After thirty-five, my body changed. My skin grew dull, and fine lines appeared around my eyes. Halfway through our intimacy, Julian pinched the soft flesh on my stomach and suddenly said: "Actually, looking closely, you're pretty average. Why did I ever fall for you?" Chapter 1 I never expected to be laid off from my job as a "trophy mistress" at the age of thirty-five. At that moment, I was looking up at the intricate plaster relief on the ceiling. Rumor had it that it was the work of some European master. Very expensive. Every time Julian came to me, I would stare at it. In the beginning, Julian would grab my hair, forcing me to look him in the eye. He had beautiful eyes, like gemstones. Lazy, like an exotic cat. Julian was strong, so my scalp hurt. The scene looked full of tension, but the pillow was always covered in bloody strands of hair. Julian's lingering voice echoed in my ears like a demon: "Cora, why can't you only look at me?" Later, our relationship stabilized. At least, we didn't fight to the death before going to bed. Julian stopped demanding my constant gaze. He unlocked the chain on my wrist, but I no longer tried to run. Chapter 2 I panted slightly. My stamina couldn't keep up with Julian anymore. I withdrew my dull gaze from the ceiling, and what filled my eyes was Julian's incredibly fit body. He had gotten a tan; his bronze skin was sexy. A man over thirty could still have such a roguish expression. Forget me; even young girls would be swooning over him. In contrast, my thighs were covered in loose, flabby flesh. My silk nightgown had a hole in it, and I was too lazy to change. Julian threw on a robe and sat on the sofa. His features were hidden in the shadows, looking like a chiseled statue because of their sharpness. I pretended not to hear him. "I'll start dieting tomorrow." Julian laughed. "Baby, that's not what I mean." He flicked the ash from his cigarette, his tone carrying a casual cruelty. "I mean, you're not actually that great. I loved you too much, so I put a filter on you." "Now," Julian made an exploding gesture with his hand, "the filter is broken." He walked out mercilessly, speaking with a mix of disgust and relief: "Cora, you're free." It took me a long time to digest that sentence. My first reaction wasn't the ecstasy of regained freedom, but a deep-seated anger. The person who said he loved me the most, who said he wanted our ashes mixed together after death, was now breaking up with me. I felt sad, and then lost. I had been ruined by Julian. For ten years, I was fed and clothed without lifting a finger. No social life, no friends, I forgot how to use electronics. The TV in the room only played foreign channels and turned off automatically after 8 PM. My range of activity was limited to this villa and the half-mountain behind it—private property of the Vance family. I was completely Julian's possession. So I didn't know where to go. Chapter 3 I had noticed Julian's change of heart a long time ago. At first, he was clingy every day, calling me "Sister." Singing praises that I was his moon. From being in pain at the start, I slowly began to look forward to his arrival. Until he called me Sister, and I started responding. Julian wrapped me in a blanket and applied medicine to the wounds on my wrists. Blood stained his fingertips; Julian lowered his head to coax me, his eyes full of distress. "Sister, does it hurt? "You can hit me, but you must never hurt yourself." Julian was so gentle, his eyelashes trembling like butterfly wings. But later, he started coming once a month. Then, every three months, every six months. Until he kicked me out. After ten years as a canary, I was unemployed. Chapter 4 I actually had very few things. All my clothes were bought by Julian. He liked to dress me up. There were elaborate vintage gowns, and fresh, simple sundresses. I wore whatever Julian bought me. Later, when he stopped buying clothes, I just wore pajamas. Before leaving, I looked in the mirror. The woman inside was a bit fat, her skin oily, her hair messy and unkempt. No wonder Julian didn't like me. So what kind of me did he like? Chapter 5 I left the villa with a suitcase. Inside were my ID, passport, and a few business suits. I asked the butler, "Where should I go?" The butler sighed. "Go home." The sunlight was gentle, yet piercing. I walked sloppily on the street, many people casting strange looks at me. The mall in my memory was gone, replaced by unfamiliar high-rises. The