There is a joke known to everyone in New York High Society. If you want to know which number mistress Julian Sterling is dating, just look at how many whip scars are on the back of me, Mrs. Julian Sterling, and it will be clear. If you can't find fun in New York during the holidays, go to the Sterling Family Chapel, you will definitely find it. Because in the year-end admonition held in the chapel, I am always the most shameful one. After all, every now and then I will receive "Family Discipline" and get whipped because of Julian's scandals. Whole New York laughs behind my back that I am a waste who can't keep her husband's heart and only shames the Sterling family. Actually, at the very beginning when caught, Julian would also panic. After many times, facing the paparazzi's lens, he smoked a post-coital cigarette, voice lazy: "How about you guys report a few days later this time, the whip mark she got a few days ago hasn't healed yet." I often remained silent, cleaned up his mess after getting whipped. But this time, when the scandal photo of him and a young model dominated the headlines again, I knocked on Mrs. Sterling's door. "Agreed back then, either within three years he completely settles down, and my name goes on the Sterling Family Trust." "Or endure one hundred whips, can also go on." "This is the one hundredth time." "But I don't want any of these anymore." Chapter 1 New York paparazzi love chasing Julian Sterling's scandals most. After all, who can find such a bizarre scene in other wealthy families. Mrs. Sterling dealing with hundreds of cameras in front. Mr. Sterling on the big bed in the presidential suite behind her, left hand holding the shy model buried in his arms, right hand lighting a soulful post-coital cigarette. Some people know the inside story of the Sterling family, only say I am not on the trust, simply not considered Mrs. Sterling. At most a high-level mistress, helping Julian manage domestic affairs. Not worthy of being admitted by the Sterling family, but because of Julian's admission outside, occupied the title of wife. Therefore when he makes trouble, I have to accept Family Discipline. Actually, there are few devoted men in the Sterling family. Just none as unscrupulous and unabashed as Julian. Back and forth, everyone dares not say clearly, but all know well. Reporters encountered this kind of thing often, secretly gave me a nickname behind my back. Called "Ninja Turtle" (meaning enduring everything). At first just secretly called. Don't know which time bumped into one of his mistresses at a banquet. The other party might be flustered because Julian hadn't visited for a long time, vented all anger on me. She smashed her phone on my face. "Ninja Turtle!" "What are you explaining here, what Julian is unwell can't come, he just bought a yacht worth hundreds of millions for his new love, fighting a field battle at sea with her!" "Look yourself, such difficult posture, Julian said you are dead boring in bed, doing with you is worse than with a dead fish, you can't do these right?" "Photos flying everywhere, people outside laughing to death at you, you can endure this, why are you so useless Ninja Turtle?" Result that day Julian's sea battle didn't dominate Page Six. Instead the video of me being mocked as Ninja Turtle to face by Julian's mistress, eyes almost blinded by phone, became the talk of the town in New York for that period. Originally that day because failed to persuade Julian back, already received a whip before coming to banquet. Later because Ninja Turtle title widely spread, I was punished by Mrs. Sterling with Family Discipline again. After that day, discussion about how much Mrs. Sterling can endure was clamorous. Hundreds and thousands of photos, that mistress pressed my head forcing me to watch all. I actually had no fluctuation. "Just deepfake." Actually everyone knew, just for Sterling family face, said nicely. Later Julian appeared at the banquet with ambiguous marks all over his body. But only held away that tantrum-throwing mistress. Passing me, he very naturally dropped a kiss on my forehead. If there were unknowing people, would definitely think this is a pair of envy-inducing fairy couple. Pity where in New York still has unknowing people. All snickering. "Baby, you doing really great now." "I said you will be better and better at handling these things." "Little Pepper throwing tantrum, she knows how to play in bed, I like, wifey you handle it, otherwise this little thing will be sad." Only I knew in my heart. How disgusted I was at that moment. I always remember many of his lovers asked me that sentence. "Don't know what meaning you have shameless like a coward, guarding position of Mrs. Sterling." "Really psycho." Yes. I also want to know. What meaning is there left. Chapter 2 Facing sharp questions from reporters in front, I frequently distracted. Before I discharged from hospital, went to find Mrs. Sterling first. She never liked me. She also simply never thought