Ethan used to be straight, but when I caught him cheating, he justified it righteously: "I've sacrificed so much for you. It was just one drunken mistake, can't you let it go?" I said calmly, "Since you think it's no big deal, then I'll find someone to have a 'drunken mistake' with too, and we'll call it even, okay?" He sneered and said, "Sure." That night, Ethan called me all night long. I didn't answer, so he sent message after message: [Sean, what do you mean? You really went out to find someone, didn't you?] [Forget it, I know you wouldn't.] [I was wrong first this time. Can I apologize?] He didn't know that minutes before I saw these messages, I had just been pinned down by his cold, noble brother, his hand gripping my ankle as he kissed me fiercely. Chapter 1 Waking up in the morning, I stared at the handsome face sleeping next to me, my mind blank for ten seconds. Ten seconds later, I sat up abruptly. The blanket slipped from my chest, revealing marks all over my body. My mind went blank for another ten seconds. Calm down, calm down. Let me think... Last night, I had a fight with Ethan. The reason was that I returned from a business trip and found a pair of stockings in the sofa crevice. At first, Ethan denied it to death, saying it must have been left by a drunk female friend when he had friends over. He seemed to think I was an idiot. I was calm to the point of numbness, hearing myself ask him in a flat voice who was there that day, insisting on calling them one by one to verify. In the end, I pushed him until he exploded, shouting, "So I wasn't gay before! My body just responds easier to women, what can I do?" Silence fell, deafening. I stared at Ethan expressionlessly. "Did I force you? From beginning to end, did I force you to be with me?" A trace of regret flashed across Ethan's face. But when he spoke again, he was still self-righteous: "I've sacrificed so much for you, Sean. It was just one drunken mistake, can't you just let it go?" "Sacrifice." That word sounded familiar. Not long ago, Ethan had acute gastroenteritis, vomiting and diarrhea with a high fever, and was hospitalized. I was tied up with work and arrived a bit late. I walked in to hear Mia, inside the ward, complaining on his behalf: "How can Sean treat you like this? You're so sick, and he just ignores you." "Work? What work is more important than you?" "You didn't even like men before. He turned you. Being together, how much pressure have you borne?" "You've made such a huge sacrifice for him. If he really cared about you, he should think about giving unconditionally to you." "You said you pursued him, but why did you have to beg him to be good to you..." I thought Ethan should have said something for me at that moment, but he remained silent. Mia continued: "Ethan, with your conditions, what kind of excellent woman couldn't you find? Why waste time with a man? Can he give you a complete family?" "Besides, my dad hates gays the most. He says people like that are perverts. If he finds out..." Mia was the daughter of Ethan's boss. Anyone could see she had a crush on Ethan. Ethan wasn't stupid; how could he not see it? But he wanted to please the boss, so he let her get close by any means necessary. Ethan wasn't thirty yet, but his family was pressuring him hard to get married, constantly arranging blind dates. Mia gave him an idea: find a fake girlfriend to fool his parents for now, buying time. As for the candidate for the fake girlfriend, she naturally recommended herself. By the time I found out, Ethan had already taken Mia to meet his parents once. I was very uncomfortable. I knew Ethan had always been filial. He didn't want to submit in his heart but couldn't fiercely resist his parents. This made the pressure to marry the biggest trouble in his life. But taking a fake girlfriend home... I thought he should have discussed it with me, his real boyfriend, beforehand. Yet Ethan hadn't mentioned a word. We had a big fight that time, ending with my compromise. Ethan kept coaxing me. First, he said he had no choice; his parents were pushing too hard. Second, he said Mia was the boss's daughter, and since everyone was so enthusiastic, he couldn't refuse. Third, he promised and swore it was absolutely just acting, with no boundary-crossing contact. Looking at him now, I really wanted to ask: And now? Is it still acting? How do they plan to act this out? How can they? I said, "That woman was Mia, right?" Ethan's face turned pale. His lips moved, and finally, lacking confidence, he said, "I was really too drunk that day... There's really nothing between us..." "Fine," I found myself surprisingly calm. "Since you think it's nothing, I'll go find someone for a 'drunken