On the night my childhood friend got drunk, the secret that I am intersex was exposed. After things went too far, I fled the country overnight. Years later, I bumped into him at the gate of a kindergarten. He looked at the little girl beside me, his face darkening. "You're married? "And this child... why does she look so much like me?" 1 "Can I bite here?" His familiar voice whispered in my ear. Causing ripples to spread through my body. I couldn't see his face clearly. But I knew who he was. Lucas. The childhood friend I had secretly loved for years. After graduating high school, while tossing and turning over college applications, I realized my feelings for Lucas were different from ordinary brotherhood. But I couldn't break that barrier. Not just because I'm a man. But because I'm intersex. A monster in other people's eyes. I cautiously spent four years with him in college. On the day of graduation, we drank too much. I hugged him, borrowing courage from the alcohol. I just wanted to hold him for a moment and let go. But I don't know who made the first move. Later, things spiraled out of control. He was drunk and seemed to mistake me for someone else. My secret was exposed that night. "Why is it a bit different?" Lucas looked at me, his face flushed. His gaze was unfocused. Fortunately, he blacks out when he drinks too much. "So strange." He muttered while making me want to cry. "Do you like it?" He asked. Breathing became louder and louder. My heartbeat couldn't hide the throbbing. Like. Always liked. Just as I was about to say it. Suddenly, I was pushed. "Daddy, why are you crying? Time to get up." 2 I looked at my daughter, exquisitely carved like jade, beside the bed. I shook my head, realizing I had dreamed of him again. After that night, fearing Lucas would remember I was a monster, I ran away overnight to study abroad. Didn't finish studying, but had a cub. Abroad, I just said my wife ran away and left the child with me. Everyone looked at me with sympathy. I got up to cook for Mia. My phone kept notifying me. The gaming group chat with my childhood friends was blowing up. [Lucas is getting married. Damn, he's actually the first among us brothers.] [I've seen the girl, very beautiful. They make a perfect couple.] [Tagging Asher. Tell him to come back for the wedding and be the best man. weren't they close? Why no news after going abroad?] I looked at the messages tagging me. My gaze fell on the engagement party invitation. Although I knew Lucas would marry a woman, seeing it still stung my heart. Mia finished her eggs and asked, "Daddy, when can I go to kindergarten?" She's already three. Can't stay abroad forever; she needs a proper education. I put down my phone and wiped the corner of her mouth. "Next month, we go back for school." 3 I took Mia home. My parents didn't expect me to come back with a child after one trip. Half joy, half worry. They thought I was deceived by a bad woman abroad. After handling the admission to the international school. I was worried Mia wouldn't adapt and would cry. At dismissal time, I waited early at the kindergarten gate. Mia came out beaming, telling me kindergarten was fun and she made new friends. I carried her backpack. Turned around and bumped into an acquaintance. Lucas was more composed than in his student days, his phoenix eyes always carrying a faint smile, polite yet distant. He wore an expensive suit, looking like he just came from the company. Various words for a long-awaited reunion flashed through my mind. Finally, I only managed to stutter one sentence. "Long time no see." "When did you come back? Why didn't you say anything?" "Just came back recently, haven't had time to notify anyone." Lucas glanced at the child beside me. Mia was also secretly observing him. She tugged at me and whispered, "Daddy, this uncle is so handsome, like a star on TV." The smile in Lucas's eyes faded. "You're married? When?" "No, unmarried parent." "Who's the mother?" "Um... someone I loved." I tried to cover it up. "You don't know her." He sneered. "Suddenly left the country without a word, lost contact for so long. Turns out you went to chase love?" "..." I wasn't that devoted. I was just afraid my secret would be exposed, so I became a deserter. "Why are you here? Picking up a child too? You're an unmarried parent too?" I remembered his engagement and imagined a dramatic shotgun wedding scenario. Lucas was expressionless: "I wasn't as fast as you. I'm picking someone up." Just as I was about to ask who. Mia suddenly laughed: "Hello, Miss Jiang." Miss Jiang greeted her, walked to Lucas's side, glanced at me, and naturally took Lucas's arm. "So you're Mia's father? Mia is very cute. She was the most active in the first class today." Mia is a chatterbox, playful everywhere. I responded with a few polite words, staring at their intimate distance. Didn't expect the child's homeroom teacher to be Lucas's fiancée. What a coincidence. Noticing my gaze, Miss Jiang asked and found out Lucas and I were childhood friends. "Would you like to have dinner together? We were planning to go to a nearby restaurant." Miss Jiang smiled beautifully, her manners impeccable. I shook my head, "No thanks, you guys go ahead." I didn't want to be a third wheel, so I said goodbye and left with the child. Miss Jiang was still asking Lucas softly about which flowers to choose for the engagement party. I looked back. They really were a perfect match. If I were a normal person, maybe I could try pursuing him. But I didn't even qualify to enter the competition. 4 Later, every time I went to pick up the child, I would bump into Lucas. He really liked Miss Jiang. Kindergarten dismissed at 3:30 every day, and he was always on time to pick her up from work. Didn't he need to work? Must have inherited the family business. My parents were ordinary university professors, incomparable to his wealthy family background. In student days, everyone lived in the courtyard, mixing together like mud children. Growing up, the more I realized the vast difference between us. I found a job at a design company nearby. Occasionally when busy, I'd ask my friend Daniel to pick up the child. Daniel was also a returnee I met abroad. On a rainy day, Daniel said he didn't pick up the child. My heart tightened, and I quickly called Miss Jiang. She said the weather was bad, she didn't feel safe handing the child to a stranger, so Lucas took Mia away. Hearing the name Lucas, my temples throbbed. I never told Mia about her origins, wanting to wait until she grew up. But she talked a lot. Being with Lucas, I was afraid he would find out something. I rushed to the Villa District. Soaked by the heavy rain. When the butler opened the door, the sound of cartoons came from inside. Mia: "Uncle, I've seen you before. My daddy has your photo on his phone. He often..." "Mia!" I quickly interrupted her. "Daddy." She rushed over to hug me. "Look, Uncle bought me so many toys." The sofa was full of dolls, somewhat incongruous with the cold, luxurious interior. Lucas had quite a few sparkly stickers on his clothes, his hair messy. It seemed Mia had given him a hard time. I thanked Lucas and wanted to leave with the child. He pulled me back. "It's windy outside. You're soaked, you'll get sick." "It's okay, I'll just take a taxi." "You're okay, but what about the child?" "..." I looked at him and admitted defeat. Because of my physical condition, Mia was premature and weak. She really couldn't handle the cold wind. "Go dry your hair. Dinner is ready. After you eat, I'll have someone drive you." Lucas said, already asking the maid to prepare towels and clothes.
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