the two choices she considered almost dead end back then, I actually realized the second one first. Haven't gone mad yet. She looked at me, expression complex. She is the person who understands her son best. Back then Julian willing to fight entire Sterling family for me, when relationship with family dropped to freezing point, was sought revenge by Sterling family's enemy, to protect me, almost lost half life. First sentence he woke up wasn't emotion of surviving disaster, but—— "Save me for what, if can't marry love of this life, better die." "Good to die ah, I found a Psychic, die can accompany my Penelope forever, just finally soul scattered, worth it." Because of these two sentences, every time heart hurt I begged myself to bet again. Beg myself believe Julian loves me so much, he will come back. Cheap? I feel myself really cheap. But I have no way. If in a desolate world never felt love suddenly appeared a person, use all strength to love you, even not hesitate die for you. I have no way. I didn't. That day Mrs. Sterling finally compromised. But proposed such two rules. In century-old prestigious family like Sterling, marriage useless, wedding ceremony also useless, as long as name not on trust list, anyone can not admit my identity. But Julian was very happy. He told me: "Penelope, my mom still loves me, such simple rules, and this second one is what bullshit, I love you, only love you, how can have others." "So ah, we just wait three years." That time, I didn't understand what Mrs. Sterling's meaningful look meant. Now seem to understand. She understood him better than Julian that year. Fresh whip wounds on my back. New wounds old wounds stacked together, that day the doctor Dr. Harper who had a fling with Julian treated wound, while looking at my back while laughing trembling. Tweezers constantly hitting on wound. "Sorry ha, this back too ugly, I really couldn't hold back." "Does Julian still do with you now? Looking at your back he also has interest? Won't vomit?" I didn't answer. Because she guessed really right. Julian few times wanted be intimate with me. But after touching my back like electric shock got up. He said nothing. But I knew he hid in bathroom vomited dark heaven dark earth. Except that time... This time reporter number more than any time before. Maybe because year end, they want dig some explosive things out. One sentence after another, my body and brain just crawled out from hospital couldn't handle. Model gently acted spoiled. Julian smoking, chuckling coaxed. Immediately raised voice lazily asked me: "Wifey, can you be faster ah, little girl very shy, can't stand so many people." "Give you another cigarette time enough or not?" "Friends, you came too fast, I haven't enjoyed enough, later change battlefield don't follow, same as before, ask money ask my wife is fine." He reached out pulled a stack of bills, threw towards those paparazzi. "Ask you guys a favor." "My wife just received Family Discipline few days ago, you guys report later this time, let her nurse injury." Actually many people don't understand why Julian wants to be like this. Lovers already hundred. Every one is a Family Discipline on my body. Still care about me? I also don't know if tell them what Julian said to me, will they laugh to death on spot. "Penelope, I just can't find freshness to your body anymore, but my body needs freshness too much, my heart forever only belongs to you." "You wait for me, wait I no longer need such freshness, I will come back." I was especially stupid that time. I asked him if he afraid I leave him. Julian smiled didn't speak. Next day, residence of orphans I adopted caught fire. No one dared help me put out fire. "Penelope look, you so kind, yourself is orphan cruelly abandoned by parents, can't bear these children suffer, but you have no ability, can't protect them well." I cried wanting kneel. He held me up. "Penelope, I love you most, so reluctant use way hurting your body let you learn be good a bit, but you always have to learn a lesson." "Leave me this kind words, can't say casually." I desperately nodded, said I know. Tears just couldn't stop. This is only person in world loves me, also person I love most. He knows best where to stab knife. Fire extinguished, children suffered minor injuries, no life danger. I but also knew, I no longer have qualification talk leaving. Chapter 3 Once I also thought, future just muddle along like this fine. Until sudden passing of child in womb. When I diagnosed pregnant, Julian actually very happy. Without me saying anything, he mentioned himself, want stay home accompany me pass whole pregnancy properly. That time too beautiful. Beautiful enough I thought past all kinds were me having nightmare. Day of fetal arrest, Julian cried more heart-tearing lung-splitting than me. I while comforting him, while thinking. Did he change, can we restart. Until a stranger message, sent me two videos. One is passionate video of him and nutritionist he hired for me entangled