mistake' too, and we'll call it even, okay?" In an instant, Ethan looked like he was being choked, unable to speak or swallow. After a long while, he let out a cold laugh: "Sure, go find someone. Go find whoever you want tonight. Consider it what I owe you this time!" He obviously thought I said that just to spite him. I slammed the door and left. Chapter 2 After leaving home, I had nowhere to go, so I bought a six-pack of beer and drank by the river. The river wind was strong, blowing my small sadness into a balloon that filled my chest, causing a dull ache. Thinking about it, this was the seventh year I'd known Ethan. The year we graduated, we, two broke college grads, rented a place together in an old neighborhood where stomping in the hallway made paint peel off the walls. Just commuting took three hours a day. Every night after work, we were too tired to talk, sprawled on the sofa leaning on each other, playing music we both liked, spacing out, motionless for a long time. On nights with power outages in winter, with nothing to do, candlelight flickered in the room. Ethan would play the guitar and sing, laughing that he hadn't practiced in a long time. Yet, with lowered lashes and a strum of the strings, every finger seemed to pluck at my heart. I realized, unbeknownst to me, I had fallen for Ethan. I liked his handsomeness, his positivity, and the genuine support and companionship he gave me during those hard days. But at the same time, I knew very well that Ethan was straight. When we first met, he had just broken up with his girlfriend of several years. He was so heartbroken back then; I didn't know how many times I got drunk with him. So I never thought about confessing. Until one year, I met a man at a work event who pursued me crazily. I refused repeatedly, but he persisted. Once, when he came to block me at my home, he ran right into Ethan. I immediately decided to hold Ethan's hand, declaring I already had a boyfriend and asking him to stop pestering me. This, however, completely exposed the fact that I was gay to Ethan. From then on, Ethan's attitude toward me became ambiguous. I clearly felt the change. After thinking it over, I finally decided to make a move. Yes, I pursued him. I pursued him for a long time. Ethan hesitated, refused, but approached me again several times when I wanted to let go, starting a new round of push and pull. The process was agonizing. Luckily, in his words, he finally "couldn't help himself." Two years ago on New Year's Eve, on this very riverbank, the atmosphere was too good. When Ethan pulled up the wide hood of his jacket to block the wind for me, I summoned the courage to lean in and kiss him, and he didn't refuse. That's how we got together. However, perhaps that kiss that changed our relationship was too light. It wasn't earth-shattering enough, not thunderous enough, so it ultimately didn't give our relationship a solid foundation. I mechanically poured alcohol into my stomach. Drunk, I couldn't help but take out my phone and call Ethan. I cursed him uncontrollably: "You f*cking know to say you're not gay now. When you kissed me back then, why didn't you remember you were a straight man?" "Did I drug you or put a hex on you? Or did I tie you up and force myself on you? If your body prefers women, then get lost! Get lost! You're not the only man in the world!" "Drunken mistake, right? You think I'm scaring you? I'm f*cking going to find someone right now! I'm going right now—" "Sean?" A deep, pleasant male voice came through the receiver, interrupting me. "Are you drunk? Where are you? I'll come pick you up." Adrian. Ethan's cousin. They share a last name. My vision blurred, my hand shook, and I dialed the wrong number. The result of the wrong number was waking up with him lying on the pillow next to me. My insides churned. Looking at him, fragments of last night flashed through my mind. Adrian helped me through the door. I stumbled, dragging him down onto the sofa. I scrambled up, straddled him, cupped his face, and said, "Handsome, you look a bit familiar." Adrian smiled, a very good-looking smile. "Do I? I'm your boyfriend's cousin." I thought for a moment, lowered my head, and whispered in his ear, "Then do you want to have an affair with your cousin's boyfriend?" Adrian raised an eyebrow. "Looking for a 'drunken mistake' with me?" I asked, "Can I?" Adrian said seriously, "Doesn't seem very appropriate." Disappointed, I tried to climb off him, but he grabbed my waist. "Giving up so soon? Not going to try a little harder?" ... Chapter 3 "Morning." Soon Adrian woke up too, bidding me good morning as if nothing happened. I saw the mark on his shoulder and neck, clearly a bite. I remembered burying