At 30, I decided to resign. This secret crush that no one knew about had reached its end. I spent five years working my way up from an assistant to Lucas Sterling's chief secretary, and another three years making him dependent on me. Finally, I spent five minutes writing my resignation letter and one second submitting it. 1 When I handed in my resignation letter, Lucas frowned slightly, looking up at me quietly and slowly: "Give me a reason." I lowered my head to avoid his gaze, pulling the corners of my mouth into a smile as sincere as possible: "Mr. Sterling, I'm 30 this year, it's time to get married." I thought for a moment and added: "My boyfriend proposed to me not long ago." To resign smoothly, I told a white lie. Lucas's fingers tapped on the desk rhythmically, which meant he was extremely annoyed. Maybe I should be glad; at least he wasn't completely indifferent to my departure. After a long time, Lucas handed the resignation letter back to me: "I can approve your wedding leave. I hope you will reconsider resigning." For a moment, I wavered. A bewitching voice in my head kept saying: "Agree, agree, at least you can see him all the time." Another voice warned me: "Mia Johnson, he's getting engaged. Having a crush on a taken man is immoral." My hand hovered in the air for a long time, but I didn't take it back: "This job is too busy. After getting married, I hope to focus more on my family." "I will hand over all related affairs in my hands. Sorry, Mr. Sterling." Having said this, Lucas stopped talking and said lightly: "I understand. Happy wedding." Before I left the office, Lucas had already buried himself in work again. After all, to him, I was just a subordinate, at best the most useful one. 2 That day I sat at my desk, staring at the potted plant, dazing for a rare moment. I rarely had time to zone out like this. My daily work was very busy, coordinating daily work arrangements and serving as Lucas's personal assistant. My phone was on standby 24 hours a day. As long as Lucas needed me, I had to arrive immediately, doing the work of several people alone. Of course, Lucas also gave me a high enough annual salary. In a few years, I achieved financial freedom. Xiao Meng called me several times before I came back to my senses. "Sister Mia, Mr. Sterling asked me to tell you to go over and arrange the gathering tonight first." The gathering tonight was to welcome Sebastian, who just returned from studying abroad. The attendees were all from Lucas's small circle. The young generation of several major families, rich and noble, with eyes higher than the sky. Logically speaking, their circle did not welcome outsiders, but there was no way, I was just too useful. Someone who could take care of everyone's emotions and preferences and arrange the banquet in an orderly manner without making any mistakes was too rare. When I arrived at the venue, I started arranging non-stop. From dishes to drinks to desserts, as well as each young master's dietary restrictions and likes and dislikes, I instructed one by one. "Take away all the lilies in the banquet, Young Master Jiang is allergic." "Dim the lights a bit, Young Master Qin's eyes just had surgery." "Remember to prepare the Monkey King tea that Third Young Master Shen likes." When the sun completely set and the sky gradually darkened, people slowly came in. The first to arrive was Caleb, who greeted me when he saw me: "When will Lucas arrive?" I looked at my watch and answered cautiously: "He still has a meeting tonight, estimated to be another hour." He slumped on the sofa, looking listless, with dark circles under his eyes, very tired. I instructed someone to turn down the music volume, and found a blanket to hand him: "Autumn nights are cold, don't catch a cold. It will be a while before they arrive, you rest for a bit." He took the blanket with a smile and teased: "By the way, really not considering dumping Lucas and jumping ship to me? I'll double your salary." For people like them, there were too many bootlickers rushing up, so I seemed particularly special. Because I asked for nothing from them, getting along was open and magnanimous, which won their respect instead. Following his words, I smiled and replied: "I'll keep that in mind. If I have nowhere to go then, please take me in, Young Master Qin." 3 As the night deepened and the streetlights lit up, people gradually arrived. Lucas wore a black coat, bringing in a wisp of autumn bleakness. I took the coat from his hand, thinking this might be the last time. When the group was drinking happily, I found an opportunity to mention my resignation. Over the years, I had received everyone's care, so I stood up and toasted everyone: "I'm resigning. I didn't know anything before and caused a lot of trouble. Thank you all