At three in the morning, hearing that Ryder Anderson was having an episode, I rushed over without a moment's hesitation. But I was stopped by his friends at the private room door. The thin door couldn't conceal the intimate sounds from within. Seeing me frozen in place, the men’s faces flushed red, and they awkwardly scratched their heads. “Sister-in-law, you know, when Ryder has an episode, he doesn’t recognize anyone. This isn’t the first or second time. Please understand, he doesn’t mean it.” “That’s right, sister-in-law, everyone knows Ryder loves you to death. He’s the one suffering the most from this…” I lowered my head, staring at my raw, bruised palms. It felt as if a large hole had been torn in my heart. I thought, if we were both in such agony, why should Ryder and I continue to cling to each other, tormenting ourselves? … Everyone else left. Only I remained, self-flagellating, curled in a corner, listening as the sounds from within gradually ceased. Ryder emerged. He crouched down and held me. Like a small dog drenched in rain, he trembled, apologizing repeatedly. “Evelyn, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” “You know, I can’t control it… Please forgive me, forgive me, okay…?” His kisses on my neck were cold and clammy, carrying the familiar scent of that perfume. I bit my lower lip until it was raw to keep myself from losing composure then and there. A woman limped out of the private room. Before she could even approach, Ryder frowned in annoyance, as if she were some repulsive trash. “Get away! Don’t come near me!” Chloe Knight scoffed dismissively. She fished a pink lace thong from Ryder’s pocket. “I’m just retrieving my things.” It was still damp with disgusting fluid, showing how intensely they had just been entwined. Yet, the woman’s words carried a rare clarity, as if deliberately drawing a line. “Mr. Anderson, don’t assume all women in the world are out to get you.” “In my eyes, you’re just my patient, and our relationship is limited to that.” With that, she left without hesitation. Ryder’s jaw was tightly clenched. He stared intently at her retreating figure, a focus he himself didn’t notice. His grip on my waist even loosened slightly, though it still hurt. Ryder cursed under his breath. “Damn it, what a pain in the ass!” Then he couldn't resist letting go of me and chasing after Chloe. My nose stung, and I called out to him, my voice trembling. Ryder stopped, looked back at me, and hesitated. “There are hardly any surveillance cameras around here. Chloe Knight is out alone; it’s too dangerous.” “Evelyn, wait for me. I’ll be right back.” I stood there, stunned. I didn't know how many times Ryder had left me alone. He was afraid Chloe would be in danger, but I had come here alone too. There weren't even any streetlights on the way, and I had encountered several groups of rowdy hooligans who whistled at me. Why didn't he worry about me, or ask if I was afraid? My face felt cold. It was tears, I realized, that I hadn't known when I'd shed. The sky began to lighten, a pale fish-belly white, but Ryder never returned. Instead, Chloe posted something on social media. The photo showed messy bedsheets, and layers of hickeys on her body that wouldn’t fade. “Told my patient countless times not to be so rough. Do I not have to go out and face people?” Chloe always referred to Ryder as her patient, as if this would maintain their innocent doctor-patient relationship. But eight out of ten of her posts were related to Ryder. There was even a photo specifically showing their matching toothbrushes, bath towels, and pajamas, all couple’s items. “My patient insisted on buying these when we went grocery shopping, and forbade me from making fun of his taste. So bossy.” An uninformed person would think that she and Ryder were the couple. And I, his official girlfriend, could only secretly watch from the sidelines. Ryder drifted between two women, doing things I couldn't bear. Could I blame him? No, I could only blame myself. Because I was the one who made him this way. Being loved by Ryder was the luckiest thing that had ever happened to me, from childhood until now. The moment I graduated high school, I accepted his confession and became the envy of every girl in school. That day, many people celebrated with us, but on the way, I was abducted by three or four burly men. They bound my hands behind my back, shoved me into the back seat of a van, men gripped my waist, forcefully spread my legs, and ripped my dress. Just when I was most desperate, Ryder appeared and saved me. He fought with the kidnappers, throwing himself into the fray as if he had no regard for his own life, blocking everyone and using his own blood to carve a path for me to escape. Even now, I remember the young man’s face, drenched in blood. He clutched one of the kidnapper’s legs desperately, taking several kicks, his usually upright back bent. Yet, he wouldn’t let go, just so I could run a little further. I was rescued by passersby, but Ryder was nowhere to be found. He was finally located in an abandoned warehouse. At that time, he was covered in wounds, his clothes blood-red, and he spent fifteen hours in the ICU before he was out of danger. After that, he developed severe psychological illnesses. Bipolar disorder, PTSD, mania… a slew of medical terms, some I understood, some I didn't, weighed heavily upon us like mountains. Ryder became volatile, irritable, hysterical. Once his condition flared up, he became unrecognizable. There was even one time he laid hands on me. Along with his illness, extreme passion erupted. He pinned me down and tormented me for three days and three nights. By the time he regained consciousness, I was practically a ragdoll. There wasn't a single