My grandmother has this obsession with making me go to bed early and waking me up hours before I need to. I start work at 8 AM, but she wakes me up at 5 AM. Every time, I have to lie to her: "It's already 9 AM! I'm going to be late!" just to get her to stop. Over time, the severe sleep deprivation gave me chronic anxiety and neurasthenia. I was even called out by HR multiple times for zoning out. One more mistake, and I'd be fired. I begged my grandma: "I set my own alarm. I don't need you to wake me up!" She wiped her tears, acting like the victim. My dad saw this and slapped me across the face. "Just go to sleep earlier! Why do you have to make your grandmother cry?" I suddenly remembered that my dad was still banking on my salary to pay for his surgery. Fine. Let them push me. It’s not like I’m the one who needs the money. 1 At 8 PM, I finally finished a project and dragged myself home. The workload had been insane lately. I hadn't had a break in forever. I planned to zone out in front of the TV for a bit. "Susie, you're back? No work today? Why are you watching TV?" Grandma came out of her room. Afraid the volume would bother her, I muted it immediately. I explained that the project was wrapping up and tomorrow was a big day, so the company let us go home to rest. But I still had to review some files my colleague would send over later. I checked the time. The files wouldn't arrive for a while. So, I just wanted to relax. Hearing this, Grandma got anxious. She walked over and turned off the TV. The screen went black. Her tone was urgent and undeniable. "It's almost nine! Why are you watching TV? Go to sleep! You have work tomorrow. If you sleep late, you won't get up." "By the way, sweetie, what time do you have to wake up tomorrow?" I sighed helplessly. "Grandma, I still have to review files later." "And for tomorrow, I set my own alarm. I'll get up on time. Don't worry." I knew her temper too well. If I told her the actual time, she'd be knocking on my door hours beforehand. Better not to tell her. Tomorrow was a heavy workload; I needed rest. Grandma didn't get the answer she wanted and walked away, looking dissatisfied. I rested for a bit until the files arrived. By 10 PM, I finished the revisions. My boss, Mr. Henderson, called to discuss some details for the morning meeting. Just as I picked up, Grandma walked in with a cup of warm water, urging me to drink it and sleep. I nodded perfunctorily and continued talking to Henderson. Five minutes later, she was back at the door, muttering about how staying up late damages the liver and causes wrinkles. I was afraid she'd come in and yell if I ignored her, which would be humiliating if Henderson heard. So I nodded again, signaling I'd hang up and sleep soon. But my worst fear happened. Grandma suddenly pushed the door open, her voice booming. "It's so late, why are you still on the phone? Hang up and sleep! Can't you talk tomorrow?" I covered the mic in panic, but Henderson had already heard. His voice was awkward. "Alright... Susie, you get some rest. No rush, we can discuss the details tomorrow." I looked at the ended call, furious. I wanted to argue with her. But seeing Grandma with tears in her eyes, looking so "concerned," I deflated. I had nowhere to vent this anger. I just agreed to go to bed, apologized to Henderson via text, and got ready for sleep. Grandma finally left, satisfied. Maybe I was too exhausted, but it felt like I had barely slept when a violent banging on the door woke me up. Grandma's frantic shouting accompanied it. "Get up! It's almost ten! Don't you have work? You're going to be late!" The banging was loud and urgent, like she was trying to break the door down. I shot up from bed, mind blank, adrenaline spiking. Henderson said there was an important meeting at 9 AM today. I grabbed my clothes and threw them on. Without even putting on shoes, I rushed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. As I finished, I noticed the window looked... different. Too dark. I picked up my phone suspiciously. The time on the screen made me freeze. 