After my parents died, I was taken in by my father's best friend, the Vance family. On my sixteenth birthday, Caleb Vance kissed me while drunk and demanded I only like him. At eighteen, he coaxed me into tasting forbidden fruit, promising we'd be entangled for a lifetime. At twenty-four, I wanted to get married. But he said he wouldn't marry me. After a month of cold war, our friends organized a party to help us reconcile. That day, Caleb brought a young girl with him. The girl's shy smile looked exactly like mine at eighteen. My friends stood up for me: "Caleb, what the hell is Elara to you?" Caleb sneered. "Why are you all overreacting?" "I only see Elara as a sister. Just because she lived in my house all these years doesn't mean I have to marry her, right?" 1 After saying that, he lowered his head and kissed his little girlfriend's hair. He looked around the room. "Don't spread rumors about my relationship with Elara Vance. My girlfriend might misunderstand." "She's young. Hard to comfort." Sitting across from him, Liam, who grew up with us, gritted his teeth. "Caleb Vance, are you serious right now?" Everyone knew about my relationship with Caleb. Liam was speaking up for me. Caleb glanced at him lazily, lit a cigarette, and his face turned cold. "Liam, since when are you and Elara so close? Is it your turn to stand up for her?" His gaze swept over me indifferently, then he pinched his girlfriend's cheek. "Babe, wait for me outside. It's too noisy here. I'll take you somewhere else later." The girl was obedient. She glanced at him timidly and left quietly. Once she was gone, Caleb lifted his eyelids to stare at me. "Elara, we were consenting adults. Is it fun for you to keep putting our friends up to pressure me into marriage?" Before I could answer, he blew a smoke ring and smiled indifferently. "I never said you were my girlfriend, did I?" I looked numbly at the face I had loved for eight years, suddenly feeling like he was a stranger. Liam stood up to punch him. "Caleb, are you even human saying sh*t like that?" I held Liam back tightly. He gritted his teeth. "If you want to break up, do it with some dignity. Why humiliate her like this?" Caleb's gaze was icy. "Liam, you're defending her so much. Do you like her?" "Fine, I don't want her anymore. Go ahead and chase her." "I've slept with her for years anyway. Even if she's not bored, I am." As soon as the words left his mouth, Noah, sitting in the corner, smashed his wine glass. Everyone turned to look at him. 2 Noah was the "high mountain flower" of our circle—aloof and untouchable. When I first arrived at the Vance house at twelve, I was most afraid of him. He always acted older than his age, always stern, always sparse with words. Regarding Caleb and me, whether we were being affectionate or fighting, he never showed any extra emotion. His sudden outburst surprised me. He looked coldly at Caleb. "You've crossed the line." "What? You're going to lecture me too?" Caleb sneered. "I didn't expect everyone to be more anxious about my family affairs than I am." "Elara Vance, should I praise you for being so capable?" When I was sixteen, he said the same thing to me. But back then, it was because he found a love letter in my backpack. That day was my birthday. He looked at me with a half-smile. "Top of the class, huh? What he wrote is so cheesy." That's what he said. But after everyone left, he barged into my room, pinned me against the door, and kissed me. After a brief taste, he nuzzled my neck intimately. "Elara, you're not allowed to like anyone else. You can only like me." Back then, he was like a pitiful puppy, his tone full of grievance. I lowered my eyes, avoiding his gaze now. I just felt it was too disjointed. My heart stung a little. But I knew it was time to end things with him. "Caleb, since everyone is here today, let's make everything clear once and for all." He stubbed out his cigarette. "Speak." Even though my eyes were stinging painfully, I looked up stubbornly. "Just as you said, we have no relationship." "From now on, we go our separate ways." Caleb's fingers gripping the wine glass turned white, veins bulging. "Elara, you want to draw a line with me?" I dug my nails into my palm. "You have a girlfriend. Shouldn't you keep your distance from other women?" 3 I remembered when I was seventeen, I went to bring him his jersey. But I stumbled upon the school beauty cornering him in the locker room. "Caleb, I've chased you from middle school to high school. I like you so much, just be with me." I quickly retreated to the corner. I heard Caleb's cold voice. "You like me. What does that have to do with me?" "Move." She wouldn't give up, grabbing his hand, tears about to fall. "Don't be so mean to me. Don't ignore me. I'll be sad." Caleb showed no mercy. He pulled his hand away and looked down at her. "I have someone I like." "Keeping a distance from other girls, isn't that what I should do?" She froze. Her tears fell, making her look pitiful. "Leave. If the person I like sees you, she'll get jealous, and I won't be able to coax her back." She wiped her tears and ran off. I watched her retreating figure, thinking Caleb was cruel. But he had walked up behind me and hugged me without me noticing. "Seen enough?" "Aren't you going to praise me?" "You're cruel," I said. He laughed roguishly. "Elara, it's because I only love you." "So, you