for your tolerance over these years!" "The mountains and waters are far away, I hope there will be opportunities to meet again." Perhaps the autumn bleakness added a sense of parting, and the dinner table was somewhat quiet for a while. It was Carter who raised his glass and toasted me from afar, breaking the awkward scene: "At the beginning, I always thought you had ulterior motives for Lucas. Until now, I truly believe." Everyone tacitly understood Carter's meaning. After all, Lucas's previous secretaries were all fired for confessing to him. Later, Lucas simply hired only male secretaries, unexpectedly getting confessed to again, thus earning the title of heartthrob. Someone patted Lucas on the shoulder, smiling and teasing: "Didn't expect it, right? Someone can really escape your charm." Lucas lit a cigar carelessly and scolded with a smile: "Get lost." After the meal, a few people got together for a card game to pass the time casually. Midway, Caleb asked inadvertently: "Lucas, have you met the girl from the Su family that your old lady arranged for you?" My heart skipped a beat, and the hand pouring water froze in mid-air. After a while, Lucas answered casually: "No, as long as the old lady is happy. Marrying anyone is the same." The marriages of their group were always mixed with various interests, the result of countless considerations. From a certain perspective, they obtained resources unimaginable to ordinary people, so paying some price was fair. It seemed Lucas had accepted such rules. I met Sarah Su once. A gentle and lovely lady, a nice girl. If possible, I hoped Lucas would have a different ending from others. 4 The dinner lasted until late at night. The drivers waited outside the house, and after it broke up here, they picked them up in time. Only Lucas's driver had some accident on the way, so he arrived a bit late. So the scene of being alone with him, which I was most unwilling to see, appeared. We stood side by side under the streetlamp, the light elongating our shadows. At times like this, those unwilling and dark thoughts in my heart would clamor. Only Lucas knew nothing. He just stood there quietly, less sharp than usual due to alcohol. After a while, the driver finally arrived. Lucas turned to look at me and asked very gentlemanly: "Together?" I shook my head, showing a grateful but distant smile at the right time: "Thanks, Mr. Sterling, but my fiancé is already on the way." So Lucas said no more, nodded slightly, and bent into the car. Finally, I was the only one left in the world. The masks worn layer upon layer during the day could finally be taken off at this moment. I kicked off my high heels casually, sat on the flower bed, rarely feeling a bit lost. For a moment, I actually didn't know where I should go. Not long after, rain began to drift from the sky. The first autumn rain after the start of autumn was cold hitting the body. I walked barefoot along the road. This was a wealthy area, and I walked for a long time before finding a place to hail a taxi. ... The road usually taken tonight was under maintenance. The driver didn't know, so he could only detour back and drive out again. Lucas didn't expect to see Mia Johnson again, waiting by the roadside in the rain, dangling a shoe in one hand leisurely. He was somewhat surprised. Didn't expect the always dignified and rigorous Secretary Johnson to have such, um, informal side. After all, seeing her in the company usually, no matter when, she was always in a sharp suit, shirt buttoned to the top. He had seen many women unbuttoning buttons, seemingly unintentionally bending down in front of him, but Secretary Johnson was an exception. So he reused her, partly because of her professionalism, and partly because she knew boundaries. When about to pass her, the driver asked in front: "Should we give Secretary Johnson a ride?" Lucas's eyes didn't ripple, answering simply: "No need." He had a bad opinion of her fiancé. Secretary Johnson was a smart person, only now it seemed her eyesight wasn't very good. But feelings, like drinking water, one knows hot and cold oneself. He shouldn't interfere too much. 5 I wasn't sure if I saw Lucas's car, but it flashed by, maybe I saw wrong. Wealthy areas probably rarely have people hailing taxis like me. The driver rushed here from far away. Only when my legs were a bit numb did I finally wait for my car. When I got home, it was already two or three in the morning. The whole house was silent. Externally I told everyone I had a happy family, a fiancé who loved me, and many friends. People often looked at me enviously and said: Life like this is complete enough. But actually, I had nothing, no family, no lover, no friends. In my middle school years, my mom got breast cancer, mid-late stage. After removing the