The Dream He Had of Her

The day before my boyfriend, Ethan, and I were supposed to get engaged, we were having lunch. He suddenly said, "I had a dream about Sarah last night." "She was gorgeous. Pale skin, long legs, and her voice was so soft." He laughed it off immediately. "Just kidding, babe. Don't take it seriously." I didn't think much of it until I saw the chat history between Ethan and Sarah. They worked together on the Student Council. They shared the mundane details of their days. They talked about their dreams over drinks at the local dive bar. Later, I got into Columbia Law School. Ethan got rejected everywhere. He cried, begging me to take him back. I just laughed coldly. "Go back to dreaming about her." Chapter 1 "I had a weird dream about Sarah from my department last night." "I have to admit, she’s got a great figure. And her legs... they’re flawless. No scars." I was eating lunch with Ethan in the campus dining hall when he dropped that comment out of nowhere. My hand, holding the fork, froze mid-air. I looked down at the jeans I wore from summer through fall. There is a long, jagged scar running down my calf. It happened when we were kids. Ethan fell off his bike in the alley behind our houses. I rushed to help him and scraped my leg against a rusty fence. Ten years have passed. The wound healed, but the scar remains—a shocking, ugly mark. Ethan quickly tried to backtrack. "I mean, Sarah is pretty, but you’re cuter. You have more... character." I kept my head down, saying nothing. My fingernails dug deep into my palms. Ethan never made jokes like that. What was wrong with him today? A woman's intuition is rarely wrong. I felt a knot tighten in my stomach. Ethan didn't notice my mood shift at all. He kept smiling, talking about our plans after graduation. He said after we finish our grad school applications and get engaged, we’d buy a condo. He said we’d decorate it in that Modern Farmhouse style I liked. It would have a big backyard. We could barbecue in the summer and watch the snow fall from the bay window in the winter. He even said if I didn't want kids, he would respect my decision 100%. Finally, realizing my hands were ice cold, Ethan stood up. "Babe, I'll go grab you a hot latte." "Wear an extra layer tomorrow, okay? It’s getting chilly." I watched his back as he walked away, my heart a mess of conflicting emotions. The truth is, Ethan treated me well. We were childhood sweethearts. Middle school, high school, college—our paths were identical. We’ve known each other for fifteen years. We’ve dated for four. We occupied the biggest chapters of each other's lives. He remembered my cycle. He remembered my food allergies. He loved surprising me. But that random comment he made just now... it made me panic. I couldn't tell if he was being honest or just making a stupid joke. In my confusion, I glanced at Ethan's phone, which he’d left on the table. The screen was still lit. It was open to a chat window. My heart dropped. The profile picture was a girl. A very pretty girl. The contact name was saved as "Sarah." Driven by a ghost, I reached out and started scrolling. The latest message was sent five minutes ago. Sarah: Ethan, what are you up to? Ethan: With the girlfriend. She wanted steak, so I'm playing the good boyfriend for our anniversary. Sarah: ... Ethan continued typing. Ethan: By the way, do you like steak? I can pack some for you. Sarah: It's fine. I'm not busy tonight. I can swing by and drop that thing off. My finger trembled as I scrolled. While Ethan was sitting across from me, playing the perfect partner, he was texting her. Just seconds before, he had tenderly asked what flavor latte I wanted. I bit my lip and scrolled back further. Three days ago. Ethan: Morning, Sarah. Sarah. I suddenly remembered a package I received a few days ago. The recipient's name was just "S." inside was a set of black lace lingerie. I was confused, but Ethan called me right away. He said his sister bought it. He used his sister's Amazon account to buy me gifts sometimes. She must have forgotten to switch the address. It was a funny mix-up. His tone was so sincere. I believed him. I even joked, "You should buy me a set next time." Time ticked by. My hands were shaking uncontrollably now. Three days ago. One week ago. One month ago. The chat history went back forever. I scrolled until my thumb hurt, but there was no end. Greetings, memes, life updates—they filled every hour of every day. He edited her essays. He brought her an umbrella when it rained. He fixed the leak in her dorm. She brought him lunch. She picked up his packages. She sewed a button on his shirt. A few months ago, my dad passed away. I knelt before my father’s casket, eyes swollen from crying. I told my dad that Ethan was good to me. That he was responsible and knew his boundaries. That he was a man worth trusting for a lifetime. My mom was happy with Ethan too. She said even though we weren't married, he ran around helping with the funeral like a true son-in-law. Everything was moving forward, steady and happy. So where did this rot come from? Just then, a steaming Hazelnut Latte was