After losing a bet, I was forced to confess to the school’s ice-cold genius. [Text: "Need a girlfriend? I promise I’m a good girl."] A second later, I was blocked. Just as I was about to give up in despair, I stumbled upon him choking himself, veins popping on his forehead. He was arguing with himself, switching between cold and manic: "Let go. Get a grip, man!" "Get a grip? You blocked my girlfriend! I’ll kill you!" Me: ...Girlfriend? Me? Suddenly, a stream of floating comments appeared before my eyes: [OMG! It’s dual personalities! We’re saved!] [Hehe, does this mean the golden retriever personality will cook while getting jealous of himself?] [Lucky girl! Two for the price of one...] Me: ??? 1 [Text: "Need a girlfriend? I promise I’m a good girl."] Staring at the red exclamation mark indicating a failed message, my world collapsed. The great Academic God, Caleb Thorne, minoring in mood swings? Two minutes ago, he added me! [Text: "How should I catch you? A sack or sweet talk?"] Looking at that blatant flirtation now, the irony was thick. Why did I think he’d be interested in a chubby, plain girl like me? But did he have to prank me? Tears pricked my eyes. I couldn't help but curse him out: [Text: "I don't like perverts who wear pink leopard-print boxers anyway!"] If it wasn't for his weird fetish, I wouldn't have lost the bet in the first place. I wanted to keep typing, but I realized the message had gone through. The embarrassment was physically painful. I curled my toes. Did he block me by accident? I tried to save it: [Text: "I wasn't finished! I meant I don't like perverts, I only like you."] Ugh... That message bounced back with a red exclamation mark. My roommates burst out laughing. "I told you! With eyes like that, there's no way he's blind." "Mia, just getting him to notice you enough to block you is a victory over 99% of the girls here." "It was just a joke anyway. You didn't actually think Caleb would like you, right?" I forced a bitter smile and waved my hands. "Of course not." But my chest felt like it was stuffed with wet cotton. I couldn't breathe. If he didn't like me, he could have just ignored me. Why toy with me? Is being fat and ugly a sin? I hid in a tree deep in the campus woods to cry. Suddenly, I heard a violent argument. I wiped my eyes and looked down. Caleb Thorne was gritting his teeth, choking his own neck, veins bulging on his forehead. He slammed himself against the tree trunk, switching between icy cold and manic rage: "Let go! Get a grip, man!" "Get a grip? You blocked my girlfriend! I’ll kill you!" Me: ...Girlfriend? I pointed a finger at myself. "Me?" Suddenly, floating comments appeared in my vision like a Twitch stream: [OMG! It’s dual personalities! We’re saved!] [Hehe, does this mean the golden retriever personality will cook while getting jealous of himself?] [Lucky girl! Two for the price of one...] Me: ??? Frozen, I watched as Caleb looked up. 2 Startled by his sharp gaze, I panicked and grabbed two branches to hide my face. The comments popped up again: [Girl, stop hiding! He already saw you. Your face is redder than a stop sign.] [Uh oh, his eyes changed again! Murderous intent!] [Doomed. The two personalities disagree. Run, girl!] I stiffened. I looked down nervously. Our eyes met. His gaze was deep, like a black hole threatening to swallow me. I panicked. I was about to yell "I'm blind!", but then his eyes changed. They became clear, shy, and full of obvious affection. Yay! The negotiable personality! I smiled and was about to wave, but before I could speak, his expression turned cold and mocking again. Back and forth. My face mirrored his, switching between fear and smiles until my muscles ached. I was afraid his split personality was contagious! Suddenly, Caleb grabbed his own collar and growled: "I'm going on a date with my girlfriend. Don't scare her again. Get lost!" Then, one of his hands slowly, painfully pried the other hand off: "Why should I?" "Why don't you ask her whose girlfriend she wants to be?" Me: "..." Is there a difference? The comments went wild: [Seen guys fight for a girl, never seen a guy fight himself. Surprise! The other man is you.] [How about this: try one personality for a few days, then the other. Pick the best one. Our girl is fair.] [Just live happily as a throuple. 