Before the final exam of my senior year, my daughter threatened that if I didn't buy her the entire Apple ecosystem, she wouldn't take the test. For her future, I gritted my teeth and agreed. After she successfully finished her exams and got her Apple products, she came home and presented me with a graduation gift wishlist. It added up to nearly $15,000, money I simply didn't have. She turned around and shamed me online, ranting that "if you can't afford to raise a child, don't have one," and threatened that if I didn't buy her these gifts, she would refuse to apply for college. I was cyberbullied to the point of a mental breakdown and had to take out loans to satisfy her demands just so she would go to college. Little did I know, this was just the beginning. In college, she constantly competed with her classmates—demanding luxury clothes and bags, renting a high-end apartment, asking for expensive plastic surgery... I couldn't afford it. In a fit of rage, she pushed me into the river, claimed a huge insurance payout, and squandered it all with a delinquent boyfriend. When I opened my eyes again, I was back before the final exam of her senior year, listening to my daughter threaten not to take the test. I smiled brightly: "Fine, don't take it! Go straight to work in a factory and save me the tuition." 1 "Mom, everyone in my class is getting the full Apple suite for graduation. I don't care, if I don't have it, I'm not taking the last History exam." "I might as well not go to college and just work to buy it myself. Using a cheap phone is embarrassing anyway, I'd rather be dead." Hearing my daughter Chloe's familiar threats, I realized I had been reborn. Checking my phone, it was exactly noon on the last day of the college entrance exams in my previous life. Less than half an hour before the final History exam. Looking at my daughter sulking outside the exam center, I felt no anxiety. After all, the despair of being pushed into the river by her without hesitation in my past life was too deeply etched in my memory. I closed my eyes, mourning the ungrateful wretch I had painstakingly raised. When I opened them again, I wore a look of relief. "Chloe, you've grown up. You know how to feel sorry for your mom." She was confused: "What do you mean? You agreed?" I smiled brightly: "Fine, whatever you say. Don't take the exam! Go straight to work at a factory tomorrow and save me a fortune in tuition." "Perfect, I'll use the money I saved for your college to go on a trip. It's been years since I relaxed." My daughter's face fell, looking even uglier than before. "Mom, how can you think like that? If you use the tuition for travel, how will I go to college?" See, she didn't really want to skip college. She just knew too well that for a mother, nothing was a better bargaining chip than her child's future. I looked surprised: "Didn't you say you weren't going? I have to respect your decision. You're an adult now, anyway. My job raising you is done." In my past life, she often complained to teachers, classmates, and relatives that I didn't respect her opinions, and that her father divorced me because I was too controlling. Even though she knew perfectly well that we divorced because her father cheated. She made everyone stereotype me as a controlling single mother who became twisted after losing her husband, suffocating her daughter. So later, when I died "accidentally," many people thought I deserved it and even comforted my daughter, saying she was finally free of her suffocating mother. "Mom, if I don't go to college, I won't find a good job. How will I support myself? I'll still have to come back and mooch off you." Seeing my nonchalance, my daughter got anxious. I waved my hand dismissively: "It's fine. Didn't you say you wanted to work in a factory to buy whatever you want? That means you can definitely support yourself." "If it really doesn't work out, and one day I can't work anymore and you have no money, we'll just die together. I've lived long enough anyway." Threatening with death? Like I don't know how to do that. Threats only work if you care more than she does. But now, I didn't care. 2 My daughter's expression was priceless; she was speechless for a long time. But since I had centered my life around her for so many years, she bet that I wouldn't really abandon her. So she sat under a tree and started playing games on her phone, acting like she really wouldn't take the exam. Fortunately, I was more resolute than her. While she wasn't looking, I took her exam admission ticket from beside her and tossed it into a nearby trash can. "Let's go, Chloe. Before checkout time, let's go back to the hotel for a nap." Her eyes widened, unable to believe I actually threw away her ticket. She even forgot her game. After reacting, she screamed. "Mom, what are you doing?!" "Hurry up, it's too hot. Since you're not taking the exam, that piece of paper is useless." I urged impatiently, pulling her to walk back. She was dragged along by me, but her steps were heavy as lead, looking back at that trash can every few steps. As the exam time drew closer, we were getting farther and farther away from the exam center... Her breathing became more anxious, her forehead and palms sweaty. I, on the other hand, felt lighter and lighter, even humming a tune. When we were almost at the hotel, she finally couldn't take it anymore and flung my hand away. "Why do you get to decide if I take the exam or not? What kind of heartless, selfish mother are you! I won't let you have your way!" She threw these words at me and ran back toward the exam center. Our hotel was diagonally opposite the exam site, a few hundred meters away. I watched her sprint to the trash can, dig out her admission ticket, and then dash towards the school. Finally, she made it into the exam center a second before the gates closed. So she knew how important the exam was for herself. And here I thought she was taking it for me. I sneered and went straight back to the hotel. I planned to take a nap and then carefully plan my future. Because I was done with this ungrateful wretch. 3 Taking care of my daughter for the exams had exhausted me physically and mentally. But lying in bed, I couldn't sleep. Closing my eyes only brought regret. I couldn't help but wonder, what did I do wrong to raise such a heartless child? Chloe's dad gave $500 a month in child support, and not always on time. I bore almost all the major expenses. Money wasn't tight, but I was never stingy with what she needed. Worried that a single-parent household disadvantaged her, I prioritized her needs, even if it meant skimping on myself. Thinking back, perhaps it was this lack of financial concept and my constant compromises that made her appetite grow bigger and bigger. In my past life, before entering the exam room, she demanded the Apple suite. To give her peace of mind for the exam, despite my tight budget, I gritted my teeth and agreed. Even though I was still using a $200 Android phone from three years ago. The latest iPhone, MacBook, iPad, AirPods, and Apple Watch cost nearly $4,000, which was three months of my salary. With my income in a second-tier city, it didn't seem completely unbearable. But after paying for our daily expenses, mortgage, car loan, and utilities, there was barely anything left. Spending three months' salary at once meant I had to find other ways to fill the hole. But I was just a nurse working shifts day and night. My income was hard-earned; where would I find extra channels and time to make more money? But since I promised, I delivered. I bought her the Apple suite that day. The college entrance exam happens once in a lifetime. Seeing my daughter happy, I thought the hardship was worth it. Little did I know, this was just the beginning. 4 Her happiness lasted only two days. She found some guide online and gave me a graduation gift wishlist, telling me to buy everything on it. Looking at the list totaling nearly $15,000, I felt dizzy. I couldn't come up with that much money immediately. My daughter was furious. She went online and shamed me, saying "if you can't afford to raise a child, don't have one." She even threatened that if I didn't buy these gifts, she would refuse to apply for college. I was cyberbullied to the point of a breakdown. I had to use my savings and take out loans to barely scrape together enough money for the gift list before she would agree to go to college. Later, she became more and more excessive, constantly competing with classmates in college— Demanding luxury clothes and bags, renting high-end apartments, asking for expensive cosmetic surgery... I couldn't afford it at all. In a fit of rage, while we were taking a walk, she pushed me into the river. Then, with the $500,000 insurance payout, she lived it up with a delinquent boyfriend. Fortunately, dying once made me see people's hearts clearly and woke me up. Besides being a mother, I am myself. Why can't I live for myself just once?
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