Before the SATs, my childhood friend, Alex, was having a mental breakdown. He kept talking about jumping off the roof. I tutored him day and night, cheering him on, until my own class rank dropped by over a hundred spots. But one day, I went back to the classroom to grab some forgotten notes. I saw Alex, the guy who supposedly couldn't even solve the first multiple-choice question on a practice test, effortlessly solve the final, hardest calculus problem in ten minutes. He slid his work over to the housekeeper's daughter: "See? It's simple. And Sarah's rank has already dropped. You don't need to feel inferior anymore." 1 I stood at the back door of the classroom, staring blankly as Alex held a pen, solving the final calculus problem in under ten minutes. He slid the paper over to the housekeeper's daughter, Lily. His tone, usually irritable these days, was calm and gentle: "See? It's simple. And Sarah's rank has already dropped. You don't need to feel inferior anymore." I walked slowly towards them, step by step. The steps on the paper were clear and logical, the handwriting steady. It didn't look like something written by someone on the verge of a breakdown. Yet, just this afternoon, Alex had cried to me about the immense pressure he was under, about not knowing what to do as his grades slipped. I heard my own voice trembling: "Alex..." Lily turned first. Her almond eyes widened when she saw me, and she hurriedly tried to distance herself from Alex: "Uh, Sarah... it's so late... what are you doing here?" She wrung her hands nervously. Alex, however, only paused for a second before reaching out and pulling Lily back close to him: "Don't be afraid. She won't dare bully you." I clenched my fists, pointing at the solution on the paper: "What is this?" He sighed. "Since you already know, I won't hide it from you." I looked at him, waiting for a reasonable explanation. But his words stopped my breath: "Sarah, you're too strong. You're putting too much pressure on Lily." "So you faked test anxiety? Faked suicidal tendencies? Tricked me into using my study time to watch over you, to tutor you? You watched me act like a clown while waiting for my grades to plummet, is that it?!" Alex sighed again. "Sarah, Lily is a scholarship student. Don't be a bully." "Is getting good grades bullying her?!" I stepped forward, but someone grabbed me in a hug: "Sarah!" Lily was crying: "Don't hit Alex! It's my fault. My mental state was bad. Seeing you so successful gave me too much pressure... "Alex did this for me! If you want to hit someone, hit me!" She grabbed my hand and tried to slap her own face with it. "Enough!" Alex pushed me away. "If you have a problem, come at me. What kind of person bullies her?" Slap! I slapped him hard across the face. Alex stood there, stunned. I gritted my teeth, tears streaming down my face: "I just wanted to help you... and you used me like this..." He looked at my tears, froze, and suddenly panicked: "Uh, no, I just... I didn't think this would hurt you so much..." "Get out!" I slapped his reaching hand away and stepped back. "I don't know you anymore!" 2 I ran back to the dorms, crying. Tomorrow was a holiday, and I was the only one in the dorm who had applied to stay on campus. In the empty room, I hugged a boxed fountain pen and cried until I couldn't breathe. It was the last gift my brother left me. "Brother... I miss you so much..." Two years ago, my brother also walked to the roof because his grades suddenly dropped before the SATs. I came out of evening study hall to hear the commotion, people saying someone had jumped. The last thing I saw was my brother's bloodied face being covered by a white sheet. All he left me was a fountain pen and a diary. And I lost the diary the very next day. I was depressed for two months. Those two months, Alex was the one who walked with me through it. He knew my mental state best during that time. He was terrified I'd walk into traffic, following me to and from school every day. But ever since Lily transferred to our school, he changed. He knew how deep that trauma scarred me, yet he chose the most hurtful way to deceive me! He knew I wouldn't refuse. Even though helping him made my rank drop by over a hundred spots, I didn't give up. Because I was so afraid he would become the next victim, just like my brother. Turns out, it was all to make Lily feel better. And I had been worried sick about him every day. I wiped my tears, took out my prep books, and started grinding problems like crazy. He wanted my grades to drop so Lily wouldn't feel inferior? I'm going to make sure Lily can never catch up to me! 3 The mock exam results came out quickly. Everyone gasped as soon as they saw the rankings: "Whoa! Sarah is back!" "Damn! Sarah is number one! Didn't she drop to like 200 last time?" "How come I don't see Lily's name this time? She used to be number one." "Can you guys shut up?!" Someone yelled. Everyone turned to see Lily lying on her desk, sobbing uncontrollably. A group of her friends surrounded her, comforting her: "It's okay, it's normal to have a bad test. Who gets first place every time?" "Don't be sad. That Sarah girl dropped to 200, and now suddenly she's first? Who believes that? She probably cheated." "Exactly. Everyone knows her grades were trash lately." Lily sobbed: "Don't say that... Sarah wouldn't do that." "Lily, you're too kind!" Someone shouted angrily: "She bullies you because your mom is her housekeeper, and you still defend her!" Some classmates were confused: "What housekeeper?" The friends got excited: "You guys don't know? Lily's mom is a maid at Sarah's house. Sarah bullies her every day, even forbidding Lily to score higher than her, or she'll dock her mom's wages!" The girl patted Lily's head as she spoke: "She only tells us about these grievances. "Lily wanted to try her real level before the SATs, so she tried hard a few times. Sarah scolded her mom immediately. "Lily had no choice but to tutor Sarah, pushing her to first place while wasting her own time. That's why she failed this time." The classmates realized: "So Sarah's good grades were all because Lily helped her!" "Yeah, the times Lily tried for herself and didn't tutor Sarah, those trash grades were Sarah's real level!" Bang! I kicked the door open. The chatter in the classroom vanished instantly. 4 Lily's eyes widened: "Sarah..." Slap! I slammed a stack of scratch paper onto the desk, looking down at her: "Done acting? Hmm?" She blinked. I threw the papers into the air. Sheets fluttered down like snow, covered in solutions to various problems. On every sheet, there were two distinct handwritings. One guiding, one solving. Someone recognized it: "This... isn't this Lily and Alex's handwriting?" "Wait, so Alex was tutoring Lily?" "Damn, Alex is this good? Then why did he tank the last few exams?" "They said it was test anxiety." ... I sneered, looking at Alex in the corner of the classroom: "Yeah, Alex. Did it feel good faking anxiety? Did it feel good tricking me into tutoring you, wasting my own study time?!" The classmates paused, looking at Alex: "Faked?" "Whoa, look at these steps, look at this handwriting. Does this look like someone with test anxiety?" "Oh~ Alex played us? How much did Lily pay you to sabotage your childhood friend?" "Maybe he wasn't paid with money..." Meaningful laughter rippled through the room. "You... you guys are talking nonsense!" Alex slammed his desk and stood up. Lily just cried harder. I scoffed: "If I'm an eyesore, then get your grades up and beat me! "If you beat me fair and square, I'll respect it. But this? This is disgusting!" Finally, I bent down to look Lily in the eye: "The pressure I give you will continue. If you don't like me, get your skills up." I turned and walked out, slamming the door behind me.
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