my face in the pillow the night before, sobbing and begging him to be gentle. Later, he turned me over to face him, and I bit his shoulder hard in retaliation, drawing blood on the spot. I was a bit embarrassed, especially since the previous night was too intense, making the current awkwardness even more awkward. "You okay?" Adrian spoke first. I mumbled a vague "Mmh." Adrian asked, "Want a shower?" After hesitating, I nodded. Who knew when I lifted the quilt to get out of bed, my legs went soft, and I almost knelt. My face burned instantly. Seems it was my first time tasting the consequences of such indulgence... Suddenly, my body was lifted into the air. Adrian had come to my side at some point and picked me up bridal style. "What are you doing?" I opened my eyes wide. "Taking you to shower, aren't I?" Adrian said, gently kicking open the bathroom door. How should I put it? I wasn't exactly close to Adrian, but not strangers either. Because of Ethan, we had some contact. Also, Adrian had introduced a big client to my design studio. It was a top luxury villa design and renovation project. The client had ample budget, allowing me to really show my skills. Not only did I make a significant profit, but I also expanded my network with high-quality contacts. Although when I returned the favor, treated him to dinner, and expressed gratitude repeatedly, Adrian always maintained that he only acted as a bridge: "My friend is very picky. He looked at proposals from many designers. Choosing yours had nothing to do with me; your design simply moved him." Regardless, his favor was a very significant stroke in my life. I also heard Ethan talk about him. Ethan's feelings for this cousin, who was a few years older, were complex. If I had to say, probably a mix of admiration and jealousy. I could understand. Adrian was simply too outstanding. He attended a top world university, joined an overseas branch of a listed group after graduation, and was promoted rapidly due to his outstanding ability. Over two years ago, he was transferred back to the group headquarters. This year, he was appointed CEO of the group's core business company. In his early thirties, sitting in this position, it was hard not to attract attention. Ethan said more than once that Adrian was very arrogant, as if he looked down on ordinary beings. I didn't feel this strongly. My understanding of Adrian was shallow. My most prominent impression was that this was a man with excessively handsome features and an excessively cold temperament. But after last night, my view of him changed slightly. ...At least in bed, he was quite intense. After showering, I wrapped a towel around my waist and sat back on the bed. My phone had died at some point. I pressed the power button for ages, no reaction. Seeing a charger plugged in on the other side of the bed, I crawled over to plug in my phone. In the process, the towel came loose. I quickly tried to get up and retie it. Just then, Adrian walked out of the bathroom. Seeing me on all fours on the bed, he walked over, tossed the towel aside, grabbed my ankle, and dragged me toward him. I reflexively kicked him twice. He pressed down on me from behind, kissing the back of my neck. His fingers slid down my spine. Water droplets from his hair fell onto my back one after another, tickling. I laughed and twisted my body. He flipped me over in one go and kissed my lips fervently. His shirt wasn't buttoned yet, open wide. His bare chest pressed against mine; I could feel the intense beating of his heart. Tsk, looking so frigid, yet so easily excited? I dodged his kiss with some difficulty, "Mr.... mmn... Mr. Thorne..." "Still calling me Mr. Thorne?" Adrian paused. "Didn't I teach you last night?" His eyes were too beautiful, calm yet hiding danger, making my brain crash. I swallowed. "...Adrian." "Mmh." Adrian was satisfied and lowered his head to kiss me again. I quickly blocked him. "No more?" Adrian looked a bit regretful. "I thought you were kneeling there specifically to seduce me just now." I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Just as I was about to explain I was just plugging in my phone, my phone on the nightstand rang. It was Ethan. Chapter 4 In the end, I didn't answer Ethan's call. At this juncture, I didn't know what I had to say to him. But after hanging up, I found that Ethan had called me many times while my phone was off. The times were sporadic, lasting from early morning until just now, as if he hadn't slept all night. I admit, my heart clenched for a moment. A while later, Ethan sent a message: [Sean, what do you mean? You really went out to find someone, didn't you?] Before I could reply, another one followed: [Forget it, I