1v2 is the optimal solution.] Me: "?" I’ve heard of people awakening systems, but usually, the comments give helpful advice. Why are mine just instigating chaos? Before I could process it, Caleb was eager to climb the tree. "Babe, don't be scared! I'm coming to save you! I'll show you what boyfriend material looks like!" But the next second, he leaned lazily against the tree, arms crossed. "Go ahead. Let's see you save her." Then he punched himself in the face and fell to the ground. "Give me back my body! If you stop me from saving her, I'll kill you!" "Kill me then." He wiped the blood from his lip, forcing a sinister smile. "If I die, you disappear too. Then your 'babe' will be with another man. They'll hold hands, kiss, sleep together..." Caleb’s words made me overheat. "Enough!" I shouted in embarrassment. In my agitation, I didn't notice I had scooted onto a thin branch. Snap. The branch broke. "Ahhh!" I fell. 3 The pain I expected never came. I tentatively touched what was underneath me. Hm, soft. Touch again. Whoa, hard. The comments doubled their scrolling speed: [This belongs on AO3, not here.] [Look at his dazed eyes. He says no, but his body says yes.] [So who saved her? And who did she just grope?] [Judging by the way he dove to cushion her fall, it must be...] "Done touching?" Caleb’s voice came from below. Three parts cold, seven parts strained. I shivered. That was the Caleb who didn't like me. Ignoring the comments, I scrambled up and bowed repeatedly. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I'm heavy. Even though the tree wasn't high, I must have hurt him. His hand stayed on his chest, brows furrowed. "Thank you for saving me. But don't do that again. It's dangerous." "I have lots of padding, it doesn't hurt when I fall—ahhh!" Caleb reached out and pinched my cheek. "Hurt?" I rubbed my cheek and nodded. "Yes." He wanted to say more, but his hand suddenly clamped around his own throat. "You touched her! I didn't even dare, how dare you?" He let out a muffled groan. Gritted his teeth. As if fighting a powerful force, he slowly moved his hand toward my face. "I—will—touch!" "You—want—to—die!" Caleb’s bright eyes turned dark. One hand choked himself, the other stubbornly reached for my face. Seeing him get closer, I panicked and dodged to the side. But I tripped on a rock. Before I fell, I grabbed at anything I could find. I didn't have time to choose. I pulled Caleb’s pants down. White legs flashed before my eyes. The atmosphere froze instantly. Even the comments went silent for a moment before exploding: [His underwear is so flashy! Tsk tsk, surprised he found his size.] [Look at the puppy's blank face. Both of them are stunned. Didn't know our girl was so bold.] [Go, girl! Besides being handsome, he has a lot of hidden treasures waiting to be discovered.] My face was burning red. I scrambled up to apologize. I looked up into that expanse of pink leopard print and lost my voice. I lowered my head and ran for my life. 4 I couldn't sleep. The comments were still scrolling. From the fragments of information, I pieced together that this world is a romance novel. Caleb is the male lead. The female lead... Yes, it's me! My heart pounded. [Look at her smile! She's definitely thinking about the puppy.] [Crush turned reality. If I were her, I'd wake up laughing.] [Her face is red. Is she thinking about the... hehehe...] I covered my hot cheeks, breathing fast. I couldn't get the image of Caleb in those pink leopard boxers out of my head. He was... kind of cute. I hid under the blanket. But I swore I’d seen that pattern somewhere before. Outside, rain started to fall. My memory rewound to the day I first met Caleb. It was raining, and I was the only one in our dorm with an umbrella. But as soon as I opened it, my roommates snatched it. They squeezed under it, laughing like it was their right. "Mia, this umbrella is perfect for the three of us. You can let us have it." "You're so sturdy, a little rain won't hurt." "Think of it as a weight loss sauna. You'll thank us." They walked away without waiting for an answer. The rain got heavier. I jogged after them to get my umbrella back. I stepped in a puddle and twisted my ankle, falling into the mud. Mud splashed everywhere. People walked around me with looks of disgust. My roommates were long gone. I tried to stand up, but the pain was blinding. I fell back down. Pain and humiliation overwhelmed me. I started to cry. Just as I couldn't tell rain from tears anymore, the rain stopped over my head. A pair of white shoes appeared. Then, Caleb’s face—so handsome it made my heart skip—leaned in close. "Biomechanical studies prove that when body mass distribution exceeds the golden ratio of 0.618, the torque on the ankle joint becomes pathological. With a BMI over 28, you not only increase joint stress but also cardiovascular risk by 47%." Caleb’s cold voice cut through the rain. That was the last thing he said to