breast, it relapsed within half an year. On an ordinary morning, my dad went to work but never came back. He ran away with all the money in the family, leaving my sick mom and underage me. After knowing this news, my mom was unusually calm. She silently underwent chemotherapy, hospitalization, and occasionally cooked for me when in good condition. One evening coming home from school, my mom prepared a table of dishes, sitting opposite smiling at me. Don't know why, I felt an inexplicable fear. Leaning close to the dishes on the table, there was a strange smell. I thought of the bottle of rat poison my mom newly bought in the bathroom. That day I knew for the first time my mom's hand strength was so great, so great that I couldn't break free no matter what. Strong survival instinct let me break free from her hands while she was unprepared. I ran panic-stricken to the rooftop somehow. My mom cried and opened her arms to me, speaking incoherently: "Baby, this world is so bad, Mom doesn't feel at ease leaving you alone here." "Come with Mom, in the next life we will still be mother and daughter." I cried too. I was so tired, so tired, and missed the smell of laundry detergent in my mom's arms. Let it be, I thought, living wasn't that good anyway. The wind on the rooftop was so strong that night, and my mom's embrace was so warm. My mom held my hand, walking step by step to the edge. At the moment of falling, I was pulled by a pair of thin but powerful hands. He dragged me tightly, no matter how I struggled. Drifting in the wind, I only saw a pair of amazingly bright eyes clearly. Later I survived, but my mom died. That person was Lucas. He not only saved me but also gave me a reason to live— Repaying kindness. I felt I betrayed my mom. At that time I was like a drowning person, anxious to grab a piece of driftwood. And Lucas was that driftwood. Later fire trucks, police cars, ambulances all came. In the surging crowd, I grabbed his hand, looking up at him: "How should I repay you?" I still remember 16-year-old Lucas looking down at me, telling me very seriously: "Then remember to come find me." My life seemed trapped on the night my mom died, and Lucas was the only hope. 6 This night I was swallowed by dreams as usual, full of past events. I saw my mom questioning me at the end why I didn't go with her, and saw that silent look my dad gave before leaving home. Waking up from the dream sweating profusely, I found my throat couldn't make a sound. Measured temperature, 101.8 degrees. If according to my usual temperament, probably take a fever reducer and forget it, then continue to work as if nothing happened. This time I rarely asked for leave. I needed some time to think about my future path. ... When Lucas arrived at the company, he found Secretary Johnson didn't come. Asked and knew, sick leave. He frowned, completely losing his impression of her so-called fiancé. Secretary Assistant Xiao Meng temporarily replaced Mia Johnson's work. She served a cup of coffee. Lucas took a sip slowly, expression unchanged. One more sugar cube put. He didn't speak, just took one sip and didn't drink again. Morning meeting materials preparation had errors again. Fortunately, he already knew the key points of this negotiation clearly, so no big accident happened. Office temperature was one degree lower, humidifier wasn't on, throat was also a bit dry. Throughout the day, couldn't say where the problem was, just felt inappropriate everywhere. Lucas thought of Mia Johnson for the first time. He seemed rarely to think of her because she seemed to have no sense of existence always. Mia Johnson's appropriateness was the kind like spring wind turning rain, moistening things silently. You can't feel her existence, but everything is just right. He frowned. This was the second time he frowned today. For Mia Johnson's unlucky fiancé, snatching his chief secretary general. ... Lying for a day, thinking for a day, I still didn't think of where to go. Like a ship lost in the ocean, unable to distinguish directions. So early the next morning, went to work honestly again. Arriving at the office, Xiao Meng looked at me cautiously, whispering: "Mr. Sterling looks in a bad mood. Yesterday morning's coffee he only drank one sip." Last night's coffee was still on the table. I dipped a little with my finger, tasted, instructed: "One more sugar cube put. Three sugar cubes, one more or one less won't do." I demonstrated the coffee making method carefully again, Xiao Meng watching closely on the side. When coffee was made, Lucas arrived at the company. Don't know if it was my illusion, the corner of his lips looking at me raised a few points higher than usual, and hidden a few points of resentment in his eyes.
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