placed in front of me. Ethan was as gentle as ever. Half-sugar, extra hot, just how I like it for my cramps. "Chloe, I got it extra hot for you." Chapter 2 Before he returned, I had already locked the phone and put it back exactly where it was. The steam from the latte spiraled up into the air and vanished, just like my trust. Ethan has been in my life for as long as I can remember. The night of our high school graduation, he texted me to come out and watch the fireworks. I ran downstairs in my pajamas and bumped into him. His face was flushed red. Ethan asked me, "Will you be my girlfriend?" I asked him, "Why me?" He stuttered, "Because... because you're beautiful." I wasn't beautiful. High school was nothing but studying, dark circles, and rough skin. But in that moment, something possessed me, and I nodded. Ethan smiled like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Fireworks exploded the second I nodded, lighting up the dark sky. Because we grew up together, our college relationship was incredibly smooth. In four years, we never had a screaming match. We never even blushed with anger. I thought life would continue this way. Study, Grad School, Engagement, Family. But as senior year came to a close, the ground shifted. Ethan's "joke" and those chat logs became a thorn lodged in my heart. It made me question everything. He could celebrate our anniversary while texting another girl with complete composure. Did he change? Or was he just an Oscar-worthy actor this whole time? Ethan didn't notice my silence. He kept chatting about the engagement. "After the LSATs in December, let's have the engagement party." "My parents are already prepping. They love you so much." I quietly pulled my hand out of his. It felt like a thousand tiny needles were pricking my heart. Ethan finally sensed something was off. "Chloe? What's wrong?" Yeah, what was wrong? We’ve loved each other for years. We grew up together. We were about to get engaged. Everyone was happy. Everything was perfect. So why did it feel like the world was ending? I looked up, tears blurring my vision. Ethan panicked instantly. "Chloe, why are you crying?" "Was the steak bad? We can go somewhere else tomorrow..." Looking at his concerned face—the same face I’ve loved for years—I felt a wave of nausea. The more he cared, the more I suffered. It felt like everything I owned was a hologram. After a long silence, I nodded slightly. "Let's... let's talk about the engagement later." Chapter 3 Ethan didn't understand why I was suddenly moody, but he patiently walked me home. As I walked up the stairs to my apartment, his texts came in. Ethan: The stairwell is dark, use your flashlight. Ethan: Also, throw out that yogurt in the fridge if it's expired. I'll buy you fresh ones tomorrow. Ethan: Maybe engaging right after the exams is too rushed. We can take it slow. No pressure. I cleared the notifications. I bit my lip and didn't reply. The moment I unlocked my door, the calmness I forced myself to maintain shattered. I collapsed, sobbing until I couldn't breathe. When I was too tired to cry, I opened my phone. I looked at the screenshots I had secretly airdropped to myself during lunch. Maybe I was still delusional. I wanted to prove that a fifteen-year bond couldn't just dissolve like smoke. But the more I looked, the colder I felt. One week ago, Ethan sent Sarah a song. Sarah replied with a cute sticker. I checked the timestamp: 5:23 PM. At that exact moment, Ethan was with me at Barnes & Noble, buying my LSAT prep books. Two weeks ago, Sarah complained about cramps. Ethan replied: Leave it to me. At that time, we were on a FaceTime call. Two months ago, Sarah said she was feeling down. Ethan replied: I'll wrap this up and come have a drink with you. I looked at the date. September 11th. I took a sharp breath. The pain was physical. September 11th was the day my dad died of liver cancer. It was the day of his funeral. Ethan looked so sad that day. So heartbroken. He held me tight and whispered, "Chloe, don't be scared. I'll always be with you." I looked into his sincere eyes and truly believed he was my salvation in a dark world. But three minutes after comforting me, he effortlessly switched off his grief to text another girl. The betrayal wrapped around me like vines, suffocating me. It wasn't just these three moments. It was everything. Ethan’s life wasn't just about me. His timeline was cluttered with Sarah's shadow. I called my mom, my hands shaking. "Mom, I'm going to break up with Ethan." I told her everything. But my mom was silent for a long time. Then she said: "Honey... just tolerate it." I felt like I was drowning. I screamed into the phone. "Mom! I dated him for four years! He’s been talking to her for four years!" My mom sighed. "But Chloe, they’re just chatting. They didn't go to a hotel." "Maybe they are just friends. Don't overthink it." "Besides, you don't have proof of actual cheating, do you?" I froze. Then I laughed. Right. Ethan and Sarah are just "soulmates." Strictly speaking, he didn't cheat physically. To an outsider, I was the one making a scene over nothing. "Ethan is practically a son