Discovering my husband's infidelity was a very small matter. At a dinner with friends, he, who was always aloof, suddenly and actively served food to everyone present. Later. I heard him reciting a line from Roman Holiday in his study. "I have to leave you now. I'm going to that corner there and turn. You must stay in the car and drive away." Wait, that's not right. He was reciting, "I have shaken hands with everyone in the receiving line, just to shake yours." Tsk! 1 Ethan and I both come from small towns in the middle of nowhere. Small-town test-takers. Relying on hellish studying to win in the college entrance exams (SATs/ACTs equivalent), we completed our degrees at top-tier universities. After graduation, we both passed the civil service exams and entered the system. Starting from the grassroots, one step at a time, slowly taking root and extending in the provincial capital where we had no foundation. Now. We have each been promoted to department leaders, have decent social status, bought a car and a house, and our housing provident fund is enough to cover the loan. In short, we achieved success in the secular sense and completed the class jump in mainstream values in the most traditional, fair, and shortcut-free way for Chinese people (or Americans who value hard work). This year, Ethan and I had two more happy events. The first was at the beginning of the year when he was transferred to a leadership position in a state-owned enterprise, and his salary and benefits increased several times. The other thing is that I'm pregnant. Yes, it took 6 years after marriage for me to get pregnant. Ethan is the only son for three generations and has hereditary weak sperm. Basically, after 30, there is no possibility of fertility. Our journey to conceive in the past few years was no easier than settling down and establishing a career. Fortunately, 2 months ago, in the first spring after Ethan turned 30, I finally got pregnant. When we got the report, Ethan, who rarely showed emotion, hugged me. Weeping with joy like a child. 2 Having struggled in this city for many years, we have a few friends who gather regularly. Today was one such occasion. When the dinner started, everyone surrounded Ethan, praising him for being young and promising, saying a vice-director position was just around the corner. Ethan smiled indifferently. In the government office, he was famous for his "pen," always highly regarded, and had an aloof air about him. "Tiger and his wife are coming today too." Someone said. Everyone's faces suddenly looked a bit strange. Tiger is Ethan's fellow townsman. Two years ago, he made some money as a contractor, but ended up getting addicted to gambling. He not only lost his family property but also became a discredited person (blacklisted for debt). Every time we gather, he drinks himself into a stupor, cursing heaven and earth and social injustice. Last time, he even fought with an old friend and beat him so badly he was hospitalized for half a month. "I asked him to come." Ethan put down his teacup and said lightly. "After all, we've been friends for many years. We can't stop being friends just because he's down on his luck." Seeing his stance, everyone couldn't say anything more and nodded with embarrassed smiles. I frowned slightly. Not for anything else, but because I'm pregnant. Tiger smokes heavily, one after another without stopping. If I mention it to him, he puts on a sarcastic expression as if I'm "looking down on people." I wanted to talk to Ethan, but saw his gaze towards the door, seemingly expecting something. Bang! The door was pushed open forcefully. I shuddered. I saw Tiger walking in, cursing. "Charging me twenty bucks for parking, why the hell don't they just rob me!" He pointed behind him and cursed again, "Ungrateful thing! Every woman helps her own man, only you, bitch, help outsiders!" Behind him, a woman walked in with her head down, faint finger marks on her face. This is Tiger's wife, Sarah. She looks gentle and virtuous, but unfortunately, she has a bad fate and got stuck with a violent husband like Tiger. "What are you shouting about! Watch it!" Ethan suddenly spoke in a deep voice, sounding very displeased. Upon seeing him, Tiger immediately changed his face, smiling broadly. "Bro, sorry sorry, my bad temper acting up again, not paying attention to the occasion. I'll punish myself with three drinks later!" Saying this, he sat down carelessly, picking up chopsticks to eat peanuts, ignoring the person behind him. Sarah stood awkwardly by the door. Her hand quietly brushed a lock of hair down, obviously trying to hide her face. Everyone showed sympathy and deliberately looked away to avoid embarrassing her. I sighed and said loudly. "Sarah, come sit down, food will be served soon." She smiled gratefully at me and walked in to sit next to Tiger. "Thank you, sister-in-law." After speaking, she looked past me at Ethan next to me and whispered: "Thank you, brother." Ethan's face was slightly tense, and he didn't say anything. During the meal, Tiger started cursing again, smoking and drinking, quickly turning red like a cooked shrimp. Sarah peeled shrimp for him one moment and poured wine for him the next, barely eating anything herself. Just as I was about to tell her to eat more. Ethan suddenly extended his chopsticks and put a piece of fish for Tom, who was hosting the dinner next to him. Tom laughed, "I'm the host today, I should be the one serving you." "It's all the same." Ethan said lightly, then stood up and put a shrimp