city's busiest areas were filled with buildings I didn't recognize. Even the roads had widened to four lanes. I wanted to go back to the villa, to beg Julian to let me stay. I promised to be good and never make a fuss again. Passersby called the police for me. Using my ID, the police contacted my family. It was a very familiar voice. I subconsciously called out: "Simon!" There was the sound of something breaking on the other end, followed by his urgent voice. "Cora? Stay right there, don't move. I'm coming to get you now!" Simon was my boyfriend. I was absolutely sure. I blinked, and tears fell. Simon in front of me was blurred by tears. He squatted down, his hands trembling as he held mine. "Where have you been all these years? We all thought you died abroad." Simon wept uncontrollably. I looked up and asked tremblingly, "Where are Mom and Dad? Why didn't they come?" Simon gripped my hand, his tone heavy: "Let's go home." Chapter 6 It was Simon's home. But not mine. The hallway was piled with baby walkers. Before we even entered, I heard noise from inside. Shrill children's voices, and a woman's stern voice. "No, I said you have to finish your homework before you can have snacks!" Two children begged, "Please, Mommy, just one!" Simon's eyes were full of apology. He lowered his head, avoiding my gaze. I awkwardly turned my body, staring at the pile of stuff in the corner. Simon lived on the top floor. The small cubicle outside was a storage room, filled with clutter. From walkers to kites to a toy piano, everything screamed how happy this family was. A sour taste spread from my heart to my nose, forcing tears to my eyes. Before graduation, we had agreed to get married. Simon found shoe covers for me, opening the door as he said, "You can stay at my place for now." As soon as the door opened, twins rushed over, hugging Simon's legs. "Daddy, Daddy, where did you go? Mommy was waiting for you to eat!" The hostess also stepped forward impatiently. "Simon, leaving without a word after a call, do you have any respect for me?" She wanted to say more but stopped abruptly when she saw me. She murmured: "Cora!" I recognized her. She was Simon's junior, Chloe. Chloe's expression froze. She stepped aside, ordering the kids back to their seats, welcoming me with the posture of the mistress of the house. Chloe found a pair of slippers. "Simon, really, how could you let Cora wear shoe covers?" Chloe pulled me inside. "Dinner is ready. The mac and cheese is still warm." The atmosphere at the table was weird. Chloe didn't ask where I came from; she just said: "Cora, feel free to stay here. Don't worry about me." I paused while biting a chicken wing. Maybe Chloe noticed I had gained a lot of weight. I used to control my figure strictly, rarely eating carbs. I would even peel the skin off chicken wings. At class reunions, Simon did all this for me. I enjoyed his favoritism and the envy of others. Chloe was one of them. She always admired Simon, but he never responded. Until I went to the Congo for sampling, a terrorist attack happened, and I went missing. Simon spoke first. "These years, Chloe accompanied me through the darkest times. The police couldn't find you; everyone told me to let go. So later, Chloe and I got married." I froze. The chicken tasted bitter. I knew ten years was a long time. No one waits forever. Everyone moves forward. I was the only one trapped. Simon asked: "Where exactly have you been all these years?" I dared not say. I was terrified of Julian. During my confinement, I once used an antenna to contact Simon. Just a few busy signals, but enough for him to trace the villa. But Julian found out quickly. He tied my hands and forced me into the car. Simon was handing out flyers on the street. He had no idea the person he missed was sitting in the Land Rover by the road. Julian pried my eyes open, mocking: "This is a warning." A motorcycle sped by, knocking Simon over. He lay in a pool of blood, motionless, surrounded by scattered flyers. I screamed, wanting to save him. But Julian gripped my hand tight, the black glass reflecting only my panicked face. After that, I learned to behave. I never contacted Simon again. I knew if I leaked the secret of being imprisoned by Julian, he had countless ways to shut me up. So I shook my head. "I don't know." Simon said softly: "It's okay. Tell me when you want to." I dared not look at Simon's eyes. He had nothing to do with me now. I mechanically chewed the