know you wouldn't.] And another: [I was wrong first this time. Can I apologize? You know I can't stand the cold war the most. We're almost thirty, can we not do such childish things?] Ethan really changed, changed too much. He used to be a very sincere person. Now, for some reason, his words always revealed an inexplicable arrogance. Was it after he started accompanying leaders to various high-end places? Or after successive promotions, surrounded by people flattering him? I couldn't remember. I stared at the messages on the screen for a while. Breaking up was certain, but I really wasn't in the mood to deal with so many emotions right now. I could only find a time to talk face-to-face in a few days. So I replied: [Let's both calm down first.] I threw the phone aside and found Adrian looking at me with burning eyes. I joked, "What is it, Mr. Thorne? Do you need me to take responsibility for you?" "Wasn't that just now... never mind," Adrian hesitated, then seriously pondered for a moment, asking back, "Can you?" I didn't have a prepared answer for this, leaving me speechless. Adrian sat up from the bed, very disappointed. I watched him lower his head, slender fingers smoothing his lapels, buttoning his shirt one by one, then putting on trousers, rolling up cuffs, putting on a watch, tying a tie. Every movement was so pleasing to the eye. "So, until your next 'drunken mistake'?" Finally, he asked tentatively. I laughed out loud. "Sure, you wait then." ... A few days later, a client treated me to dinner at a high-end restaurant in the city. About to leave after eating, I met Ethan's mother in the hallway. She knew me. Back when I rented with Ethan, she came to visit him and always treated me as Ethan's good friend. She enthusiastically pulled me to sit in their private room. Once the door opened, Ethan's dad, Mia, and Adrian were all there. I learned it was Uncle's birthday today. Ethan took this opportunity to invite his parents from their hometown to visit for a few days. Adrian, the cousin, was free, so he politely accompanied them. I said some polite words like "Sorry, I didn't know beforehand, didn't prepare a gift," toasted Uncle, and sat in the empty seat next to Adrian. Sitting diagonally opposite were Ethan and Mia. Mia played the fake girlfriend very competently. Not only did she carefully select an expensive gift, but sitting next to Ethan, she also looked deeply in love with him. The sweet demeanor of wiping the corner of his mouth with a hot towel was so realistic I wanted to sneer. When Uncle and Auntie talked about marriage, Mia held Ethan's hand directly in front of me, fingers interlocked. It was undoubtedly a demonstration to me. Soon, Ethan broke free from Mia's hand. Meeting my gaze, he appeared uneasy and uncomfortable. I calmly lifted the wine glass in front of me and took a sip. Under the table, Adrian gently kicked me with the tip of his shoe, whispering in my ear, "What's there to look at over there? Look at me." I turned my head in confusion. A very good-looking, perfect face. So? My gaze swept down. A few seconds later, I realized. The tie he wore today was the one he used to bind my hands that night. In an instant, I felt my face "boom" with heat, my body temperature rising several degrees. Adrian chuckled low. I was slightly embarrassed and gently bumped his shoulder. Just then, I felt an intense gaze. Looking up, I found Ethan staring at me and Adrian, a few shallow creases between his brows. Uncle and Auntie were chatting enthusiastically with Mia. Adrian looked down at his phone, his other hand resting on the table, seemingly inadvertently lifting his pinky finger and hooking mine. Ethan stood up abruptly, the chair dragging on the floor with a harsh sound. "Sean, go out for a smoke?" His face didn't look good. Uncle and Auntie looked at us strangely. I didn't refuse, following Ethan out of the room to a small terrace. "What's going on with you and my cousin?" He asked me almost impatiently. "What?" "What did you say?" Ethan raised his voice. "Someone like Adrian who keeps a cold distance from everyone, how could he touch your hand for no reason? Don't tell me it was an accident!" "Then go ask him." I had no obligation to explain this to him. I tried to leave. Ethan pulled me back. He was about to speak when suddenly, his gaze fixed on my neck, and his face changed. Seeing the hickey hidden under the collar that hadn't faded yet, he pounced on me like a madman, trying to pull my collar down. "What is this?!" "Drunken mistake," I quickly smoothed my collar. "Isn't this the 'even' you agreed to?" Ethan looked at me in disbelief, his eyes suddenly red from the wind.
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