to death. "Julian, agreed, unlock this new position, matter I put abortion pill in her porridge write off." I don't know what kind courage let me click open second video. Is him gathering with friends in private room. Everyone calling him "New York No.1 Deep Affection". "Want me say ah, sister-in-law really in blessing not know blessing, me an outsider look everything Brother Julian did for her almost cry." "What person can let my Brother Julian vegetarian five months full day accompany ah? Actually just afraid forced abortion make her sad, so want unknowingly take away child in her belly." "Heard every bite she ate had problem." "Hahahaha, also let that nutritionist take blame, Brother Julian cool once again." "Want me say also, sister-in-law probably doesn't know Sterling family has an exception rule, if birth son, can go on trust." "Brother Julian just played how many, how can do such losing business." "That time want play bunch women casually like this again, whip and bunch bad names all fall on Brother Julian, even inheritance right maybe lost." I watched video cry and laugh. Felt myself like a lunatic. Memory scenes constantly flashed back in mind, Lingchi my thoughts. I unconsciously touched my lower abdomen. Don't know who always noticing my action. Suddenly exclaimed. "Mrs. Sterling this belly looks bigger some... this is, have it?" Group people suddenly like injected chicken blood aim camera at my belly. Originally lying on bed leisurely smoking Julian suddenly looked straight at me. "Penelope, you have it?" He doesn't remember how many times I got whipped. No matter how many times doesn't matter. Anyway I go on trust need Mrs. Sterling speak only can. Even reach thousand times, as long as he hasn't played enough, beg his own mom, can have way. Anyway I will never leave him. But if give birth to son, have to let me go on trust. Julian suddenly thought of a matter. He hasn't touched me for so long, how can I have child! I annoyed my unconscious action. Immediately forced myself calm: "Just stomach not very comfortable recently." Julian then sighed relief, casually waved hand. "Then I take Scarlett go, here you handle well." Until Julian left, I then sighed relief. Secretly warned myself, future must be cautious in words and deeds. This child, I must keep. Third choice proposed with Mrs. Sterling, is she want send me away. As long as pass this year, take advantage Julian take that model abroad, she will wipe all traces for me, let me leave. Walked process dealt with those reporters, I somewhat exhausted, wanted hurry back rest. But when walking out door suddenly grabbed by a group people. Is that doctor treated my wound, named Dr. Harper, count as one stayed by Julian side relatively long. She arms crossed looking at me, eyes full of contempt and anger. "Did you speak bad of me to Julian?" "Otherwise how would he scold me, let me check body treat you apologize? You worthy?" I was roughly dragged out by people brought by Dr. Harper. I dared not struggle hurt child, only dared protect belly. Dr. Harper been doctor so long, seen countless patients. She suddenly sneered. "Take her to obstetrics first." I was held by people, like a prisoner without dignity checked body. After getting my confirmed pregnancy report, Dr. Harper threw it on my face. "Yo, really pregnant." "Drag her into operating room, I personally do abortion for her." I panicked, desperately broke free those people. I regardless everything kowtowed to Dr. Harper. "I snatch nothing with you, beg you..." Dr. Harper unmoved, smiled sarcastic. I looked at those medical staff again. "I, I am Sterling family Mrs., aren't you afraid Julian Sterling..." Dr. Harper laughed more happily. "You think these, he doesn't know?" "Penelope, I asked you before, what for staying by Julian side shameless, if I were you, better die." "Do you know what Julian just told me? He said ah, if checked out stomach problem, treat you well, if pregnant, immediately arrange take away child." "Look how he disgusts you, mentioning your child actually so angry." I cried smiling. Human heart dead to end, actually don't want say anything. "What you guys still standing? Julian personally spoke still can be fake?" "Tie person up, Julian said no need anesthesia, let her pain a pain to remember lesson." All say mother child connected heart. At this moment, I suddenly realized little life in belly left me. Yes ah. Is me heartached this child, so want keep it. I afraid it same as me, abandoned by parents. I want tell it, at least mom always loved it. My depression always severe. Is its arrival stopped my suicide steps. Don't know where came strength, I waved away those people. Side has a fruit knife. "Why so trouble." Clinic room door don't know when opened. Julian stood at door. "Penelope!" I raised knife. But hand thrown off by pounced over Julian. Looking at Julian flustered appearance, I only felt incomparably funny. But he red eyes, looked like hate not choke me dead. "Penelope! For other's