Later, he stood in the rain all night, begging for my forgiveness. "Maya, as long as you forgive me, I'll do anything. I swear." I packed up every gift he had ever given me into trash bags and tossed them into the dumpster right in front of him. "Then go redeem yourself in hell. How about that?" 1 It was the third year of our long-distance relationship, winter break. I was back home, FaceTiming Liam. "What time is your flight tomorrow?" I asked, checking the schedule. "I’ll drive over to pick you up at ten. That should be enough time, right?" Through the phone screen, Liam’s smile was playful and gentle. "No rush, babe. You can sleep in a bit longer." I blushed slightly. "I just want to see you sooner." Junior year had been brutal academically; the last time we saw each other was over the Thanksgiving break. "Me too." Liam paused for a second, then suddenly added, "Hey, I might bring a friend back to crash for a few days this time. She’s from the West Coast, never really seen real snow before. She’s curious." I sharply noticed the slightly intimate tone he used when mentioning this person. So, I asked, "Guy or girl?" "A sophomore. She joined the photography club, and we’ve been on a few shoots together." His attitude was open and natural, so I didn't think much of it at first. The next day, when I went to pick him up at the airport, I met this "sophomore" Liam mentioned. Her name was Emily. She was pretty, with a delicate frame and refined features, but her personality was surprisingly loud. As soon as we met, she threw her arm around my shoulder, turning to ask Liam: "Liam, bro, what do I call your girlfriend? Do I have to call her 'The Missus'?" Uncomfortable with such immediate intimacy from a stranger, I frowned slightly and looked at Liam. He noticed my discomfort right away and swatted Emily's hand off my shoulder. "Knock it off. My girlfriend isn't into that. She’s the same year as me, just call her Maya." Emily clutched the back of her hand, seeming stunned for two seconds, then obediently called out, "Maya." On the drive back, Liam asked me, "How’s Mochi doing?" "Got fat again. My mom said I need to play with him more and cut down on the wet food." Liam leaned back against the seat, laughing. "He just has no limits when it comes to eating. I’ll see him in a bit. Haven't seen him all semester, wonder if Mochi still recognizes me." Just as I was about to reply, Emily suddenly interjected from the back seat: "Liam, who's Mochi?" "A cat we found together back in middle school. He’s always lived at Maya's house." Before leaving, I had specially placed a bottle of his favorite craft soda in the center console cup holder. He took a sip and placed it back into the side door pocket. Yet, not long after, Emily naturally reached over, grabbed that same bottle, twisted it open, and took several large gulps. I saw this happen in the rearview mirror. My hands instinctively tightened on the steering wheel. "Oops, grabbed it out of habit. My dad always puts his water there." Liam chuckled, not touching the bottle again. "Don't go mistaking me for your dad now." While stopped at a red light, I turned to glare at him. Liam reached over, covering my hand on the steering wheel, and whispered: "Haven't seen you in months, why are you glaring at me already?" The slight irritation I felt vanished at his touch. I shook my head gently and said, "My mom went out early to buy ingredients for her pot roast. She says you definitely miss her cooking. She’s never made this much of a fuss even when I come home." "Oh—" Liam dragged out the syllable. "So, is my little May jealous? Think your mom likes me better?" "Liam!" "Okay, okay." He rubbed the top of my head like he was petting a cat. "My mom prefers you too, always has. Every time you come over, she cooks a feast with zero spice. I have to get my own hot sauce just to eat." I admit, bringing up the past with Liam always carried a bit of intentionality. Maybe it was intuition, but from the very first glance, I didn't really like Emily. Obviously, Liam sensed this too. When we parked, he took advantage of Emily getting out of the car to lean into my ear. "Upset? Don't worry, she's just a regular friend. Absolutely nothing will shake my May's supreme position in my heart." After we got out of the car, Emily suddenly smiled and said, "You two have such a great relationship." "Jealous?" Liam looked back at her. "If you're jealous, go find your own boyfriend." "I wouldn't dare. Too many toxic guys out there, I'm afraid I can't spot the red flags. But... if it were someone like you, Liam, I totally would!" Liam raised an eyebrow. "Bring any prospects around, I'll vet them for you." The hotel Emily booked wasn't far from our neighborhood. After parting ways, I pursed my lips and walked ahead. Liam caught up and grabbed my wrist, making a pitiful face: "Did your loyal subject upset the Princess again? We agreed on a big hug when we met, haven't had that hug today." I stopped and turned to look at him. "Wasn't that because I was afraid hugging would trigger your little friend?" Before I finished speaking, Liam grabbed my waist and pulled me into his arms. "Forget her." He buried his face in the crook of my neck, whispering, "Three months apart. I missed kissing you so much." 2 Liam and I had spent our lives together since we were very small. From elementary school through high school, we even walked the same route to and from school. After high school graduation, under the campus bleachers, Liam confessed his feelings to me. Everything felt natural, like water flowing into a canal. But when college acceptance letters came, due to a twist of fate, we were admitted to different schools. I stayed In-State, and he went a thousand miles away to the East Coast. At first, I didn't think long-distance mattered. We had over a decade of emotional foundation and shared memories. Even if we weren't