe cold front hit the city last night, causing temperatures to plummet to five degrees. Residents are advised to stay warm..." My father frowned and walked over to the balcony door. He pulled the curtain back just a fraction and peeked outside. My ghostly heart leaped into my throat. Dad, do you see me? Do you see that I'm not moving? But a thick layer of frost covered the window, blurring his vision. Combined with the fact that I was curled up in the corner, half-buried in snow, I just looked like a pile of discarded clutter. My father didn't see a thing. He even scoffed. "That kid is so stubborn. Still hiding out there." My mother walked out of the kitchen holding a plate. "Ignore her. She's just spoiled." "We indulged her too much in the past, that's why she's so unruly now." "So young, yet so manipulative. She actually faked having pneumonia just to fight for attention." "Let her freeze! When she admits she's wrong, then she can come in." Annie walked out wearing pink pajamas, rubbing her eyes. Smelling the food, her eyes lit up. "Wow! Mom! Fried dough sticks! My favorite! I love you, Mom!" She grabbed one and stuffed it into her mouth, getting grease everywhere. My mother wiped the grease from the corners of her mouth. "Slow down, no one is fighting you for it." "Go call your sister inside." "Even though she's immature, she's still family. We can't actually let her starve." Annie pouted reluctantly. "I don't want to. Seeing her gives me a headache." "Be good. Give her a way to save face," my mother coaxed. Annie reluctantly put down her food and slowly trudged over to the balcony door. She didn't open it. She just pressed her face against the glass and made a grotesque face at me in the corner. "Nyah nyah, serves you right!" "That's what you get for trying to steal Mom and Dad! I hope you freeze to death!" After cursing at me, she ran back to the dining table and announced loudly: "Mom! Mia says she's not hungry!" "She said she wants to keep standing there to reflect on her actions and told us to leave her alone!" Floating in mid-air, I desperately wanted to defend myself. But both my parents believed her immediately. My mother slammed her chopsticks down on the table. "Fine! If she doesn't know what's good for her, so be it!" "Then let her stand out there! No one is allowed to open that door for her!" "Let's see how long her stubbornness lasts!" My father scoffed coldly. "Don't worry about it. Skipping a few meals will fix her attitude." They went back to eating their steaming hot breakfast, discussing where to go for the weekend. No one spared another glance at the balcony. That morning, only my mother and sister were left at home. Before leaving for work, my father specifically instructed: "Don't coddle Mia. Annie's condition just started improving; we can't let her get stressed." My mother nodded repeatedly in agreement. Annie lay on the sofa and turned on the TV. She muted it, then expertly slipped on her massive, over-ear headphones. Her body thrashed wildly to whatever beat she was listening to, and she hummed loudly. I floated over and peeked at her phone screen. It was a heavy metal music video. The drumbeats were so intense they felt like they could shatter a person's heart. I suddenly remembered something that happened six months ago. My mother wasn't home that afternoon. Annie was sitting there, listening to music with her headphones, exactly like this. I was thirsty and went to pour some water, accidentally knocking over a cup. Annie instantly ripped off her headphones, rushed over, and brutally pinched my thigh. "Mia, if you dare tell Mom I was listening to music, I'll kill you!" To prove she wasn't joking, she threw a massive tantrum in front of my mother that night, screaming that I was making noise and triggering her illness. The result was my mother forcing me to kneel on the floor all night. My knees were bruised purple. From that day on, I never dared to say a single bad word about my sister. I thought that as long as I was obedient, as long as I lived like a ghost, she would leave me alone. Knock, knock, knock. Someone was at the door. It was Mrs. Wang from next door. She stood there smiling, holding a handful of green onions. "Carol, can I borrow some green onions? I ran out while cooking." My mother quickly grabbed some from the kitchen and handed them over. Mrs. Wang peeked inside the apartment and asked, confused, "Hey? Where's little Mia?" "Doesn't she usually play with her blocks in the living room around this time?" The smile on my mother's face froze. She quickly recovered and lied smoothly: "Oh, Mia. She caught a little cold. I was worried she might infect Annie, so I sent her to stay at her grandmother's for a couple of days." Mrs. Wang frowned, as if trying to recall something. "Last night, in the middle of the night, when I got up to use the bathroom, I swear I heard