The internet was blowing up with people looking for their lost online loves. I jumped on the bandwagon and posted a thread: [Thread] @MoonGazer: My first love. We met on a Discord study server in high school. He was a rich trust fund baby from New York with a terrible attitude but perfect grades. We promised to meet after graduation, but I ghosted him. Five years later, I still remember his name was Zach. A few minutes later, I got notifications for several replies: @King_J: I have a terrible attitude? @King_J: I’m standing exactly where we agreed to meet. Come say that to my face if you have the guts. @King_J: Also, my last name is Sterling, dammit. 1 The comment section under the "Find Your Digital Ex" video had over ten thousand replies. I naturally assumed my little contribution would vanish into the void. I didn't expect my phone to buzz a few minutes later. @King_J: I have a terrible attitude? I froze. Before I could even process what that meant, new notifications popped up. @King_J: I’m standing exactly where we agreed to meet. Come say that to my face if you have the guts. @King_J: Also, my last name is Sterling, dammit. "..." I was baffled until my eyes drifted to his username and profile picture. My heart slammed against my ribs. Username: King. Avatar: A single moon in a pitch-black sky. The username was exactly the same as the one on the study server back in high school. The avatar was the one I used to use. It was really him. My first reaction wasn't joy. It was panic. I only dared to remember him while hiding in the crowd. I was absolutely not prepared to face him. While I was spiraling, a DM popped up in my inbox from a stranger. King: Moon. A short, simple summons. No follow-up. A moment later, another DM from a different account: User882: Damn it, 'Stranger'. The message was abrupt, but I recognized the tone instantly. It was the same person. Because right after that, a new message from a new throwaway account appeared every minute: User883: Give me. Your contact info. User884: 555-019-XXXX. That's mine. Text me. User885: Where are you? Answer me! User886: Ignoring me, huh? Great! I can borrow a hundred more accounts! "..." I stared at the endless stream of DMs, realizing this man was locked in. He wouldn't stop until he got a result. I sighed. I clicked on the "Where are you? Answer me!" message and replied with an ellipsis. For a long time, there was no reply. The spamming stopped. I realized he must be waiting. I went to find his original account to reply. But then, a new message jumped to the top of my screen. King: I’ve been looking for you for five years. I don’t even know your real name. Is it that hard to just say a word to me? One sentence. And I was dragged back five years into the past. 2 Jace Sterling and I used to be just internet friends. back in high school, Discord study servers were huge. High schoolers from all over the country would hang out there, mostly to compare notes and compete. Senior year, I spent all my time in the Math channel. If I saw an interesting problem, I’d solve it. One day, a post caught my eye. @MathWhiz: I’m top of my class, AP Calc medalist, but I can’t crack this. Can any god-tier genius help? The problem was genuinely hard. It took me an hour to derive the answer. Filled with a sense of accomplishment, I posted my solution. But I noticed someone else had uploaded theirs at the exact same second. He tagged me immediately. @King: Trash. You did it wrong. My answer is the right one. I scanned his process and easily found a hole in his logic. I circled the error in red and replied, not holding back. @Moon: Moron. The mistake is yours! Less than a minute later, he circled a flaw in mine. @King: Idiot. We ended up in an unspoken race, solving the problem again. But every time one of us posted an answer, the other would find a loophole and attach a colorful insult. In less than two hours, we had built a thread of 99+ replies under that post. Finally, half a day later, the original poster reappeared: @MathWhiz: Sorry guys, my teacher just said the problem itself has a typo. It’s unsolvable. We both paused. Then, simultaneously, we turned our rage on the OP. @King: Are you kidding me? A typo? I was about to solve it! @Moon: Ignorant child! Don't mess with my flow! I was about to solve it too! This time I was right! The thread exploded with another 99+ comments. It ended with both Jace and me getting banned from the server for 24 hours. And that was how our "feud" began. From math, we moved to English, Physics, then to piano, art, and movies... We talked about everything, but never revealed our real names or backgrounds. We only used our handles. Because we made a pact: we would introduce ourselves properly the first time we met in person. That way, our first meeting would feel like a reunion. I only knew Jace’s name because once, during a video call where we only showed our desks, I caught a glimpse of the corner of his test paper. Turns out, I read it wrong. "Zach." A wrong name that I had chewed on for five years. Just like my absurd life—traveling further and further down the wrong track. 3 Maybe humans are just obsessed with things that lack closure. You need an introduction when you meet, and a goodbye when you part. Only then is the circle complete. Otherwise, it haunts you. I figured that’s how Jace felt about me. The DMs were still coming. I closed my eyes, took a breath, and replied to his main account: Moon: I’m sorry. Breaking our promise and leaving without a word was my fault. I owed him that. Moon: I’m sorry I couldn't make it five years ago. Moon: I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say besides sorry... If you need a formal goodbye to move on, I won't run away. The spamming stopped the moment I sent the apology. But after a long silence, Jace sent just two words: King: Contact info. I paused. Moon: I don't think that's necessary. King: Not necessary? Jace seemed agitated. King: I was ghosted, not dumped. Moon: What do you mean... I was confused. Jace replied instantly: King: We never broke up. You’re still my girlfriend. 4 I never believed that a teenage heartbeat across a network cable could last. I thought Jace was looking for me out of indignation, anger, or a need for answers... I never thought it was because of love. Besides, we weren't technically together. It was just one night before graduation. We were talking about colleges and realized we both aimed for New York. Jace suddenly looked at the camera—well, at his desk—and said seriously: "There's a coffee shop across from the NYU campus. After graduation, let's meet there." I agreed happily. I saw the tips of his ears turn red on the screen as he looked away. "When we meet... be my girlfriend." I was stunned, but I said yes without hesitation. We were young and shy, but honest. We weren't afraid to pay the price for our feelings. But now... I couldn't even afford the price of an apology. I stayed silent. Jace, sharp as ever, caught the loophole in my previous words. King: You said if I needed a formal goodbye, you wouldn't run away. King: So don't run. Number. Now. I was in the wrong, so I gave him my number. I accepted the friend request on WeChat. I thought he would demand to know where I had been for five years. I thought he would ask for explanations, reasons, groveling... Instead, his first message was: Jace: I'm sorry my temper is bad. Jace: I'll change. 5 In an instant, my eyes welled up. That arrogant, domineering boy always bowed his head to me without hesitation. When we first met, he was so explosive I thought he was just a toxic guy who cared too much about face. But after a few arguments, I realized he was always the first to show weakness. He would pretend nothing happened and send a math problem: Jace: 1292 + 2013.1 I was still mad and didn't check the math, just sending a question mark. He would reply lightly: Jace: Sum it up. [Note: In Chinese internet slang, numbers often represent words. 5201314 means "I love you forever".] Two words, and our war would end. Looking back now, it felt like a lifetime ago. Maybe because I took too long to reply, Jace returned to his bossy self: Jace: I’m at the coffee shop across from NYU. Come see me. I sighed. Moon: Sorry, I’m not in New York. Jace: Then come to New York. Moon: I can’t. Jace was probably getting angry again. Jace: Are you playing me? You promised five years ago! Jace: Or? He stopped typing. A long silence followed before the second half of his thought appeared. Jace: Do you have another boyfriend now? Moon: No. I blinked, and a tear hit the screen. Moon: That's not the reason. Jace: Then why? My finger hovered over the text box. Finally, through blurry eyes, I typed the truth, letter by letter. Moon: I don't have the money for a plane ticket.
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