Sunny and I are twins. Mom always says she wants to be fair, so she buys two identical copies of everything. But during New Year's Eve, my sparklers were damp and wouldn't light no matter what. I secretly swapped two of Sunny's. The moment I lit them, sparks illuminated the joy in my eyes. And also printed Mom's ugly face. "Who told you to steal from your sister? I gave you yours and you're still not satisfied?" "You like fireworks, right? Go then—" She roughly pushed me out the door, forcing little me to go to the field to light the big fireworks. The firework exploded with a bang. When the crackling fire jumped onto the stunned me. I suddenly remembered the so-called fairness over these years. Identical apples, Sunny's was crisp and sweet, but mine was rotten and yellow at the core. Identical clothes, mine were always mocked by classmates as fakes, tearing after a month. Severe pain invaded my whole body, and I closed my eyes. Mom, I'm dying now. No need to buy two copies of things in the future. Chapter 1 The moment the fuse was lit, the firework tube tipped over towards me due to poor placement. The huge impact knocked me to the ground. At the same time, the firework exploded in the ink-black sky with a bang. Brilliant streamers spread out overwhelmingly, scattering into my eyes. Like bigger, prettier sparklers. The ones stolen from Sunny didn't burn for long before Mom snatched them away. Sunny cried with red eyes, accusing me of robbing hers. I clutched my handful of damp, soft sparklers. Accumulated grievances surged. I finally looked up, asking the confusion of many years: "Mom, didn't you say everything is the same? Then why can't mine light up? Why can Sunny's?" "Since they are the same, why can't we swap?" Responding to me was Mom's slap. Embarrassment and awkwardness of being exposed flashed across her face, raising her voice to scold: "You are so young, why so greedy?" "I'm already so fair, it's your own bad luck, and you blame me and your sister?" Glancing at the crying Sunny, her anger grew. Pulling the corner of her mouth, she sneered at me: "Don't you like setting off fireworks? Go light them then, don't come back if you don't light them." Am I really too greedy? I thought. Sky full of fireworks illuminated a twisted, blackened body on the ground. Only then did I realize, that was me. I am already dead. Soul drifting, I went back home again. On the second-floor balcony, Sunny clapped her hands laughing: "Mommy Mommy, look quickly!" Sunny and I grew up in the city, rarely seeing such clear and beautiful big fireworks without obstruction. "Alright, go to sleep after watching, it's late." "I'll go warm up milk for you." Mom smiled dotingly at Sunny, turning into the kitchen. She habitually took two cups. One poured with imported fresh milk. The other, poured with the cheapest bagged milk from the supermarket, marked 'near expiry'. Mom frowned, as if smoked by the cheap milk smell. "Sunny, come." I watched Mom hurriedly make Sunny drink the milk. I'm already dead. Mom, you don't need to prepare two portions anymore. "Luna, where is Luna?" Grandma Rose in the bedroom called my name. Recently her health got worse, sometimes couldn't get out of bed. When we came back, Grandma gave me a red envelope, thicker than Sunny's. Mom questioned dissatisfiedly: "Mom, what do you mean? I give children red envelopes of identical thickness, you are biased right?" The little old lady hummed, touching my head: "I just gave Luna a bit more." "Should I learn from you? Ten one-dollar bills and ten hundred-dollar bills, that's not biased?" Grandma gave me a big hug. Unlike Mom, every time I stretched out my arms, she would frown and retreat. "No Luna, Mom's hug must be double, one for you one for sister." "If sister isn't here, giving only you, that's unfair." I didn't understand then. Why when Sunny demanded kisses and hugs from Mom. There was no talk of fairness. "Where is Luna? Luna was muttering about watching fireworks, why isn't she here?" Grandma sat up anxiously. "She went back to her room long ago, Mom, no need to worry, she's shrewd." Mom sneered, eyebrows mixed with deep disgust. "Just stole Sunny's sparklers just now. I treat her so fairly, she's still not satisfied?" "Indeed just like her dad, a greedy and cheap ungrateful wolf." Chapter 2 Pain flashed in Grandma's eyes. She clutched her chest, throat hoarse: "You can't just blame the child for everything because Luna looks like him." Floating in the air, my heart skipped a beat. Remembering these years, Mom took us out. There would