bastard, you fucking want die?" Bastard. Turns out, turns out he really remember nothing. He thought this child, is product of me and other man stealing love. He forgot that late night he drunk, brought back body full sweet greasy perfume, pressed me on bed. Struggle fruitless, he forced succeed. This time he actually didn't vomit. Affection to deep place, shouted another woman name. "Linda, why you like a dead fish today." "Really fucking boring, same as my Penelope." "I reluctant force Penelope, could it be reluctant do you?" "Not allowed cry." After end, I took body full bruises and scars fled master bedroom. Depression almost attacked, looking at sharp objects wanted scratch on body. Until perceived little life in belly. It so tenacious. When I didn't know its existence, it took so many whips with me. Yet still chose stay accompany me. My this life, one piece wrong, full board all lost. But I still want live for myself once. So I persisted one hundred whips. Persisted until Mrs. Sterling reluctant took out that promise back then. I want nothing. Chose leave. But I still couldn't wait till that day. I finally fainted due to excessive blood loss. Julian had bellyful words want ask. Panic still at moment seeing blood under my body. When I woke up, Julian bent over my bed head. Detected my finger moving he immediately woke up. "Penelope, you awake?" He looked no abnormality. Just bottom eyes full red bloodshot, dark green under eyes very severe. Like took care me here for long time. "Penelope, want water?" "Doctor said your body too weak, need nourish well, this is porridge I personally boiled, Penelope you taste." His fingers have many blisters. Should be all scalded when boiling porridge. Wanted do personally, holding spoon hurt terrible. Yet still stubborn want feed me. I didn't want pay attention to him. Turned head away. Hand subconsciously put on abdomen. Once here lived a little angel. Now gone. A line tears slowly slid from bottom eyes. Sound of porcelain breaking suddenly rang in ward. He suddenly choked my neck, forcing me turn head. Julian previously disguised indifference instantly collapsed. "Penelope! You look at me!" "Are you crying for that bastard?" "Who is that man? Who!" He admitted he now angry crazy. But I still didn't say a word, just flowing tears. So many tears, like that year he almost died, I also flowed so many tears. Now but for another man, cry like this. He whole body trembling. Hate to want directly choke me dead. At end yet found simply reluctant. "Penelope." "I love you so much, how can you betray me?" "I just wanted you abort this bastard, I treat as know nothing, nothing happened." "How can you treat me like this?" "Just for that bastard, you want die, want leave me?" "You tell me." "Is it for revenge me, intentional?" My silence made him flustered. He pinched my jaw, forced me speak. "Tell me who that man is, I go kill him, we start over." I looked at his stubborn eyes. Inside has pain, has disappointment. Also a trace expectation. I slowly opened mouth. "Julian Sterling." "How we start over." Start from day he first cheated. Start from he first killed his own child. Start from second child chose leave because of him. We long no chance start over. "This life won't have such chance." Julian after listening my answer stunned for long long time. Finally anger extreme laughed. "Penelope, you really have guts." "Do you remember when we married swore never betray." I felt very funny. "Then you?" "What count your countless lovers?" "Count you kind heart want give all world women a home?" "Julian Sterling, in this world you are person most no qualification mention betray two words." Julian smashed a fist into wall behind me. Blood flowed like stream. "But I fucking always loved only you! I said countless times, those women just tools pursue body freshness only!" "But you fucking fell in love with him!" "Penelope, I tell you, you this life don't think be with other man." "You don't say now, I also have way!" Julian is a person keep word. Mrs. Sterling said, before I leave, still have to maintain Sterling family dignity. For those poor children, I have no choice. Blink arrived New Year's Eve eve. These days Julian actually no scandal on TMZ. My depression attacked somewhat severe, really glad no matter need me handle. But when I forced up, wanted go see children, found whole building empty. Front door stood few people, seemed responsible for property liquidation. "Sorry, our future Young Madam said, Sterling family money not for miscellaneous low贱 (cheap) embryos waste randomly." Sterling family only one Young Master. Then this Young Madam, is whose Young Madam. "Young Madam and Young Master Sterling very loving, Young Madam also pregnant with Young Master child, already confirmed is boy, so birth child will go on Sterling family trust." "As for you, roadside one, goods worse than dog." Julian so many mistresses. I really no energy bother think who became Sterling family future Young Madam. This