together day and night, we had endless things to talk about. When classes weren't busy, Liam would fly back to see me, stay for three or five days, and then go back. The slight strangeness generated by the distance would vanish the instant we met. I brought Liam back home and opened the door. Mochi ran over, but stopped a few feet away, curled into a ball, looking at us somewhat bewilderedly. Liam dropped his suitcase and squatted down. "What, don't recognize me after three months?" I picked up a treat stick from the table and handed it to him. Mochi slowly nudged over to eat it, then rubbed affectionately around his ankles. After lunch, Liam and I helped my mom wash the dishes, then went into my room one after the other. As soon as I closed the door, he grabbed my wrist and pinned me against the door panel. "Lock it, May." The next second, a searing kiss landed on my lips. I closed my eyes to fully immerse myself, but a knock came from outside: "Maya, Liam, come out and have some fruit." I nearly jumped out of my skin, but the amusement in Liam’s eyes just grew stronger. He called out, "Okay, Mom, we'll be right out." Then he opened his suitcase to rummage for the gifts he brought me. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I sharply spotted a strange pink bag in the corner of his suitcase. Just as I picked it up, Liam snatched it back. "Don't touch that, that's Emily's camera." I was stunned. "Why is her camera in your suitcase?" "Oh, her bag is small, couldn't fit everything, so she stuffed it in mine. I'll take it to her tomorrow." Liam answered nonchalantly, then showed me the gifts he prepared. It was an incredibly soft cashmere scarf, and the newest model iPad. "Didn't you say you needed it for grad school prep? Use it for your online courses." Holding the tablet, I couldn't tell if I felt happy or confused. Liam's house was in the complex across the street. His parents were still away and hadn't returned, so he ate dinner at my place before going back. When he left, it was snowing outside. Liam wouldn't let me walk him out. "It's snowing, too cold. Go back inside." I stood at the apartment entrance, grabbing the corner of his jacket, whispering, "No one's at your place anyway, why not just stay here tonight?" After a moment of silence, Liam shook his head. "It's fine. Been a while since I've been back, I need to clean the place up anyway." I went back inside and chatted idly with my parents. In the gaps of conversation, I picked up my phone and casually opened Instagram, then suddenly froze. Ten minutes ago, Liam posted a new Story. It was a silhouette of him standing under a streetlamp against the snow. The caption read: "Been a while since I've seen snow." My high school best friend, Sarah, commented underneath: "You're home! Did Maya take this for you?" Liam replied to her: "No." 3 I stared blankly for a good while before clicking in to message Liam. "You didn't go home?" He didn't reply immediately. I sat on the couch, Mochi curled up next to me fast asleep. I absently rubbed his head until my phone vibrated. The boundless emotions in my heart seemed to suddenly solidify into a tangible shape. "Emily called me on the way back, said she wanted to take photos of the snowy night. So I dropped the camera off to her. I'm home now." He replied to me, "Why aren't you asleep yet?" "Waiting for your message." Then Liam voice-called me directly. "May, it's getting late, you should sleep. Your heart condition isn't great, don't stay up late." Unsure if it was the connection, but his voice sounded slightly raspy. I fell silent for a moment. "...Have you been drinking?" "Drank a little. I was out shooting the snow with Emily earlier. She was hyped, ran and bought some beer, but couldn't finish hers, so I had to—" He stopped abruptly, as if realizing he'd slipped up. The atmosphere went dead silent, quiet enough to hear each other breathing. After a moment, I whispered: "Liam, I feel like I don't know you anymore." The phone hung up. I returned to the bedroom, lay on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. My brain kept replaying the scene in the car earlier today. Emily was so natural when she picked up the drink Liam had sipped from, as if she had done it countless times before. This semester, Liam and I only saw each other that one time at Thanksgiving. And in the countless conversations before that, he had never mentioned this person to me. There was movement outside the door. Footsteps approaching, then a knock: "May, are you asleep?" "..." After coming in, Liam said, "I deleted the Story." "That beer... I didn't drink from the same can as her. I asked the clerk for a paper cup." "I already told Emily. She came just to see the snow, now she's seen it, and it's almost Christmas. Told her to head home early." He said so much in one breath, but I still had no reaction, just silently kneading the plush toy in my hands. That was also one of the gifts Liam gave me for my birthday many years ago. After a long while, I finally spoke: "Can you delete her?" "Yes." Liam agreed without hesitation. He took out his phone, deleted Emily as a friend right in front of me, then sat on the edge of the bed and gently held me. "Babe, don't be mad." He said, "I looked forward for so long to seeing you today. Just hang in there for another year—one more year and I'll be back for good." He very rarely called me that; his voice was incredibly gentle. My heart softened instantly. For the rest of the winter break, I was almost glued to Liam's side. The distance caused by being apart disappeared bit by bit. After school started again, because I had to begin studying for grad school entrance exams, I had to reduce the frequency of chatting with Liam. Several times, I’d leave FaceTime on while I studied or did practice problems on my end. Whenever I looked up, I’d see him staring intently at me. In April, for