can only love me too. Got it?" His kiss fell. The minty scent of his youth wrapped around me cleanly. It let me understand what it felt like to be someone's unreserved preference. It turned out to be like this. 4 Caleb might have remembered it too. He pressed his lips together in silence. I stood up, walked over to him, and took off the ring. That was when I was twenty-two. He begged his mother for it, saying it was a family heirloom. He insisted on putting it on my finger. Now that our relationship was over, I naturally didn't need it anymore. "Caleb, here's your ring back." His brows furrowed tightly. He looked up at me, his lips trembling slightly. "I don't take back things I've given out." "It's not appropriate." I placed the ring in front of him. He stood up abruptly, didn't take it, didn't look at me. "My girlfriend is still outside." It looked like he was fleeing in panic. The room fell into a dead silence. Liam comforted me. "Elara, you guys have been together for years." "Caleb is just spiting you." Spiting me? A month ago, right here. In the same spot. I had prepared a wedding dress, wanting to propose to Caleb in front of everyone. He lost a game and chose Truth. I asked him, "Have you thought about getting married?" In the dim light, Caleb's expression was obscure. Then he answered, "I won't get married. I have a phobia of marriage." In that instant, I froze. And because I brought it up publicly, he was very unhappy. That day, he left early. My planned proposal died before it began. Looking back now. He didn't fear marriage. He just didn't want to marry me. I suddenly thought of a saying. Relationships that start unclearly will end unclearly. Caleb and I, perhaps this was as far as we could go. 5 On the way back, Noah drove. He wasn't much of a talker, and I wasn't in the mood to chat. Silence filled the air again, only instrumental music quietly spreading in the confined space. "Elara, if you..." Before he could finish, Liam called. "Elara, Caleb got into a fight!" When we arrived, the conflict was over. Outside the crowd, I watched Caleb from a distance. Maybe it was the adrenaline from the fight, or maybe he was drunk. His face was flushed as he sat in the middle of the sofa, tightly holding his little girlfriend. The girl buried her head shyly, and he lifted her chin to kiss her. There was a roar of teasing from the crowd. Someone who knew me asked him, "Bro, aren't you marrying Elara?" "Why are you keeping a little lover?" Caleb's face darkened immediately. "When did I say I was going to marry her?" The person paused, seeming to want to speak up for me. "But the one in your arms looks so much like Elara..." Caleb slammed his glass down. "Don't mention that name in front of me again. Or get out." "Starting today, this is your sister-in-law. Say hello to your sister-in-law." The people present looked at each other, unable to call such a young girl "sister-in-law." I didn't want to watch anymore. I turned and left. At the door, I met Liam who had just arrived. "What's going on with him? Is he hurt? Does he need a hospital?" He looked inside. Just in time to see Caleb pull the girl onto his lap and nuzzle her neck. Just like how he used to love being intimate with me when he loved me so much. Liam backed out. He cursed. 6 I didn't let them drive me home. I walked alone to the riverbank, involuntarily thinking of the past. At eighteen, after graduation, Caleb coaxed me into intimacy. He said we would be entangled for a lifetime. He was so wild and untamed outside. But because of one worried word from me, he quit all dangerous sports. He stayed by my side obediently. He went to the same university as me, becoming my twenty-four-hour devoted boyfriend. Everyone envied me, saying his love for me was something to show off. At twenty-one, the Vance parents discovered our relationship. Mr. Vance beat him with a cane, calling him a bastard. He held his head high, didn't shed a tear, and told them he was serious about me, that he would make me happy. Even though his back was bloody and I was crying my eyes out, he smiled and comforted me, saying it didn't hurt a bit. Later, he went to Mrs. Vance for the ring and put it on me. "You are now part of the Vance family." Liam once asked him if feelings change, would he have a change of heart. He kicked Liam and said unless he died, he couldn't stop loving me in this lifetime. Until last year, we survived the seven-year itch. He still hugged me and said his love for me was undying. He was such a fast-burner, wishing the whole world knew when he treated someone well. Loving fiercely and crazily. But I was such a slow-burner, slow to fall in love but loving for a long time. So much so that he has already extricated himself, and I am still reminiscing about the past. Reminiscing about the year he put the ring on me, and I took him to my parents' grave. He held my hand and made a promise: "Uncle, Auntie, don't worry. I will treat Elara well for the rest of my life." It turned out his "lifetime" was only eight years. It turned out the love I believed in was just a friends-with-benefits relationship without a title. I wiped away the cold tears on my face. My phone dinged with a notification. An email came in; my application for Doctors Without Borders had been approved. Departure in one week.
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