maybe is Julian way. These people dare say what do what, naturally passed his authorization. Turns out as long as he wants, anytime can let some woman on trust. These days I cut off contact with outside, almost lived myself into an isolated island. Maybe New York media at this moment all laughing at me greatly. Sterling family high gate noble, these feudal old rules they dare not laugh, can only laugh me. Three years took hundred whips. End is empty. Like a cheap goods rushing to paste. But these I don't care at all. I just afraid those children will have accident. I rushed up grabbed man collar. "Where children here?" "Where you sent them!" Man pushed me away. "Psycho!" "Young Madam kind heart, can't bear those bastards wandering, found a good place for them." "New York Underground Trafficking Ring, is a good place, boys girls all can live good life." I rushed to New York underground city. Paper drunk gold fascinating lively underground city now empty. I can't see children figures, only can hear their fear crying. I never this moment hated myself so much. Clearly want adopt them let them live well. But harmed them step on ghost gate edge again and again. I trembling hand took out phone. [Don't hurt children, beg you.] [No other person, never had other person.] [Child is yours, beg you believe me.] Don't know start when, even his trust need me bitter beg. Julian voice echoed in hall. "Penelope, to this time, you still want lie me?" "How long I didn't touch you, myself very clear." Julian heart certain, no one clearer than him. Because he once see my back will produce physiological nausea, simply can't touch me. "Where that man? You like this, can he help you? Dare he come out? He fucking is a coward." "For him, you don't even care Young Madam position, he really worth?" "Since trust matter you don't care, these children lives you also really don't care?" "I must tell you is, I buried bomb here." "You lie me again, they will die because your selfishness." "I reluctant hurt you, but you also will pay price." Julian tone already arrived edge of rage. And I panicked not choose words, whole body trembling. "Child really yours." "Do you still remember that night..." Julian deep breath. "Matter to now, Penelope, you still want make up story lie me." "But I not joking with you." "Boom" sound. Residual heat swept my face. Almost burned my heart broken. Despair extreme, probably like this. "Julian Sterling, meeting you, is biggest mistake this life." I burst out unprecedented strength, pushed away those bodyguards blocking me. Rushed towards explosion place. "Penelope!" Julian figure soon appeared in hall. Half fire sea, half dead silence cold. Julian almost collapsed. He pushed away anyone support, stumbled ran towards front. That big explosion, and fire sea after shock. Who can come out alive. I almost lost possibility survival. "Penelope!" "Ahhhhhhh—" Julian simply didn't expect would be this consequence. He didn't think I would rush in. Few bastards only, why worth I give up life save. Isn't there that man I die not willing say? Didn't I love him love to die live? Why even that man not care. Julian felt himself now like a psycho. Blame I seem not love him. Blame I fell in love with others. Blame that man useless, can't keep me. "Penelope, you owe me a lifetime!" Wait fire extinguished, Julian pushed away those people, dug alone. Dug nothing. Only a piece flying ash. Someone trembling reminded: "Sir, that big explosion and fire, person should be all burned to ash." "Impossible still find corpse..." Julian not listen. Keep digging, dig until ten fingers nails rolled, flesh blood blurred. Still found nothing. Tears mixed ash, let him despair and lost. "Penelope, you really cruel enough." Third day night. Mrs. Sterling people came. Is Mrs. Sterling ask him this Sterling family he still want or not. Julian dazed lay on ground. Had a nightmare. Dreamed me and another man love very much, happy incomparable. Wake up hearing Mrs. Sterling this sentence, he slowly stood up from ground. "Want, of course want." "Is she betrayed me, why I punish myself." Julian returned Sterling family. Let people seal this scene, ask no more. He lived like that romantic unrestrained Sterling Young Master again. Just beside that useless not admitted by Sterling family "wife", disappeared. Some say I couldn't stand another woman on trust before me, suicide. Also some say Julian simply didn't love me, kept me so long before, just I was Sterling family best shield outside. Now have real owner, of course let me hurry disappear. These remarks fermented for a while. Julian let it develop, didn't pay attention. A bold paparazzi asked these in an interview. Julian just faint smile. "Not worth person only, long forgotten." Count as confirmed rumor. Hong Kong media ridicule to me more unscrupulous. What ugly, what attract eyeball, write what. Until that day. That girl called Linda returned country, found him again.
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