be grandmas looking at us in identical princess dresses, praising with a smile: "You really balance the bowl of water well, raising both children so beautifully." "Sister is like you, then this older one is like dad, right?" Mom's smile from the second before vanished instantly. The look she gave me was like poison. Later because of my grades, Mom was called to the office. Homeroom teacher saw Mom, mouth corner hooked up an ambiguous smile: "I guessed she was your daughter, this face is exactly the same as her dad." "Academic performance is also bad." "But indeed has a pretty face, no wonder you dropped out of school to run away with a man back then, beauty misleads people." Her teasing gaze fell on Mom. Mom squeezed out a smile, veins on forehead throbbing. She roughly pulled me out of the school gate. A slap made my ears buzz. "I always treated you and your sister fairly, what did I lack you?" "You show me these grades?" She pinched my shoulder, nails almost embedding into flesh. I bit my lower lip daring not speak. Compared to the smart, generous, sweet-talking Sunny. I had nothing to show off except being praised for being prettier, cowardly and cramped in doing everything. "Dirty blood flowing in bones, no wonder I can't raise well." Mom left a cold sentence that day. Young me vaguely sensed something wrong with the role of "Dad". And gradually understood, Mom's occasional vague targeting and disgust were not my illusion. "Scarlett, your dad and I stopped you back then." "You said you were willing, willing to not study and go work, willing to give birth to two children." I looked at Mom ignorantly. She clenched her fists, face iron green. Just like when we just returned to the countryside, Mom took boxes of gifts out of the car. Auntie at the village entrance rolled eyes, smile hidden thorns: "Old Chen's girl is quite capable, cheated of body and money by a man, now still magnificent." Mom's back she tried to keep straight still bent down. She fled awkwardly under their teasing gazes. "I know you regret it, you hate him, but the child is innocent." Grandma coughed twice violently, eyes full of heavy grief. "If you don't like Luna, then leave her with me, no need to torture the child." "How do I not like her!" My mom couldn't suppress emotions anymore, eyes staring round. Screamed, "What Sunny has, what does she not have?" "What does she have to be aggrieved about, even learned to steal sister's things." "I found out before, every time distributing things, her eyes always stare at sister's, greedy enough." Mom seemed to grab my braid, scolding mercilessly. "Really an ungrateful wolf, same disgusting look as her dad." "She is still a child!" Grandma slapped the bedside table hard. "Don't think I don't know, you buy Sunny brand name goods worth thousands, buy Luna broken clothes worth dozens." "The inside of her padded jacket had a big hole, pasted with transparent tape." Grandma's voice choked, as if couldn't bear it. "I wanted to mend it for the child, result cotton taken out inside, all smelly black broken feather pieces." I froze. So clothes always breaking, not because I was careless, not cherishing. Clothes itchy, smelly, not because I was unhygienic. I secretly touched Sunny's down jacket. Light and soft, like clouds. Identical appearance things, turned out to be really different. Not my illusion, not my bad luck. Even less Mom being careless. Chapter 3 Mom didn't want to talk more with Grandma, turned and left directly. She went downstairs to lock the door, as if finally remembering I was still outside not back. Called impatiently towards the yard: "Gu Niannian, not rolling back yet?" Sunny leaned over curiously, pouting: "Is sister angry? Didn't let her light fireworks, even bigger fireworks." "Let her make a scene, don't come back." Mom mocked lightly, locked the door neatly. "Isn't there a doghouse in the yard, she is deadly shrewd, can't die outside." "Let's go Sunny, we go up to sleep, ignore her." She hugged Sunny to bed. I also secretly floated to Mom's side. Mom flipping fairy tale book, telling story to Sunny. Warm dim light at bedside plated on her face, making her eyebrows and eyes soft as water. I felt a bit unfair. Why can Sunny lie on Mom's chest listening to stories. And I can only nest in the utility room, sleeping on a small bed made of iron frames. In winter, have to rely on hugging dolls, curling into a ball to keep warm to fall asleep. Now I understand. Mom just doesn't like me. Fairness, just for show, for me to see, for others to see. Facing Sunny, she has