3:07 AM. A wave of suppressed grievance and rage crashed over me. I walked to Grandma's room and raised my voice. "Grandma! It's 3 AM! Why are you waking me up? I told you I set an alarm. Why won't you listen?" Grandma came out, eyes instantly red, wiping them with her hand. "I... I asked you what time to get up, and you didn't say. I was afraid I'd call you too late and you'd miss work, so I called you as early as possible." Her voice was full of grievance, like a helpless child. "If you had just told me when you were leaving, I wouldn't have woken you up so early." I was exhausted. After consecutive days of high-intensity overtime, I didn't have the energy to fight her. "Didn't I say I set an alarm?" "How is an alarm reliable? What if the battery dies? What if it doesn't ring? I'm doing this for your own good. I don't want your boss to yell at you." She insisted on her logic, looking at me with total confusion. Seeing her about to cry, I didn't know how to vent my anger. I took a deep breath, suppressing the turmoil, and explained gently. "Grandma, I just need to leave by 8:30 tomorrow. You don't need to wake me up early. I set multiple alarms. I will get up. I won't be late." I watched her turn back to her room. Only when I heard her light click off did I relax. This should be fine now. Rubbing my throbbing temples, I walked heavily to the living room. I took out my meds for anxiety and insomnia. My sleep had always been poor. With the stress, if I didn't take them, I wouldn't sleep at all tonight. Back in bed, I checked my alarms again before lying down. My eyelids were heavy, but my nerves were strung tight. The slightest noise would wake me. I didn't know how much time passed before I drifted off. "Susie! Get up! The sun is burning your butt!" I jerked awake from a dream. Reflexively, I grabbed my phone. 5:00 AM. In that moment, all the exhaustion, grievance, and patience exploded. I stared at the number on the screen, rage rushing to my head. "Grandma, can you stop?!" "I told you I set an alarm! I don't need to get up until 7! Why are you waking me at 5?!" Grandma was already by my bed, her tone urgent as always. "Is 5 AM early? You have to leave by 8:30. Washing up and eating takes time, right? What if there's traffic? Better to be early." "I don't need breakfast! I'll buy something on the way!" "I need sleep! I need rest!" I pointed at my head, my voice rising. "Grandma, I have neurasthenia. The doctor said I need sleep! You torture me like this again and again—what if I make a mistake tomorrow? What if I get fired?" The smile on Grandma's face froze. Seeing my agitation, her eyes reddened again. "I... I'm doing this for your own good... afraid you won't make it..." "If it's for my own good, stop disturbing my sleep!" I interrupted her, my voice breaking. "Do you know how important this job is? Dad is counting on my salary for his surgery! If I get fired, what about the medical bills? Have you thought about that?" "I didn't mean to harm you... I was just afraid you'd be late..." I threw the covers off, grabbed a jacket, and stormed to the door without a word. After pushing Grandma out, I slammed the door and locked it. I leaned against the door, chest heaving. I knew I was impulsive, but I couldn't take it anymore. Back in bed, I pulled the covers over my head to block out everything. The medication seemed to kick in. Combined with extreme exhaustion, I actually drifted off again. I don't know how much time passed when a soft knock sounded. Followed by Grandma's cautious voice. "Susie, get up for breakfast. I made your favorite oatmeal and eggs. It'll get cold." I woke up with a start, covered in cold sweat. I checked my phone. 5:30 AM. Only thirty minutes since the last time. A deep sense of powerlessness washed over me. I lay there, not wanting to move. Sleepiness drowned me like a tide, but my mind was wired tight. The torture of a body wanting sleep but a brain unable to relax was driving me insane. "Susie? Did you hear me?" Grandma's voice was softer, probing. "The oatmeal is really soft, good for your stomach. Eat a little and then sleep." I closed my eyes, gritting my teeth, forcing myself not to respond. In a trance, memories of being woken up too early by Grandma flooded back. It was the winter of my sophomore year in high school. Mom was diagnosed with a serious illness and hospitalized. Dad had to stay at the hospital 24/7, so he brought Grandma from the countryside to take care of me. When she first arrived, she promised Dad she'd take good care of me. Looking at my kind grandmother, I was happy. But I never expected her to wake me up the next morning before dawn. "Susie! Get up! It's 6:30! You'll be late for school!" I asked groggily. "Grandma, it's pitch black. How is it 6:30?" "You child, you're sleeping too deeply!" She threw clothes at me. "Put them on! I heated up breakfast. Eat and go, don't let the teacher catch you late." I was young and didn't dare disobey her. I fumbled to get dressed. She brought warm oatmeal. I took two bites and was ushered out the