rice. Chloe suddenly burst into tears. I looked at her blankly. Big tears rolled down her face. She kept apologizing. "Cora, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken advantage of the situation to steal Simon. I'll give him back to you. Can you forgive me?" Chloe grabbed my hand tight. It hurt. I didn't know how to answer; my head was a mess. "Cora, I'm really, really sorry!" The tears were hot, falling on the scar on my wrist. Such a glaring scar, yet no one saw it. I remembered when I was with Simon, I got a tiny bruise on my finger. He would frantically look for ointment. But now, his eyes were only on Chloe. I knew clearly that the past was the past. "It's not your fault. Simon and I just weren't meant to be." Chloe looked up, wanting to say something, but Simon pulled her away. They had a fierce argument. The kids cried. The storm ended with Chloe slamming the door and leaving. Simon chased after her, telling me to stay put. I squatted to pick up toys. The twins pushed me hard. "Ugly woman, get out of my house! Mommy and Daddy fight because of you!" "Go away! We don't want to see you!" I lost my balance and fell. The twins kept pushing me. Their small fists landed on me, heavy with pain. Seeing me not moving, they cried louder. "Leave my house!" "I want Daddy and Mommy! I don't want them to fight!" Looking at the screaming twins, I seemed to see myself. My chaotic brain recalled distant scenes. Actually, my relationship with Julian was terrible. I never loved him. I just had no choice. At the beginning of my confinement, I fought and screamed like this. Julian slapped me hard. My ears rang. I retreated in fear. Held in his arms, I trembled as he apologized over and over. Later, because my resistance was too fierce... My wrists and ankles festered and healed under the friction of chains, forming thick scabs. Julian tried to brainwash me. If I tried to love him, it wouldn't hurt. But you can't love a beast in human clothing. To me, Julian was just a junior student. He was diligent under my supervision. Wealthy but humble. I only respected him for that. I took him to do experiments, collected samples in the mountains. I even praised his beautiful eyes. When our experiment succeeded and we were interviewed, Julian's eyes under the spotlight were obsessed and gentle. He said: "Congratulations, Senior. You will stand at the top of the scientific world." He lowered his head, looking disappointed. "Will you remember me then?" I ruffled his hair. "Of course. Didn't we agree to solve the rejection reaction in xenotransplantation together?" I never thought I would end up so wretched. I hated that the moon hung high but didn't shine on me alone. So the moon fell into the mud. And became no longer the moon you wanted. Julian fed me drugs. Drugs that stabilized emotions but dulled the brain. Over time, cognitive confusion and memory loss followed. I became obedient, as he wished. Chapter 7 Ten years changed everything. No one waits in place. I didn't blame Simon, nor would I destroy his family. We just lacked a bit of fate. "Just a little bit" is such a cruel phrase. I wished this was a dream. When I woke up, Mom and Dad would be by my bed. They would ask if I had a nightmare. Simon would still be twenty-six, with a bright future, not ruined by a car accident. I would still be the professor's favorite student, moving toward my goals. But when I opened my eyes, the twins were still crying. The food was cold. Everything was cold and suffocating. I struggled to get up, wiped my tears, and left. Although I only remembered a little, luckily, I remembered where home was. I stumbled, hoping everything would be fine once I got home. But when I arrived, there was no warmth. I knocked for a long time, but no one answered. Dust covered the doormat. The sensor light in the hallway flickered. I kept banging on the iron door. "Mom, open the door. I'm back." "Dad, I'm back. I forgot my keys. Can you open the door?" I pretended to text them. Tears fell on my hands. "Mom, are you shopping? Come back, I can't get in." "Dad, are you fishing? Come back and open the door." The noise disturbed the neighbor. A woman came out scolding. "Quiet down! The old couple next door passed away last year." Seeing me, she thought I was crazy. "Who are you? Leave or I'll call the police!" I finally cried out loud: "I am their daughter!" Just a little bit. I almost made it home.
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