Gabriel was hosting a birthday dinner for his "White Moonlight"—the one who got away—at the restaurant where I worked. He tipped every staff member generously. I stood in the line-up, bowing with everyone else. "Happy Birthday, Ms. Sterling." "Wishing you both a long and happy life together." Gabriel looked at me for two seconds longer than necessary, but said nothing. After work, I wrapped my puffer jacket tight and walked onto the snowy streets of Manhattan. I remembered the day I found out I was pregnant. My friend Sarah had urged me: "Don't rush to get rid of it. How do you know Gabriel won't want it?" "Anyone with eyes can see he's spoiled you rotten these past few years." "Just tell him. Maybe he'll propose on the spot." The indulgence of the last few years had made me delusional for a moment, thinking we might have a future. I sighed silently. I took out my phone and booked an abortion appointment. 1 Until they finished their meal. Gabriel didn't seem to notice my presence. Or maybe the grand piano blocked me from his view. I was a part-time pianist here. Even though Gabriel gave me a $50,000 allowance every month. My "sugar baby" contract with him was expiring in a month. I would need to find a real job soon. Adapting to society a bit early was tough, but necessary. Before they left, the manager nudged me forward. "Mr. Vance's girlfriend praised the birthday setup. He's very happy and tipping everyone $1,000." "Go on, thank him with the others. Say something nice." There was no escape. I stood up and joined the line of servers. Gabriel glanced up casually. Then, his gaze slowly locked onto me. I kept my head down, bowing in unison with the others. "Happy Birthday, Ms. Sterling." "Wishing you both happiness and a long life together." Serena Sterling rested her chin on her hand, smiling radiantly. "Thank you all." "But you've misunderstood. We aren't a couple." She glanced at Gabriel subconsciously. "What's wrong? What are you looking at?" Gabriel withdrew his gaze indifferently. "Nothing." 2 Gabriel had booked the entire restaurant for the evening for Serena. So after they left, we could clock out. Pianists have specific performance gowns. I changed back into my own down jacket in the locker room. My hand instinctively reached into my pocket. I touched a piece of paper and froze. I walked to the bus stop before pulling out the warm, crumpled paper. It was the pregnancy test result from a week ago. It read: Positive. Estimated 8 weeks. 3 Hospital hallway. After the initial shock and panic of finding out I was pregnant, my first reaction was to book an abortion. Sarah stopped me. "What are you doing?" "The contract with Gabriel says: accidental pregnancy means immediate termination." She poked my forehead in frustration. "Are you the only person in the world who strictly follows that stupid sugar baby contract?" "Anyone can see Gabriel spoils you to death now." "What sugar baby gets treated like this?" She counted on her fingers. "Last time you went to Boston for a concert and there was a blizzard? He couldn't reach you, went crazy, canceled all his meetings, and drove seven hours to find you." "He drove through a storm when planes were grounded. Did you forget?" Sarah listed three examples in a row. I listened quietly, my fingers rubbing the paper. She took a deep breath and concluded. "At least ask Gabriel for his attitude." "In my opinion, he won't let you get rid of it. He might even be happy enough to propose." My friend's interruption made me miss the clinic's hours. Plus, I had been busy this week. I had almost forgotten about it. Sarah said to ask for Gabriel's attitude. Serena's appearance was his answer. I took out my phone and rescheduled the abortion for next week. The bus arrived. My reflection in the window was calm. No ripples. Giving up on something turned out to be this simple. I got on the bus and found a seat. Suddenly, I felt that loving Gabriel was something that belonged to a previous lifetime. 4 Junior year of college. Several classmates and I interned at Vance Group. Gabriel treated me with special care. But he also seemed to avoid getting too close. I suffered daily from the uncertainty. I overheard the truth by accident. I went to deliver files to Gabriel. Before knocking, I heard my name mentioned inside. My hand froze in mid-air. "Gabe, you're using that little girl, Nora, as a stand-in for Serena, aren't you?" "Don't deny it. The face isn't similar, but that vibe she has... it's definitely there." Gabriel spoke: "Not really similar." His friend continued: "True, she can't compare to Serena. Serena is so noble." "You fought your family for her, finally got them to accept her, and she dumped you to pursue her 'art dreams' in Paris." Gabriel was silent. His friend advised: "But if you think Nora is okay, just keep her around. I can't stand seeing you look like a lost soul anymore." "Besides, you can tell that little girl really likes you." I stood there, numbly listening to everything. Reason told me to stay away from Gabriel. But the pain of sudden withdrawal came like waves, drowning me. So, when Gabriel pushed the "arrangement" contract toward me, I was silent. Gabriel assumed I refused and nodded gentlemanly. "I apologize. I overstepped." I snapped back to reality. I took the pen, signed, and smiled. "No, I was just shocked by the amount you offered." I brainwashed myself: I'm with Gabriel for the money. I don't like him at all.
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