noises coming from your balcony." "It sounded like... someone slapping the glass, and this muffled whining sound, like a kitten scratching." "I was thinking, in this freezing weather, whose poor cat was left outside to suffer?" Mrs. Wang's words drained all the color from my mother's face. Her eyes unconsciously darted toward the heavy curtains covering the balcony door. Last night... was Mia really slapping the door? A creeping terror began to claw its way up my mother's spine. I held my spectral breath. Mom, are you going to realize? Are you going to go look? Right at that moment. "Ahhh! It's too loud!" Annie shrieked from the sofa. She ripped off her headphones, covered her ears, and thrashed around on the cushions. "Mrs. Wang is talking too loud! My head is going to explode!" "Make her leave! Tell her to get out!" Annie's shrill, agonizing cries instantly drowned out everything else. Mrs. Wang jumped back in fright. "Oh dear, is Annie having an episode? Okay, okay, Grandma is leaving. I won't bother you." My mother's attention snapped back instantly. Abandoning all thoughts of the balcony, she rushed over to hold Annie, patting her while apologizing to Mrs. Wang: "I'm so sorry, Mrs. Wang. Her illness is acting up. I'll have to ask you to leave." The door slammed shut. Mrs. Wang's sigh was sealed outside. "That poor child, what a strange disease..." Inside, my mother held Annie, her heart breaking. "It's okay, it's okay. She's gone. No one is making noise anymore." Hiding in our mother's arms, Annie shot a vicious, venomous glare toward the balcony through the gap between her mother's arms. After calming Annie down, my mother sat exhaustedly on the sofa. Her gaze landed on the closed sliding glass door of the balcony. "With a blizzard that huge... did that child really stay out there without making a single sound?" "What Mrs. Wang heard last night... was it really just a cat?" My mother stood up and took two hesitant steps forward. My soul floated right in front of her, screaming: "Mom! I'm right behind there! Just open the curtains!" "Just look! Just one glance!" My mother's hand rose. Her fingertips brushed the fabric of the curtain. Just one simple pull. And the truth would be revealed. "Mom! I want strawberries!" Annie suddenly yelled, jumping off the sofa and throwing her arms around our mother's leg. "I want those big, sweet milk strawberries! I want them right now!" My mother's hand stopped. She looked down at her whining older daughter, and the hesitation in her eyes vanished instantly. "Okay, okay, strawberries it is." "Mommy will go wash them for you right now." She pulled her hand back and turned toward the kitchen. The truth, just two steps away, was abandoned once again. By noon, the snow outside was falling heavier than ever. Huge, goose-feather flakes drifted down, quickly accumulating into a thick layer on the balcony. Curled up in the corner, I was now completely transformed into a mound of snow. Only the faintest hint of my pink pajamas was still visible. If they didn't find me soon, I would be permanently buried in this winter. My mother was busy making lunch in the kitchen. Passing by the dining table, she noticed a bottle of cough syrup and antibiotics sitting on the edge. I had secretly bought those from the pharmacy three days ago. Because my mother told me there was no money to take me to the doctor. All the money had to be saved for Annie's therapy sessions. Seeing the half-empty bottle of medicine, she stopped walking. She finally remembered my severe cough. "It's so cold out there... what if her pneumonia gets worse?" "If she actually freezes and something happens..." My mother sighed and put down the kitchen knife. "I should just let her in. She needs to take her medicine." "At worst, I'll make her wear a mask so she doesn't infect Annie." Muttering to herself, my mother wiped her hands and walked toward the balcony. Annie was sitting on the rug playing with her building blocks. Seeing what our mother was doing, she immediately jumped up, on high alert. "Mom, what are you doing?" "I'm going to bring your sister inside to eat and take her medicine," my mother explained. Annie immediately threw her arms wide, blocking the path. "No! You can't let her in!" "She's just pretending to be pitiful! It's a trick!" "If you let her in now, then all the suffering I went through was for nothing! My head is going to start hurting again!" Annie stood there aggressively, her face full of hostility. This time, my mother frowned. "Annie, stop throwing a fit. It really is freezing out there. It's five below zero." Her tone carried a hint of strictness as she stepped around Annie and walked straight to the balcony. Panicking, Annie grabbed the hem of her mother's shirt and started wailing loudly: "No, no, no! I want her to stay outside!" "I want strawberries! I want to watch TV! I want