door. The moment I pushed open the building door, I was stunned. Outside was pitch black. Not a soul on the street. How could it be 6:30? I stood at the door, wanting her to let me back in. But the door was deadbolted from the inside. Freezing and trembling, filled with grievance and fear, I had no choice but to walk to school. It wasn't until after 6 AM that other students started arriving. No one knew I stood at the school gate for over three hours that day. When I got home, I cried and told Grandma. Hoping she would change. She listened, eyes red, holding my hand. "Oh sweetie, Grandma was wrong. I'll check the time carefully next time." I believed her. But a few days later, she woke me at 3 AM, claiming I was late again. I argued, but she frowned and said: "Getting up early is never wrong. What if the bus is late? What if there's traffic? Why are you being disobedient? Do you want your parents to worry about you at a time like this?" Afraid of stressing my sick mother, I didn't dare argue back. From high school to college, to graduation and work, this pattern of early waking entangled me for years. A year ago, due to chronic sleep deprivation, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and neurasthenia. 2 "Susie? Are you getting up? The oatmeal is really getting cold." "Enough! Are you done yet?!" I screamed at the door, my voice tearing. The knocking stopped instantly, followed by Grandma's sobbing. "I made breakfast out of kindness, afraid you'd be hungry. How can you treat me like this? I'm old, useless... even cooking for my granddaughter is annoying... I'm just a burden." "I didn't call you a burden!" Her crying got louder, filled with confusion and grievance. "I got up early to cook, afraid you'd be late. I think of you in everything, but you talk to me like this... If you won't eat, fine. Others need to eat! Your brother is still sleeping, go wake him up to eat." I wanted to laugh. My brother, Tyler, has been mooching off the family since graduation. Sleeps until afternoon, games all night. Grandma never wakes him up early. Now she wants me to wake him? I couldn't deal with her. I put in earplugs, determined not to open the door. Minutes later, my door was pounded heavily. Tyler's impatient voice followed. Grandma must have said something to him. "Susie, are you shameless? Grandma made breakfast early, and you're cursing her out?" Cursing her? When did I curse her? I knew Grandma was triangulating again. It was her signature move. Whenever we had a conflict, she went to Tyler and Dad, complaining about how bad I was. Packaging herself as the bullied victim, making me the villain. Tyler's knocking got louder. "Open the door! Or I'm kicking it in!" "Tyler, don't kick the door." Grandma's voice chimed in, not stopping him, but fueling the fire. "Talk to your sister nicely. Tell her if she doesn't get up, she'll be late. If she loses her job, what about your dad's surgery fee? She can't be this immature." "Hear that, Susie?" Tyler shouted louder. "Grandma said it! Open up! Don't make me do it!" Just then, Dad's raspy cough came from the hallway. "What is that noise! Can't a man rest?!" Tyler stopped banging, tone softening instantly. "Dad, Sis won't open the door! Grandma called her to eat, she was ungrateful and yelled at Grandma. Grandma's crying!" "Susie! Open this door!" Dad started banging harder. Listening to the three of them perform outside, I felt nothing but agony. I didn't understand. We were a family. How did it become like this? "Your grandma cooked for you out of kindness, woke you up so you wouldn't be late. How are you so immature? Daring to talk back to your grandma and get angry at your brother!" I took a deep breath, gritting my teeth. "You still dare to have an attitude!" I yanked the door open. Dad's eyes were full of rage. Grandma sat on the sofa wiping tears, shoulders shaking. Tyler leaned against the doorframe, gloating. I met their gazes, voice hoarse but clear. "My job is this family's lifeline! The surgery fees, the rehab costs—what isn't supported by my salary? If I get fired for mistakes due to sleep deprivation, who is going to step up? You can all go pick through trash then!" Dad's face turned iron-green. He didn't expect me to speak like that. He shook with anger. Slap! A crisp sound echoed in the living room. My head snapped to the side, cheek burning. Dad's hand was still in the air, eyes furious. "I'll beat you to death, you ungrateful thing!" Grandma immediately stood up, grabbing Dad's hand, crying. "Son, don't hit her, don't hit her. Susie is young, she