Liam’s birthday, I specifically requested time off from classes and flew out East to surprise him. I didn't tell Liam before going. So, when I stood at the south entrance of his campus, phone out to message him, I ran straight into Liam, camera around his neck, laughing and talking. With Emily. We both froze on the spot. 4 I turned to leave. Liam chased after me fast, his tone helpless: "May, at least listen to me explain..." I turned to look at him, expressionless. "Fine, explain." "The photography club had an outing this morning. When we left, I left my camera on the lawn. Emily said she forgot her hat too. We went back together to find our stuff, that’s why we fell behind the others alone." As he spoke, he showed me the group chat messages on his phone. Indeed, forty minutes ago, Liam had tagged someone else in the group, telling them to lead the team back to campus first, saying he had to go back for his camera. But how could it be so coincidental? My hand tightened silently on my backpack strap. Emily followed over, looking full of guilt: "I'm so sorry, Maya. Please don't misunderstand, I didn't mean to be alone with Liam." Liam frowned, turning his head to say: "If you can't say anything helpful, just shut up." Emily froze, a flash of grievance in her eyes. "Sorry... I didn't mean it like that." He rubbed the bridge of his nose irritably. "You go back first, I need to talk to my girlfriend." I suddenly wanted to laugh. And then I really did laugh out loud. "Liam, what are you doing?" I said. "Are you two putting on a show? Should I give you both an award?" The sun was slowly setting on the horizon. The fiery light hit Liam's face, and suddenly, his eyes looked weary. "Stop it, May." He said, "There really is nothing going on between me and Emily. We rarely get to see each other, let's not make it like this, okay?" I fought back the choke in my voice: "So you added her back as a friend, didn't you?" "Yes, I added her. That’s because last week I was sick at the hospital and my debit card wouldn't work. She covered my co-pay, so I had to pay her back." Liam's expression went cold. He tapped his phone a few times and handed it to me. "Here, look. Besides the money transfers, have I said a single word to her?" "You were sick last week?" I was stunned. "Why didn't you tell me?" "You were busy reviewing and taking practice tests, how could I make you worry? When we FaceTime, I want to talk to you, but you just brush me off to study." Liam sighed gently. "May, I know grad school is important to you. But we are in a relationship, could you spare some time to care about me too, okay?" I held his phone and looked down. On the screen, there were only two lonely transaction messages for sending and receiving money. Apart from that, not a single extra word. "If you're unhappy about it, I can delete her again right now." Liam reached out to take the phone back. I whispered, "Forget it, don't delete her." He probably heard the apology in my tone. After a moment, he composed himself and opened his arms to me: "Come here, give me a hug." That night, Liam stayed with me in a hotel off-campus. He kissed me for a long time, but stopped right before the final step, rolling over to sit up. "I'm gonna get some water to cool down." In fact, because I wanted to save that for after marriage, in the three years we'd been together, Liam and I had never gone all the way. But in this moment, an impulse from out of nowhere made me grab his wrist: "Don't go." Liam turned to look at me. Under the warm lamplight, his defined features looked incredibly alluring. "May..." His Adam's apple bobbed slightly. "Do you know what you're doing?" His voice was incredibly hoarse, his tone carrying a danger that made my heart tremble. I retreated, pulling my hand back and pulling the duvet over my face. "Never mind." Liam chuckled low. "I'm in no rush. Let's save it for our wedding day." The next day was Liam's birthday. I went with him to the aquarium and took the scenic tram up the mountain. In the evening, he called a few friends from the photography club, saying they had agreed to grab dinner together beforehand. When we met up, I realized this group included Emily. Just yesterday we confirmed there was no other contact between them. But seeing Emily's smiling face, in that moment, an uncomfortable feeling inevitably surged in my heart. On the way to the restaurant, someone suddenly stopped in front of us, saying to Liam and Emily: "I'm a photography student, doing some street photography. I feel like you two are a really matching couple, could I take a few couple photos of you?" I turned my head sharply, only to realize that Emily, walking on the other side, was practically glued to Liam's arm. She laughed out loud, saying through her giggles: "Sure." "Sure what? Who wants to take photos with you?" Liam said with a cold face, "Are you stupid? My girlfriend is standing right here, watch your jokes." Emily looked at me calmly and naturally: "Sorry, Maya." Even though she said it, there wasn't a shred of apology in her eyes. Someone else explained to me: "Maya, don't be mad. Emily's just like that, a tomboy personality, treats everyone like one of the guys. Liam’s true heart for you is solid as a rock." I pursed my lips and said blankly: "Is that so?" In that moment, I just felt Liam was incredibly far away. Even though the streetlights shone on him, even though we had known each other for fifteen whole years. But his eyes seemed submerged in a boundless deep sea. I couldn't see the emotions in his eyes, nor could I see his heart. By the time I snapped back to reality, we were already sitting in the restaurant. Emily was laughing and ordering food with the others, while Liam beside me was holding my hand, softly calling my name: "May." "...Babe." My eyelashes trembled. "Why didn't you push her away?"
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