you to play with me!" She tried using the exact same tactics that had worked a hundred times before to distract her mother. But this time, my mother just gently pushed her hands away. "Stop crying. Wait until I get your sister inside." My mother's hand grasped the handle of the sliding glass door. The icy metal made her shiver. My soul watched from the side, feeling as if my dead heart had started beating again. Swoosh— She yanked back the heavy blackout curtains. The harsh, pale midday sun pierced through the glass, shining mercilessly into the room. My mother instinctively squinted, raising a hand to block the glare. Once her eyes adjusted to the light, her gaze fell onto the corner of the balcony. The next second. She froze completely. Her mouth opened wide, but no sound came out. Her pupils contracted violently, reflecting the horrifying scene before her. In the corner of the balcony. There was a tiny figure, curled up into a tight ball. Covered entirely in a thick layer of snow. Layers upon layers of heavy-duty duct tape were wrapped tightly around the lower half of my face, digging deeply into the flesh. Because of the extreme cold, the edges of the tape had completely fused with the skin. The eyes, left exposed above the tape... They were bulging, completely bloodshot, staring rigidly toward the living room. Dry, frozen tears clung to the corners of the eyes. The living room was dead silent. The only sound was the clatter of Annie's building blocks collapsing. "Mom, why aren't you moving?" "Is Mia still pretending to sleep?" Annie's innocent yet venomous voice shattered the silence. "AHHHHHH—!!!" A shrill, blood-curdling scream that sounded entirely inhuman nearly blew the roof off the apartment. My mother's legs gave out, and she collapsed entirely in front of the sliding door. "Mia... Mia, don't scare Mommy..." "Stop pretending... Mommy is letting you in now... please, just move..." Babbling incoherently, sobbing and screaming, she crawled across the floor on her hands and knees. Like a madwoman, she clawed at the duct tape that had sealed away my breath. A sickening, tearing sound echoed through the air. Because the tape and the skin had completely frozen together, ripping it off revealed lips that were a horrifying, bruised purple. The mouth was stuffed full of pink ice crystals—frozen blood and phlegm. Seeing this, my mother's stomach violently heaved, but she couldn't make a sound. She suffered a total, absolute mental collapse. "How did this happen... how did this happen..." "I just wanted you to be quiet... I didn't want you to die!" Right at that moment, the front door opened. My father had rushed home during his lunch break, feeling uneasy. The moment he walked in, he saw my mother collapsed in the snow on the balcony, and the horrifying corpse curled up in the corner. "Carol! What are you doing?!" He rushed over and shoved my mother aside. When he got a clear look, his knees buckled, and he dropped into the snow. "Mia? Mia?" With trembling hands, he checked under my nose for breath, then felt for a pulse at my neck. No breath. No pulse. "Dead... she's really dead..." My father's face turned as pale as paper. His lips trembled, his eyes vacant. In the living room, Annie realized something was wrong. She climbed up from the rug, still clutching a Lego piece. Seeing the horrific scene on the balcony, she didn't burst into terrified tears like a normal child would. Instead, she frowned, a look of utter disgust crossing her face. "Ugh, that is so gross." "Mom, why are you screaming so loud?! It's so annoying! My head is starting to hurt again!" "Just throw her out! It's not like she's talking anyway." In that moment, her voice echoing through the deathly silent apartment sounded exceptionally grating. My father snapped his head around, staring fiercely at the older daughter he had always treated like a princess. In his eyes, there was only unfamiliarity and sheer horror. "SHUT UP! THAT IS YOUR SISTER!" He roared. His voice was frighteningly hoarse. Annie jumped, startled. She froze for a second, then burst into dramatic, aggrieved tears. "You yelled at me! You yelled at me for her!" "I'm telling Grandma! You're all bullying me!" My father ignored her tantrum. He stripped off his own winter coat and tried to wrap it around my tiny, stiff corpse. But the body was frozen solid in a fetal position. It was impossible to straighten the limbs. He had no choice but to scoop me up, snow and all, holding me tight against his chest. "To the hospital... yes, the hospital..." "They can still save her... they have to be able to save her..." Muttering like a man possessed, he stumbled out the door holding my body. My mother remained paralyzed on the floor, staring blankly at the dark red bloodstain left on the tiles, her eyes entirely devoid of focus.

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