doesn't know better. We'll teach her slowly. I can suffer a little..." Her eyes held no real intention to stop him, but a trace of hidden triumph. As long as Dad and Tyler stood with her against me, she could be the "Good Grandma" again. Speaking for me. "Mom, don't always victimize yourself. I wish I never had such a shameless daughter." Tyler fanned the flames. "Dad hit her right! Sis is too immature. Grandma was nice to cook, and she talks back. Anyone would be angry!" "Grandma, don't blame yourself. We see everything." I covered my burning cheek, looking at this family, feeling utterly ridiculous. "Fine. I'm immature. Since you all think I'm wrong, I'll be wrong all the way." I was young, educated, and had some savings. I wouldn't starve. If they wanted to create chaos, I'd let them. I walked to the table and sat down. The oatmeal was cold. Clearly not made this morning. Probably leftovers from yesterday. Seeing me sit, Grandma sniffled. "Eat quickly, then go to work. Don't be late." I didn't have the energy to fight over food. I ate quickly, put down the bowl, and got up to leave. Just then, my phone blared its alarm. 7:20 AM. The time I should have woken up. Hearing the alarm, the grievance on Grandma's face vanished, replaced by a relieved satisfaction. Like she had won the battle. She stood up, smoothing her clothes. "Alright, alarm rang. Go to work. Don't be late." She didn't look at me again, turning slowly to her room and closing the door. Dad yawned and went back to his room to sleep. In minutes, the family that had just surrounded and scolded me all went back to sleep. Only I was left in the living room. I looked at the empty room, feeling the absurdity. They had energy to fight me because they could sleep while I worked. So ironic. 3 Arriving at the office, my colleague Jessica looked surprised. "Susie, what happened? You look terrible." Her voice attracted concerned looks. I forced a smile, shook my head, but felt bitter inside. Sitting down, turning on my computer, Mr. Henderson appeared at the door, eyes sharp on me. "Susie, come to my office." My heart sank. I followed him. Inside, Henderson pointed to the chair. Straight to the point. "Your recent state is very poor. If you can't balance family and work, I personally think we need to reconsider your promotion. The company doesn't need an unstable Sales Director." My breath hitched. I knew what he meant. If this contract went through, the promotion was a done deal. But my state yesterday and today, plus Grandma's interference... Henderson was worried. I clenched my fists. "Mr. Henderson, I know I messed up. I prepared this proposal for a month, checked every detail. Give me one more chance. I can land this." Henderson looked at me, silent for a few seconds, then agreed. "Go over the details we didn't finish yesterday." I pulled out the documents. Just as we reached the critical pricing split, my phone rang. I pulled it out instinctively. Grandma. I couldn't fathom why she was calling now. I muted it, apologizing to Henderson. He frowned but signaled me to continue. Two sentences later, it vibrated again. Grandma. Irritated, I turned the phone off. But the next second, the burner phone in my pocket rang. Henderson's face went dark, disappointment evident. "Take the call. Handle your personal business before working." I bit my lip, answering. Grandma's frantic voice came through. "Susie! Why did you take so long? Did you eat lunch? Remember to come home early after work, don't stay out!" "Grandma, I'm negotiating an important contract with my boss. Can you stop calling?" Grandma choked up instantly. Same logic. She cares, I'm ungrateful. I had no patience for her performance. Jessica, my competition for this project, had already walked in to brief Henderson. Henderson nodded frequently, satisfaction visible. I didn't know what I was thinking. I hung up. Soon, Dad texted. [Grandma cares about you, why hang up on her?] [Susie, don't think because you're grown you can disrespect elders.] [By the way, end of the month. You got paid right? Transfer the medical fees.] I looked at the message, lost in thought. Paid? I looked like I was about to be fired. Dad loved chewing tobacco. Got oral cancer. Surgery was expensive. I was the only earner. I didn't understand why they treated me like this. I didn't reply. Jessica stood before me. "Susie, do some routine work if you're not feeling well. Mr. Henderson gave me the project." Her eyes held ambition and relief. I forced a smile to congratulate her.
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