me that day. Thinking of that, my excitement vanished. I deflated like a balloon. I missed the sunnier personality. If only he were the real Caleb. Too bad. I poked my belly fat. Male lead and female lead? So what? Fat blocks the protagonist's halo. After much thought. I decided— Diet! 5 The next morning, I swapped meat buns for veggie ones. And five for two. My roommate looked surprised, then sneered. "Mia, Caleb really hurt you, huh? Dieting now?" "You don't think losing weight will make him like you, do you?" "Didn't you hear? He rejected the school beauty. You think you have a shot?" Her mockery stabbed me like a knife. This wasn't my first diet. But every time, their teasing made me lose confidence, and I gave up. Just like liking Caleb. I never dared to let anyone know. I only watched from afar. Using the bet was the only way I could muster the courage. They wanted to see me fail. But I just wanted to be closer to him, even as a joke. But once you get a taste, you get greedy, right? I clenched my fist to retort. Ding. My phone buzzed. Caleb: [AHHHH sorry babe I just saw this!] Caleb: [Babe, that message was for me, right? Only for me, right? Just for me, right?] My heart raced. My face heated up. I forgot I sent Caleb a "Goodnight" sticker before bed. I didn't expect a reply. I just wanted to see if I was still blocked. Silence all night made me think he wouldn't respond. But he... The comments popped up out of nowhere: [Don't be mad, girl. He didn't reply last night, but he stared at your chat for hours.] [The other personality usually hides. If the main hadn't deleted you, he wouldn't have exploded.] [Comfort the puppy! He's crazy enough to kill himself!] I woke up and started typing. Ding ding ding. Messages interrupted me. Caleb: [Remember when I pinched your cheek and asked if it hurt? I wanted to tell you to always be honest with yourself.] Caleb: [Now, tell me honestly. You were thinking of me when you sent that, right?] Me: "...?" Changed personalities? Caleb: [Screenshot ("Need a girlfriend? I promise I’m a good girl.")] Caleb: [Not anymore, good girlfriend.] My eyes widened in shock. Before I could react, more messages came. Caleb: [Babe, don't believe him. He's not me. He's just using you to provoke me.] Caleb: [We already agreed you're my girlfriend. You're mine! Mine! Don't talk to him!] Face: completely red. I felt like I was in a furnace. Sweating. Profusely. 6 Thinking about how to reply to Caleb made me distracted all morning. I didn't even hear the bell. Until someone nudged my elbow. I pretended to listen to the lecture. "Calling your name," a classmate whispered. I stood up abruptly. "Okay, Mia Smith. Courageous. You'll play the Princess." Me: "?" What? Princess? Laughter erupted. Everyone was looking at me. Their eyes full of mockery made me feel like a joke. I realized I’d been played. [The guy playing the Prince is a creep who likes to grope girls. Don't do it!] [Yeah, don't go. Or the male lead will get expelled for beating him up to protect you.] My heart sank. I raised my hand to explain the misunderstanding. But my roommates rushed over and covered my mouth, holding me down. I watched the drama club president leave after giving instructions. I was furious. When they let go, I pushed them hard. "Am I not good to you?" "Why treat me like this?" They stole my face wash, my lotion. They always picked expensive places for dinner, and I always paid. They said they'd Venmo me later, but never did. My parents said meeting people is fate, don't be petty. So I paid because I could afford it. But they were getting worse. And this time it involved Caleb. I wouldn't take it anymore. "Are you crazy, Mia?" They stumbled back, and seeing the crowd gather, they fell on purpose. Looking pathetic and innocent. "Mia, we just saw you were sad about Caleb rejecting you. We wanted you to play the Princess to cheer up." "Yeah, maybe you'll meet other guys. Maybe you'll find love." The crowd gasped, whispering among themselves, faces full of disgust. "Did I hear right? A pig wants to date a god? Enough." "I declare this the worst smear campaign against Caleb ever." I wanted to stomp my feet. The frustration swelled in my chest until it hurt. My fists turned white. "Who said I got rejected?" "And which eye saw me sad?" "Stop lying, Mia. Your bed shook all night. If you weren't crying, were you doing something unspeakable?" Laughter erupted again. Some guys looked at me with dirty eyes. My eyes burned. Tears blurred my vision. "I was laughing! Laughing, you idiots!" "Caleb accepted my confession!"
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