for the person sitting next. Just like that, following the seating order, he put a chopstick of food or served a bowl of soup for everyone. Everyone present was flattered. "What's wrong with Brother Ethan today? The sun rose from the west." "Yeah, we're really not used to this." "It must be because sister-in-law is pregnant, Brother Ethan is happy!" "Right right right! That explains it!" I was also a bit surprised, but hearing everyone say this, I felt it was indeed so. Ethan is introverted and not good at expressing himself. My pregnancy is great news for him and his entire family. His parents back in his hometown were even more excited than when they learned he passed the civil service exam. At this moment, I smiled and wanted to tease him a bit. But I saw him raise his eyes slightly, his gaze seemingly inadvertently landing on the front right. I followed his gaze. Sarah lowered her head, drinking soup sip by sip with a spoon. Between the hanging hair, a pair of almond eyes were slightly red. ... Ethan just served her a bowl of chicken soup. 3 I work in HR at my unit. When it comes to observing people and interpersonal relationships, I am relatively more experienced and thorough than others. For example, I saw at a glance. Ethan's abnormal behavior today stemmed from wanting to serve Sarah that bowl of soup. Why would Ethan suddenly care so much about Sarah? I couldn't help but think back to two months ago. Tiger's father passed away. As a fellow townsman, Ethan went back to offer condolences and visit his parents by the way. He was gone for 5 days, going and returning with Tiger and his wife. Could something have happened during this period? Professional sensitivity has taught me not to jump to conclusions easily. After all, objectively speaking, Ethan treats me quite well. We met by the artificial lake in college. He was the earliest person to go for morning reading every day. I was second. We are extremely similar. From small places, poor family backgrounds. Three generations of support produced a model of family glory. For all these years, pressure and honor have focused on us, running all the way without daring to slack off even a bit. I felt like I finally found a companion. Like walking alone on the dark ocean floor and discovering I wasn't alone. I think my significance to him is the same... Regarding the incident at the dinner table during the day. I didn't say a word. At night, he held me, desire hard to suppress. "Grace, not yet?" "Yeah, not three months yet, wait a bit longer." He panted heavily, got out of bed, and said helplessly: "I'll go take a cold shower." When I was sleeping groggily, he woke me up. He frowned. "Tiger is drunk and smashing things again, I'll go check." "Who called you?" I asked. "...His wife. She and the kid were crying on the phone, seems serious." I checked my phone, past eleven. "Too late, don't go. If there's really a problem, she can call the police. Besides, this is their family affair, you aren't related to them—" "Grace!" Ethan suddenly shouted at me harshly. I was stunned by his shout. His face was full of impatience, a trace of strange irony in his eyes. "When did you become so selfish? Now that your life is good, you just watch your own kind suffer? You know Sarah's character, would she ask me for help if she had a choice? Grace, aren't you ashamed of saying such cold words to a friend?" I looked at him in astonishment. As if I didn't know him. I haven't quarreled with anyone for a long time. Whether colleagues, family, or Ethan. Long ago, I realized that quarreling doesn't solve problems; it only turns dialogue into a collision of emotions while gradually losing reason. Even if we quarrel, it is a means, not an end. Anger hurts the body. Hurts one's own body. At this moment, I closed my eyes and asked him calmly: "My current life is what I struggled for step by step. Why should I feel ashamed because of others' misfortunes?" Ethan stood by the bed, looking at me coldly. "I'm definitely going today." I don't know when Ethan came back at night. When I went to work, his shoes were by the door. The door to the small bedroom was closed tight. I had an organizational review meeting that day. Very important. Couldn't be dragged down by his emotions. 4 This small dispute was resolved by the evening. When I came home from work, hot food and cut fruit were on the table. And a birthday cake. He came out with a bowl of soup, smiling as if nothing had happened, "Just in time, wash your hands and eat, I made your favorite braised fish in soy sauce." I lowered my eyes, slowly put my bag on the cabinet by the door, looked up, and smiled too. "Happy birthday." He laughed. "31, an old man now." During the meal, he said casually: "Last night I went to scold Tiger and came back. Afraid of waking you up, I slept in the next room." I nodded and didn't speak. Getting up after eating, I remembered something, turned and said to him: "I haven't been sleeping well lately. How about you sleep in the small bedroom for now?" He froze for a moment. "Okay." For the next period, Ethan and I's life returned to calm. I was busy with interviews and onboarding processes for new staff at the unit, and he was busy launching a new project at the company. As if nothing had happened. We are both people who prioritize reason over emotion. We weigh the pros and cons in everything we do. I think this is probably the benefit of marrying a rational person. But soon, I found out I was wrong.
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