unbruised spot on my body. Ryder loved me, valued me, cherished me. He held me dearer than his own life. Seeing this, he completely broke down, frantically slapping himself. He apologized to me countless times. He tried to break up with me, but he looked as desperate as if he were ending his own life. “Evelyn, I can’t control myself; I only hurt you.” “You shouldn’t… shouldn’t be burdened by a patient like me.” “Let’s break up. You… deserve better.” His tears scalded my palm. How could I possibly abandon him at a time like that? Chloe Knight appeared then, confidently proclaiming she could cure Ryder’s illness. I believed her. Their first transgression happened two years ago. Chloe’s lower body was torn, her injuries more severe than mine had been. Ryder couldn't accept his loss of control and slashed his wrists in the bathroom. It was I who held him, telling him I didn’t mind, that reignited his will to live. After the first time, there was a second. Countless times thereafter, it became routine. Ryder couldn’t bear to be rough with me; whenever his illness flared up, he’d seek out Chloe. Chloe was like a soft sponge, absorbing all his irritability and bad temper. I, however, seemed to be a catalyst for his illness; as soon as I got close to him, it would remind him of that accident. Memories of the past were like sugar-coated glass, chewed to pieces for that speck of sweetness. It wasn't until evening that Ryder returned. As soon as he walked in, he eagerly embraced me, apologizing softly. “I’m sorry, Evelyn, I had another episode. It took a long time to regain consciousness.” My silence made Ryder think I was still angry. He paused, then his fingers traced my shoulder strap, pinning me beneath him. The light was dim. But I still saw the forced effort and impatience in his eyes. My heart constricted. Just as I was about to refuse, Ryder reacted violently, pushing me away. My knee hit a sharp edge, instantly gushing blood. Ryder clutched his head, his face contorted in pain, howling at me to stay away from him. I thought he was afraid of losing control and hurting me, but then I heard him repeatedly muttering Chloe's pet name. “Chloe, where is Chloe?” His pupils were bloodshot, and he glared at me with hatred, as if I were the enemy separating him from Chloe. “Is it you? Did you hide Chloe?!” Ryder’s words were like a sharp dagger thrust into my chest, making every breath explode with piercing pain. Chloe, who had rushed over, shoved me aside and gently comforted Ryder in her arms. Miraculously, Ryder slowly calmed down. “Evelyn Davies!” Chloe fiercely accused me. “How many times have I told you, Ryder is a patient, he can’t handle any provocation!” “The two of us have a proper doctor-patient relationship, it’s not as sordid as you think! All these years, it’s because of your unfounded jealousy that Ryder’s condition hasn’t improved!” “Do you have to kill him to be satisfied?!” The surrounding servants also whispered amongst themselves. “If it weren’t for Miss Davies, the young master wouldn’t have gotten this strange illness. This illness is tormenting enough, and Miss Davies keeps going against him, disturbing the peace of this house.” “If you ask me, Dr. Knight is more sensible, gentler, and more compatible with the young master.” A maid glanced at me, her meaning clear. “Looking at how the young master holds Dr. Knight like a treasure, the one truly in his heart is probably someone else.” “Someone’s dream of soaring to become a phoenix is probably going to fall through!” The servants’ snide remarks made my face flush then pale. And Ryder, having regained consciousness, didn’t utter a single word in my defense. He merely clung dependently to Chloe, as if Chloe was the beloved he cherished. My tears instantly welled up. I couldn't believe he would be so cold towards me, and instinctively called out his name. Chloe quickly covered Ryder’s ears, frowning as she yelled at me. “Evelyn Davies, Ryder just got a little better, and you’re provoking him again!” “If you have any conscience, leave quickly! You’re not welcome here!” “Mrs. Henderson!” Chloe ordered her. “Get her out! Don’t let her cause a scene here!” Ryder’s indulgence was acquiescence. The servants were skilled at assessing the situation. Mrs. Henderson, who had always been respectfully polite to me, now had a cold face. She gripped my wrist tightly, dragging me out. Outside, it was freezing. They didn’t even leave me a jacket. I shivered, refusing to give up, and stood outside the door, only to see Ryder pressing Chloe against himself, eagerly kissing her lips. Chloe’s tone was mocking. “Mr. Anderson, Evelyn Davies is right outside watching. Are you sure you want to… with me right now?” His response was the man’s urgent thrusts and heavy breathing. “Damn it, let her watch if she wants. Who cares about her!” My heart instantly turned cold. I wandered aimlessly onto the street, eventually finding myself outside a jewelry store. There, a brilliant diamond ring was kept. It was an engagement gift from my mother before she passed away. I wanted to retrieve it, but the staff informed me that the ring had been taken by Ryder a year ago. “But that’s a keepsake my mother left for me. How could you just…” The sales associate, maintaining a polite, distant smile, interrupted me. “I apologize, Miss Davies, but we only recognize the deposit slip here.” “Mr. Anderson presented the deposit slip to retrieve it, which is perfectly reasonable and compliant. Furthermore, he informed us it was a gift for his girlfriend…” The associate paused, her voice tinged with pity. “He was accompanied by a Miss Knight. If you have any questions, perhaps you should ask Mr. Anderson?”
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