to me," my mom continued. "He's a good kid." "Listen to me. Forgive him this once." "Relationships have bumps. You two are about to get engaged. His parents love you. Is it worth throwing it all away over this?" Click. I hung up. I slumped against the sofa, my head pounding, gasping for air. Even my own mother was telling me not to leave him. For a second, I doubted myself. Was I being petty? But every time I thought of our intimate moments, I saw her shadow. I saw his disloyalty. It felt like a ball of cotton was stuck in my throat. I couldn't spit it out, and I couldn't swallow it. Suddenly, my screen lit up. Ethan: Babe, I can't go to the library with you tomorrow. Something came up. Study hard for me! I laughed out loud, tears still streaming down my face. Tomorrow is Sarah's birthday. I saw it mentioned in a chat from a month ago. Ethan really is attentive. He remembers our anniversary, and he remembers her birthday. If he hadn't made that stupid joke, I never would have checked his phone. I never would have known that behind our perfect romance lay such a filthy truth. I stared at his text until the screen blurred. Finally, my finger hovered over the send button. Chloe: Let's break up. Chapter 4 After sending the text, I took a deep breath and blocked Ethan on everything. We never fought. Even our breakup was terrifyingly quiet. I remember the kiss he gave me under the fireworks. Pure. Shy. A feather-light touch on my cheek. He said he’d waited a long time for that. He said he’d never let go of my hand. His eyes were so bright. I believed him for so many years. On the sofa sat a blue plush bunny Ethan brought back from his study abroad trip. I suddenly remembered a text from Sarah. She asked him to bring her a bunny. She wanted pink. Ethan said yes. Shortly after that, he called me. Chloe, they were out of pink bunnies. Is blue okay? Actually, I prefer pink. But I smiled and said, "I love anything you get me." I didn't realize that even in gift-giving, Sarah came first. He didn't "fail" to get the pink one. The pink one just had a better owner. And that owner wasn't me. Sorrow hit me like a tidal wave. I can handle fights. I can handle disagreements. But I cannot handle being the second option disguised as the first. I started purging the apartment. I tore up photos. I threw away gifts. Until I saw the ring box on the corner of the table. I broke down wailing. I remembered what he said when he got down on one knee. "Chloe, I will only be good to you for the rest of my life." Promises are as fragile as glass. ... I cried until I passed out on the rug. The grief wrecked my stomach. I woke up the next morning and vomited bile. Bitter. Salty. Like my tears. I locked myself in the dark apartment. No water. No food. I just sat in the corner, replaying everything. The signs were there a year ago. The way he giggled at his phone. The new emojis he started using. That "wrong address" lingerie. But I was too confident in our history. I filtered out the red flags. When I looked at my phone again, I had dozens of missed calls from Ethan. I deleted them. I put on a coat and walked out. I needed air. I walked past the Student Union building. There was an "Honor Roll" board. I saw Ethan immediately. A group of girls was standing there, gossiping. "That's President Ethan. And that's Sarah, the VP." "They are so nice. They got sponsors for us in the rain, and they always buy us snacks." "Yeah, last week Ethan bought us those expensive Godiva chocolates." I froze. Godiva chocolates. That was the birthday gift I gave Ethan last week. He told me he loved them, so I saved up money from my tutoring gig to buy them. And he gave them away? To the club? My nails dug into my palms until they bled. One of the girls noticed me. "Hey, you look familiar... oh! You're the girl in President Ethan's cover photo!" Another girl leaned in, eyes sparkling. "You must be so happy being his girlfriend. He's so gentle and attentive. We're all so jealous." I gave a bitter laugh. Ethan was great. Everyone who met him praised him. That impeccable reputation is why no one believes he failed me. Even my mom sided with him. It wasn't winter yet, but I felt frozen to the bone. I nodded stiffly. "Thanks." I turned around, tears falling freely. Behind me, they kept talking about how great he was. I walked aimlessly down the path. Ding. Since I blocked him on WhatsApp, he sent an SMS. Ethan: Stop joking about breaking up. Ethan: It's getting cold today. Wear a jacket. If yesterday hadn't happened, I would have smiled and replied, You too. But time doesn't reverse. The balance and happiness Ethan carefully maintained collapsed the moment I saw those texts. Realizing the love around you was a mirage is a million times more painful than never being loved at all. I unblocked Ethan on WeChat. I posted a "Moments" update visible only to him. It was a stock photo of two hands holding tight. Caption: We finally made it official today. Minutes later, a message popped up. Ethan: Who did you make it official with? I'm your boyfriend! Ethan: Please. Don't leave me.

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