her own standards and privileges for Sunny. But I still stuck to Mom's back. Almost greedily feeling Mom's temperature. Mom's bed so soft, Mom smells so good... Clearly I am already a soul. Why still tears flowing out of eyes. Next morning, Mom prepared breakfast calling Sunny to eat. "Where is Luna? Not up yet?" Grandma propped herself up walking out of room, tone a bit anxious. "Mom you don't lie down well, get out of bed for what?" Mom seemed to just remember my existence. Froze, brows dyed with familiar impatience again. "Where can she go, hiding in corner sulking." "She steals things and still reasonable, seems I was too good to her usually." Grandma's figure trembled: "Early morning, where can Luna go..." "Not in room either, the bed I made for her is still clean." Grandma muttered to herself. Raising eyes suddenly sensed a trace of unnaturalness in Mom. She tapped cane, face extremely ugly: "Scarlett, tell truth, where is the child? "Did she... come back last night..." Grandma asked the second half carefully. Mom looked away guiltily, saying rather carelessly: "How do I know, she's in elementary school, not a small child anymore." Chapter 4 Grandma was choked with anger. Breathing rapidly, clutching chest panting violently. Mom just said two words to make up, Sunny's cry cut in. "No! This doll is not mine!" Sunny rummaging through her suitcase. Holding a Disney rabbit crying. "Look its face is crooked, fur messy too, simply a fake." "Must be sister swapped it." She red-eyed, crying to Mom. Doll in hand fabric greyish, face crooked mouth slanted, threads opening. Sunny threw on ground with disgust. I waved hand wanting to say no, it was Sunny took wrong when packing. But Mom kicked away the doll, hurriedly squatting to wipe Sunny's tears. Look, they can totally distinguish, my things and Sunny's. That doll, was when we went to Disney, Sunny clamored to buy. Price tag 499. When Mom paid, didn't blink an eye. Until seeing me holding the corner of her clothes. Mom smiled weirdly, said to me: "Sorry Luna, Mom didn't bring enough money today, buy you same online in a few days okay?" My eyes burst with light immediately. Crisply shouting "Okay". For many years, I foolishly guarded Mom's so-called "Fairness" smiling satisfied. "Mom you saw, Gu Niannian same disgusting look as her dad." "Did I wrong her saying she steals?" Mom gritted teeth cursing, looking at other dirty dolls in suitcase, face darker: "How come these all dirty, is it Gu Niannian doing it too." Sunny froze, nodded immediately. Actually dolls were dirtied by Sunny. Not first time she framed me, whenever she made mistake, would shout it was me. Mom wouldn't care about my explanation. She only saw Sunny's tears. "Cheap thing, she is just jealous of Sunny, I treat her so well, still not satisfied?" "Why gave birth to one more back then, giving birth to this disaster thing too." Mom scolded harshly. Grandma heard pupils dilated, chest heaving violently. As if unbelievable, such ugly words came from a mother's mouth. "Good good good, you don't want Luna, I want." Grandma walked towards door trembling with cane. Mom frowned wanting to stop, but Sunny cried "Wah", tripping Mom's steps again. "Alright alright, Mom buy you a few more okay." "Anyway your sister isn't here, buy as many as you want." Mom comforted Sunny gently. This warm scene, I didn't want to watch anymore. I followed Grandma to the yard. Wind big outside, blowing Grandma's thin body swaying more. "Luna, my good Luna—" She shouted my name, but except dog barking in yard, no other response. She stood blankly in yard, old eyes surfacing water light. "Mom, stop looking, let her make trouble, die outside if not wanting back—" Mom's scolding came from inside. Before I was locked in storage room by sister several times, Mom only thought I was throwing tantrum. "Must have done bad thing dare not come out." Mom always speculated me with greatest malice. But now Grandma, was sad for me: "This child, must have suffered how much grievance..." Ignoring Mom's obstruction, insisted walking out of yard alone. Ground frosted, Grandma stumbled every step, but dared not slow down. "Luna, Luna where are you, come to Grandma quick—" She shouted tirelessly, voice choking, "Don't be afraid child, Grandma protects you." I floated in air, anxious and panicked. Watching helplessly as Grandma walked towards the empty ground where I set off fireworks. Suddenly, she screamed, collapsed on ground. In front, clearly my unrecognizable corpse.
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